CMN 120 Final Exam

how does familiarity with a person affects your ability to detect deception (i.e. friends/family vs. acquaintances/strangers)

Familiarity affects our success of detecting deception. For example, the truth bias states that we tend to believe people we know well and believe that they won't lie to us. Therefore, the truth bias is stronger with friends and family.

Describe unrequited love, as state in the textbook

unrequited love is when one person wants to initiate or intensify a romantic relationship, but the other person (the rejector) does not.

When is a lie not a "lie" (three characteristics)

A lie is not a lie if you believe that what you are saying is true. If you honestly believe that what you're saying is true then you're not lying. If you don't intend for others to believe what you're saying, for example, if you're joking, teasing, sarcasm, etc., then it's not lying. Furthermore, you can not lie to yourself.

Why are expressive people better liars

Expressive people are better liars because their traits are already exaggerated

What are verbal power ploys, as stated in the textbook

In regard to verbal power ploys, there are verbal influence strategies, relational control moves (i.e. one up and one downs) and powerful speech that people can use as a power ploy. Verbal influence strategies are a type of verbal power ploy. Compliance gaining strategies, also known as influence strategies, can be accomplished in a variety of ways, such as direct requests, bargaining, aversive stimulation, integration, hinting, moral appeals, manipulation, withdrawal, deception, distributive communication and threats. -a direct request is an interpersonal influence strategy. Also known as the simple request, the direct request involves asking. This is the MOST COMMON strategy for both men and women and is most likely used by a person who feels powerful and supported. -a bargaining strategy involves agreeing to do something for someone if the person does something in return. This influence attempt has been called promising and the quid pro quo strategy-- for example one partner agrees to not watch football and the other agrees not to smoke so each partner is giving something up in return for a concession. When people use bargaining as a reward (prior to a persuasive request), it is known as pregiving. -aversive stimulation is a negative affective strategy. Aversive stimulation involves whining, sulking, complaining, crying or acting angry to get one's way. Aversive stimulation is the second most negative power strategy behind withdrawal -integration is a positive affect that is characterized by "kissing up" or "sucking up". In other words, integration involves using excessive kindness to get one's way. Illicit integration occurs when a person acts nice merely to gain compliance. Note, integration is persuasive only if it is seen as honest rather than manipulative. -hinting, which is an indirect request, involves implying a request without ever coming out and stating one. The effectiveness of hinting depends on the perceptiveness of the partner. -moral appeals take two forms; positive altercasting and negative altercasting. Positive moral appeals suggest that a good person would comply with the request while . a negative moral appeal suggests that only bad or immoral people would fail to comply. Both positive and negative moral appeals associate certain behaviors with a basic level of "goodness" in the receiver. -manipulation is a set of strategies used to get one's way by making the partner feel guilty, ashamed or jealous. Includes passive aggressive strategies. -withdrawal strategies involve distancing and avoidance. Withdrawal also includes passive aggression. -deception, or lying, is a compliance gaining strategy. May involve making false promises, exaggerating, etc. -distributive communication strategies, or antagonistic strategies, is when people attempt to blame, hurt, insult or berate their partner in an effort to gain compliance. These strategies are often referred to as bullying. Unfortunately, bullying strategies tend to work. -threats involve threatening or withholding resources. Another type of verbal power ploy involves relational control moves, such as one up and one down messages. -a one up message is known for being dominant and controlling. A one down message is known for being deferent or accepting. A one-across message is neutral. -A person's verbal behavior can reveal a lot about a person. Note, a pair of utterances, called a transact, can be coded as symmetrical or complementary. If one partner is always using one ups and then other is always using one downs then it is complementary. When two people repeatedly use one up moves, it is competitive symmetry. When two people repeatedly use one downs, it is called submissive symmetry. When both partners use one across messages, it is neutral symmetry. When a one up message or one down message is paired with a one across message, it is known as transition. Lastly, powerful and powerless speech can affect verbal power ploys -Several characteristics of powerful speech include when the speaker focuses mainly on themselves, dominates the conversation, redirects the conversation away from topics others are discussing, and interrupts. Men are more likely to use powerful speech. -women tend to use powerless speech which occurs when people use tag questions or hedges. Tag questions involve asking people to affirm that one is making sense or that they understand.

What is listening

Listening is the active process of making meaning out of another person's spoken message. Listening requires trying to retain the information, therefore, it is important to note that hearing is not the same as listening. Listening is an active process of creating meaning from a spoken message. It takes work to be a good listener and to pay attention-- in short, listening is an active process because one actively choses to listen. Listening also requires that we create meaning because we need to apply context, tones, etc. Remember, listening is deliberate and hearing is physiological.

What are the degrees of active listening

The three degrees of active listening are repeating, paraphrasing and reflecting. Reflecting is the most complex degree because it demonstrates that you are paying attention.

