PERDEV - LOVE

Consent

- is a key element of relationships. You should not force someone to do something that they do not agree to, and vice-versa - you should respect your own boundaries as well as other people's at the same time

Women

- rank financial resources higher - prefer older partners

Mutual respect

[7 QUALITIES OF A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP] - Respect each other's likes as well as dislikeS

Separate identities

[7 QUALITIES OF A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP] - You and your partner should be two separate people with two ... that you together both respect and maintain. If you lose yourself in a relationship, it is an unhealthy one

Personal Warmth

[DESIRABLE PERSONAL ATTRIBUTES] • People appear warm when they have a positive attitude and express liking, praise, and approval • Nonverbal behaviors such as smiling, attentiveness, and expressing emotions also contribute to perceptions of warmth

Competence

[DESIRABLE PERSONAL ATTRIBUTES] • We like people who are socially skilled, intelligent, and competent. • Most depends on the nature of the relationship (e.g., social skills for friends, knowledge for professionals) • However, being "too perfect" can be off-putting

FAMILIARITY

[FACTORS THAT LEAD TO FRIENDSHIP AND ATTRACTION] - Mere exposure is the tendency of something to be more likable after someone has been repeatedly exposed to it - Too much can lead to boredom and satiation - The more people saw a face, the more they liked it - Why does it promote liking? 1. Evolutionarily adaptive 2. Improved recognition is the first step to liking 3. More predictable 4. Assumed to be similar to self

PROXIMITY

[FACTORS THAT LEAD TO FRIENDSHIP AND ATTRACTION] - Refers to geographical nearness - Breeds liking because of availability and hostility but much more often, prompts liking - The best single predictor of whether two people will be friends is how far apart they live - Frequent interaction allows people to explore similarities and sense one another's liking - Even just the anticipation of interaction boosts liking - Sociologists long ago found that most people marry someone who lives in the same neighborhood, or works at the same company or job, or sits in the same class, or visits the same favorite place

SIMILARITY

[FACTORS THAT LEAD TO FRIENDSHIP AND ATTRACTION] - We like others who are similar to us in attitudes, interests, values, background, and personality - Those who were similar liked each other while those who were dissimilar disliked each other. - Why do people prefer this? 1. More rewarding 2. Minimizes the possibility of cognitive dissonance 3. We expect to be more successful

PHYSICAL ATTRACTIVENESS

[FACTORS THAT LEAD TO FRIENDSHIP AND ATTRACTION] - Whether we like it or not, this is a modestly good (men) to moderately good (women) predictor of how frequently a person dates - the assumption that these types of people possess other desirable traits. - These people were found to be more outgoing and self-confident because they are valued and favored. - It is not simply about how you look but rather, how people treat you and how you feel about yourself - may provide a clue to health and reproductive fitness

DESIRABLE PERSONAL ATTRIBUTES

[FACTORS THAT LEAD TO FRIENDSHIP AND ATTRACTION] - the most-liked characteristics are those related to trustworthiness, personal warmth, and competence - About 30% of breakups fit this description. - The personal qualities that initially attract us to someone can sometimes turn out to be fatal flaws to a relationship - For example: > The "fun-loving" boyfriend who is later dismissed as "immature" > The "fashionable" girlfriend who turns out to be "vain"

Infatuated Love

[KINDS OF LOVE] - "Love at first sight" by experiencing passionate arousal. These can arise quickly, and dissipate just as immediately - Crushes (whether celebrity or not) fall under this category - People with nothing but a sexual relationship with each other also manifest this category, as they are only bound by carnal desires and nothing more - Most common root of romantic love, as it is believed that intimacy develops over time. But if neither intimacy nor commitment is developed, this can fizzle over time. - Passion

Consummate Love

[KINDS OF LOVE] - A full combination of all three components, and the kind of love many of us aspire for in romantic relationships. Maintaining this kind of love is more difficult than achieving it - A goal for people who are in a relationship - These couples cannot imagine themselves happier over the long-term with anyone else - They overcome their difficulties gracefully, and each delight in the relationship with the other - Maintaining this relationship is harder than achieving it, and this is not a permanent form of love - Intimacy + Passion + Commitment

Nonlove

[KINDS OF LOVE] - Absence of all three components. Pertains to casual, everyday interactions that do not include love at all

