COM 101-Test 2
Territory and Public Space: How are shoppers manipulated by keeping your hands free/empty and your dressing rooms clean/empty?
Judging with our eyes: taking it off our hands (out of sight, out of mind) -same strategy when sales people "help you" by holding your merchandise (to the register) or helping you unclutter dressing room -out of sight, out of spending mind -invention of baskets (& bags) (after carts): hurried shoppers used hands instead of big carts and when hands were full, shoppers would stop -thus, baskets designed to substitute for hands (not bigger carts) -applied even to how much we eat: study-all you can eat chicken wings, 30% more when empty "bone basket"
Territory and Public Space: Are humans territorial? If so, supply some examples from research that supports the claim.
Like animals (e.g., library, our 101 seats in class), we leave "markers" -not urine People take longer to leave parking spaces when other cars want it (hate giving up our space)- while most said they would "move faster" we don't (exception- males leave quicker when luxury cars are waiting because of power of "perceived" wealthy) At 4 years old, adults get far less tolerant of closeness and impose "new adult rules" ( the kindergarten struggle)
Friendship lecture: What are the advantages of friendship? Explain how having friends benefit us in a variety of ways? Expand. Are there any gender differences in these benefits?
Living longer: analysis from over 150 studies on friends and health -live 20% longer (or about 7 years) -no friends=comparable to extreme obesity or smoking pack of cigarettes per day -males die 5 years sooner (older men have fewer friends) -question: should loneliness be a public-health concern? Mental health: friends with friends are the most mentally healthy in our culture -finding: 3 quality friends= to antidepressants and therapy -Why?: friends are both therapists and joy giver Confidence: -Self confidence: students at steep hill with heavy backpack -asked to estimate steepness and difficulty of climb (some with friend and others alone) -results: students with friend estimated lower steepness and less difficulty of task -longer the friendship the easier the task seemed (less steep and difficult)
Smell: Research on females attracting males
M & F particpants were genetically profiled Women smelled and rank 2-day old shirts of men for "attraction" (used scent-free products/quit smoking/no alcohol) Findings: They preferred genetically dissimilar men. Genetic similarity smelled like "dads" and "brothers" Why? Nature's ways of producing healthy offspring (avoid inbreeding of species) Additional note: female's sense of smell and her sensitivity to pheromones is 10,000 times stronger during ovulation -Also 24-36 hours of ovulation: Heightened taste, hearing, vision and bright complexion -Also spike in sex drive -mother nature's perfect "sense synchronization"
Territory and Public Space: How are shoppers manipulated by the way the store is organized?
Make them walk (3 common strategies): -time spent + items viewed = money spent -spread and separated paired items (separated: peanut and jelly/ eggs and bread/ beer and chips) -placement in back (most common items (diary)= back corner -move most popular items to the middle of every aisle (making customers walk the further distance) -more time you spend in store and more items you see= increase impulse buys (stores designed for profit, NOT efficiency)
Smell: Research on males attracting females
Male Study #1: women were asked to chart their cycle and wear a shirt for 2 days (all sweat, scent-free products, no smoking, alchohol) Men were asked to smell and sexually rank Findings: Men prefer the t-shirt smell of women who are ovulating (preferences changed as cycles changed). Also immediate spike in testosterone Male Study #2: lap dancers made higher tips when ovulating (most unaware of their cycle) evolution and human behavior Is this why this strange pose has become invitingly flirtatious?
Proxemics: Gender and Space
Men Break "intimate" space with females because of power/sexism. Drunks break losts of nonverbal rules (slurred speech and judging space) Men break rules to provoke or challenge other men. -Provoke: Move into space (distance), eye stare, finger poke -Retreat: Break eye contact, relinquish space, chest plate open Women break rules with males and females to connect with others
Friendship: How has friendship changed for college students in the past 30 years? How and Why?
Millennials: 1 fewer "close" friend (from 3 to 2 since 1985) -more like family member but more acquaintances (social media) Sadly, 1 in 4 have no close friends -most friends: educated females (continues to grow) -fewest friends: uneducated males (continues to shrink) --men that were most "traditionally masculine" had far fewer friends and were more isolated --male isolation gets worse with age Overall, 25% of US have no one to talk to Why?: -maintaining close friendships demand 10 to 20 hours of investment per month (2 to 4 hours) a week minimum. Any less and the relationship is challenged. --Reason 1: more time working (before 2000: 40 hour work (work used as a noun) and today 40+ 20 more digital hours (work as verb)) --Reason 2: more isolated screen time (average 15 hours per day with screen because of inticing qualities of technology) Digital friendships: good for maintaining lots of acquaintances, but close friendships need face to face time of self disclosure --Both reasons: encompassed by "displacement theory" for every 1 minute at work or online is 1 less minute for relationships making friend displaced
Mirroring: How does power influence mirroring?