How can conflict can be harmful & beneficial to you

Conflict can be harmful in a variety of ways. Conflict can be harmful to your well-being, can lead to negative feelings, can hurt others, can lead to hiding feelings, and lastly, it can lead to further conflict, mutual hurt and resentment. Conflict may start with a fight about washing the dishes but can turn into a fight about how you treat each other. However, conflict can also be beneficial. Conflict can allow you to learn more about your partner, can force you to examine the problem, can prevent hostilities and resentment from festering (also known as "kitchen-stacking" or *"gunny sacking"*) and lastly, it can enable you to state what you each want.

What is Interpersonal Conflict?

Conflict is an expressed struggle, which means that the issue must be communicated. Conflict occurs between INTERdependent parties, which means that parties have a mutual vested interest. Conflict is about a goal that parties see as incompatible and arises over the perception of scare resources (think about Walmart on Black Friday). It is also important to note that conflict includes inferences, such as an inference in time, resources, etc. In short, conflict is when one or more people want different things!

How do constructive behaviors help people repair their relationships

Constructive behaviors help people repair their relationships. Prosocial communication focuses more on reestablishing closeness and connection rather than solving problems. Prosocial strategies include affection and assurances. Remedial strategies are attempts to correct people, restore one's positive face and repair the relationship.

Describe box 12.2 on power, status and the digital divide

Digital divide splits society into technological "haves" and "have nots". Those who make less than 30k a year and/or did not graduate high school are less likely to report using the internet. Also, more expensive and powerful phones are reserved for the more educated and to those who have higher incomes. Internet and smart phone use also more common in developed countries. Those on the unconnected side of the digital divide have less access to information and are therefore at a disadvantage.

What are the four characteristics of forgiveness

Forgiveness is a relational process that has four main characteristics; acknowledgment of harmful conduct (i.e. owning up to what happened), an extension of undeserved mercy, an emotional transformation and relationship renegotiation.

unless information is constrained, why does culture not matter in our ability to detect deception

In regards to deception, culture only matters when the hearer has limited access to what the speaker is saying (i.e. can't understand what person is saying).

What are the two areas in interpersonal communication where deception is most common

Interpersonal deception is very common because deception is a common component of politeness. Deception is a "social lubricant" because we use it to be polite and/or avoid hurting someone's feelings. Also, deception is extremely common in online communication because it is extremely easy.

What is the difference between low-stakes, middle-stakes, and high-stakes lies

Lies vary on a continuum from low-stakes to high-stakes. Low-steak lies include white lies such as saying you're busy to get out of a social commitment and falsely complementing someone. The penalties of telling white lies are personal feelings, including guilt and shame. High-stakes lies, on the other hand, include things such as fraud and perjury. For example, forging signatures, impersonating a police officer, insider trading, filing false insurance claims, etc. The penalties of high-stakes lies include legal and personal aspects, including imprisonment, fines, etc.

Describe one-up vs. one-down vs. one-across messages

Power influences communication through one-up, one-down and one-across messages. - one-up messages involve exerting dominance or gaining control. The goal of one-up communication is to win. - one-down messages reflect acceptance or submission - one-across messages seek to neutralize control and power. One across messages seek to offer an olive branch

Define power

Power is the ability to manipulate, influence or control others or events.

What are the five characteristics of power

Power is the ability to manipulate, influence or control others or events. Power is context specific. Note, there are five characteristics of power. 1.) Power is context specific which means that is some places, we have more power than others. 2.) Power is always present. 3.) power influences communication (one-up, one-down & one-across) 4.) Power can be positive or negative 5.) power and conflict influence each other

Describe some common power plays

Power plays are things people say to demonstrate power. Common power plays include "you owe me" and "you-gotta-be-kidding-me". These common power plays invalidate other's feelings and make them feel bad. There are several responses to power plays. One can acquiesce or "give in" to the power play, one can treat the power play as an isolated event, and lastly, one can try to find a mutually agreeable solution.

How do sex and gender affect power (know what the principle of least interest is)

Sex and gender affect power. The principle of least interest states that the person who is LEAST invested in the relationship is the more powerful partner because they have less to lose by leaving.

How does the distribution of power in societies vary in high-power distance vs. low-power distance cultures

The distribution of power in societies varies depending of power distance of culture. Cultures with a high-power distance have and unequal distribution of power (for example, North Korea). Cultures with a low-power distance have a more equal distribution of power (for example, the United States).

Describe how conflict behavior is affected when it's online (the disinhibition effect)

When online, the disinhibition effect states that we are more likely to engage in more conflict because you are less likely to see the other person. Conflict is often harsher online.