Liking

[KINDS OF LOVE] - Feelings of friendship, such as closeness, bondedness, and warmth - Intimacy

Empty Love

[KINDS OF LOVE] - It is found in stagnant relationships that have been going on for years but have lost the physical attraction and emotional involvement they once had - A strong love may deteriorate into this - An example of this is an unhappy marriage - Commitment

Romantic Love

[KINDS OF LOVE] - Liking and being physically attracted to someone. When intense, passionate love becomes lukewarm, this triggers disillusion, especially for those who believe romantic love is essential for marriage and its continuation - Lovers who are under this category are said to not only be drawn and bonded physically but emotionally as well - One of the most common stepping stones to a married life - Intimacy + Passion

Fatuous Love

[KINDS OF LOVE] - Often manifests in whirlwind romances. Commitment is made based on passion, but the relationship isn't stable because there is no intimacy - Type of whirlwind romances that we see in our television sets - A commitment is made on the basis of passion without the stabilizing influence of intimate involvement - Passion + Commitment > they have nothing in common

Companionate Love

[KINDS OF LOVE] - Unlike the wild emotions of passionate love, this love is a deep, steady, and affectionate attachment that is just as real. This is often seen in stable, long-term marriages/relationships and can last a lifetime - Stronger than friendship because of the element of commitment - Observed in long-term marriages/relationships, where you don't exactly need passion in order to stay in love - Can also be observed among family members and close friends who have a platonic, but strong friendship - Intimacy + Commitment

Intimacy

[THREE COMPONENTS OF LOVE] - Feelings of closeness and connectedness in relationships, which include experienced happiness, high regard, and mutual understanding - This includes being: ➢ emotionally close to your partner ➢ able to let your guard down, and let him or her know how you really feel ➢ able to accept and share in your partner's feelings ➢ there when he/she wants to let their defenses down

Honesty

[7 QUALITIES OF A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP] - This goes hand-in-hand with trust. You should be ... to each other; if one is caught lying, trust is no longer there

Good communication

[7 QUALITIES OF A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP] - This is the most important aspect of a healthy relationship. You should be able to communicate your issues openly and effectively.

FRIENDSHIP

- Characterized when intimacy is present - Set of feelings one experiences without the intense feeling of passion or commitment in the romantic sense - A root for the other forms of love to manifest

culture

- PHYSICAL ATTRACTIVENESS - plays a large role in standards of attractiveness.

LOVE

- People yearn for it, live for it, die for it but... There is no single definition of it... It is difficult to measure, perplexing to study - More complex than just liking someone

matching phenomenon

- SIMILARITY - the tendency to choose similar others is called ? - when people tend to choose someone whose attractiveness roughly matches their own, but in cases when someone is less attractive, the latter often compensates with other qualities. - People tend to select as friends, and especially to marry, those who are a "good match" not only to their level of intelligence, popularity, and self-worth but also to their level of attractiveness

COMMUNICATION

- STERNBERG HAD STRESSED THE IMPORTANCE OF ... IN ANY KIND OF LOVE - "WITHOUT ... " HE WARNS, "EVEN THE GREATEST LOVE CAN DIE."

ATTRACTION

- a feeling that makes someone romantically or sexually interested in another person - a feature or quality that makes someone or something interesting or enjoyable - "Liking" something or someone

Men

- rank physical attractiveness higher - prefer younger partners

interrelationship

The ... of the three components gives rise to different kinds of love.

Support

[7 QUALITIES OF A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP] - A great partner will ... you in both good times and bad, as well as push you to be the best version of yourself that you can be

Fairness/ Equality

[7 QUALITIES OF A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP] - A great relationship consists of understanding, compromise, and balance

Trust

[7 QUALITIES OF A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP] - Jealousy is a natural feeling, but what is important is how you or your significant other react to it

Passion

[THREE COMPONENTS OF LOVE] - Feelings of romance, physical attraction, and sexual arousal in a relationship - This component is closely tied to the intimacy component - May develop immediately, and it is only after a while that intimacy develops - May draw two people into a relationship but intimacy sustains the closeness - This can also work the other way around

Commitment

[THREE COMPONENTS OF LOVE] - Offers couples a sense of being part of a team, a desire for a future together and a desire to sacrifice for each other - This consists of two aspects: 1. short term or the decision to love someone 2. long term or the decision to maintain that love