Mirroring is also determined by power relationships. Those with more, don't change. Those with less, mirror. Research: Famous talk-show host Larry King(40 years on CNN): adapted his speech and mirrored only with more powerful guests, but when interviewing less powerful they mirrored him.
Territory and Public Space: Discuss 3 findings from the research on music and intelligence.
Music before an intellectual test: -the mozart effect: double piano sonata: yes increase 51 points on verbal and 39 on math of SAT Music during intellectual tests: -spatial intelligence (locating images/identifying patterns and color/ completing puzzles/ cleaning your house): yes most music helped - Reading comprehension and grammar editing: No silence is almost always better --Note 1: instrumental is better than lyrical music --Note 2: musicians performed even worse (w/ all music)
Territory and Public Space: Discuss the research on music and shopping.
Music in supermarkets: -slower music (speed bump) slows us down (= increased time in store) --also calms shopping and spending anxiety --outcome: spend 38% more (or +$4,700 per store, per day) -loud and faster music: walk faster and leave quicker and spend less -suggestions: bring your own music (to save: fast + loud= save
Territory and Public Space: Why are grocery store designed for customers to get lost? Why do they break up their gridline design?
New approach: Confuse customers and get them lost. Create illusion of "order" and don't make it messy. -IKEA uses small "islands" of products, spread (surprisingly/randomly) around store -Why is works? 1) Slows us down (we stay longer) 2) We see more of the store 3) Spend 50% more on impulse buys Break-up familiar grid lines -most retail floor layouts use grid lines (not Ikea design), familiar logical patterns -but bad for business: too quick and efficient -instead: slow and surprised shopper with breaks out of their auto-trance. Surprise turns/gridline quirks. Make them wander and wonder if they missed something? -Outcome: more time/more items viewed/ more spent
Nonverbal: What two ways do we learn/inherit nonverbal communication?
Nonverbal comm. supplies as much as 90% of all the comm. we send and receive (far more than written or spoken comm.). We are, in fact, constantly sending and receiving nonverbal messages (not always accurately however). "We cannot, not communicate." And when nonverabal messages contradict spoken messages, we trust the nonverbal. Both culturally taught and biologically inherited. 1) Culture/Social: Learned from parents, peers, mass media (always changing). Culturally and generationally specific (e.g. the crotch grab) 2) Biology: "neurological programs" are hardwired actions that are both universal (everyone) and uncontrollable. Blushing, smiling, pupil dilation, tears, deep breathing, etc. Consequently, these are both found a) Around the world (regardless of spoken language) b) timeless
Loving Language: receiving gifts (& outings)
Not materialism/ thoughtless spending "hurts" Key: visual symbol =loved (even small gift (RV kkey chain)= thinking of you Perfect: shows you know them, better/intimately -remembered she loved daisies as a girl -son got dad bama tickets (only son knew his dream) -my 1st concert was BRUCE (found 78' tshirt) Always on my mind with objects: vacations- morning walks, found pretty shells for you, but to return with nothing= not thinking of you Possible Conflicts: Missed anniversary and/or thoughtless plans & gifts (you buy gift and meal that have no special meaning) Communication Suggestions: keep notes of gift ideas always keep an eye out for small symbols / start collection (turtles)/ make a big deal of b-days, v-days and anniversaries Possible Conflicts: or you keep giving gifts to show love but your partner wants quality time. Your gifts feel cheap.
Love languages: quality time
Nothing says, "I love you," like full undivided attention (if you love me, find time for me): checking your cell= others are more important -distractions post poned and being late = hurt (can't stay long or got to run = especially hurtful Possible Conflict 1: your lover is late, again -to make up, he brings you flowers (gift) or she tries quickie sex (touch) -both feel degrading and unfulfilling Possible Conflict 2: after a busy/bad day -to be kind, you give her space to unwind and relax -she feels rejected and forgotten Communication suggestions: date nights/ don't always have friends over/ private routines (wine after work or breakfast in the AM) Coupon book of quality "you time"
Love languages: How can this theory help you identify recurring conflict in your relationships?
Often used in Couple's Therapy to identify problems Chapman says: If 2 people both love each other and are both trying to make it work...different love languages is often the problem (easily fixed)
Territory and Public Space: The Gruen Effect?
Old-business logic: keep your store organized and easy to use Not used anymore
Lying: Lying cues- micro-expressions
Paul Ekman discovered bizarre flash expressions when telling highstakes lies and lasts for less than a second (connected to our 7 universal facial expressions-hard wired emotion) and they are impossible to control in stress Examples: micro expressions and soft voice showed he didn't like line of questioning These micro-expressions reveal the person's true emotion, underneath the lie
Friendship: Race and Friendship: Explain why race seems to be improving at an interpersonal level, but not at a larger, social level?What is the contact hypothesis? Good or bad idea for battling racism?
