Marriage and Family Test 2

money; real wedding; financial goals; economic provider; stress & conflict

"Everything's there except money" · In depth interviews with 115 working class and lower middle-class cohabiting (or recently cohabiting) couples in Toledo, OH o Not just poor couples o Only cohabiting couples · Examining the link between economic circumstances and marital decision-making · Five major economic issues cohabiters believe are important for marriage o Having enough __ - About 1/3 of those citing economic factors as prerequisite for marriage said they needed money to be in place - Being "comfortable" - Paying down debt, catching up on bills, student loans o Paying for a "__ __" - 1/5 of those mentioning economic issues as important for getting married mentioned the cost of a wedding - ... plus, the honeymoon, engagement ring, etc. - Church wedding vs. downtown/courthouse wedding § Not a religious thing § "... that's the poor people way" - Parents do not or cannot pay for wedding expenses o Achieving set of __ __ prior to marriage - Not just having enough money - Yes, money, but also good jobs, home, car, schooling completed § "... we gotta have everything we need before we say 'Let's get married" - 22% of people mentioning economic issues as prerequisites for marriage mention homeownership o Male needs to be __ __ - Gendered § Women more concerned about partner's job than their own by 3 to 1 § Despite higher gender egalitarianism among cohabiters - Mentioned by 1/3 of those who mentioned an economic prerequisite for marriage o Lack of money as source of __ & __ - ¼ said money was a source of conflict in relationship - Accords with social scientific findings on economic distress and marital quality

constructionists; integrationists

- Evidence from twin studies § Identical twins (shares 100% of genes) § Fraternal twins (share 50%) § Adoptive siblings (0) - Weak evidence for social/cultural effects § Parents/Peers treat children the same § Psychiatrists/Psychologists generally fail to alter orientation o Implications - If homosexuality is inherent, less justification for restricting legal rights of homosexuals to marry § Same-sex marriage advocates ask: should it matter? § Opponents of same-sex marriage: Not necessary to give in to biological predispositions o Main disagreement between constructionists and integrationists - __: society completely determines identities - __: both society and biology determine identities o What do Americans believe determines sexual identities? Genes > parenting practices > God's will (same as biological) > outside environment > friends

mistakes

- Most encounters at parties are fun and consensual - Partying a way to meet people, enhance social position - Blaming victims, the way to account for harm that comes to women at parties § Women's "__" § Not the party scene itself or men's behavior within it § Allows women to feel like they are in control: e.g. "smart, careful women will not be assaulted" § Prevention strategies for women perpetuate this idea: watch drinks, stay with friends, avoid mistakes § Gives a sense of status: sexual respect a sign of erotic status o Implications

higher; decrease

- White women at __ risk of sexual assault than African American women § Gender egalitarianism among African Americans § African American fraternities and sororities not entirely social - Diversity may __ sexual assault § Avoid selection into certain residence halls - Alcohol polices may not always contribute to student safety § Can heighten symbolic significance of drinking, increase consumption of hard liquor, push consumption to private and more dangerous places - Sexual assault education should shift form (only) educating women about preventative measures to educating both women and men about the coercive behavior of men, sources of victim-blaming, role of alcohol, etc.

Kinsey report x2

- __ __ § Half of all men in his sample reported erotic feelings towards men § One third had at least one sexual experience with another man § Concluded that 10% of males were "more or less exclusively homosexual" for at least 3 years between ages 16-55) · Problems with the __ __ o Sample selection issues o 163 separate groups were approached, including - College students and staff - Seven groups of institutionalized males (juvenile delinquents, adult prisoners, mental patients) - Speech therapy patients - Conscientious objectors - Hitch hikers - Three rooming houses - About half came from people that attended his lectures

ambivalence (positive & negative)

A "Double-Bind" for women in college · Gender vs. class o As women, pressure to participation in traditional relationships - Sexual double standard o As middle-to-upper-class, want to avoid entanglements of relationships that might derail career plans o Result: __ (both __ & __ reactions) o Most common words women associated with hooking up: - "desirable" and "adventuresome" - "awkward" and "confused"

wealth; education & job histories

Advantages of marriage · Married couples build more __on average than singles or cohabiting couples o Even controlling for income · Why? o Economies of scale o Marital norms that promote wealth accumulation (e.g., home purchase) o Wealth transfers from both sets of grandparents · Married men earn more money than do single men with similar __ & __ __ o About 25% more, compared to similar unmarried men - Study of identical twins finds a 26% increase in earnings for the married twin, controlling for education, job history, and region · Married men appear to have o Greater work commitment o More strategic approaches to job searches - Less likely to quit without a new job in hand o Healthier and more stable personal routines o Emotional support from spouse o Or is it selection on wage growth?

