Play Script - Star Stars:The Franchise Awakens - Zap lines
But this stuff is the best! Look! It's a first-generation Sand Schooner. Near mint condition!
Are you trying to get me to buy old broken Star Stars merchandise again?
I tell you, Uncle Butt, I found some great stuff out there!
Beginning of scene 2.
Well, nice to meet you BuyBuy. My name's Zap. Welcome to Uncle Butt's Junk Reclamation Center. He's not really my uncle, by the way. We just call him that. What brings you here?
BuyBuy chirps first time.
Oh! The First Chapter? They're coming?
BuyBuy chirps fourth time.
You're being chased by a thirsty raptor?
BuyBuy chirps second time.
The worst actor? You mean that one guy from the prequels?
BuyBuy chirps third time.
Oh. Hello there. What's your name?
BuyBuy enters.
Who are you?
Chip and Quoth enter scene, BuyBuy!
This is my friend BuyBuy 88.95.
Did I hear a bot out here?
I can't believe that. It's just all so...all so...I wish...I wish...I wish this was a musical so I could sing an "I Wish" song.
Give up on Star Stars, Zap. It's never coming back.
But this stuff is so cool!
I'll give you...one sixteenth credit for the lot.
Well, not near mint, but a near miss, anyway. Or how about this? It's a Loot Blockbuster action figure in his costume from the Coldth scenes in Episode Five! A pair of Princess Laura underoos!
It's missing two wheels and a side panel.
Don't you get it? The Star Stars movies—not the prequels the first chapter forced on us—but the original movies... they're so full of...everything! Loot Blockbuster gets his father's laserblade and joins the rebels to battle the Galatic Oligarchy! Then he begins his training to use the Franch—the source of power that gives us all life—and becomes a Jenex Knight like his father. Then he learns that Drang Sturmer, the man he thought killed his father really IS his father, and—
Maybe four decades ago. One sixteenth credit
Two hundred credits! I could live like a queen! I could afford that trip to Star Stars Con! I...no, Uncle Butt. She's not for sale.
She's so marketable! I'll give you...two hundred credits for her!
...I'll take it.
Yes. I saw the movies. Back in the '80's, when everyone did. Then I forgot about them and moved on. One sixteenth credit.