Describe the two overarching categories of deceptive acts and how they differ (simulation vs. dissimulation)

he two overarching categories of deceptive acts are simulation and dissimulation. 1.) Deceptive acts can be acts of simulation, which includes providing information that is simply not true. Through acts of simulation, people can lie via falsification. Falsification involves presenting false or fabricated information as if it were true (in other words, outright lying). For example, saying "I couldn't go to class today because I was sick" when actually you are perfectly fine. People can also lie through exaggeration. Exaggeration involves inflating or overstating facts. 2.) Deceptive acts can also be acts of dissimulation, which involves FAILING to convey information that we know is true. Through acts of dissimulation, people can lie through omission which involves not telling the whole truth, or leaving out important or consequential details from a story. People can also lie through equivocation. Equivocation involves giving vague or ambiguous answers to make it look like the question has been answered. Because of this, the four major types of deception are falsification, exaggeration, omission and equivocation.

Describe box 12.3 in the textbook about examples of transacts in

Box 12.3 in the textbook provides examples of transacts. Note, a pair of utterances, called a transact, can be coded as symmetrical or complementary. If one partner is always using one ups and then other is always using one downs then it is complementary. When two people repeatedly use one up moves, it is competitive symmetry. When two people repeatedly use one downs, it is called submissive symmetry. When both partners use one across messages, it is neutral symmetry. When a one up message or one down message is paired with a one across message, it is known as transition. An example of complementary transacts: A: If you don't want to go back to school it's ok (one down) B: I won't go back no matter what you say (one up) An example of competitive symmetry: A: Stop nagging me about school (one up) B: Then start looking for a better job (one up) An example of submissive symmetry: A: What should we buy mom and dad for their anniversary? (one down) B: I don't know, you decide. (one down) An example of neutral symmetry: A: They have been married 23 years (one across) B: Grandma and Grandpa had been married for over 50 years (one across) An example of transition: A: I wish you would stop talking about graduation all the time (one up) B: Hey, did you watch the news last night? (one across)

How do individualistic and low-context vs. collectivistic and high-context cultures view/approach conflict differently

Culture affects conflict. Individualistic cultures focus on individual goals while collectivist cultures focus on creating harmony. Low context cultures are explicit, direct and literal while high context cultures are subtle, indirect and want to save face.

Define deception

Deception occurs when the speaker knowingly and intentionally transmits information to create a false belief in the hearer. The speaker must deliberately know that the information is false. Examples of deception include outright lying, fibbing, misleading and exaggerating. Note, it is possible to be deceptive without saying a word. Also, deception is deception whether or not it is justifiable.

why it is so difficult to detect deception? Why are we so bad at it?

Detecting deception is difficult. The average person is only 55% accurate (and only investigators and polygraph examiners do slightly better than chance). The average person often looks for deception in the wrong clues, such as eye contact. In the end, it's easy to get away with lies.

What are Gottman's 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse

Gottman's four horsemen of the apocalypse are the signs of relationship doom and are a predictor of divorce. The four horsemen of the apocalypse are criticism, defensiveness, contempt and stonewalling. 1.) criticism involves complaining about the other and identifying spouse's behavior as problematic/defective. 2.) defensiveness involves denying responsibilities and protecting the self from a perceived attack. 3.) contempt involves insults and attacks on self-worth (such as insults, mockery and sarcasm). Note, contempt is the best predictor of divorce and Gottman calls it "the sulfuric acid of divorce". 4.) stonewalling is withdrawal from the conversation and involves providing zero feedback and avoiding eye contact. Stonewalling is the overall withdrawal from the relationship. It is important to note that studies have found that hostile behaviors, such as interrupting, criticizing and stonewalling are predictive of physiological responses, such as blood pressure, immune changes and endocrine levels. In short, negative things can happen to our body simply due to negative communication.

Describe the importance of listening effectively (and what are the three contexts)

Listening is important because it is 50% of what we do when we communicate. Our goal when listening is to listen to understand. The three contexts are at work, at school and in social and personal relationships. Goal is to listen to understand!!!

Describe why non-interactive contexts are best for detecting deception among acquaintances/strangers

Non-interactive contexts, such as voicemail and email, are best for deception detection with acquaintances/strangers. However, if people are already friends, the context doesn't matter.

Describe the balance of power in symmetrical & complementary relationships

One of the five characteristics of power is that power is always present. Because of this, power can affect relationships. Symmetrical relationships mean that both people in relationship approach power in the same way. In complementary relationships, one partner dominates or makes all the decisions

Describe the content, relational, and procedural dimensions of conflict (e.g., meta-conflict)

One of the three main characteristics of interpersonal conflict is that conflict has multiple dimensions. The three dimensions are the content dimension, relational dimensions and procedural dimension. -the content dimension refers to what you are fighting about, or the content of the argument. -the relational dimension refers to what the conflict means for the relationship -the procedural dimension refers to fighting about how you're fighting.

why does one's motivation to succeed at lying NOT help in high-stakes scenarios

Our motivation to lie does not always help us succeed at lying. The motivation impairment effect affects high-stakes lies and states that the more motivated you are to lie, the more likely you are to give away that you are lying.

