Chapter 15- Separation and Divorce

co-parenting

(rare to have both joint legal and physical custody)--parents share legal and physical custody of their children equally.

custodial

51% of ________ parents have legal court agreement for child support

more

A parent is _______ likely to receive full child support payments if she or he has at least a college degree, has divorced (rather than breaking up outside of marriage), and the noncustodial parent has current contact with the children, and is over 40 years of age.

remarry

Among all divorced and widowed adults—54% of women and 31% of men said that did not want to ___________

82%

Because mothers get sole custody in ______ of cases, most court-ordered child support is paid by fathers.

remarriage

Divorced women with financial problems may find the surest route out of poverty is __________—this doesn't mean that they are "gold digging"

step family

Household in which two adults who are biological or adoptive parents (heterosexual, gay, or lesbian) with a child from a previous relationship marry or cohabit

visitation

If fathers can't pay, then they may avoid ______

permanent separation

If religion does not allow divorce, it can be a more permanent arrangement.

83%

In 2011, _____of mothers who received child support also had visitation arrangements with the child's father.

more

In general, the wealthier a divorced man is, the ______ likely he is to remarry.

co-parental divorce

Involves agreements about legal responsibility for financial support of the children, their day to daycare, and who will spend what time with the kids.

community divorce

Kids may continue to see both sets of grandparents (although this can be a problem sometimes), but oftentimes relationships with the in-laws end.

financially

Men in the marriage market tend to be _________ better off than women, so they are able to attract new partners.

less; fewer benefits

More educated women, ______likely to remarry. and why?

43%; 46%

Over a lifetime between ______ to ______ of marriages end in divorce.

highest; lowest

Overall, whites have the _________remarriage rates; Asian-Americans have the ______remarriage rates.

12%; 3%

Remarriage is still common: ____ of all married people are in second marriage and ___are in third (or plus) marriage.

men

Remarriage rates are higher for both sexes age 50 and older, but higher for _______.

greater; Dealing with problems of divorce. Dealing with same relationship problems that led to first divorce. Presence of children from previous marriages.

Slightly ________ satisfaction reported in first marriages compared with second marriages. Why?

middle

Sometimes _________class fathers withhold child support because they don't agree with visitation or believe the child support amount is unfair.

33; 36

The average age of a first remarriage in the U.S. is _____for women and _____ for men.

co-parenting

This is not a legal type of custody, but courts often require a _______________ plan be filed with the court as part of the divorce process.

4 years

Time between marriages short: median of _________ between divorce and second marriage.

1980s

We didn't start enforcing child support until the ______ (influenced by the women's movement which drew attention to children living in poverty while father's standard of living increased after divorce).

-Parents can reassure the children that they are loved and supported by both parents. -Parents should talk about their feelings (unhappiness, anger), without blaming the other parent, so sets the stage will be set for open communication. -They should emphasize that the children are not responsible for the problems. -They should reassure the children that they will continue to see extended family. -They should maintain an ongoing relationship with the children. -They should encourage children to talk about their feelings and experiences freely with many people in their lives (e.g. grandparents, coaches, teachers, etc).

What can parents do to lessen negative effects of divorce?

young age

Women who married first time at ____________, have low educational and market skills, and wants kids may be attractive to older men who want a traditional wife.

6%

____ percent of couples never make the divorce official

U.S.

______ has highest remarriage rate in the world.

30%; 30%

______ of all custodial parents receive less than they are supposed to; _______ receive nothing

60%

______ of remarriages end in divorce compared with 45% of first marriages.

men

_______ with few financial resources and lower levels of education are the least likely to remarry.

10%

________ of all married U.S. couples who have been seperated have gotten back together

long-term

________ separations are most likely among those who don't have a high school degree, have low income, are not employed, and/or have one or more out-of-wedlock children

40%

______of American children experience a parental divorce before reaching adulthood.

trial separation

an overly-stressed couple can try living apart.

emotional divorce

begins long before any legal steps are taken. One or both partners may feel disillusioned or unhappy in the marriage. The couple may share the house and the rearing of the children but may not be emotionally sharing a life.

joint legal custody

both parents share decision making on education, healthcare, and religious training.