People are naturally attracted to similar people, why most of our freinds are almost clones of us (in gender, race, ehtinic, $, age, hobbies, etc.) Why?: hardwired similarity theory (any differences put us on alert) But even though we live in segregated subgroups many have close friends of another race Whites: 60% claim to ahve a close nonwhite friend Nonwhites: 75% claim to have a close nonwhite friend We are also making more romantic "other-race" friends -15% of new marriages in USA are interracial -Today: 1 out of every 7 vs. 1970: 1 out of every 115 Then why still so much racism and mistrust? -sad fact: having a friend or lover form outside our race doesn't safeguard us from prejudice/racism -many falsely believe otherwise, however -idea is basis for contact hypothesis: --optimistic goal: just make 1 different friend, but it does not work so simply --We still maintain our deeply entrenched general stereotypes about the group by conceptually "fencing off" our friend/lover as an exception to the general rule --Key: this allows us to love our friend while still maintaining our entrenched group prejudice
Proxemics: Explain Hall's 4 distances (when and why we use them?)
Personal Space by Edward Hall: Hall found rules behind the "hidden world" of distance and space. Crazy no one saw this before 1970s. Rules that we are only aware of when they are broker (close talker). 4 Distances: 1) Intimate: Direct to 8" (with loved ones) 2) Personal: 3' Bubble (usually standing) 3) Social (professional): 4' to 12' (usually sitting) 4) Public: 12' and on (usually w/ audience)
Smell: What are pheromones?
Pheromones are chemical messengers that activate physiologcial or behavioral responses in other like organisms (smells without an odor) When a crying baby is passed down a controlled "testing line" (with dads, nurses, other similar women) the newborn immediately becomes less anxious and happier with biological mother
Proxemics: Explain the relationship between power and space.
Power and Rule Breaking: -Higher power: can break all nonverbal rules -Lower power: small children and pregnant women seem powerless Power= Amounts of Space -Biggest office/ biggest house/ biggest buildings (signs and rewards of power) Culture and Space (UN analysis of World Bubbles) -Russia and Scandinavia vs. USA vs. South America and Middle East (gets smaller at each one)
Lying: Lying cues- contradictory movements and words (incongruence)
Saying sorry while nodding no uncertain shrug while saying yes Why: regulated by 2 different parts of brain- in truth auto-pilot does it perfectly for us
Proxemics: How do we know the right distance to use?
Selecting the appropriate distance is always based on two factors: 1) Context: social, professional, romantic, familial, entertainment, etc. 2) Relationship employer, friend, stranger, performer, lover, child, etc.
Territory and Public Space: Within the layout of a restaurant, how do the following locations impact on what, and how much, we eat/drink? Sitting in a booth? Sitting near the windows? Sitting close to the bar?
Sitting in a booth: -80% more likely to buy dessert -why? we feel less rushed Sitting near windows: -more likely: salads and healthy -why? remind us we are being watched (as we watch others) Sitting closer to the bar -we drink more booze -why? classic priming (my cigars)
Territory and Public Space: How are shopper manipulated by certain smells in certain locations?
Smell of Succes: the pleasant smells of baked goods and flowers put shoppers in a good mood, make people more willing to spend, and activate salivary glands to make you more likely to impulse buy. They want to hit you when your cart is empty and your spirits are high. -pleasant smells=happy shopper=increased time in store= more sales. -Why Cinnabon is allowed outside mall "food courts" and no complaints from other stores (pleasant smells boost all spending). Cinnabon updated/revised strategy and baked every 30 minutes even if no need and ovens were moved to front of store from back and they are careful about competing smells (no onion or garlic or Abercombie/Hollister perfumes) -Bath and Body Works use smell as their key business strategy. -Starbucks fixed breakfast menu to avoid clash with coffee aroma
Friendship: How has our online friendships impacted us? For the good and bad? What does current research say about our happiness with online friendships? What are the two biases that impact how we judge our own happiness?
Social media is designed to allow users to maintain more contact with more people. So effective that many have replaced hours of face to face contact with hours of online contact. Great at maintaining lots of acquaintances with little effort Are we happier? -No. Frequent users are lesshappy with their lives/friends -Sad irony: friendships are designed to bring happiness (fact: face to face friends are ranked happiest of all activities) Why are we less happy online? -social media for social comparison: we evaluate our lives by comparing and contrasting to others --face to face: brief and immediate, no artifical enhavnement or computer editing --online: post only hight points of week, strategically edited (we never post ugly pics or boring mundane events --Problem: while we understand logically we cant help self-judgement and comparisons (made worse by 2 brain biases) Brain bias 1: under perceive negative posts of others by 25% (seems like they have no bad days) Brain bias 2: over perceive the postive posts of others by 25% (seems like they are always happy and popular) Conclusion: your life 50% less fun, exciting, and popular
Smell: Research about menstrual cycles
Study: Why and how does synchronizing menstrual cycles happen? Before study: all girls in dorm charted their normal cycle (days) Next: 1 random dorm girl was selected Dab: Her clean underarm oils were dabbed under the noses of the rest Finding: Girl #1 cycle did not move. The rest converged towards hers: from 9.3 days apart to 3.4 days Why?: Safer in hunter/gather cultures to have women compressed (6 days vs. 30 days)- Menstration attracts bears So who controls the cycle naturally? In real-world conditions, the "controlling female" may possess one (or more) of the following behavior or personality traits: 1) the girl that sweats a lot? 2) the girl that lends her clothes to everyone on her floor/house? 3) the girl that is the slob (leaving her dirty clothes everywhere? 4) the girl that visits everyone (sitting on everyone's bed, pillows, couches)?
