Ch. 11- Managing Conflict

how do Wilmot and Hocker best describe conflict?

a felt struggle between two or more interdependent individuals over perceived incompatible differences in beliefs, values, and goals, or over differences in desires for esteem, control, and connectedness

conflict style

a patterned response or behavior that people use when approaching

what 2 dimensions does the Kilmann-Thomas model go by?

assertiveness & cooperativeness

assertiveness

attempts to satisfy one's own concerns

cooperativeness

attempts to satisfy the concerns of others

why are relational conflicts often ignored?

because it is difficult for many individuals to openly communicate that they want more recognition, control, or affiliation

societal conflict

clashes between societies and nations

interpersonal conflict

disputes that arise between individuals

do you want to avoid conflict?

no, you want to manage conflict and produce positive change

where are the meanings of messages?

not in words alone, but in individuals' interpretations of the messages in light of their relationships

what are the primary emotions connected with conflict?

lonely, sad, or disconnected

substantive conflict

occurs when individuals differ with regard to the substance of the goal itself, or what the goal should be

what happens when leaders handle conflict effectively?

problem solving increases, interpersonal relationships become stronger, and stress surrounding the conflict decreases

relational conflict

refers to the differences we feel between ourselves and others concerning how we relate to each other

relationship dimension of communication

refers to the participants' perceptions of their connection to one another

positions

represent our stand or perspective in a particular conflict

interests

represent what is behind our positions

what do Fisher and Ury suggest people in conflict do?

see themselves as working side by side, attacking the problem, not each other

intrapersonal conflict

the discord that occurs within an individual

when conflict exists in leadership situations, how is it recognized and expressed?

through communication

Fisher and Ury approach to conflict

use principled negotiation

what happens when our needs for esteem are not being fulfilled in our relationships?

we experience relational conflict because others do not see us in the way we wish to be seen

when does compromise work best?

when other conflict styles have failed or aren't suitable to resolving conflict

when does relational conflict over control issues develop?

when there is a clash between the needs for control that one person has at a given time (high or low) and the needs for control that one person has at a given time (high or low)

when are disagreements considered conflicts on the content level?

when they center on differences in... 1. beliefs and values 2. goals and ways to reach those goals

principle 4: insist on using objective criteria

will help them view their conflict with an unbiased lens

why does concentrating on interests help opposing parties to address the "real" conflict?

-addressing both interests and positions helps to make conflict negotiation more authentic -unless leaders know what truly is going on, their actions will be inappropriate and can have serious consequences

what are some advantages of accommodation?

-allows individuals to move away from the uncomfortable feelings that conflict inevitable produces -by yielding to others, individuals can lessen the frustration that conflict creates -productive when the issue is more important to one party than the other or if harmony in the relationships the most important goal

3. accommodation

-an unassertive but cooperative conflict style -requires individuals to attend very closely to the needs of others and ignore their own needs -confront problems by deferring to others -lose-win strategy -accommodator sacrifices own values and possibly a higher-quality decision in order to maintain smooth relationships -submissive style that allows others to take charge

how can you describe conflict on a relational level?

-as a personality clash -sometimes we don't get along with another person, not because of what we are talking about but because of how we are talking about it

what are some disadvantages of collaboration?

-it is the most difficult style to achieve -demands energy & hard work among participants as well as shared control -requires individuals to take time to explore they differences, identify areas of agreement, and select solutions that are mutual satisfying

why should we focus directly on the people aspect of the problem?