57% of women with household incomes less than $50,000 were divorced compared with 23% of those with incomes $75,000 and higher.

can money buy happiness?

premarital cohabitation

couples who live together before marriage have a higher divorce rate than those who don't.

joint physical custody

court specifies how much time the child will spend in each parent's home.

how can parents make informal and non-cash payments?

diapers, food, clothes, and other expenses

lower

have divorce rates been higher or lower today since the 1970s?

decreasing

have divorce rates been increasing or decreasing throughout the 21st century?

-Couples are of same faith -Attend religious services together regularly -Share same gender role ideologies -More potential conflict about gender roles at home and how much money or time should go to the religious congregation, pressure for other partner to attend services.

how can religious beliefs decrease the chances of divorce?

-Partners belong to different faiths -One spouse attends services more than the other -One spouse is more religiously conservative

how can religious beliefs increase the chances of divorce?

arguments and conflicts are major reasons for divorce for both sexes. 42% of women but only 9% of men said that domestic violence was a major reason for divorce.

how does abuse predict divorce?

communication problems derail many marriages (complaining, criticizing, blaming, withdrawing). Couples who stay together listen to each other respectfully even when they disagree. It's not necessarily what they say as much as how they say it.

how does communication problems predict divorce?

-divorce decreases physical well-being -the health of never married people are much better than those that are divorced -those who spent more years divorced reported about 20% more chronic health problems such as heart disease, diabetes, and cancer, as well as mobility problems such as difficulty climbing stairs and even walking one block.

how does divorce affect a persons a physical well-being?

-the psychic divorce may continue for many years. Even when both partners know that their marriage cannot be salvaged, they are often ambivalent about getting divorced -Quality of relationship: if partners are in a terrible, abusive relationship marked by loads of stress, then the psychological effects may not be so negative compared to those who are just dissatisfied with their marriages. -Children: those with young children report more negative psychological effects, especially for women. No children? Significantly fewer negative psychological effects after divorce. -Poor physical and psychological health <--> divorce? Divorce doesn't cause poorer health, but it is associated with poorer health. It may be that those with problems (e.g. alcohol abuse, depression, etc.) are more likely to get divorced.

how does divorce affect a persons emotinal and psychological well-being?

Custody is a court-mandated ruling as to which divorced parent will have the primary responsibility for the welfare and upbringing of the children. Most child-custody cases are settled out of court because they are not contested.

how does divorce affect child custody?

-It is always stressful for adults, but for children it is often a defining event in their lives. Children are often hurt in every way by their parent's divorce. -Children may experience lower academic achievement, behavioral problems, a lower self-concept, and some long term health problems.

how does divorce affect children?

-Generally, marriage increases wealth while divorce decreases it. -Married couples accumulate more wealth than single people for a variety of reasons (one household to maintain, two incomes, save and invest more, work harder to accumulate money for kids' college, larger home, etc.). Gender: -problem is that women put caretaking role first in the family and husbands put breadwinning role first in the family. This leaves women in a vulnerable place when divorce occurs. -Financial status of mothers decreases while the financial status of fathers often increases (this is because in 82% of divorces, kids live with mother) and the child support, when paid, is not enough to offset the real cost of raising children.

how does divorce cause economic and financial changes?

most children live with mother and her economic situation deteriorates considerably after divorce. The greater the economic and relationship stability (not having several cohabiting relationships or remarriage that results in divorces), the better for the child's long term well-being.

how does economic hardship regarding a divorce affect children?

stronger predictor of divorce that disagreements about household tasks, spending time together, sex or the in-laws.

how does financial problems and disagreements predict divorce?

cheating is a major reason for divorce. Even when the cheater is sorry, the relationship has a difficult time surviving.

how does infidelity predict divorce?

Parental problems that are associated with divorce are also associated with poor child outcomes after divorce. In other words, those parents with poorer parenting skills, economic problems, and high levels of parental conflict are more likely to get divorced.

how does parental problems before divorce affect children?