Facial Feedback effect: Explain how happiness and sadness can be manipulated with the face. How can Botox be used as a life hack?
Subjects were told they were studying teeth and jaw. 1) held a pencil in their teeth 2) strangely, this biology mimics the same muscle structure of a real smile. Question: Is this (pencil smile) enough to fool the brain into believing it is really happy? Answer: Yes! Brain released bursts of happy dopamine, serotonin, norepinephrine? Opposite is also true: Fake frown causes feeling increased anger. Fake fear- more afraid of society while listening to news reports. Botox mistakes (can't frown) so reported being happier for month Botox lasted (MRI brain scans show Botox also helped chronic depression by blocking the ability to frown)
Territory and Public Space: Within the context of shopping, what is the law of invariant right?
The "Law of Invariant Right:" We turn right then left entering stores -Explanation: We move right to our strong side -Lesson: Work with the natural flow and show off "must see" products to right of store
Nonverbal: What are the 7 universal facial expressions?
There are 6+ 1 universal facial expressions: From birth we are hard-wired to emotions. Thus, it is impossible to control (no such thing as poker face). Universal facial expressions aided original idea for world-wide emojis to aid international written messages (without nonverbal cues to help interpretation). 1) anger 2) disgust 3) fear 4) happiness 5) sadness 6) surprise 7) Contempt (not seen in babies)
Flirting and Mate Attraction: Discuss the research around the 13 different factors that influence attraction between humans during the early stages of dating and the factors that are gender specific. Explain the importance of "similarity" in attracting mates.
There attraction facts are not the same factors that help predict "long-term success" 1) physical appearance: -greatest predictor for male attraction (not females) -wife's attractiveness play a significant role in the husbands martial satisfaction (but not so for the wife) -"essential" traits during selection: ---males 3x more: "face" as essential (vs. females) ---males 5x more: "body" as essential (vs. females) ---why females use old photos and lie about weight -funny study: men and women found each other to be 25% more attractive after 3 beers -Negative outcome: more attractive= more likely to cheat/have affairs because desired and propositioned more 2) Money and Earning Potential: -$= #1 factor for feamle (highest for women in South) -not just in Jane Austin Novels, even in 2017, 88% of American women agree that wealth is "very important" in picking mate (even as women graduate college at 5 to 4 ratio) -quality most women look for for marriage: 1) similar ideals for raising kids and 2) secure job #1 -most women would marry for money (highest segement in 30s) and most would expect divorce ($2.5M for 20s and $1.1M for 30s) -dating-site manipulation: (men and women know bias) women underplay their success and men overplay their success (#1 lie online for men) 3) Approachability: -Research: it is not the most attractive who get apporached, but those who signal availability and confidence through flirting -in fact, those who smiled and made eye contact were 6x more likely to be approached vs. simply good-looking -why? reduced chance of rejection -suggestions: besides smiling and eye contact (don't huddle with friends /inviting placement) 4) Off limits: a female thing -mysterious/ bad boy/dangerous/ different race/ vampire/ 50 shades --hollywood: dangerous, unpredictable, damaged, dark --females like tattoos on guys too (but not for long-term relationships) -online: best pose for men is mysteriously aloof, unsmiling, looking off camera 5) Sexually inviting (a male thing) -who gets most attention at bars? -online dating sites: the cleavage shot garners women 79% more contacts 6) If others like them: -popularity breeds more popularity: social proof theory? we follow the pack? -female desire for a hypothetical "ideal mate" increases from 59% to 90% when told the "man" was "taken" --the male "wedding ring" theory --Why? Scarcity Principle? We want the rare? -men, however, lost interest when they discovered the female was "taken" (esp. surprising given male competition) 6) If we discover they like us -Why? It's a sure thing? You both like you? -Tip: Don't hide it. Instead, let it "leak out" 7) humor (make you laugh): -For females, however # "man with a sense of humor" women judge funny men 3x more desirable -In fact, men ranked #3: women with a sense of humor (okay for female friends, not for girlfriends to be funny: men report their best female friends are funnier) -Why? men see humor as masculine trait --explanation: funnier women are smarter (research reports that men are less attracted to smarter women) -discovered we actually mean 2 different things: Women want a man who will make them laugh and men want women who will laugh at their humor 8) Similarity Theory: - we are most attracted to people we share commonalities with us -even the smallest/superficial commonalities attract us (1st names, locations, common teams, favorite TV and movies, age, smoking, shared foods) -even their appearance: Study 1: we select people with our dominant facial characteristics using computer simulation Study 2: strangers accurately identify real "couples" vs. "fake/random" couples Study 3: longer couples are married= more similar they become Why? similar diets and lifestyles, mirroring expressions, longer mirroring= produced same line/wrinkles -The failure of similarity theory: but this approach is wrong. While we are initially attracted to people who share common interests, is sucks at predicting long-term success. Analysis of 313 studies found it accounts for less than 0.5 