Describe power and influence in families, as stated in the textbook.

Parents often have more power than their children and the parent/child relationship is one aspect of a power differential in families. -Parents can be authoritarian, permissive or authoritative. Authoritarian parents are demanding, directive and nonresponsive. Permissive parents are undemanding, nondirective and responsive. Permissive parents acts more like friend while authoritarian parent acts more like a dictator. Authoritative parents are a blend of authoritarian and permissive; these parents are demanding and directive, but also responsive. Have clear standards for how children should behave and these standards are communicated. -Two similar types of parenting; power assertion and induction. Power assertion refers to parents who believe who believe that they should have complete control and can demand compliance without explanation. The inductive philosophy to parenting believes that it is critical to provide children with reasons for their disciplinary actions. Inductive parenting strategies are more effective because they are reflection enhancing, which means they encourage children to think about their misconduct, including how their actions affect themselves and others. -The teen years are when children become significantly less dependent on their parents. This transition period, dubbed the process of separation and individuation, is when teenagers distance themselves from their parents and develop an individual identity apart from their family structure. There is often a power struggle between teen and parents at this time. Traditional vs. egalitarian marriages also affect the power structure of families. -traditional marriages are based on benevolent male dominance coupled with clearly specialized roles. Note, when women are employed, they add the career role to their traditionally held family role. In an egalitarian marriage, or a peer marriage, both spouses are employed, actively involved in parenting and share household duties and responsibilities. Egalitarian marriages are known for being a shared marriage. Also often more intimate because egalitarian couples are more likely to be friends in addition to romantic partners.

What are several reconciliation strategies

Reconciliation involves rebuilding a break up. People use a variety of reconciliation strategies including; -explanations and disclosure are the most frequently mentioned reconciliation strategy. -relationship references involves reminding partner of all the positive aspects of their former relationship -promises involves telling partner how good the future relationship will be -stage setting involves "setting the stage" before seeing each other, such as talking to partner over phone before seeing in person. Reduces uncertainty -vulnerable appeals involves telling partner how much they miss them and want to be with them again -direct requests is directly saying you want to get back together

What are common remedial strategies, as stated in lecture and the textbook

Remedial strategies are a type of constructive behavior that people use to repair relationships. Remedial strategies are attempts to correct people, restore one's positive face and repair the relationship. There are several remedial strategies that people use, including; -apologies and concessions -appeasement -explanations (including excuses and justifications) -denials -avoidance and evasion -relationship talk (including relationship invocation and meta-talk)

Describe the explanations for conflict patterns as stated in the textbook.

Some explanations for conflict patterns involve emotional flooding, attributions, communication skills deficits, being argumentative vs. aggressive, and being an effective listener. Emotional flooding occurs when people become "surprised, overwhelmed, and disorganized" by their partner's expressions of negative emotions and when this happens, people feel high levels of physiological arousal, have difficulty processing new information, rely on stereotyped thoughts/behaviors and respond with either aggression (fight) or withdrawal (flight). Thus, emotional flooding contributes to negative communication patterns that can be counterproductive to conflict resolution. Oftentimes during emotional flooding, partners say things they don't mean. When feeling hurt, it is not uncommon to engage in button pushing or making empty emotional threats. When people engage in button pushing, they purposely say/do things they know will be especially hurtful to partner. Empty threats involve suggestions to do something that the speaker does not intend to do. Another explanation for conflict patterns may be due to attributions. Attributions is when people attempt to explain the behavior of others. Research on the attribution hypothesis has shown that patterns of attributions are related to conflict escalation and lower levels of satisfaction. However, people in happy relationships tend to make relationship-enhancing attributions by attributing negative behavior to causes that are external, unstable and specific. On the other hand, people in unhappy relationships tend to attribute negative behavior to causes that are internal, stable and global. Another explanation for conflict patterns may be due to a deficit in communication skills. Some people simply do not have the skills to engage in constructive conflict Another explanation for conflict patterns may be due to argumentativeness vs. aggressiveness. An important communication skill involves being able to engage in logical argument. Argumentativeness refers to a conflict style that focuses on logical argument and reasoning. People with argumentative styles confront conflict directly by recognizing issues of disagreement, taking positions on controversial issues, backing up claims with evidence and refuting views contrary to their own. People skilled at arguing do not have to result to name calling or accusations because they can present argument in a skilled and convincing manner. Verbal aggressiveness involves attacking the other person's self concept. Engage in teasing, threatening and criticizing, etc. Being able to be an effective listener is the last skill needed for effective conflict management. Being a better listener allows listener to better understand partner. To be an effective listener, it is important to let your partner speak, put yourself in your partner's place (create mental maps of each other's thoughts), don't jump to conclusions, ask questions and paraphrase what your partner says.

why does suspicion of a person not improve our detection ability

Suspicion may not improve our lie detection ability. In fact, the Orthello Error, states that a listener's suspicion makes a truthful speaker appear to be lying even though he/she isn't. In other words, we incorrectly think that person is being deceptive.