reduces; short; long

Cohabitation and divorce · Does cohabitation lead to or prevent divorce, or neither? o Some evidence (from 2006-2010) suggests that cohabiting with one's spouse after engagement (but before marriage) __ women's risk of divorce, while cohabiting with one's spouse before engagement has no significant effect net of control variables (Manning and Cohen 2012) o But - This analysis didn't account for long-term effects, and cohabitation seems to have beneficial __-term effects but detrimental __-term effects (Rosenfeld and Roesler 22018) - Also, recall the slides on premarital sex and divorce (Teachman 2003) § Cohabitation's effect on divorce may hinge on one's cohabitation and sexual history § Multiple cohabitation and multiple sex partners may be the most salient risk factors

weight gain; housework

Disadvantages of marriage · __ __ o Those who married had higher BMI scores than those who remained unmarried over a 3-year study - Equivalent to gaining 8 pounds for 5'10, 170 lb person o More than two times more likely to become obese than those who are in a non-cohabiting, dating relationship o Why? - Married adults probably feel less pressure or incentive to stay fit to attract or keep a partner, compared to unmarried peers · More __ for women o Cohabiting women do 31 hours of housework per week compared to 37 hours for married women o Cohabiting men do 19 hours per week compared to 18 hours for married men · Less time for oneself o Large drops in leisure time for married men o Married men's leisure time more likely to be spent with spouse Advantage or disadvantage?

economic & social

Extramarital sex · Attitudes more restrictive than in the 1970s o 2008: 80% always wrong, 11% almost always wrong · Actual engagement in extramarital sex constant o Ever: 20-25% of men, 10-15% of women (underreporting?) - Gender gap diminishing · Why? o Marriages based on love and companionship o Growing __ & __ power of women (dependence; opportunity) o Technological advances --> privacy

very religious; high expectations

Gender discrepancies in Sex Partners · Possible explanations o Sex workers o Social desirability/Sexual double standard - Men more likely to count nonvaginal sex - Women enumerate; men approximate Partnerships and practices · Four classifications of virgins 1. The __ __ 2. The risk averse 3. Those with __ __ 4. Limited attractiveness Inside Sexual Relationships · Conclusions o Almost all romantic relationships are sexual in some way o Most sex happens in romantic relationships o Nonromantic sexual relationships are typically short-lived

physical pleasure; sexual double standard

Hook-ups Hooking up on college campuses · Dating is not dead...but it means something different than it once did · Gendered in four ways o __ __ o Men initiate sexual activity/dates/DTR o __ __ __ o Women more interested in relationships before/after hookup

women; exhaustion

Internet Dating · A good source of data on people's actual preferences (as opposed to what they tell you on a survey) o But selectivity: Of whom are match.com users (for examples) representative? · Issues with online dating (Ansari & Lineberg 2015) o Overwhelming attention (for __) o "Every bozo can be a stud" o __ o Most people stink at online dating o Photo driven (~90% of the action driven by photos) o Messaging strategy o Swipe apps o Efficiency

causal effects; selection effects

Marriage Matters Causal Effects vs. Selection Effects · Married people "do better" on a number of outcomes · Does marriage cause these better outcomes (i.e., __ __) or do people who would have better outcomes anyway get married and stay married (i.e., __ __)? o Positive selection into marriage: People with positive qualities are more likely to get married o Negative selection out of married: People with negative characteristics are more likely to get divorced · Even the most methodically rigorous studies often find evidence of marriage effects; not likely that all the differences are due to selection

institutional marriage x2

Meaning of marriage · __ __: a marriage in which the emphasis is on male authority, duty, and conformity to social norms o Marriage held together by clear rules and roles - Husbands head, wife submissive, children obedient - Manage farm, raise children, survive - Supported by community, church, and law - Subsistence more important than personal development · __ __ fades in early 20th century as companionship and sexual fulfillment become more important o Gives way to companionate marriage

pure relationship

Meanings of cohabitation · An alternative way of being single o Couples consider themselves single, not looking for a spouse o __ __: an intimate relationship entered into for its own sake and which lasts only as long as both partners are satisfied with it Sliding into cohabitation

declined; abortion facilities

Reasons for Abortion (Guttmacher) · Concern for/responsibility to other individuals - 74% · Cannot afford a baby now - 73% · A baby would interfere with school/employment/ability to care for dependents - 69% · Would be a single parent/having relationship problems - 48% · Has completed childbearing - 38% Abortion · Availability issues (Joffe and Weltz 2010) o # of abortion providers have __ by 11% since 1996 o 87% of US counties and 31% of metro areas have no __ __

greedy; power inequalities and abuse

Relationship problems for college women · Relationships are "__" o They get in the way of meeting people o They get in the way of schooling · Relationships marked by __ __ & __ o Boyfriends are controlling o Sometimes involve abuse o Costs of bad hookups less than costs of bad relationships - Relationships are riskier in terms of emotional risk and physical risk

sex markets x2

Sex Markets Social Organization of Sexual Partnering · Sexual behavior organized by "master-status" categories" o E.g., race/ethnicity, education, age and religion · Also, a local process o Opportunities heavily structured by local organization of social life, local population mix, and shared norms __ __ · __ __: spatially and culturally bounded arena in which searches for sex partners and a variety of exchanges of transactions are conducted · Individuals and markets are mutually constitutive (made up of each other; a collection of individuals) · Actions and strategies of the participants serve a feedback role · Individuals' behavior influenced by markets, but not determined by them