-because we become more aware of the personalities and idiosyncratic needs of those with whom we are in conflict -by separating people from the problem, we enable ourselves to recognize others' uniqueness -encourages us to be attentive to our relationships during conflict -allows us to nurture and strengthen our relationships rather than destroy them

1. avoidance

-both an unassertive & uncooperative conflict style -passive & ignore conflict situations rather than confront them directly -use denial & jokes as a way to detect conflict -counterproductive, often leading to stress & further conflict

4. conflict involves differences between individuals that are perceived to be incompatible

-conflict can result from differences in individuals' beliefs, values, and goals, or from differences in individuals' desires for control, status, and connectedness -each of us is unique with particular sets of interests and ideas, which is a constant breeding ground for conflict

communication plays a central role in handling conflict

-conflict is an interactive process between two or more parties that requires effective human interaction -by communicating effectively, leaders and followers can successfully resolve conflicts to bring positive results

1. conflict is a struggle

-conflict is the result of opposing forces coming together -conflict involves a clash between opposing parties

conflict regarding beliefs and values

-conflict occurs because one individuals feels that his or her beliefs are incompatible with the position taken by the other individual on the issue -when both individuals perceive the other's values as incompatible with their own, it makes conflict inevitable

principle 1: separate the people from the problem

-contend that conflicts comprise a problem factor & a people factor -the people factor needs to be separated out from the problem factor

differentiation

-describes a process that occurs in the early phase of conflict -it helps participants define the nature of the conflict and clarify their positions with regard to each other -requires that individuals explain & elaborate their own position, frequently focusing on their differences rather than their similarities

principle 3: invent options for mutual gains

-difficult to do because humans naturally see conflict a an either-or-proposition -this tendency to see conflict as a fixed choice proposition needs to be overcome by inventing new options to resolve the conflict to the satisfaction of both parties -can identify solutions that will benefit both parties by exploring where our interests overlap and dovetail

relational conflict and issues of affiliation

-each of us has a need to feel included in our relationships, to be liked, & to receive affection -if our needs for closeness are not satisfied in our relationships, we feel frustrated and experience feelings of conflict

principled negotiation

-emphasizes deciding issues on their merits rather than through competitive haggling or through excessive accommodation -shows you how to obtain your fair share decently and without having others take advantage of you

principle 2: focus on interests, not positions

-emphasizes that parties in a conflict must focus on interests and not just positions -positions are the opposing points of view in a conflict while interests refer to the relevant needs and values of the people involved -"your position is something you have decided upon. your interests are what caused you to so decide"

relational conflict and issues of control

-having control increases our feelings of potency about our actions and minimizes our feelings of helplessness -control allows us to feel competent about ourselves -when we see others as hindering us or limiting our control, interpersonal conflict often ensues

relational conflict and issues of esteem

-identified by Maslow as one of the major needs in the hierarchy of human needs -we want to feel significant, useful, and worthwhile -we desire to have an effect on our surroundings and to be worthy of their respect

2. there needs to be an element of interdependence between parties for conflict to the place

-if leaders could function entirely independently of each other and their followers, there would be no reason for conflict -but... leaders need followers, and followers need leaders, which sets up an environment in which conflict is more likely

2. competition

-individuals who are highly assertive about pursuing their own goals but uncooperative in assisting others to reach theirs -resolve a struggle by controlling or persuading others in order to achieve their own ends -win-lose conflict strategy

managing conflict

-inevitable in groups and organizations -presents a challenge and a true opportunity for every leader -a daily occurrence to all of us -mutual agreement is possible in any conflict situation, if people are willing to negotiate in authentic ways

content conflicts

-involves struggles between leaders and others who differ on issues, such as policies & procedures -e.g. debating with someone about the advantages or disadvantages of a particular rule

what are the disadvantages of compromise?

-it does not go far enough in resolving conflict and can become an easy way out -innovative solutions are sacrificed in favor of a quick resolution, and the need for harmony supersedes the need to find optimal solutions to conflict -neither side is completely satisfied

what are the advantages of differentiation?

-it helps both parties realize how they differ on the issue being considered -focuses the conflict, gives credence to both parties' interests in the issue that is in conflict, and depersonalizes the conflict -separates people from the problem

why is differentiation difficult?

