BYU Writing 045 - Lesson 6 Speedback

Which of the following sentences is out of place in a story written in the third person objective point of view?

"Take it easy, pal," Weston called. "OK," Wayne called back over the roar of the highway. *"Nothing to worry about," he thought.* "Nothing to worry about," he called. "Agreed," Weston called.

Which of the following pairs of sentences could only appear in a story written in the third person multiple point of view?

"This third person multiple stuff is confusing," the student said. "What's so hard about it?" the teacher asked. *"This third person multiple stuff is confusing," the student thought. "What's so hard about it?" the teacher wondered.* "This third person multiple stuff is confusing," the student thought. "I suppose the teacher wonders what's so hard about it." "Students sometimes find this third person multiple stuff confusing," the teacher thought. "What's so hard about it?" he wondered. It's not that hard. It just takes careful work to sort it out.

Which of the following sentences is out of place in a story written in the third person objective point of view?

"You got an attitude, boy," Mrs. Greenwald said. Andrew shrugged. Meanwhile, in the principal's office, Stacy was listening to Mr. Smart tell her she was in big trouble. *"I need to get out of here," she thought.* "May I get a drink?" she asked sweetly.

Which of the following sentences is out of place in a third person limited (or assigned) point of view?

*"I feel somebody watching me," Marsha thought.* "She's such a fox," Tim thought. He put his head down again and tried to concentrate on his algebra. But it didn't work. In a moment, his eyes had drifted back to the back of Marsha's head in the seat in front of him.

Which of the following sentences is out of place in something written in the first person point of view?

Bruce said he'd better hurry home, so I watched him until he was out of sight. It was a mile to his house. *When he got there, Bruce went in and got a drink and fell on his bed.* I lay in the grass and talked to the dog. He sat still while I scratched his ears; I guess he liked it.

"Ever been there before?" I asked.

Change only a word or two.

"Where are you headed, Wilson?" I inserted.

Change only a word or two.

When that didn't seem adequate, he added, "To walk the flume."

Change this a great deal.

And here was Martin treating him like a dog..

Eliminate this sentence entirely.

And now we had to go walk the flume with him.

Eliminate this sentence entirely.

But maybe he was just bored and wanted to see how Wilson would perform on the flume.

Eliminate this sentence entirely.

But that didn't make me like him or like to be around him.

Eliminate this sentence entirely.

He hesitated, not wanting to say he had come to look for me, I figured.

Eliminate this sentence entirely.

I couldn't believe Martin had invited us to go along.

Eliminate this sentence entirely.

I thought of what my mom said about Wilson's needing friends so badly that he'd go along with anything to get them.

Eliminate this sentence entirely.

I would have let it go, because he probably made it up, anyway, and if he hadn't, so what?

Eliminate this sentence entirely.

Like a hundred times before, I felt sorry for Wilson.

Eliminate this sentence entirely.

Not that I cared, especially if it was to visit me, but I wanted to get Martin off his case a little.

Eliminate this sentence entirely.

Which of the following sentences is out of place in a third person limited (or assigned) point of view?

High above him, Arnold could see Ted clinging to the rocks. He watched as he made his way up and around a small ledge. It took some time, but Ted was always careful. Arnold hoped he could find the same route when it was his turn. Ted breathed a sigh of relief when he cleared the ledge, and let himself rest against the cold rock.

Which of the following sentences is out of place because it is "author intrusion," which is generally unacceptable in modern writing?

It was a grand day so far. *It wasn't without its problems, though, and I'd want you to know about those.* It had rained all morning, so the carnival workers couldn't get set up. Then, it turned suddenly cold. I was worried whether anybody would come.

Which of the following pairs of sentences could only appear in a story written in the third person multiple point of view?

Jillian called Allison and spent fifteen minutes talking about Bret. At the same time, Bret was on a date with Sue, the new girl in school. *Jillian could think of no one but Bret. But Bret's thoughts were clearly on Sue.* I thought I saw a flash of light off to the left. But the waves were so high, it was hard to tell. Jake made himself shoot 100 free throws every night. It was boring, but he knew it would pay off the big game next week. "Come and get it," mom called. She thought about how hard it was to get people to come to dinner.