20-30; 7

Sexual Assault o About __-__% of college women have experienced some sort of unwanted sexual contact since entering college (? - representative studies lacking) o Paula England's College Social Life Survey (recall the hookup video) finds about __% of college women report having had sexual intercourse forced on them since starting college · College women (Marx et all. 2000) o 42% experience coerced or forced kissing or fondling o 23% experience vaginal or anal intercourse as a result of continuous argument or pressure o 22% experienced forced oral sex o 6% experienced attempted vaginal or anal intercourse by use of threat or some degree of force o 9% actually had anal or vaginal intercourse by use of threat or some degree of force

poor & African Americans

Sexual Behavior Teen pregnancy · Trends in adolescent sexual behavior o More common today than mid-20th century, but declined over last 20 years o Historical gender difference has disappeared o Increases in sexual activity occurred among middle class and whites but is still more common among __ & __ __ · 750,000 pregnancies among 15-19-year-old women each year o 40% end in abortion or miscarriage o 450,000 births

regret or hurt

Shadow Side of Sexual Liberation · Hurt, confusion, grief, anger and regrets that sometimes accompany sexual relationships (or their termination) often ignored · How do young adults feel about their sexual behavior/histories? · A large proportion of emerging young adults do not express __ or __ over their sexual behavior o Some ambivalence detectable among these · "Looking back to evaluate your sexual or physically intimate experiences overall, how many regrets would you say you have about those experiences? o No regrets (43%) o Few regrets (34%) o Some regrets (12%) o A lot/ very many regrets (10%)

physical attractiveness; personality characteristics

Similarities and differences between same-sex and heterosexual couples · Similar to each other on many dimensions o Same factors predict relationship quality and relationship longevity - More value on permanence, shared activities, togetherness - Lower value on separate activities and personal autonomy - Higher expressiveness - Fewer perceived alternatives to relationship - More perceived barriers to ending relationships - Higher trust in partner - Great flexibility - Egalitarian decision-making - Greater perceived social support from sources outside relationship o What is valued in a partner? - Affection - Dependability - Shared interests - Similar religious beliefs - Gay/straight men more likely to emphasize __ __ - Women, regardless of sexual orientation, more likely to emphasize __ __

high esteem

Unmarried with children · "if things are so hard for poor single mothers, why have kids in the first place?" o A badge of honor, sign of partner's love - "He wanted to have a kid with me... all those other girls he was with, he didn't want to have a baby with any of them." o Limited economic prospects give little motivation to time births like middle class o Economic stability may come too late in the life course o Offer a compelling sense of purpose and source of intimacy o Escaping difficult family life o Other reasons - Express gratitude to kind boyfriend - Seal a new romance or keep one that's getting away - "Get it out of the way" · "Why don't they just get married?" o Hold marriage in __ __ - Don't want to divorce - View financial stability as prerequisite for marriage - "White picket fence" lifestyle and "decent" wedding - Women want to be "set" themselves - Want power - Insurance - Poor men not economically stable, integrated in formal labor force until later

"calling"; call; call; calls

What "__" looked like: o Community, and especially parents, played an important role in a partner selection - Especially in upper classes o Young men receive a __ (usually from a young woman's -mother) to visit in their home o Intention was to spend time with woman, but also her family o Many rules and norms governing the __ - If parents remained with the couple on subsequent __, it was a clue that the young woman was not interested in him o Popular among middle- and upper-class woman but not feasible for lower class women - "Dating" emerges from the lower classes - Rebellious upper-class youth stole the idea

Hookup

What is a "__?" · Course definition o __: a casual physical encounter - ranging in intimacy from kissing to intercourse - that does not involve the expectation of a subsequent romantic relationship o Ambiguous meaning is useful for both women, who are often looking to downplay their number of sexual partners, and men, who are often trying to exaggerate that number

internalize; externalize

Women __ their stress & emotions & men __ it (like binge drinking)

pluralistic ignorance

Young Adult Sexual Behavior Distorted Perceptions · Information about sexual behavior is often inaccurate o College students tend to overestimate their peers' behavior - "Students' perceptions, or misperceptions, of the norms for the hookup script ultimately affect the script itself. In other words, if college students perceive a certain behavior to be normative, and they conform to that behavior, then they actually shape what becomes a norm." - Kathleen Bogle, Hooking up · __ __: the belief that one's private attitudes and judgements are different from those of others, even though one's public behavior is identical

