U1C4L3 Resolving Conflicts

options for dealing with conflicts

- recognize a conflict early - learn to ignore some conflicts - do the unexpected: be nice an kind -provide a way out/ find a solution - don't correct: no one likes to be told they are doing something wrong - apologize

skills for dealing with conflict

-awareness of others -awareness of the distinctions between self and others -listening skills -compromise -ability to express one's own thoughts and feelings -ability to respond to the feelings of others

steps to resolve/ manage conflicts

1. Prepare yourself to deal with the conflict: take time to identify and deal with your emotions, keep voice low and calm, 2. find a mutually agreeable time and place 3. define the conflict: 4. communicate an understanding 5. brainstorm to find alternate solutions 6. agree on the most workable solution

relationship conflict

Conflicts that occur because of strong negative emotions, sterotypes, miscommunications, or repetitive negative behaviors; harassment is a relationship conflict

Builder in a conflict provides

Down to Earth and traditional -Take a bottom-line approach -Explain directions step-by-step -Let them know what is expected of them -Do not repeat unless requested to do so -Be concise and clear in your speech -Know the hierarchy of command and give it proper deference . -Look for law, order, and routine -Make sure your actions deliver results -Be prepared

EIAG

Experience, identify, analyze, generalize is a porcess you can use to understand conflict

T or F: ignoring a conflict is a sign of cowardice

FALSE

give an example of data from the book

FI you are late to drama club meeting because you though it started at 2 pm, but it actually began at 1 pm, then you might find yourself in a data conflict

T or F: leaving conflicts unresolved are great

False

example of interest

If your whole soccer team had to run an extra five miles at practice because John, a teammate of yours, was late for the 2nd time of the week.

When is it best to ignore a confict

If: - it is unlikely you will ever see the person again - the person isn't very important to you the conflict is based on rumors = the conflict is over something silly - the person is trying to make you angry to start a fight

Which conflict is this: The teacher punished the whole class after two students got into a fist fight.

interest conflict; a person thinks that the needs of another person should be taken away.

the earlier you deal with problems, the ________

lower the levels of anger, and the easier it can be to resolve the problem

Five types of conflicts

relationship, data, interest, structural, value

I messages have three parts

state your feelings describe a specific behavior state how the behavior affects you ​

effective speaking

successful verbal communication that has the desired or intended result

harassment

the act of repeated unwanted and annoying actions, including threats and demands

eithier or fallacy

the false idea that there are only two choices ; supported by words like won't shouldn't, never, always, etc.

consequences

the results or effects of an action

escalate

to cause a situation to become more intense or serious

Apologize

to express regret to another person about your actions or words

T or F a solution should be agreed upon both parties and should be fair

true

negotiate

try to reach an agreement by discussion

value

when people attempt to force their own personal beliefs or values on others.

Which conflict is this: Dwayne argues with his parents about clothes. His parents think some of his clothes look inappropriate, but Dwayne says everyone else is wearing the same style.

Value conflict bc the parents are trying to put their beliefs onto Dwayne

WHich conflict is this: Harry's two teenage sons are arguing again. One son wants Harry to give him a ride to a movie at 7pm and the other wants Harry to drive him to meet a friend at the train station at 7pm.

Structural conflcit: a conflict of who will go to their event that starts at the same time

can tone impact a conflict or it doesn't matter

Yes tone can impact a conflict. If you say something in a sarcastic tone you will make the conflict worse

Conflict

a disagreement or argument

mutual

a feeling or action experienced by two or more people

Use "I" statements instead of "You" statements because _______________

• "I" statements establish a non-blaming tone. And you focus on your feelings instead of blaming others

Example of structural conflict

if you are scheduled to begin work at your part time job at 3pm on Wednesdays, but band practice is not over until 4 pm, then you have a structural conflict

T or F: it is important to find a mutally agreeable time an place because the other person might think you are intentionally trying to embarrass him or her

True

Which conflict is this: Abby's manager yelled at her for leaving work early. Abby got permission from her boss a week ago to leave early for a doctor's appointment.

A data conflict; the manager was not informed of the situation and now he or she is causing a conflict

__________________ can be the quickest way to diffuse a fight

An apology

Which conflict is this: Tim and his older brother never got along. One day his brother calls him "zit face." Instead of laughing it off or trading insults, Tim punches his brother and knocks out a tooth.

Relationship conflict; negative emotions and name calling between the brothers

A planner in conflicts provide

a freedom of thought -Take a serious approach -Avoid silly talk and babbling -Show interest; be patient, calm, and collected . -Be a good listener and sounding board -Give ample warning before confronting them with a conflict -Supply details and allow more time for decisions -Try not to impose time constraints • -Respond in terms of causes rather than exterior effects -Be prepared for interior understanding rather than exterior caring -Show that you are competent and striving to understand the subject -Respond with new and innovative ideas ​

compromise

an agreement or a settlement of a dispute that is reached by each side getting part of what each one wants

nonverbal communication

communication using body movements, gestures, and facial expressions, have eye contact, keep arms and legs uncrossed and fists clenched

structural

conflicts that arise out of limited physical resources ( including time), authority, geographic constraints, organizational changes, or other external forces. A territorial dispute is a structural conflict

Data

conflicts that occur because people are misinformed or lack information to make good decisions

interest

conflictst that result when one party believes that in order to satisfy his or her needs, the needs of an opponent must be sacraficed. Like an "unfair situation" would be an interest conflict.

evalutating consequences

consider your goal think it through ( you dont want to blame the wrong person ) weigh the pros and cons

Verbal communication skills

don't use words like : never, always, won't, don't, unless, should, can't, shouldn't using these words close down options for a solution Use words like: maybe, perhaps, sometimes, what if, seems like, I feel, I think, I wonder ​

Relator in a conflict provides

emotions, harmony, friendly, caring, and personal -take a friendly approach, - talk in a personal way and volunteer to help out - show geniuine concern, smile, and be kind - show personal appreciation - give them opportunity to express themselves - validate their emotions and feelings -respect their feelings by not imposing your feelings on them ​

adventurer in a conflict provides

freedom of action, excitement, and fun - take a light-hearted/fun/action approach - move it; be an action-centered person -keep the discussion in the here and now -be willing to change and be flexible - show you are competitive and a winner - the more spontaneous you are, the more you will be appreciaed - have n easy-come-easy- go manner with good humor to win your points - give immediate results and feedback whenever possible -avoid theoretic explaination -create result-oriented action plans consistent with common goals

active listening

fully concentrating on waht is being said rather than just passively "hearing " the message of the speaker