Which of the following sentences is out of place in a third person objective point of view?

Marsha was only half awake. The room seemed terribly warm. In another second, she jerked upright. *"Something is wrong," she thought.* She jumped out of bed.

Which of the following sentences is out of place in something written in the first person point of view?

The sound of a vehicle stopped our throwing. Even before it came into sight, I recognized the growl of Pat Bailey's old truck, heading back from town. Bruce suddenly crouched down. "Oh, oh," he said. *I watched him while he thought about what his dad would do to him now.*

Which of the following pairs of sentences could only appear in a story written in the third person multiple point of view?

The sun was bright. It was a perfect day for flying. "This is a scene to remember," Henry said to himself. There was little Ricky Stanford staring up at the small plane droning overhead. With the plane on autopilot, Rudy stared out the window. Far below, he saw a house and a yard and wondered if some little boy might be looking up and thinking how exciting it would be to fly a small plane. With the plane on autopilot, Rudy stared out the window. Far below, little Ric Stanford looked up and told his mom that someday he intended to fly a small plane like the one going over now. *With the plane on autopilot, Rudy let his mind drift. Far below, little Ric Stanford looked up and thought how exciting it would be to fly a small plane like the one going over now.*

"Oh, great," Wilson exclaimed, not catching the sarcasm at all.

This sentence would need to be changed a great deal, meaning that half or more of the sentence might have to be removed because it reads thoughts and has some other big problem from the objective point of view.

"Let's go, then," Martin said.

This sentence would not need to be changed.

"No."

This sentence would not need to be changed.

"Oh," he said, "Just . . . down the road."

This sentence would not need to be changed.

"Walk the flume?" he said in his sarcastic way.

This sentence would not need to be changed.

"Why, that's a dangerous activity for such a sweet, young lad.

This sentence would not need to be changed.

But Martin picked up on it right away.

This sentence would not need to be changed.

Let him go ahead and walk it.

This sentence would not need to be changed.

Maybe we'll have to show you how it's done."

This sentence would not need to be changed.

Which of the following sentences is out of place in a third person limited (or assigned) point of view?

Willie sat on his steps wishing he'd been smarter in the way he talked to Linda. "If only I knew how to talk to girls," he thought. *Across town, Linda hung up the phone after talking to her best friend, Louise.* Willie's dog Juney tried to get his attention. But Willie was too dejected to pay any attention.

From which point of view is the story "The Birthday Party" (lesson 3) told?

first person

From which point of view is the story "The Tell-Tale Heart" (lesson 5) told?

first person

In lesson 1, find the excerpt about the two boys on a hillside throwing rocks down from a flume. Which point of view is used?

first person

In lesson 2, you read a little vignette about a boy going backpacking with his dad. The first sentence was, "One time, my dad and I went on a backpacking trip." Which point of view is used?

first person

In Lesson 1, find the story, "Difficult People." From the choices above, mark which point of view is used. The key is to determine the character with whom the story always stays. If you find a character without whom no part of the story occurs, you can identify the point of view quite easily.

third person limited

In Lesson 2, find the story, "The Monkey's Paw." Which point of view is used? The key is to see if thoughts are read, and if they belong to more than one character.

third person multiple

In the following selection, which point of view is used? Aaron knew that if he didn't hurry, he'd miss the bus. As he ran down the street, he wondered why he hadn't got out of bed when his alarm had first gone off instead of hitting the snooze button twice. Meanwhile, Mr. Walton was rounding the curve down by the shopping center and thinking that he wasn't going to wait for that Jones kid one more time.

third person multiple

In Lesson 3, find the Bible story, "The Prodigal Son." Which point of view is used? The key is to see if the story stays with only one character, then to see if thoughts are read. These observations will lead you to the correct point of view.

third person objective