Courtship

__ - · a publicly visible process with rules and restrictions through which young men and women find a partner to marry

companionship & togetherness

continued: o Less to do, fewer choices o "Real" college at odds with marriage naturalists, transforms naturalists to planners o No self-doubt or anxiety about commitment - Not endlessly analyzed, strategized, or fretted over - Almost unconscious act - If a relationship survives over a period of time, and you have entered the labor force and can afford your own separate household, marriage is the next logical step o Far more modest set of requirements for marriage o Building a life together more important than pursuing life goals individually - Building a life as a couple is the best way to create a genuinely mature and grown-up life - Emphasis on __ & __

marriage mentality x2

o Commitment is an ongoing effort in which romantic partners come to think of one another as us, rather than simply you and me - Commitment must be achieved by gaining intimate knowledge of one's partner, experiencing decisions and setbacks together, learning to communicate, developing a sense of mutual trust, and believing that their relationship has a kind of inevitability o Delay marriage to optimize their chances that they have selected the best partner and that their marriage will last o __ __ develops, associated with maturity - __ __ includes accepting the norm of exclusivity for martial relationship and embracing the life-altering responsibilities that the status of wife or husband demands

poor x2; educated & wealthy; increasing & stable

o In the 1960s, cohabitation concentrated among the __ and near __ - A substitute for marriage o Increased beginning in the 1970s for all classes - 59% of women cohabit by age 24 (at 2001-02 rates, growing by the year...) - 69% of marriages are preceded by cohabitation o ~ 9 million cohabiting households (and growing by the year) - 13% increase (868,000 couples) from 2009 to 2010 · Continues to be more common among less __ and less __ · 40% of cohabiting couples have children of one or both partners present · Half of nonmartial births are to cohabiting couples o 20% of all births o Accounts of much of the recent growth in nonmarital childbearing · How stable are cohabiting unions? o Median length was a little less than 2 years (in 2006-10), is __ (more __ over time)

gay men; lesbians

o Love and conflict - No differences on standardized Love and Liking scales among those in a relationship - Similar frequency of arguments (about similar topics) - Finances, affection, sex, criticism, and household tasks - Similar problem-solving styles o Differences - More egalitarian division of labor and division-making - __ __ have more frequent sex than heterosexual married couples, __ less frequent - Less stable § Fewer barriers to exit (e.g., children)? § Lack of legal recognition (until recently)? § Heightened attention to relationship quality among lesbians? § Three unique challenges

marriage planners x2

o __ __: marriage occurs only after a relationship is thoroughly tested, the partners have completed economic and educational goals, and each partner has acquired "the marriage mentality" - About 4/5 of young adults - Urban areas where financial stability occurs later in life course - Not an external schedule, but a shopping list to complete before marrying o Wedding only occurs after one has become an adult, and each partner has built lives as individuals separately - Personal growth and maturity should come before marriage o __ __ - No time for relationships and marriage - Sharing your life with someone in marriage is incompatible with pursuing personal and professional goals successfully o Talk a lot about being ready (or not) for marriage - Feeling settled, mature, and having achieved personal, educational, and career goals - Focus on work and school is incompatible with emotional labor required for committed relationships that become marriages - Marriage subordinate to individual career goals

organizational

o __ level - Clustering of homogeneous students intensifies student peer cultures, heighten motivation to party - Lack of comfortable public space for informal socializing in the residence hall - Residence hall characteristics force partying into bars, off-campus residences, and fraternities § Fraternity parties identified as particularly unsafe - most reliable and private source of alcohol for first-year students; control every aspect of parties: theme, music, transportation, admission, alcohol, movement of guests, and usually women's dress; place women insubordinate positions to men (Pimps and Hos, Playboy Mansions, etc.); rides for women there, but not back; policing door

individual

o __ level - Expectations to party - Partying as way for women to meet men - Men derive status from securing sex from high-status women - Women derive status from getting attention from high-status men

interactional x2

o __ level - How do the arrangements translate to assault? - Fun situations that shift into coercive situations - __ routines/expectations enable men to use coercive sexual strategies with little risk of consequence

European; racial-ethnic

· A testing ground for marriage o Alternative to being single can evolve into testing ground for marriage over time o Young women in strong economic position use cohabitation to learn about their partner's earning power and other characteristics · An alternative to marriage o Way of living that is similar to marriage but does not involve a legal commitment - More common in __ countries than in the US - In US, more common among disadvantaged __-__ groups

psychological;

