Chapter 6

true or false? the quality of friendship is not affected by other psychological predispositions.

FALSE.

what are motivations for initiating relationships?

proximity, attractiveness, responsiveness, similarity, and complementarity

androgynous

refers to persons who possess stereotypically female and male characteristics; flexibility in gender roles.

complementary relationships

relationships in which each person supplies something the other person or persons lack.

symmetrical relationships

relationships in which participants mirror each other or are highly similar.

behavioral flexibility

the ability to alter behavior to adapt to new situations and to relate in new ways when necessary; enhances communication.

similarity

the idea that our friends and loved ones are usually people who like or dislike the same things we do.

complementarity

the idea that we sometimes bond with people whose strengths are our weaknesses.

responsiveness

the idea that we tend to select our friends and loved ones from people who demonstrate positive interest in us.

proximity

the location, distance, or range between persons and things

personal idioms

unique forms of expression and language understood only by individual couples.

aggressiveness

assertion of one's rights at the expense of others and care about one's own needs but no one else's.

six-stage model of how friendship develops

1) an encounter in which individuals are polite and careful with their disclosures 2) friendly relations occur when they determine that they have mutual interests 3) introduce a personal topic or get together 4) they think of themselves as friends 5) the friends feel established in each other's lives in a stabilized friendship 6) relationship diminishes (not all reach this stage)

factors of disclosure

1) disclosure generally increases as relational intimacy increases 2) disclosure tends to be reciprocal 3) negative disclosure is directly related to the intimacy of the relationship; however, positive disclosure does not necessarily increase as the relationship becomes more intimate 4) disclosure may be avoided for a variety of reasons 5) disclosure varies across cultures 6) disclosure varies by co-cultures (females self-disclose more than males) 7) relational satisfaction and disclosure are curvilinearly related (satisfaction is lowest with no disclosure and with excessive disclosure)

three interpersonal needs that are satisfied through interaction with others:

1) the need for inclusion, or becoming involved with others 2) the need for affection, or holding fond or tender feeling toward another person 3) the need for control

attractiveness

a concept that includes physical attractiveness, how desirable a person is to work with, and how much social value" the person has for others.

three interpersonal communication areas

affectionate and supportive communication, influence, and the development of an exclusive relationship.

what are motivations for maintaining relationships?

co-cultural differences and satisfying relationships.

long-term interpersonal relationship rituals

couple-time rituals (exercising together), idiosyncratic/symbolic rituals (calling each other by a special name), daily routines and tasks, intimacy rituals, communication rituals (getting together for lunch every Friday), patterns, habits, and mannerisms, and spiritual rituals.

behaviors that reduce defensiveness

description, problem orientation, empathy, equality, provisionalism, and spontaneity

behaviors that create defensiveness

evaluation, control, neutrality, superiority, certainty, and strategy

rituals

formalized patterns of actions or words followed regularly. (ex: constantly saying "I love you")

approaching a cross-cultural relationship

have meaningful personal reaction, maintain equal status, find ways to build interdependence, and respect individual differences

what are motivations for terminating relationships?

hurtful messages, deceptive communication, aggressiveness, argumentativeness, and defensiveness.

relational deterioration

in Knapp's model, the process by which relationships disintegrate. stage 1: differentiating (emphasizing individual differences) stage 2: circumscribing (decreased interaction) stage 3: stagnating (lack of activity; awkward) stage 4: avoiding (reluctance, avoidance, hostility) stage 5: terminating (no longer seen as a pair)

relational development

in Knapp's model, the process by which relationships grow stage 1: initiating (first impressions & sizing up) stage 2: experimenting (sharing personal info) stage 3: intensifying (active participation and mutual concern) stage 4: integrating (mirroring behavior, manner, dress) stage 5: bonding (commit to each other)

relational maintenance

in Knapp's model, the process of keeping a relationship together (depicted as a jagged line)

contradictions

in dialectic theory, the idea that each person in a relationship might have two opposing desires for maintaining the relationship.

interpersonal relationships

include two or more people, involve people who are interdependent, use some consistent patterns of interaction, and require that individuals have interacted for some time.

Johari window: blind area

information that is known to others but not to you

Johari window: open area

information that is known to you and to others

Johari window: unknown area

information that is unknown to you and to others.

Johari window: hidden area

information that you know about yourself but that others do not know.

Baxter's dialectic tensions

integration/separation; stability/change; expression/privacy

hurtful messages

messages that create emotional pain or upset.

defensiveness

occurs when a person feels attacked.

deceptive communication

the practice of deliberately making somebody believe things that are not true.

bargaining

the process in which two or more parties attempt to reach an agreement on what each should give and receive in a transaction between them.

self-disclosure

the process of making intentional revelations about yourself that others would be unlikely to know and that generally constitute private, sensitive, or confidential information.

argumentativeness

the quality or state of being argumentative; synonymous with contentiousness or combativeness.

compliance-resisting

the refusal of targets of influence messages to comply with requests.

dialectic

the tension that exists between two conflicting or interacting forces, elements, or ideas.

compliance-gaining

those attempts made by a source of messages to influence a target "to perform some desired behavior that the target otherwise might not perform."