19% of women and 14% of men who had premarital doubts were divorced 4 years later.

how does premarital doubts contribute to divorce?

It is not the divorce, per se, but the quality of parenting after the divorce that affects kids. If the noncustodial parent doesn't take an active part in the child's life after divorce, then the child suffers. If the custodial parent is not dealing with the stress of the divorce well, then this is passed down to the child. Often, the parent is adjusting to new single life and not attending to their children as they did in the past.

how does quality of parenting regarding a divorce affect children?

americans' acceptance of divorce has grown. some social scientists say that americans are increasingly emphasizing individual happiness over family commitment. television programs such as divorce court reinforce the idea that divorce is a normal and everyday occurrence.

how is cultural values a reason for divorce?

since ancient times

how long has divorce been around?

80%

in california, _____ of divorcing couples handle their own divorces to avoid the high lawyer fees

increasing

is the divorce rate for those over 50 increasing or decreasing since the 1990s?

serial cohabitation

living with a series of different people is associated with the highest rates of divorce

sole custody

one parent has sole responsibility for raising the children.

split custody

some kids go with one parent while the others go with other parent; children may choose which parent they want to live with.

joint custody

the children divide their time between their parents, who share in the decision making. Also called dual-residence custody.

early separation

the couple is feeling ambivalent about leaving the marriage. The couple is usually discussing both serious and mundane questions. Couples must also confront economic issues such as paying bills, especially women since they typically earn less than men.

legal separation

the couple legally splits through the court system

economic divorce

the couple may argue about what bills each will be responsible for. For example, the kids need braces, a French horn, college tuition—Who is going to pay for it?

psychic divorce

the couple separate from each other emotionally and establish separate lives. One or both spouses may undergo a period of mourning. Some never complete this stage because they cannot let go of the pain, anger, and resentment toward the spouse.

legal divorce

the formal dissolution of a marriage. During this stage, couples reach agreements on issues like custody of children and an economic dissolution of assets. Some issues may include alimony and child support. One partner may try to extend the marriage by contesting and stalling.

mid-separation

the harsh realities of everyday living apart set in. The pressures of maintaining two households and meeting the needs of the children mount and the stress increases. The couple may actually reconcile for a short time, but it usually doesn't last.

pre-separation

the partners may fantasize about what it would be like to live apart, weighing the costs of separation versus the costs of staying in an unhappy marriage. They may be presenting themselves as a happy couple to friends and family when the reality is very different.

late separation

the partners must learn how to survive as singles again in both work and play. Both spouses must also deal with mutual friends and with family who may disapprove of the separation. Partners may make new friends and experience personal growth. Children must be helped to deal with their feelings (anxiety, anger, sadness).

social inegration

the social bonds that people have with others and with the community at large.

persistance, dependability, and responsbility increase the likelihood of having a stable marriage

what are some characteristics for completing a degree?

-Face the same issues and problems of other-sex stepfamilies. -May face greater stigmatization, often called triple stigmatization: o Families denounced because of disapproval on "moral" or religious grounds o Viewed as deficient since there is not a "male" and "female" adult role model. o Custody of children born in heterosexual relationships is not as easy nor accepted. -Little research yet: We do know, however that gay and lesbians more egalitarian in division of household labor than hetero couples, which also influences roles of stepparents in same sex stepfamilies.

what are some characteristics of gay/lesbian stepfamilies?

1. The structure of stepfamilies is complex. 2. A stepfamily must cope with unique tasks. 3. Stepfamilies often experience more stress and conflict than nuclear families. 4. Stepfamily integration typically takes years rather than months. 5. Important relationships may be cut off or end abruptly and others may spring up overnight. 6. There are continuous transitions and adjustments rather than stability. 7. Stepfamilies are less cohesive than nuclear or single-parent households. 8. Stepfamilies need great flexibility in their everyday behavior. 9. Stepfamily members often have unrealistic expectations. 10. There is no shared family history. 11. There may be many loyalty conflicts. 12. Stepfamily roles are often ambiguous.

what are some characteristics of stepfamilies?