· Also varies by marital quality o Long-term, low quality marriages detrimental by __ well-being · Marriage reduces the risk that adults will be either perpetrators or victims of crime o Single and divorced women 4-5 times more likely to be victims of violent crime in a given year than married women o Unmarried men are about 4 times more likely to be victim of violent crime o Among juvenile offenders, those who married reduced their offense rate by 2/3 compared to those who didn't marry o Most rigorous analysis finds about 35% reduction in odds of committing a crime for married men o Married men spend more time with their wives, who discourage criminal behavior, and less time with peers - who may not · Married women have lower risk of experiencing domestic violence than do cohabiting or dating women o 13% of cohabiting women experienced physical abuse over last year comparted to 4% of married women o Selection a major factor - women less likely to marry violent men o However, married men may be better integrated in the community which deters violence

social environment x2

· Antigay prejudice and discrimination o Must continually cope with the special risks of claiming a socially stigmatized identity o Historically, homosexual acts were punishable by fines, imprisonment, consignment to mental hospitals, dismissal from jobs, ostracism, etc. o Relationships tended to be brief and clandestine o Discrimination a thing of the past? - Only 40% of Americans believe gay and lesbian people are discriminated against - Gays and lesbians report differently § 80% of 15-19-year-old gay/lesbian youths in NYC reported verbal taunts - 14% reported physical attacks § 37% of gay/lesbian adults report discrimination on job - 10% report physical harassment; 22% report verbal harassment; 31% had resigned, been fired, or left because of discrimination - Public discourse o Coping may require: - Working actively for change in one's current __ __ - Changing to a different __ __ - Reattributing the cause of one's distress - Accepting the inevitability of discrimination and focusing on other meaningful areas of life

institutional; individualized

· Both transitions had economic roots o __ --> companionate rooted in industrialized and urbanization - Wage work provided independence from parents, involved more to cities o Companionate --> __ rooted in married women's labor force participation o Standard of living increases led to emphasis on personal fulfillment

women to men; marriage

· Calling vs. Dating o Changes in power, peer influence, and degrees of sexual intimacy - Power goes from __ to __ § Initiation § When and where the date would take place § How much to spend - a woman's worth - Parents less influential, peers more influential - More opportunity for sex § Necking, petting § Written into the dating script § More sex, but not a lot of "pre-marital sex" (relationship clearly on the path to __)

devalue

· Conclusions o "as long as a living arrangement is available that has become normative and offers many of the same benefits as marriage, there is no reason why marriage should occur unless expectations, economic and otherwise, are met." o Cohabiters, like poor, unmarried mothers do not __ marriage o Marriage not viewed as a way of obtaining a comfortable financial future, but only entered into once that has been obtained

integrative perspective

· Determinants of sexual identities o__ __: belief that human sexual identities are determined by both social and biological factors

help; emotional support

· Diminished social connections o Provide less assistance to and socialize less with parents, siblings, and friends o Time and energy redirected to children o Married have more money, less need for __, less reciprocity o Marriage demands intense emotional involvement that detracts from collective life - Spouses expected to be confidants and main source of __ __ § Less likely to call a sibling, parent, or friend to recount the day - Less able to spontaneously get together with friends without worrying the spouse will feel emotionally deprived - Friends less likely to "drop by' due to risk of "interrupting something" o Cultural expectation of self-sufficiency - Couples should be able to make it on their own materially and emotionally o Honeymoon developed in 19th century, couples leave all others behind - First step of communal withdrawal? - Upon return, no longer rely on relatives for jobs, education, or welfare assistance

social constructionist perspective

· Emergence of "heterosexuality" and "homosexuality" o From late 19th century until 1973, medical literature described people who participated in same-sex activity as mentally ill o Heterosexuality was normal, mentally healthy o Medical model produced the categories of "heterosexual" and "homosexual" o Two consequences of "sexual identities" - stigma and discrimination against "homosexuals" Group identity for people who previously had none · determinants of sexual identities o __ __ __: belief that human sexuality is entirely socially constructed - unclear boundaries of two-gender, heterosexually dominant model - cross-cultural; variation in sexual identities

socially approved; socially disapproved

· Emergence of sexual identities o Sexual acts vs. sexual identities - Only socially approved and socially disapproved activities § __ __: sex within marriage to procreate § __ __: all other acts § Sexual acts existed, sexual identities did not § Concept of sexual identity needs - self-consciousness; self-examination

sexually aggressive; "ask for it"; individual, interactional and organizational

· Explanations for college sexual assault (Armstrong et al. 2006) o Individual determinants approach (lacking) - Consequences of perpetrator or victim characteristics o Rape culture approach - Belief in widespread "rape myths" § Men's treatment of women normalized by idea that men are naturally __ __ § Belief that women "__ _ __" shifts blame to victims o Campus contexts as sexually dangerous - Fraternities - Bars o Rape culture PLUS specific settings in which men and women interact provide opportunity - Gender inequality at __, __, & __ levels that contribute to campus sexual assault