What is the A-E-I-O-U Model

The A-E-I-O-U Model: A= Assume the other person means well E= Express your feelings. Make sure not to accuse the other person (avoid using the word "you"), and start sentences with "I feel..." I= Identify what YOU want to happen O= Outcomes are made very clear U= Understanding is achieved!

What is the HURIER model

The HURIER model explains the stages of effective listening. HURIER stands for hearing, understanding, remembering, interpreting, evaluating and responding. 1.) hearing involves physically perceiving sound and seeing images. In order to become a better "hearer", we need to turn off competing messages by utilizing social de-centering and mental bracketing, redirect eyes to the source and stop "phubbing" 2.) understanding involves comprehending what we hear and includes paying attention and seeing what they are doing. 3.) remembering involves storing ideas in memory. Mnemonics, the bizarreness effect and the sleeper effect affect remembering. 4.) Interpreting involves assigning meaning to what we've heard and can be verbal or nonverbal. Interpreting requires mentally summarizing details, linking details to main message and then looking at non verbals. Note, emotions help us interpret messages 5.) Evaluating involves judging the speaker's credibility and intention. We won't listen to someone if we don't evaluate the speaker as credible. 6.) Lastly, responding involves indicating we are listening via feedback. Important not to interrupt. But it is important to note that there are seven different responses that we can use as feedback--we can respond by stonewalling (stop listening and responding) , back-channeling (nodding in agreement), paraphrasing, empathizing, supporting, analyzing and advising.

Describe the 5 main strategies for managing conflict (i.e. competing, avoiding, accommodating, compromising, collaborating)

The five main strategies for managing conflict are competing, avoiding, accommodating, compromising and collaborating 1.) competing is win/lose or "my way". Competing is characterized by a high concern for self and low concern for others. 2.) avoiding is lose/lose or "no way". Avoiding is characterized by low concern for self and low concern for other. 3.) compromising is both win/lose or "half way". Compromising is characterized by a medium concern for self and medium concern for other, 4.) accommodating is lose/win or "your way". Accommodating is characterized by low concern for self and high concern for other! 5.) lastly, collaborating is win/win or "our way". Collaborating is the ideal strategy and is characterized by high concern for self and high concern for other.

What are the five specific ways people show forgiveness following a partner's relational transgression

The five specific ways that people show forgiveness, following a partners relational transgression, include; -explicit forgiveness (or saying "i forgive you" through clear nonverbals) -nonverbal display -minimization (it's no big deal) -discussion -conditional forgiveness

Describe the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse and their anecdotes from the textbook

The four horsemen of the apocalypse are criticism, defensiveness, contempt and stonewalling. An example of criticism would be saying, "I can't believe how much space you hog in the closet. you are rude and inconsiderate." You can respond to criticism with a complaint that focuses on a specific behavior without assigning blame, such as "I think it is important that we divide the closet evenly. I don't like when my clothes are scrunch" An example of defensiveness would be saying "if you weren't on your phone all the time maybe we could actually spend some quality time together". Can respond to defensiveness by accepting responsibility, by saying something like "you're right, I should make more of an effort to plan things for us to do together" An example of contempt is saying "I need some help! all you do is sit there watching TV while I fix dinner and tend to the kids. I worked harder than you did today. You are lazy and self absorbed." A solution to contempt would be showing respect, by saying something like "I know that you are tired after working all day and your job is really important. I would really appreciate it if you could help with dinner and then we can both relax" Lastly, an example of stonewalling is saying "Just stop talking and let me watch TV. I'm not interested in anything you have to say." A solution to stonewalling is physiological self soothing and can be done by saying something like "Let's take a break and calm down. In half an hour let's regroup and talk when we are in a better state of mind"

What are the most common sources of conflict in marriages (and what are the top 3 sources of conflicts cited in a study of marital couples)

The most common sources of conflict in marriages are money, sex, work, children and housework (like dishes, laundry, etc.). Less common, but still observable, sources of conflict include in-laws, holidays, time and communication. In a study involving marital couples, the most common arguments revolved around personal criticisms (20%), finances (13%) and household chores (9%).

Describe how feelings can become hurt in a relationship, as stated in the textbook.