of success and satisfaction (statistically no better than random chance. Fact: most happy couples don't share common interests or activities -Is there any hope or help for lovers? Yes common core values and beliefs can predict long term success. -7 similarities in core values and beliefs (if important to one, should be important to both): --1: religion (or no religion), just agree --2: finances (#1 reason for fighting, even in successful relationships)-ideal: common views spending/saving (frugal vs. extravagant) --3: gender roles (traditional vs modern) --4: family/children vs. work balance (closely linked with gender roles) especially important today with both working full time (becoming #1 for women's unhappiness = unequal labor at home --5: culture and ethnicity (only IF important to 1). One explanation why white and "other race" couples do not work. Many white do not know their ethnicity/while nonwhites= culture is key. Inter-racial/ ethnic divorce rates are higher with 1 exception, white males and black females --6: political perspective --7: education (and curiosity about world) similarity is key! Note: larger gaps in education= strong predictor of infidelity (cheating) 9) Complementary (or Opposition) Theory: -similarity (#1)>complementary -Dissimilarity works with certain pairings: --dominance + submissive personalities (he is in charge and she follows) -maybe we are attracted to differences/attributes we wish we had 10) vocal quality: -men with deep voices: perceived to be sexier, taller, muscular, and hairy chested -add breathiness=less agressive and nicer -men with higher pitched perceived to be: less truthful and less powerful -men and women slower talking: perceived to be less intelligent and less attractive -women with higher pitched: are perceived as more attractive, having smaller bodies and add breathiness and even sexier -women with deep voices judged to be masculine, ugly and heavier (but trusted and viewed as "leader" = male trait -english accent =smartest and southern= unintelligent -in study with lower and higher pitched tones saying "I urge you to vote" (pitch mattered) 11) Facial hair or not? -four conditions: 1) clean shaven 2) five day stubble 3) 10 day stubble 4) full beards -Preferred by straight women?: 10day (#3)=sexier full beards (#4)= more protective and better fathers -preferred by men?: clean shaven (#1), but least attractive to women) 12) Ovulation (1 to 3 days before) -species is driven to procreate: women are more likely to cheat on their partners while ovulating. Women show more interest in going to social gatherings. Women chose slightly sexier and more revealing clothes when they are fertile. And remember, men are attracted to the pheromones of ovulating tshirts and strippers -creating the "perfect storm" for the young/playful: Horny men and fertile risky women = baby 13) Props to attract romance -props (signs) of wealth for women used by men to attract women -study: women reacting to men with gym bags, guitars, books, dogs findings: women rated men with dogs as most suitable for long term relationships -perceived to be a more nurturing, capable of long-term commitments, and relaxed approachable and happiness
Facial Feedback effect: Explain the basics of the theory (how and why does it work)
Tradtional direction: feeling/emotion dictates our facial expression (first feeling/emotion then the correct facial expression second) Note: remember emotions are not just "feelings," they also are manifested in ur biology and brain chemistry Bilogical and neurochemical happiness: brain releases "feel good" neuro-chemicals (dopamine, serotonin, and norepinephrine). Skin temp rises. Heart rate quickens. Pupils dilate. Cortisol levels (stress) drops. Crazy: It can also work in reverse (a brain glitch) 1st: make a meaning less facial expression then 2nd: you confused brain will create the accompanying biology neurochemical changes to match your faces new mood (i.e. fake smile produces real biological "happiness"
Love Languages: Acts of Service
True Love: "let me do that for you" helping=love. Hurt: how can you let me change my tire? Laziness (i.e. being messy)= says you don't matter Possible Conflict 1: she is really busy and stressed. You want to do something nice...what to do? -so you kiss her neck (touch) or leave her a note (words) -but she wants "service": give the kids a bath if you love me Possible Conflict 2: she cooks dinner. So you stay out of her way because that is the way you like it -she's hurt when you sit in the living room, not helping -note: idea of "male independence" Clashes with "acts" Possible Conflict 3: act of service love is often missed as a meaningful expression of love -we misinterpret those "acts" as just chores or duties -dad fixing for daughter at college/mom over-cooking Communication sugggestion: recognize their service as love (not obligations or labor)/ help (DIY, activities together)/ Don't create work for them/ "to-do" coupon/love book
Territory and Public Space: How are shoppers manipulated by eye level items? (and trick for unloading stuff)
Unethical placement of candy, strategically placed for kids to see and grab. Another dirty trick: no unloading space, 90% of customers want to unload unwanted items before checkout. eye levels on cereal aisle -Fact: top brands (like Kellogg) pay stores big bucks for eye-level placement (slotting fees). Adult eye level: 48 inches high. Children's eye level: 23 inches high. -Another children's cereal strategy: 1) not just cute/funny cartoon character (with big eyes) 2) but the characters will stare directly at kid shoppers: a)eye contact=16% increase brand trust/like b)23 inches= just a bit taller than young kids (box looks down) c)best results: cartoon looking slightly down (at 9.6 degree angle)