exploit it; self

· Explanations for college sexual assault (Armstrong et al. 2006) o Interactional level - A fun partier throws him/herself into event - Norms of civil interaction discourage displays of unhappiness or tension - Norms of partying are gendered § Women to wear revealing outfits, cede control, be grateful for hospitality, be nice/deferential/gracious § Fulfilling gendered partier role makes women vulnerable to sexual assault - Vulnerability only translates to assault if men __ _ § Many do - Getting women drunk, blocking doors, controlling transportation keeps women from leaving sexual situations - Rape culture beliefs normalize these strategies - Take advantage of women's unwillingness to make a scene - Low level forms of coercion (i.e. not guns, knives, or fists): liquor, situational manipulation, sometimes physical force - These methods are largely invisible - difficult to convince someone (including __) that a crime occurred o Resilience of party scene

specialization x2; income-pooling

· From specialization model to income-pooling model o In __ model (Becker), men looked for homemaking skills and women looked for earning potential - Based on the idea that men "specialize" in labor market work and women "specialize" in housework - Women are more "efficient" at housework and childcare § Either (1) they are better at it or (2) the gender wage gap means they are paid less - Men are efficient at earning money instead of housework or childcare - __ maximizes productivity o In __-__ model - Both spouse work for pay and pool their incomes - Both men and women place more importance on companionship and intimacy - Men place more importance than they used to on women's earning power - Men place less importance than they used to on a woman's domestic skill - Women place less importance on signs that men are good providers - Both women and men with higher incomes are more likely to marry

"Dating"

· Hard to pinpoint time of death, but by the 1920' "__" had replaced "calling" as the primary mode of interaction between young men and women o Larger social/economic forces dooming calling - Urbanization - opportunity - Higher standard of living - disposable income, automobile - Changing roles of women and men - Emergence of adolescence and young adulthood

birth control pill; feminism

· Hooking-up era o Beginning in mid-1960s o College students began socializing in groups, at parties, etc. o Reasons for emergence of hooking up era - __ __ __ - Liberalization of sex attitudes - __ - Individualism - Increasing age at first marriage - Sex ratios on campus

matches x2

· Job search theory o Both workers and employers lack knowledge necessary to achieve a perfect and instantaneous matching of workers to jobs o Job searchers have a distribution of potential job offers, but only a small number of "perfect" matches o A "costly" search must be conducted - Direct costs: transportation, postage, psychic costs - Indirect costs: earning loss while searching o Individuals do not achieve perfect match but decide on a minimally acceptable match based on minimum acceptable wage (reservation wage) - Reject offers below the reservation wage, accept offer above it o Higher reservation wage à fewer jobs à longer search à o Reservation wage dependent on value of return from a better match - Sensitive to amount of time individual is planning to work at job o Length of search depends on (1) actual number of potential __ and (2) the searcher's knowledge of and access to these potential __

younger; older

· Job search theory to marital matches o Similarities: - Imperfect knowledge, uncertainty - Costly searches (dating, psychic costs) - People set a minimum acceptance level for a match (arguably) - Length of search bound up with minimally accepted match - Length of search tied in with costs and expected benefits of searching o Differences - Is a search actually occurring? - Marital searches more complex (status, intimacy, childbearing, sex, etc.) - One and done (ideally) - Distribution of matches shifts systematically as individuals age and develop § Marriage progressively thins out the ranks of the eligible § Search efficiency reduced with age as people leave institutions with high density of potential mates (e.g., college) § Degree of uncertainty changes with age (younger the potential mate, the less certain one can be of future characteristics) § Not accepting an offer risks later match not being as desirable - supply of mates decreases with age for women but increases for men (since women typically marry older men) o Since people want to mate assortatively, the success of the search depends not only on numbers but also on the reliability of information about important characteristics of both the searcher and the potential partners o But, opposing forces at work: - Optimal time for marriage in terms of greatest number of available partners is at a __ age - Optimal time for marriage in terms of availability of information about partners is at an __ age

naturalists; planners; naturalists; planners

· Marriage __: you become an adult when you get married · Marriage __: you get married after you become an adult · Marriage __: companionate marriages · Marriage __: individualized marriages

life expectancies

· Marriage is associated with reduced rates of alcohol and substance abuse o Longitudinal research (respondents interviewed before and after marriage) confirms that young adults reduce rates of alcohol and drug use after getting married) o Marital norms about sense of responsibility, cleaning up one's act, being stable, being an adult, etc. · Married men and women have longer __ __, better health, and lower rates of injury, illness, and disability o Manage illness better o Monitor each other's health o Healthier lifestyles and diet

marriage naturalists

· Marriage naturalists and marriage planners (Kefalas et al. 2011) o Contemporary examples of "companionate" and "individualized" marriage mentalities o Study of young adults from NYC, Minneapolis/St. Paul, San Diego and rural Iowa · __ __: marriage is the "natural" outcome of a relationship that has endured for a period of time o About 1/5 young adults in sample o Transition to adulthood happens earlier in life course o "fast starters" o Marriage happens quickly and without existential crisis: move seamlessly into marriage o Overwhelming from rural site o View marriage as an inevitable outcome of a romantic relationship o Structure of opportunities in rural America makes this possible - lower housing costs, easier to acquire economic independence sooner than urban peers o Marriage is an externalized social expectation that creates a path for marriage naturalists to follow Belief in a schedule