The most intense hurt feelings arise when a partner's words or actions communicate devaluation. Devaluation involves feeling unappreciated and unimportant (and this can occur at the individual or relational level). Two forms of behavior that cause people to feel devalued are relational transgressions and hurtful messages. Relational transgressions occur when people violate implicit or explicit relational rules. Transgression minimizing messages and transgression maximizing messages are two ways people communicate relational transgressions with their partners. Transgression maximizing messages highlight the negative aspects of the transgression and the partner's role in causing that negativity. Transgression minimizing messages focus on downplaying the severity of the transgression by saying that the partner's actions were unintentional or justifying partner's actions by saying "it's not a big deal". Hurtful messages are when the words we use elicit psychological pain and constitute a particular type of transgression because they violate rules about how people should treat one another. The most common types of hurtful messages (box 13.1) involve evaluation, accusation, informative statements, directive, threat, expressions of desire, question, joke and deception -evaluation involves negative judgements of worth, value or quality -accusation makes charges at a person's faults or actions -informative statements are disclosure of unwanted information ("I only dated you because I was on a rebound") -directive messages are commands that go against one's desires or imply negative thoughts/feelings -threat involves a declaration of intent to inflict punishment under certain conditions -expressions of desire are statements about one's preferences or desires ("I wish you were as pretty as your sister") -question involves an inquiry that implies a negative judgement -joke involves witticism or a prank that insults partner -deception is a statement that is untrue or distorts truth There are three responses to hurtful messages; active verbal responses, acquiescent responses and invulnerable responses. -active verbal responses focus on confronting one's partner about hurtful remarks -acquiescent responses involve giving in and acknowledging the partner's ability to inflict hurt. People may cry, apologize or concede. -invulnerable responses involve avoidance of talking about the hurtful message and involves acting unaffected by the hurtful remark.

Describe the spillover effect vs. the socialization effect, as stated in the textbook

The spillover effect states that when a marital couple engages in conflict, the harmful effects can spill onto the children and negatively affect their school performance, peer interactions, etc. Research on the spillover effect suggests that these negative effects (on the children) arise because parents who engage in dysfunctional conflict are also likely to have dysfunctional parenting styles. The socialization effect is when children adopt conflict styles that are similar to their parents' conflict styles.

What are the 3 main characteristics of interpersonal conflict

The three main characteristics of interpersonal conflict are that conflict is natural, conflict has multiple dimensions and that conflict can be direct or indirect. For example, you can indirectly, through passive aggression, tell someone you are mad at them.

Describe the 3 ways sex & gender affect conflict (passive-aggression, stonewalling, demand-withdrawal)

The three ways that sex and gender affect conflict are due to passive aggression, stonewalling and demand-withdrawal. -passive aggression involves hiding aggression in innocent behaviors. Women are more likely to engage in passive aggression. -stonewalling involves withdrawing from situations -demand-withdrawal is typical in opposite sex relationships

What is the truth bias?

The truth bias is when we assume that people we know well are telling the truth.

What are the five most common types of on-again off-again dating relationships.

There are five common types of on-again off-again relationships which are habitual, mismatched, capitalized on transgression, gradual separators and controlling. -habitual on-again off-again relationships break up and get back together all the time! -mismatched on-again off-again relationships are characterized by unequal involvements of partners -capitalized on transgression on-again off-again relationships use their time apart to reflect on problems and feelings. Transition time is productive and mark a period of change and possible improvement. -gradual separators are characterized by growing a part more and more during each period of transition. -controlling is characterized by one partner consistently wanting the relationship and the other being indecisive.

What are the 5 major types of power

There are five major forms of power which are reward, coercive, referent, legitimate and expert. 1.) reward power is based on the ability to reward. For example, saying, "if you help me, I will give you $50" 2.) coercive power is based on the ability to punish 3.) referent power is based on liking, admiring and attraction. For example, "I like you so I will help you on your homework" 4.) Legitimate power is based on legitimate status or position 5.) expert power is baed on knowledge, training and experience.

What are the five types of listening (and when we should use each)

There are five types of listening. The sever different types of listening are informational listening, critical listening, empathetic listening (which involves perspective taking and empathic concern), inspirational listening and appreciative listening.

What are the three myths/misconceptions about listening (in textbook)

There are three myths/misconceptions about listening so it is important to note that 1.) Hearing is NOT the same as listenign 2.) Listening is NOT natural and effortless because it takes work to be a good listener 3.) All listeners DO NOT hear the same thing.

Describe ascribing motives vs. counter-blaming vs. spiraling negativity vs. stubbornness

There are four problematic behaviors during conflict which are ascribing motives, counter-blaming, spiraling negativity and stubbornness. 1.) ascribing motives is when you assume you know what another person is thinking or why they are behaving in a certain way. 2.) counter-blaming is when you move the focus away from yourself by blaming the other person instead. 3.) spiraling negativity is a destructive pattern in which both people trade increasingly negative and hostile remarks. Essentially, the negativity is "spiraling out of control" 4.) stubbornness is the persisting in type of behavior that is unyielding or inflexible.

