Chapter 11 Exercises - QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS

Exercise 9 (pg. 213) Make these sentences more concise by eliminating needless prepositions, "to be" constructions, and nominalizations. a. In the event of system failure, your sounding of the alarm is essential. b. These are the recommendations of the chairperson of the committee. c. Our acceptance of the offer is a necessity. d. Please perform an analysis and make an evaluation of our new system. e. A need for your caution exists. f. Power surges are associated, in a causative way, with malfunctions of computers.

a. If the system fails, sound the alarm. b. The committee chairperson made these recommendations. c. We must accept the offer. d. Please analyze and evaluate our new system. e. Be careful. f. Power surges cause computer malfunctions

Exercise 4 (pg. 208) The sentences below lack proper emphasis because of inappropriate use of the active voice. Convert each to passive voice. a. Joe's company fired him. b. A power surge destroyed more than a dozen of our network routers. c. You are paying inadequate attention to worker safety. d. You are checking temperatures too infrequently. e. You did a poor job editing this report.

a. Joe has been fired. b. More than a dozen of our network routers have been destroyed by a power surge c. Inadequate attention is being given to worker safety OR Worker safety is being given inadequate attention. d. Temperatures are being checked too infrequently. e. This report was poorly edited.

Exercise 8 (pg. 212) Edit each of these wordy and vague sentences to eliminate weak verbs. a. Our disposal procedure is in conformity with federal standards. b. Please make a decision today. c. We need to have a discussion about the problem. d. I have just come to the realization that I was mistaken. e. Your conclusion is in agreement with mine.

a. Our disposal procedure conforms with federal standards. b. Please decide today. c. We need to discuss the problem. d. I have just realized that I was mistaken. e. Your conclusion agrees with mine.

Exercise 5 (pg. 208) Unscramble this overstuffed sentence by making shorter, clearer sentences. A smoke-filled room causes not only teary eyes and runny noses but also can alter people's hearing and vision, as well as creating dangerous levels of carbon monoxide, especially for people with heart and lung ailments, whose health is particularly threatened by secondhand smoke.

Besides causing teary eyes and runny noses, a smoke-filled room can alter people's vision and vision. However, one of secondhand smoke's dangers is high levels of carbon monoxide, a particular health threat to people with heart and lung ailments.

Exercise 11 (pg. 216) Combine each set of sentences below into one fluent sentence that provides the requested emphasis. a. The job offers an attractive salary. It demands long work hours. Promotions are rapid. (Combine for negative emphasis.) b. The job offers an attractive salary. It demands long work hours. Promotions are rapid. (Combine for positive emphasis.) c. Company X gave us the lowest bid. Company Y has an excellent reputation. (Combine to emphasize Company Y.) d. Superinsulated homes are energy efficient. Superinsulated homes create a danger of indoor air pollution. The toxic substances include radon gas and urea-formaldehyde. (Combine for a negative emphasis.) e. Computers cannot think for the writer. Computers eliminate many mechanical writing tasks. They speed the flow of information. (Combine to emphasize the first assertion.)

a. Although the job offers an attractive salary and rapid promotions, the hours are long. b. Although the job demands long hours, it offers an attractive salary and rapid promotions. c. Although Company X gave us the lowest bid, Company Y has an excellent reputation. d. Although superinsulated homes are energy efficient, they create a danger of indoor air pollution by toxic substances such as radon gas and urea-formaldehyde. e. Computer eliminate many mechanical writing tasks and speed the flow of information, but they cannot think for the writer.

Exercise 15 (pg. 222) Edit these sentences to make them more precise and informative. a. Anaerobic fermentation is used in this report. b. Your crew damaged a piece of office equipment. c. His performance was admirable. d. This thing bothers me.

a. Anaerobic fermentation is discussed in the weekly company report. b. Your moving crew shattered the glass in the copier. c. His ballet performance displayed beauty, grace, and professionalism. d. The tag on the inside of my shirt is irritating the skin on the back of my neck.