degrading & violent; verbal or physical

· Pornography o Increasingly accepted o Usage is gendered · Pornography (Lykke and Cohen 2015) o Inexpensive/Free pornography increasingly accessible in anonymous settings that reduce stigma and make less easy to regulate o Increasingly visible, infiltrated mainstream culture § "pornographication" o Increasingly __ & __ to women § Majority of popular pornography videos include __ or __ abuse to women (Bridges et al. 2010) · Porn usage is linked to o Weakened commitment in young adult romantic relationships, more flirting with extradyadic partners, infidelity o Lower relationship quality o Higher odds of divorce o Poorer parent-child relationships o Overestimating the popularity and pleasure of less common forms of sexual behavior o Presuming sexual exclusivity is unrealistic and uncommon o Believing sexual inactivity is actually bad for one's health o Holding cynical attitudes about marriage/family · Moral incongruence (Perry 2018) o Porn use associated with depressive symptoms but only holds among men who believe it is immoral and do it anyway · Premarital sex and martial stability

heterosexual

· Relational ambiguity o No prescribed way of being a same-sex couple o Heterosexual marriage is "institutionalized" o Prescribed ways of being a husband/wife, rules to follow - E.g., monogamy, caring for aging relatives, combining assets, dividing household roles along gender lines o Must develop own ideals to follow - Often modeled on __ marriages, but there are differences

social networks; physical space, sexual culture & institutions

· Social embeddedness in markets cam o Narrow sexual choices o Push individuals to search for certain types of partners o Push individuals to follow certain sexual scripts o Push individuals to engage in certain sexual behaviors · Four interrelated social constraints structure and regulate sex markets o __ __, __ __, __ __, & __

discrimination x2

· Social network fragmentation o Unlike other minorities, children who become lesbian and gay only rarely have parents who share their sexual minority status - Even well-meaning parents cannot offer insight or socialization experiences that would buffer their child against antigay __ § In other cases, parents prepare their children for __ o Parents - often unknowingly - show subtle antigay prejudice o Gays/lesbians often remain closeted from parents o Often gays/lesbians must form "families of choice" - interconnected systems of emotional and instrumental support - Segregated social networks

information; direct/mediated; sexual scripts; direct/indirect

· Social networks o __ (from community, churches, sororities at college) o Control · Physical space o Geographic boundaries o Organizes specific sexual marketplaces - __ sexual marketplaces - __ sexual marketplaces · Sexual cultures o __ __ (Gagnon and Simon): instructional guides that help individuals understand sexuality and which sexual acts to pursue and enjoy - Purveyors of sexual scripts? · Institutions/Organizations o __ control o __ control (don't exist for sexual partners to meet - like a church - but it still can happen through this way)

3;4

· Societal acceptance of cohabitation moves through a typical progression o Stage 1: fringe, experimental, avant-garde o Stage 2: accepted as a testing ground for marriage o Stage 3: accepted as an alternative to marriage o Stage 4: becomes identical to marriage o Where is the US? - full stage _ & into stage _ · Cohabitation still distinguishable from marriage in many ways o Lower relationship satisfaction and happiness o Twice as likely to report relationships in trouble o Male cohabiters report over-benefitting in relationship more than husbands o Poorer relationships with parents o Social disapproval o Less social support o More tolerant of divorce irrespective of initial views o More like singles in terms of childbearing intentions, schooling, homeownership, employment

commitment --> emotional satisfaction

· Testosterone levels in men (?) o Married men have lower testosterone levels than never-married or divorced men - Cohabiting men similar to married men - Testosterone associated with aggression, sensation-seeking, antisocial behaviors o Two rigorous studies provide mixed evidence - One suggests marriage is causal - One suggests men with lower testosterone more likely to be married · Married men and women report more sex and more enjoyable sex than singles, less but better sex than cohabiters · Reasons for differences in sex lives among married o Easy access (compared to singles) o Relationships duration may explain difference between marrieds and cohabiters o __ --> __ __ o Practice - Developing partner-specific skills o Invest in marital sex because there are no other options

Selection effect; "selection"

· The "problem" o Marriage has decreased faster than births have - 31% of 18-19-year old's were married in 1960s - 3% of 18-19-year old's married today o Nonmarital birth ratio (proportion of births that are to unmarried women) has increased for teenagers while the birthrate (probability of having a birth) has decreased - 5/6 births to teenagers are nonmarital compared to about 1/3 in 1960 · Consequences for teen mothers o Less schooling o Lower pay o More dependent on public assistance o Less stable marriages · __ __: principal that whenever individuals' sort or "__" themselves into groups, some of the differences among the groups reflect preexisting differences among individuals o Result of having child or growing up poor?