What are the 4 types of interpersonal conflict

There are four types of interpersonal conflict, which are; within people (INTRApersonal) between people (INTERpersonal) within groups (INTRAgroup) between groups (INTERgroup)

What are the seven obstacles to effective listening (the definitions and differences between each), e.g., the difference btw/ pseudo-listening and glazing over

There are seven obstacles to effective listening which are noise, pseudolistening/selective attention, information overload, glazing over, rebuttal tendency, close-mindedness and competitive interrupting. 1.) noise refers to noise in the environment, such as a car horn 2.) pseudolistening or selective attention refers to pretending to listen 3.) information overload is when there is too much information that you do not know what to pat attention to 4.) glazing over means that we can't pay attention 5.) rebuttal tendency is thinking about response 6.) close-mindedness explains how sometimes we don't listen because we are close-minded 7.) competitive interrupting is when both parties are continuously interrupting and neither is listening

What conditions promote or impede forgiveness and forgiving communication

There are several conditions that promote or impede forgiveness or forgiving behavior. For example, victims are more likely to grant forgiveness and use positive communication with their partner IF the seriousness of the transgression does not prohibit forgiveness and if the relationship was of high quality prior to the transgression.

Describe jealousy, as stated in the textbook.

There are several different characteristics of jealousy. Romantic jealousy occurs when people believe that a third party threatens the existence or quality of their romantic relationship. Sexual jealousy is worrying that a rival is having or want to have sex with one's partner. Friend jealousy is feeling threatened by a partner's relationship with friends. Family jealousy is feeling threatened by the partner's relationship to family. Activity jealousy is worrying that the partner's activities (such as work and hobbies) interfere with relationship. Power jealousy is perceiving that one's power over partner is being lost and lastly, intimacy jealousy is believing that one's partner is engaging in more intimate communication with someone else. Note, jealousy is different than envy and rivalry. Envy occurs when people want something that is valuable that someone else has. There are several primary and secondary appraisals that tend to occur as jealous feelings develop. Primary appraisals involve general evaluations about the existence and quality of a rival relationship, including the degree of the threat from a third party. Secondary appraisals involve more specific evaluations of the jealousy situation, including possible causes and outcomes. In the end, people make appraisals so that they can plan coping strategies and assess outcomes. Jealous individuals also experience combinations of emotions. Other than fear and anger, people also tend to feel sadness, guilt, hurt and envy. Note, can also sometimes lead to positive emotions like increased passion, love and appreciation. There are several communicative responses to jealousy. -There are two types of constructive responses to jealousy which are integrative communication and compensatory restoration. Integrative communication is direct, nonaggressive communication that involves disclosing feelings, for example, having a calm conversation about hurtful behaviors and attempting to reach understanding so that jealousy in the future is avoided. Compensatory restoration is behavior aimed at improving the primary relationship of oneself. -There are three types of destructive responses; negative communication, counter-jealousy induction and violent communication. Negative communication includes aggressive and passive aggressive communication that reflects negativity. counter-jealousy induction involves taking actions to make the partner feel jealous too. Violent communication involves threats and/or actual violence. -the two types of avoidant responses to jealousy are silence and denial. Silence is about decreasing communication and denial is about pretending not to be jealous. -Also, there are four rival-focuses responses to jealousy which are signs of possession, derogating competitors, surveillance and rival contacts. Signs of possession involves publicly displaying the relationship so people know that the partner is taken. derogating competitors is communication designed to cast the rival in a bad light. Surveillance can take many forms, such as checking partner or rival's social media, reading text messages, etc. Finally, rival contacts occur when partner talks directly to the rival. Research shows that jealous thoughts and feelings are generally associated with relational dissatisfaction. research on sex differences and jealous emotions are mixed. some studies suggest that women experience more hurt, sadness and anxiety than men perhaps because they blame themselves for the situation more often. On the other hand, men have been found to deny jealous feelings and to focus on bolstering self esteem more than women.

What are power principles, as described in the textbook.

There are several power principles: 1. Power is a perception. People can use powerful communication, but if others do not perceive or accept their power, their behavior is not dominant. Others are powerful only to the extent that we believe them to be powerful. Objective power is the authority associated with factors such as position, strength, weaponry and wealth. But, can have objective power and still not influence anyone. 2. Power exists in a relationships. Power is a relational concept because one individual can not be dominant without someone else being submissive. 3. Power usually represents a struggle over resources; scarce and valued resources create more intense and protracted power struggles. Income and social status are often resources that affect power. 4. The person with less to lose has more power. People who are dependent on their relationship or partner are less powerful, especially if their partner might leave them. This phenomenon, known as dependence power, states that the dependent person feels the greatest relational threats. Also, quality of alternatives refers to the types of relationships and opportunities people could have if they were not in their current relationship. The principle of least interest suggests that if a difference exists in the intensity of positive feelings between partners, the partner who feels most positive is at a power disadvantage. 5. Power can be enabling or disabling. Power helps us achieve success. But excessive power of frequent power plays can cripple relationships. Power is disabling when it leads to destructive patterns of communication; such as emotional insensitivity, the chilling effect (when less powerful people hesitate to communicate grievances to partner) and the demand-withdrawal pattern (when one partner makes demands and the other partner gets defensive and withdraws). Note, studies have found that powerful people tend to be MORE interpersonally sensitive and empathetic which suggests that insensitivity is a CHOICE powerful people make. 6. The partner with the most power can make or break the rules. The prerogative principle states that powerful people can violate norms, break relational rules and manage interactions without as much cost as less powerful people.