-it is more likely to involve an escalation of conflict rather than a cooling off -it initially personalizes the conflict and brings out feelings and sentiments in people that they themselves are the cause of the conflict

4. compromise

-occurs halfway between competition and accommodation and involves both a degree of assertiveness and a degree of cooperativeness -"give and take" proposition -attend to the concerns as others as well as to their own needs -expedient in finding middle ground while partially satisfying the concerns of both parties

face saving

-refers to communicative attempts to establish or maintain one's self-image in response to threat -helps individuals establish how they want to be seen by others -goal is to protect one's self-image -shifts the focus of the conflict away from substantive issues and onto personal issues -"I think you are making a good point, but I see things differently"

procedural conflict

-refers to differences between individuals with regard to the approach they wish to take in attempting to reach a goal -conflict over the best means to an agreed-upon goal

fractionation

-refers to the technique of breaking down large conflicts into smaller, more manageable pieces -occurs at the early stages of the conflict resolution process -participants agree to "downsize" a large conflict into smaller conflicts & then confront just one part of the larger conflict

conflict

-struggle between people, groups, organizations, cultures, or nations -involves opposing forces, pulling in different directions -conflict is not unhealthy or relatively bad -often produces positive change

3. conflict always contains an affective element

-the "felt" part of the definition -conflict is an emotional process that involves the arousal of feelings in both parties of the conflict -when our beliefs or values are challenged, we become upset and feel it is important to defend our positions

communication

-the means that people use to express their disagreements or differences -provides the avenue by which conflicts can be successfully resolved, or worsened, producing negative results

5. collaboration

-the most preferred style of conflict -requires both assertiveness & cooperation -when both parties agree to a positive settlement to the conflict and attend fully to the other's concerns while not sacrificing or suppressing their own -conflict is not resolved until each side is reasonably satisfied and can support the solution -confronts conflict, then uses it to produce constructive outcomes

what are the advantages of competition?

-useful when quick, decisive action is needed -can generate creativity & enhance performance because it challenges participants to make their best efforts

what are some advantages of avoidance?

-when an issue is of trivial importance or when the potential damage from conflict would be too great -provides a cooling-off period to allow participants to determine how to best resolve the conflict at a later time

what are three different approaches to resolving conflict?

1. Fisher and Ury's principled negotiation 2. the communication strategies of differentiation, fractionation, and face saving 3. Kilmann-Thomas styles of approaching conflict

Kilmann and Thomas 5 styles of approaching conflict

1. avoidance 2. competition 3. accommodation 4. compromise 5. collaboration -in conflict situations, a person's individual style is usually a combination of these 5 different styles

what two levels does human communication occur?

1. content dimension 2. relationship dimension -always bound to each other

what practical communication approaches play a major role in the conflict resolution process?

1. differentiation 2. fractionation 3. face saving

what issues is relational conflict usually related to regarding incompatible differences between individuals?

1. esteem 2. control 3. affiliation

what perspectives has conflict been studied from?

1. intrapersonal conflict 2. interpersonal conflict 3. societal conflict

how is fractionation helpful?

1. it reduces the conflict by paring it down to a smaller, less complex conflict 2. it gives focus to the conflict by giving clarity & definition to their difficulties instead of trying to solve a whole host of problems at once 3. downsizing a conflict helps to reduce the emotional intensity of the dispute 4. fractionation facilitates a better working relationship between participants in the conflict

why should face saving be a concern to participants?

1. participants should try to avoid letting the discussions during conflict shift to face-threatening issues 2. during the later stages of conflict, face-saving messages can actually be used to assist participants in giving each other validation and support for how they have come across during conflict

what 4 principles does the Fisher and Ury negotiation comprise of?

1. people 2. interests 3. options 4. criteria

what forms can objective criteria take place in?

1. precedent 2. professional standards 3. what a court would decide 4. moral standards 5. tradition 6. scientific judgment

conflict regarding goals

1. procedural conflict 2. substantive conflict

conflict is...

1. struggle 2. interdependence 3. feelings 4. differences

the relationship dimension...

implicitly suggests how the content dimension should be interpreted

content dimension of communication

involves the objective, observable aspects such as money, weather, and land