Exercise 1 (pg. 204) Edit each sentence below to eliminate ambiguities in pronoun reference or to clarify ambiguous modifiers a. Janice dislikes working with Claire because she's impatient. b. Bill told Fred that he was mistaken. c. Only use this phone in a red alert. d. Just place the dishes back in the cabinets after 8 p.m.

a. Because Janice is impatient, she dislikes working with Claire OR Because Claire is impatient, Janice dislikes working with her b. Bill claimed Fred was mistaken OR Bill admitted to Fred he was mistaken c. Use only this phone in a red alert OR Use this phone in a red alert only d. Place just the dishes back in the cabinets after 8 p.m. OR Place the dishes in the cabinets just after 8 p.m. OR Place the dishes just in the cabinets after 8 p.m.

Exercise 2 (pg. 205) Edit to unstack modifying nouns or to rearrange word order for coherence and emphasis a. Develop online editing system documentation. b. I recommend these management performance improvement incentives. c. Our profits have doubled since we automated our assembly line. d. Education enables us to recognize excellence and to achieve it. e. In all writing, revision is required. f. Sarah's job involves fault analysis systems troubleshooting handbook preparation.

a. Develop documentation for our online editing system. b. I recommend these incentives for improving management performance. c. Since we automated our assembly line, our profits have doubled OR Automating our assembly line has doubled our profits. d. Education enables us to recognize and achieve excellence. e. All writing requires revision. f. Sarah prepares handbooks for troubleshooting fault analysis systems

Exercise 12 (pg. 219) Edit these sentences for straightforward and familiar language. a. May you find luck and success in all endeavors. b. I suggest you reduce the number of cigarettes you consume. c. Within the copier, a magnetic reed switch is utilized as a mode of replacement for the conventional microswitches that were in use on previous models. d. A good writer is cognizant of how to utilize grammar in a correct fashion. e. I wish to upgrade my present employment situation.

a. Good luck. b. Smoke fewer cigarettes. c. Within the copier, a magnetic red switch replaces the microswitches in previous models d. A good writer knows grammar e. I want a better job

Exercise 6 (pg. 210) Make these sentences more concise by eliminating wordy phrases, redundancy, and needless repetition. a. I have admiration for Professor Jones. b. Due to the fact that we made the lowest bid, we won the contract. c. On previous occasions we have worked together. d. We have completely eliminated the bugs from this program. e. This report is the most informative report on the project. f. This offer is the most attractive offer I've received.

a. I admire Professor Jones b. We won the contract because we made the lowest bid OR Because we made the lowest bid, we won the contract. c. We have worked together. d. We have eliminated bugs from this program. e. This is the most informative report on the project. f. This is the more attractive offer I've received.

Exercise 17 (pg. 226) These sentences have too few "I" or "We" constructions or too many passive constructions. Adjust the tone. a. Payment will be made as soon as an itemized bill is received. b. You will be notified. c. Your help is appreciated. d. Our reply to your bid will be sent next week. e. Your request will be given consideration. f. This writer would like to be considered for your opening.

a. I will pay you as soon as I receive the itemized bill. b. I will notify you. c. We appreciate your help. d. We will reply to your bid next week. e. I will consider your request. f. Consider this writer for your opening.

Exercise 14 (pg. 221) Edit these sentences to eliminate euphemism, overstatement, or unsupported generalizations. a. I finally must admit that I am an abuser of intoxicating beverages. b. I was less than candid. c. This employee is poorly motivated. d. Most entry-level jobs are boring and dehumanizing. e. Clerical jobs offer no opportunity for advancement. f. Because of your absence of candor, we can no longer offer you employment.

a. I'm an alcoholic. b. I lied. c. This employee is lazy. d. Some entry-level jobs are boring and dehumanizing. e. Some clerical jobs offer limited opportunity for advancement. f. Because of your dishonesty, you're fired.