status conscious; competitive; often exploitive

· The Dating Era o "Rating and Dating" o Dating was going to college dances, the movies, or fraternity houses for dancing/necking - Mostly among fraternity men - Freshmen not allowed to date co-eds - Women often "imported" o __-__ - Class A only wanted to date other Class A - Peer regulation o __ - a means to popularity - Lists/guides to campus men o__ __

Going Steady

· The Dating Era o "__ __" - Post WWII - Emphasis on steady relationships with one person - Economic prosperity with lower age at marriage - Heightened focus on a harmonious domestic life - Norms/Conventions § Exchange symbols of being in relationship § Steady relationships involved frequent dating § Doesn't necessarily lead to marriage

"calling"

· The dating era o A "date" included going somewhere - away from watchful eyes of parents o Dating in the traditional sense would be the dominant script for relationship formation from about the 1920s through the mid-1960s - But "dating" still exists despite several obituaries o In the 1950s and 1960s, dating was so culturally integrated that social scientists had to remind the American public that dating was a recent innovation and not traditional or universal o Some heralded dating as progress, others blamed it for problems among America's youth, all tended to agree "__" was sweeter, more innocent

income-pooling; cohabitation

· Uncertainty and marriage timing o Because marital matches depend on knowledge about present and future characteristics of partners, the timing of the transition to adult economic roles influences timing of marriage - Young people's uncertainty about what kind of work they will be engaged in during their mature adult years makes it difficult to estimate what long-run socioeconomic position accompanies any given potential match § Shift in occupational structure makes socioeconomic position more difficult to predict at early ages - Work roles are also uncertain. Will work involve traveling? Will the family have to move often because of job transfers? Does the job entail overtime, night shifts, weekend shifts? High pressure? Dangerous? § Work structures life and affects adult socialization o Uncertainty used to be about only men's socioeconomic prospects o Now, in __-__ model, uncertainty about women's socioeconomic prospects as well o With two careers, demands require adaptations to two sets of constraints imposed by employment - Feasibility of post marital socialization as a corrective matching mechanism is declining - More emphasis on premarital matching as opposed to adaptive socialization after marriage § __ as a response to this o Occupational structure has shifted such that establishment in career occurs later in life course - Women's labor force participation also allows them to set a higher standard for a minimally acceptable match

women; divorced; men

· Varies by marital quality o __ health particularly likely to suffer in low-quality marriages o Remaining in a long-term, low-quality marriage may be worse for one's overall health than getting __ · __ may benefit disproportionately from marriage because they have fewer social resources to draw on · Marriage increases mental and emotional well-being for both men and women o Socioeconomic resources o Relationship stability o Enhanced feelings of meaning and purpose o Improved sense of self

home; wages

· Why the income-pooling model has emerged o Greater acceptance of married women's work outside the __ o Stagnant __ for less-educated men · Job search theory and theorizing marriage timing (Oppenheimer 1988) o Trends and differentials in marriage timing result in part from variations in the degrees of difficulty people encounter in mating assortatively o A person's future socioeconomic characteristics are often unpredictable at a young age o Socioeconomic factors, as a source of unpredictability, should be particularly decisive in producing trends and differentials in marriage timing resulting from changes in the nature of the search process

companionate marriage

· __ __: a marriage in which the emphasis is on affection, friendship, and sexual gratification o Still a sharp division of labor - Breadwinner-homemaker o Husbands' authority diminished o Women's education important for being good conversationalists and efficient homemakers - "Home economics," "consumer science" - MRS. degree - someone going to get a degree but just want to get married - emphasis on homemaking o Meaning found in performance of social roles o Peaked in mid-20th century o Gives way to individualized marriage

sexual identity

· __ __: a set of sexual practices and attitudes that lead to the formation in a person's mind of an identity as heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual

marriage market

· __ __: an analogy to the labor market in which single individuals (or their parents) search for others who will marry them (or their children) o Searchers looking for an acceptable set of desired characteristics o Market consists of people who are actively looking for a spouse o Each person has their own preferences for what they want in a spouse (i.e., the resources their spouse will provide) o Each person has resources that they offer to others

objective; subjective

· __ causes of regret o Early childbearing o Abortion o Pregnancy scares o STDs o Unwanted sexual advances/sexual coercion/rape · __ causes of regret o Started too young o Emotional complications § Not being ready "emotionally" § Breakups § Irretrievably giving an essential part of oneself away Lack of emotional/relational component

cohabitation

· __: sharing a household by unmarried persons who have a sexual relationship

individualized marriage

·__ __: a marriage in which the emphasis is on self-development, flexible roles, and open communication o More individualistic perspective on the rewards of marriage - Individual satisfaction, not satisfaction from building a family or fulfilling social roles - Opportunity to grow as a person more central - "From role to self"