-parental divorce -age at marriage -premarital pregnancy and childbearing -premartial cohabitation -prescence of children -gender -race and ethnicity -social class -religion -similarity between spouses -marital duration

what are some demographic variables for divorce?

-there is no recent national data -the rate may be much higher than 6 percent -many people file the papers in court and assume they're divorced

what are some factors of couples who separate but don't get divorced?

-data on reconciliation is practically nonexistent - black women were almost twice as likely as white women to reconcile -women seperating after age 23 were substantially more likely to reconcile than younger women

what are some factors of reconciliation?

-extramarital affairs -violence -substance abuse -conflict over money -disagreements about raising children -lack of communication -irritating personality characteristics (critical, nagging, moody) -annoying habits (smoking, belching, etc.) -not being at home enough -growing apart

what are some interpersonal reasons for divorce?

-divorce laws -religious insititutions -the economy and women's employment -military service -cultural values and social integration -technology

what are some macro level reasons for divorce?

-Both adults take co-parenting seriously -Parents are always civil with each other -Ex-spouses maintain good communication with their children and each other -If children are comfortable staying in both parents' homes or can spend a lot of time with their non-resident parent, if parent's relocation does not disrupt the children everyday life (new school, new friends). -If parents support children financially throughout high school and while they are in college -Less parental fighting can cause less stress for children. -Earlier parental separation is better for children in the long run than in growing up in an intact family where there is continuous conflict.

what are some positive outcomes of divorce for children?

1. macro-level or societal reasons 2. demographic variables 3. micro-level or interpersonal reasons

what are the 3 reasons for why people divorce?

1. pre-separation 2. early separation 3. mid-separation 4. late separation

what are the 4 phases of separation?

-Year One: During first year, things are tough and most adults express doubts about divorce and are angry. -Year Two: By 2 years, problems decrease. -Year Ten: By 10 years, most people have built a satisfying new life. -Both sexes report gains after divorce: But women report more emotional psychological gains than men. -Women report: Being more competent, better adjusted, more fulfilled, and more freedom. -Men report: being able to spend more money on themselves, more leisure time, dating numerous people.

what are the benefits of divorce for adults?

-couples who marry are more likely to divorce. -lesbians were more than twice as likely to divorce as gay men. the divorce rates of same-sex couples were higher than those of opposite sex couples because same sex couples get less support from the community

what are the factors of divorce for same sex couples in the Norway?

we know little about same-sex divorce in the U.S. because laws allowing same-sex marriage are recent.

what are the factors of divorce for same sex couples in the U.S.?

young age at first and second marriage, too quickly remarry, see divorce as a solution for marital dissatisfaction (as opposed to working on relationship), having a child between marriages, boundary maintenance (ex-spouses and ex-in-laws).

what are the risk factors of remarrying?

1. Develop realistic expectations. 2. Let children mourn their losses. 3. The adults forge a strong couple relationship. 4. The step-parenting role proceeds slowly. When there are young children, the stepparent should take a discipline role slowly. 5. Successful stepfamilies develop their own rituals. 6. Work out satisfactory arrangements between the children's households.

what are the six characteristics are common to remarried families in which children and adults experience warm interpersonal relationships and satisfaction with their lives?

trial, permanent, and legal

what are the three different types of separations?

beginning phase- spouses feel disappointed in each other but hope that the marriage will improve. middle phase- their feelings of hurt and anger increase as efforts to correct the situation seem successful. the partner who is less happy begins evaluating the rewards and costs of leaving the marriage ending phase- one of the partners stops caring and detaches emotionally from the other. Apathy and indifference replace loving, intimate feelings.

what are the three phases of the emotional divorce?

The children who experience the least negative effects are those who receive support from friends, neighbors, and schools.

what helps children after a divorce?

•You are under 30 years of age (divorce and remarriage more common than for past generations) •You're non-white (except for Asians who have low remarriage rates) •Don't have a college degree (college educated people more likely to delay marriage which decreases divorce rates) •Are not affluent economically (also associated with lower divorce rates and hence remarriages)

what increases the chances of someone having step-relatives?

