Months On End Scene

Every year?

Yeah, and this year's special because I just took all my Beatles collectables out of storage.

What?

Yeah, can you believe that?

What do you mean by obsessed?

Thank you! That's what I said.

And what did you say?

"Are you calling the people who created Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band stupid?! Are you insane?!"

Yeah.

(the end yay)

Well, Phoebe's right.

About what?

Yeah, of course.

Go into the other room and look under the bed. Tell me if you see anything.

Ben, it was just an accident.

I know, I know. You should have heard her. "I'm sorry. But you don't have to make me feel so bad. Sometimes I think you care more about your stupid Beatles than me."

Yeah, so? Buy a new CD.

No, not the album. My Yellow Submarine. The Corgi die-cast metal toy manufactured in 1968 and released with the animated movie.

Any time. "I am you, as you are me, and we are all together."

No. It's "I am he, as you are me." Not "I am you." Get out of my house.

No, the fight was about the fact that you're obsessed with a band that broke up in 1969.

1970.

Is that all?

All?! No, that's not all! John and Paul fell out of the sub, and... and I think she vacuumed them up! She'd already thrown out the garbage, so I ran down to the street, but the trash had been picked up. I've been looking all over the apartment, just in case... but nothing.

But do you really need two display cases of... I don't know what.

Aren't those great? They're arranged chronologically, so the first case has memorabilia from 1960 to '65. There's Beatle bubble bath and beach towels, hair cream, tour programs, even panty hose. Then the second case goes from '66 to 1970, so it's got a lot of Yellow Submarine stuff, like puzzles and stationary. I've even got two lunch boxes. With no rust on them at all.

Who pays that much for a toy that isn't two hundred years old?

Beatles collectors.

Oh yes, of course.

But when I got back up here and saw she was packing, I got very emotional. Really upset.

Elaine just called me. She says Phoebe's at her place crying... saying she left you.

Can you help me with something?

Uh-huh, and... "Today of all days"?

It's October ninth. John Lennon's birthday. I always like to light a candle, have some wine, and listen to Abbey Road or something. She knows what that means to me.

You paid four hundred dollars for an old toy?

It's a collectors item.

No, just dust. So... What did you argue about?

It's silly when you look at it. We fought about the Beatles.

What fell out?

John and Paul! There's a button on the side, and when you press it, a hatch opens and--

Ben-

NO! You can call me crazy, you can take Phoebe's side, but when you twist the words of the Beatles to suit your own purposes, that's when I want you out.

Ben, are you okay?

Oh, I'm glad you're here. Walter

You need a little help from your friends.

Oh, that's not fair.

No? Then how 'bout "all you need is love"?

Right. Okay, yeah, you're right. Of Course. Thank You.

John and Paul pop out.

Right. So I mean I guess I kind of lost my temper and said, "How could you do that? You've got to be more careful around my Beatles case."

No... How did the fight start?

She broke my Yellow Submarine.

How could you say that?

She lost John and Paul!

Alright, leaving that aside for a moment... she says, you care for the Beatles more than her. You call her crazy... and then what happened?

She ran out of the room crying.

Oh, right. A friend of mine had one of those when I was a kid. So... Phoebe broke it?

She was vacuuming and knocked it off its shelf. I came home and found it on the floor with some paint chipped off.

Ah... I had no idea things between you were bad.

That's just it. Things have been great. This came out of nowhere. I mean, we're having a little fight... and the next thing I know she's packing her bags and out the door. Do you see anything?

Look, I love the Beatles too, but... I mean, Phoebe just left you and all you can talk about is the Fab Four.

That's what the whole argument was about.

It's just a toy!

Toy, hell. I paid four hundred dollars for that submarine. Now it's chipped and John and Paul are gone. That drops the price to a hundred and fifty dollars at most.

Yeah, I noticed. There's Beatles' stuff all over your bedroom.

Well, I decided, this is part of who I am, you know. And what's the point in having these things if they're not out where you can enjoy them?

Please tell me you went after her.

Well, I... I wanted to. But... I had to go downstairs to check the garbage.

My point exactly!

What are you saying?

Ben... Have you been drinking?

What? No!

Are you kidding me?

Who'd want a Yellow Submarine without John and Paul?

All right, good. I hope you told her you were sorry.

Yeah, of course. I apologized over and over. And I said, "Please don't go. Today of all days."

John, Paul, George, and Ringo?

Yeah. She says I'm too obsessed with the Beatles.

Okay, shut up and listen! You think marriage is tough? You think trying to live with another person-love their good points and accept their failings-is hard? Try divorce. I know what you're going through. You get married and things are great. You and Phoebe are happy. But then you start to disagree about money or when to have kids, and suddenly everything's a problem. Everyone says marriage isn't easy, but you didn't think it would be this hard, did you? Well let me tell you... divorce... that's something that most mornings you can wake up and wonder if this'll be the day it all becomes too much, and you decide to step out the tenth floor window. So, you need to dig down in yourself and decide what it is you want in your life. And if Phoebe is something you want... then you're going to have to do some hard work. Do you know what you want?

You said Phoebe's at Elaine's?