Exercise 10 (pg. 214) Make these sentences more concise by changing negatives to positives and clearing out clutter words and needless qualifiers. a. Our design must avoid nonconformity with building codes. b. Never fail to wear protective clothing. c. We are currently in the situation of completing our investigation of all aspects of the accident. d. I appear to have misplaced the contract. e. Do not accept bids that are not signed. f. It seems as if I have just wrecked a company car.

a. Our design must conform with building codes. b. Always wear protective clothing. c. We are completing our investigation of the accident. d. I have misplaced the contract. e. Only accept signed bids. f. I have just wrecked a company car.

Exercise 7 (pg. 211) Make these sentences more concise by eliminating "there" and "it" openers and needless prefaces. a. There was severe fire damage to the reactor. b. There are several reasons why Jane left the company. c. It is essential that we act immediately. d. It has been reported by Bill that several safety violations have occurred. e. This letter is to inform you that I am pleased to accept your job offer. f. The purpose of this report is to update our research findings.

a. The reactor was severely damaged by the reactor. b. Jane left the company for several reasons. c. We must act immediately. d. Bill has reported several safety violations. e. I am pleased to accept your job offer. f. This report updates our research findings

Exercise 13 (pg. 220) Edit these sentences to eliminate useless jargon and triteness. a. To optimize your financial return, prioritize your investment goals. b. The use of this product engenders a 50 percent repeat consumer encounter. c. We'll have to swallow our pride and admit our mistake. d. Managers who make the grade are those who can take daily pressures in stride.

a. To make the most money, rank your investment goals. b. 50% of people using this product are repeat customers. c. We'll have to admit our mistake. d. Successful managers can cope with daily pressures.

Exercise 16 (pg. 226) The sentences below suffer from pretentious language, unclear expression of attitude, missing contractions, or indirect address. Adjust the tone. a. Further interviews are a necessity to our ascertaining the most viable candidate. b. All employees are hereby invited to the company picnic. c. Employees must submit travel vouchers by May 1. d. Persons taking this test should use the HELP option whenever they need it. e. I am not unappreciative of your help. f. My disapproval is far more than negligible.

a. We need more interviews to find the best candidate. b. You are invited to the company picnic. c. You must submit your travel vouchers by May 1. d. As you take this test, use the HELP option whenever you need it. e. I appreciate your help. f. I strongly disapprove.

Exercise 3 (pg. 207) Convert these passive voice sentences to concise, forceful, and direct expressions in the active voice. a. The evaluation was performed by us. b. Unless you pay me within three days, my lawyer will be contacted. c. Hard hats should be worn at all times. d. It was decided to reject your offer. e. Our test results will be sent to you as soon as verification is completed.

a. We performed the evaluation. b. I will contact my lawyer if you do not pay me within 3 days. c. Wear hard hats at all times. d. I/We decided to reject your offer OR Your offer has been rejected e. I/We will send your test results as soon as I/we verify them.

Exercise 18 (pg. 230) The sentences below suffer from negative emphasis, excessive informality, biased expressions, or offensive usage. Adjust the tone. a. If you want your workers to like you, show sensitivity to their needs. b. The union has won its struggle for a decent wage. c. The group's spokesman demanded salary increases. d. Each employee should submit his vacation preferences this week. e. While the girls played football, the men waved pom-poms to cheer them on. f. The explosion left me blind as a bat for nearly an hour. g. This dude would be an excellent employee if only he could learn to chill out. h. No way am I going to approve this dog of a proposal.

a. Your sensitivity to your workers' needs will improve their attitudes. b. The union has won an age increase. c. The group's spokesperson demanded salary increases. d. Each employee should submit their vacation preferences this week. e. While the women played football, the men waved pom-poms to cheer them on. f. The explosions left me totally blind for nearly an hour. g. He would be an excellent employee if he could learn to relax. h. I won't approve this unsatisfactory proposal.