2 years

what is the average length for an affair?

people grow apart

why are older adults getting divorced?

-older women are more mature and more willing to make sacrifices in reuniting -they've invested more in the marriage than younger women have, especially if there are children -they may believe that marriage should be a lifelong commitment

why are older women more likely to reconcile?

studies have found that early age at marriage-- especially younger than age 18-- increases the chances of divorce. Early marriage may be one of the strongest predictors of divorce. Teen marriages are often hatened by a premarital pregnancy, another high risk factor that increases the likelihood of divorce.

why is age at marriage a reason for divorce?

Divorce laws—all states have no-fault divorce. Couples now can give incompatibility as a reason for divorce.

why is divorce laws a reason for divorce?

-women are twice as likely as men to initiate a divorce. -No matter what age, if women are economically independent, then divorce is more possible if they are in an unhappy relationship. -If women enjoy a much higher standard of living due to husband's assets or jointly held assets, then they might be more reluctant to divorce because their standard of living will decrease significantly.

why is gender a reason for divorce?

The pool of available spouses expands for men as they age, but diminishes for women as they age. Women want more freedom at this age where men may desire more caretaking.

why is it harder for older women to find a partner to remarry?

Women in the military are almost three times more likely in these wars to file for divorce compared to men in the military, even when they are married to servicemen. Independent female soldiers is against the normative model for wife (long hours, may have higher ranks, periods of separation, chances for infidelity).

why is military service a reason for divorce?

if the parents of one or both of the partners were divorced when the partners were young children there is more of a chance that the couple themselves will divorce.

why is parental divorce a reason for divorce?

-Less likely to affect those who have definite plans to marry. -Variables most likely to explain different divorce rates among cohabitants/non-cohabitants: commitment to permanent relationships, expectations and attitudes about marriage, SES status, etc.

why is premarital cohabitation a reason for divorce?

women who conceive or give birth to a child before marriage have higher divorce rates than those who don't. There may be a selection process going on here, too. That those couples with better finances and SES and those with religious prohibitions against premarital births are less likely to be represented in this group.

why is premarital pregnancy and childbearing a reason for divorce?

-divorce rates vary by race and ethnicity. Race/ethnicity doesn't cause divorce but may be related to other factors associated with higher divorce rates (unemployment, underemployment, economic strains; serial cohabitation; traditional values that encourage permanent marriage no matter what, religious/cultural expectations and low birth rates. -African Americans have highest divorce rates and Asian Americans have the lowest divorce rates.

why is race and ethnicity a reason for divorce?

-low educational attainment, high unemployment rates, and poverty increase the likelihood of separation and divorce. -Those with 4 yr. college degree and above: going to college postpones marriage, with the result that college graduates are often more mature, and capable of dealing with personal crises when they marry. -Those with some college (associates degree or incomplete 4 year program): have more of a likelihood than college graduates but less of a likelihood than high school graduates to get divorces -Those with high school education or less: low educational attainment, high unemployment rates, and poverty increase the likelihood of separation of divorce.

why is social class a reason for divorce?

Lower levels of social integration are associated with higher levels of divorce because when the couple is immersed in social groups, these groups may help to support and reinforce the relationship (mutual friends, social clubs, and religious institutions). Also, playing video games, watching TV alone and engaging in other solitary activities has increased, which can affect spousal relationships negatively.

why is social integration a reason for divorce?

often leads to neglecting family or inability to caring out family role.

why is substance abuse a reason for divorce?

technological advances such as the internet have made divorce more accessible. Some online do-it-yourself divorces cost as little as $50 for all necessary court forms and documents. There are no national data, some researchers suspect that online dating that results in marriage may be especially likely to end in divorce.

why is technology a reason for divorce?

Bad economic times can cause strains on marriage, but it can also keep couples together. The economy also affects the quality of a marriage.

why is the economy a reason for divorce?

-people now have fewer children and more time to focus on their relationship as a couple, both while the children are living at home and after they move out. -couples may compare themselves to unrealistic images in films and on television and conclude that their marriage isn't as idylic as it should be.

why is unrealistic expectations a reason for divorce?