Lying: Lying cues- up or down palms
Upward palms (good sign): instinctual and natural that accompanies openness and invitations, exposes our chest plate (vulnerability) Downward palms (bad sign): gesture that unconsciously accompanies trepidation/apprehension. instinctual and natural for stopping and/ or blocking action or entrance Nierenberg and Calero analyzed over 2000 negotiating interactions -Findings: no settlements when crossed body and down palms were used
Love languages: Be able to explain how and why conflict can emerge with each of the 5 love languages (e.g., Words conflict with Touch / Touch conflict with Service)
What causes the problem? We lovingly "do unto our lovers as we want them to do unto us" But what if what they want, is not what we want? -You show (& want) love by touching/hugs but your lover shows (&wants) love through kind words. You both feel unappreciated and unloved -Sadly, effort and sincerity is not enough
Lying: Lying cues- eyes tells as lying cues
When lying, our obvious and natural instinct is to look away (over compensating eye stare). Thus, liars will over-compensate by making far too much eye contact (bad acting). -Truth: only 30% with truth and hold no more than 7 to 10 seconds (anymore than this= red flag) -Liars blink more (5 seconds vs. 2 seconds) -Pupil Size (Problematic): Difficult call: dilate (larger) when we are thinking (harder=bigger) and adrenaline increases Problem: increased thinking and adrenaline often occur (especially in high stakes situations) In short: ignore pop media (pupils too unreliable)
Love Languages (ways we communicate our affection): What are "love languages" and why are they important? What do they tell us and how do they help us? What are the 5 different langauges?
While we think we effectively communicate our affections and appreciation to the people we care about. Research shows that we don't. We often choose the wrong "language/approach" to communicate our love and appreciation Chapman found humans communicate their love and affection 5 different ways: 1) through kind/loving words 2) through physical touch 3) through quality time 4) through acts of service (helping) 5) through gifts The way you like affection communicated to you (i.e. our "love language) was influenced/ learned by our parents (the good and bad) -high touch family= you are touch -dad never home= you are time -Influenced by each meaningful relationship throughout our lives (1st love very powerful), but remains relatively stable over time. Connected to biology/genes (high touch vs verbal expression) -Most of us enjoy (&use) all 5 expressions of appreciation (everyone likes gift (#5) and kiss (#2) 1) what separates us, however, is how important style is to us (think ratio or degree of each): "primary" or "secondary" -Note: this theory applies to both heterosexual and LGBT relationships
Territory and Public Space:How are shoppers manipulated when and where fruits and vegetables are located?
Why veggies 1st: doesn't make since, since people don't want veggies on bottom of cart to get smashed, but after buying "healthy produce" we buy significantly more unhealthy/junk. -Note: why all major chain stores force you into produce as you walk in (no choice)
Gestures: Explain how men and women sit, walk, smile and interact (6 differences)
Women Movement: 1) Women sitting: -reluctant to reach, stretch and extend -arms close to body, hands folded in, toes pointing straight (or inward) -legs pressed together (sexually passive) -to make themselves small and narrow (to take less space, proportionally) 2) Women Walking: -proportionally smaller strides -palms inward -before sitting, quicken pace (not making others wait/accommodating) 3) women smile and eyes: -women smile more (and return more often) -never show indifference, but warmth 4) Attitude: called the Politeness Principle - pressured to act feminine: to be sweet, kind, soft, emotional, chaste, and non-confrontational - women downplay accomplishments (less bragging) and apologize far more (I'm sorry) 5) online dating: men find women more attractive when they smile and least attractive when they look proud and confident 6) girls, chin down. Men also like the female chin to be down (but eyes up) to communicate flirtatious but passive personalitycharacteristics. Men don't like the head up and proud look. Men in movement: 1) Men sitting -Man spread: expand into the available space (create illusion of size and power) -legs spread apart (hyper sexual) -often relaxed/slouching -slow down before sitting (wait for me) 2) men walking - proportionally longer strides -swing arms (both create an illusion of size/paper) 3) Men smile and eyes - eye contact= control -smile less/ stoic indifference -cool "head nod" and fist pound (don't seem too happy or enthusiastic 4) Male attitude and personality -masculine script: hard, aggressive, emotionally stoic, hyper-sexual (total cultural system of brainwashing: cowboy movies, superheroes, sports and coaches and hip hop) -communication behaviors: don't apologize, change topics, assume lead, interrupt and correct women (mansplain) 5) online dating: women find men more attractive when they take on swaggering or brooding poses and less attractive when they smile 6) guys, chin up. Women like men who are "manly, cocky, proud." Male performance: confident, proud and assured (vs. shy, timid and smiling) Women also like scars on men (only for short term relationships though) Example: in 2016 the 1st presidential debate between a man and woman: many female viewers saw Trump's traditional "man-speak" as a very familiar style of male communication (interruption, corrections, condescending, eye rolling, mansplaining, space crowding). Trump interrupted 51 times (on her time, alone)
Love language: Is theory only for romantic couples?