Why do people deceive

There are several reasons why people chose to deceive. People chose to lie to benefit the hearer (want other person to feel better), to get to know someone, to protect privacy, to avoid conflict, to make you look better, to avoid punishment, to protect yourself from distress, to get revenge on someone, to protect your livelihood and/or to amuse yourself (i.e. think it's funny to string people along).

What are the 6 most reliable verbal and nonverbal cues of deceptive behavior (in other words, how can we tell if someone is lying to us)

There are several reliable cues of deceptive behavior. Information inconsistencies, such as freudian slips, are reliable cues of deceptive behavior. Other reliable cues of deceptive behavior include increased speech errors (such as long pauses and vocal fillers), increased voice pitch (higher voice correlated with saying something that is not true [as seen with Ross in the "I'm Fine" Friends clip]), increased blinking/pupil dilation (blinking more than 15-20 times a minute associated with lying), increased use of false smiles and decreased body movement. Note, asymmetrical smiles that tend to be stronger on the left side and that appear shorter and/or appear to early or to late are associated with deception.

What are the skills for managing conflict

There are several skills for managing conflict. When managing conflict, it is important to take time to cool off, think about the person as a person, try to understand what the other person is saying, find something you can agree on, be specific when you introduce a gripe, ask for and give feedback on major points, never assume, forget the past and stay with the present. Make sure to not gunnysack and to not bring up the past. d

What are some responses to dissatisfaction and hurtful events in relationships

There are several types of responses to dissatisfaction and hurtful events in relationships. Note, it is important to say something about problem so that resentment does not develop. Destructive + Active= exit or antisocial communication (i.e. insult, yell) Destructive + passive = neglect (letting things get worse) or punishment (passive aggressive behavior) Constructive + active = voice (problem solving) or prosocial communication (affection, assurances) Constructive + passive = loyalty (waiting for things to get better)

What are the three basic elements of deception

There are three basic elements of deception. First, the speaker knows that the information is false. Second, the speaker transmits the information on purpose. Lastly, the speaker tries to make the hearer believe that the information is true.

What are the 3 most common ways people discover deception

There are three common ways that people discover deception. 1.) one way that people discover deception is through third-party information, also known as finding out from someone else. 2.) Physical evidence is another way people discover deception. This can be by accident or surveillance. 3.) confession on the part of the deceiver is the last most common way to discover deception.

Describe relational violence, as stated in the textbook

There are two patterns of violence, which are common couple violence and intimate terrorism - common couple violence occurs when conflict spins out of control and the partners resort to using violence as a way to vent their emotions and try to control conflict. This type of violence tends to be reciprocal (bc one person commits violent act and the other reciprocates). There are two general pattens of common couple violence in relationships; repeated common couple violence and isolated common couple violence. Repeated common couple violence is when conflicts that are especially serious tend to escalate into violence on a fairly regular basis. Isolated common couple violence is when episodes are rare and occur only when a conflict gets especially emotional and aggressive. -intimate terrorism is a strategic and enduring pattern that involves using violence to control a partner. For example, person may use violence to keep partner from talking to rivals. Intimate terrorism is unidirectional because one partner is the perpetrator and other is victim.

What are the three ways to become a better critical listener

We can become a better critical listener by being a skeptic, evaluating the speakers credibility and by understanding probability. Evaluating the speaker's credibility involves trying to determine what they're thinking about. Understanding probability involves evaluating what is the probability that __ is actually true.

What are the three ways to become a better empathic listener

We can become a better empathetic listener by listening non-judgmentally, acknowledging other's feelings and by communicating support nonverbally. Being an empathetic listener involves being a relational listener which involves a focus on need, emotion and feelings communicated by others. Note, listening for enjoyment (such as listening to music or watching movie) -- entire goal is to enjoy the moment.

What are the three ways to become a better informational listener

We can become a better information listener by separating what is and isn't said, avoiding the confirmation bias, which is the tendency to pick out aspects that support our preexisting beliefs and values to confirm what we already believe to be true, and lastly, to listen for substance rather than style.