Work place: showing appreciation to workers -gifts=trophies - words= public praise Friendships (showing affection to buddies) -time=#1 for lovers and friends Your parents (and siblings) -are you effectively telling your family members how appreciated they are? Mom and dad don't speak same LL
Lying: Lying cues- higher pitch in tone of voice
during high stakes lies, all muscles tighten, even our larynx (throat)
Lying: Lying cues- crossed legs and arms
instinctual behavior when all humans are untrusting and guarded (we are literally protecting our chest plate and groin Can also mean stubbornness or prideful (also bad for negotiation) In negotiations, a crossed body "tells" of a lack of trust and an unwillingness to concede (regardless of what they verbally may say)
Lying: Lying cues- touching of nose (Pinocchio effect)
more blood to nose tissue
Lying: Lying cues- grooming behaviors
playing with hair, adjusting a tie, or fidgeting with a shirt cuff
Lying: Lying cues- covering eyes, mouth and face with hands
putting hand over mouth, face, eyes, etc.
Lying: Lying cues- increase the rate of speech
spoken words per minute less nerves when we tell the truth nerves increase and public speaking is 1/3rd faster
Love language: How can this theory help you identify your ideal mate?
stop dating overly-busy people with no time (if time is your language) stop dating lovers that don't talk/self disclose (strong silent types) if words/affirmation is your language
Lying: Lying cues- voice will soften
volume levels drop not all that's said is a lie, thus, pay attention to when cues appear
Lying: Lying Cues
1) Eyes tell as lying cues 2) higher pitch in tone of voice 3) increase the rate of speech 4) voice will soften 5) touching of nose (pinocchio effect) 6) covering eyes, mouth, and face with hands 7) fake vs. honest smile 8) contradictory movements and words (called "incongruence") 9) Grooming behaviors 10) nonverbal positioning: 3 common tells 11) crossed legs and arms 12) up or down palms 13) micro-expressions 14) listen to talk (7 verbal cues) 15) individual "tells"
Besides using the human face to change mood, what are 3 other "feedback effects" involving body gestures and movement we discussed in class?
1) Fake/un-natural crossed arms: foold brain into believing we are really perserverant and sends neurochemicals needed for focus and patients (spend 2x longer on difficult tasks vs. control group) 2) Fake/un-natural clinched fists: fools the brain into thinking we are determined. Our will power is 40% stronger vs. control group. 3) Face/forced 80 seniors dance/play: brain follows body and believes host is actually younger. Memory and reaction times improve vs. control group
Facial Feedback effect: Why do men and women most often follow this script?
1) How free are we to break these NV "rules?" He becomes a sissy and she becomes unlady like. Culture always pressures our compliance. Nonconformity to "gender roles" is the #1 reason for bullying through HS. 2) Do these behvaviors have a biological impact on us (Facial Feedback Theory)? Do our bodies produce different neurochemicals based on our nonverbal posture, walk and smile? Does passive posture=passive biology? The answer is yes!
Nonverbal: 4 reasons why our pupils dilate or constrict?
1) Regulatory sun and light, but even "thinking" about light changes size 2) Drug use: Constriction/smaller: narcotics/ pain killers (e.g., opiates, morphine, heroine). Dilation/larger: Stimulants (e.g., cocaine, crack, crank, speed), Marijuana, Hallucinogens (e.g., LSD) 3) Mood: Good/happy= big (dilated) & Sad/Angry= small (contract), beady-eyed 4) increased adrenaline: good (sex) events/thoughts & bad (fear) events/thoughts 5) Thinking hard: a) increases in proportion to task difficulty b) what's 9x13? (pupils slightly dilate) c) Try 29x13 (will widen further) d) reamin dilated until answered/ or stop trying 6) Quick decision making: Study- subject pushed butoon/trigger, unpredictly Findings- pupil dilation 1 second before "shot" 7) Looking at things we like or love (the pupil of your eye can expand 45% while looking and someone you love): we find bigger pupils more attractive too
Love Languages: 3 easy solutions to fix
1) express love and affection the way "he/she" wants love expressed (hold her more) 2) and tell them how "you" want/need love expressed back to you (spend more time w/ me) 3) learn to appreciate your lover's natural language that they'll speak to you (learn that things=love)
Flirting and Mate Attraction: What are the 10 flirting cues?
1) increase touch and touch response 2) reduced personal space (18") 3) increased mirroring (leaning in) 4) open body displays (shoulders, neck): -for women: palming or showing wrists and hands -head canting or tilting (exposing neck) 5) exaggerated interest: -increased laughter -excessive nodding and encouragement -expressive face and feedback -increased eye contact (fewer breaks) 6) blocking outside distractions -ignoring others via eye contact -frustration at interruptions 7) neurological programs: -dilated pupils and blushing 8) primp hair, clothers, accessories (worring about appearance) 9) exaggerated "gender" behavior -males behave more manly or protective -females exaggerate femininity (sweeter and coy) 10) language cues: -1 compliments -2 gentle teasing -3 conversation becomes more"R" rated -4 discloses "single status"
Lying: Lying cues- listen to talk (8 verbal cues)
1) stalling tactics ("what?"/ "repeat the question") 2) telling you that they are honest ("to be honest" "frankly" "to be perfectly truthful") 3) Liars do not use contractions 4) too much detail (overcompensating) 5) convulted phrasing and verbal mistakes (long, awkard sentences, mistakes) 6) since the story is "created" and not remembered, liars re-tell in strict chronology (trick: ask to tell story out of sequence) 7) Interrogator strategy: let subject sit and quietly, and wait ( liars will over talk). Truth remain confidently and defiantly silent 8) When asked "what punishment should the perpetrator be given if found guilty" guilty/liar suggested far lighter punishment and innocent suggested far harsher punishment
Love Languages: words of affirmation
1) words of affirmation: if you are this type of lover -unsolicited compliments mean the world -don't make her ask "do you like my dress?" -texting in the middle of the day, for no reason -hearing the words, "I love you," are important (your silence =hurts) -with cell phones, there are so many more ways to both feel good or get your feelings hurt -insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten (words are powerful) -possible conflicts: to you, if you don't say it, you don't really feel it (your lover, who's not a big talker, made dinner and washed car (service), he is "shouting" his love -communication suggestions: leave cute notes of praise, unplanned calls and texts to say you miss them, never leave without kind words of affirmation
Lying: Lying cues- nonverbal positioning
3 common tells: 1) put something in b/w you and them (creating blocking wall) with purse, pillow, coffee, ashtray, etc. 2) similarly, liars will lean away from the questioner (not in) 3) liars look at doors or point feet or body towards exit door
Lying: At what age do we start lying and what factor determines when we begin to lie?
Children start lying before 1 and it just gets worse. -Study involving kids guessing number on hidden card to win prize and over 90% peaked at card when given chance ages 5 and up (gender, race, and ethnicity didn't matter) and lies grew the older the age group -lies mark intellectual development so younger kids cannot lie as well 60% of people we meet will tell us 2 to 3 lies in the first 10 minutes of a conversation (many are silly with no real purpose like "no I'm not hungry," "No, you don't look fat," "I'm feeling great") Evolution of lying (from primates to teens): college students lie to your mom in 1 out of every 5 interactions We hear 200 lies per day Men: lie 8x more about themselves (vs females) Women: lie 3x more to protect others (vs males) Dating couples: 1 out of every 3 interactions Married: lie 1 out of 10 interaction Women are better at detecting lies and lying We think we are great lie detectors but are actually worse than rolling the dice (47% accuracy)
Mirroring: Can we predict real connection (romantic connection, friendships, politics, etc.)? How?
College students at four-minute speed dates: Data- all pairs were video recorded and analyzed for mirroring behavior Finding- "Synched/Mirrored" couples were 4x as likely to go on date
Lying: Why is it hard to lie? Why aren't most of us better at it?
Creating is hard vs. remembering is easy Lying turns off communication's auto-pilot that coordinates both verbal and nonverbal (we have to artifically and un-naturally control both) Acting "natural" is hard (ask Hollywood): great actors study both the verbal and nonverbal to be great liars -the untrained are bad at "fake" nonverbal. Give too much detail (liars say too little). Over-fake surprise (surprise= less second) 3 important points: 1) know their normal (individual "base line") 2) look for lying clusters (not just 1 cue) 3) lie has to be meaningful (high-stakes lies)
Facial Feedback effect: Using the work of Professor Cuddy from Harvard (and the Facial Feedbackeffect), explain how the way we stand and sit can actually influence the biology and brain chemistry of our confidence and stress?
Cuddy's Findings: When females obey the culturally prescribed rules of "appropriate" feminine nonverbal communication they are putting themselves at a biological disadvantage for leadership (especially when increase testosterone and decrease cortisol are advantageous) Terms (the cheat sheet): 1) testosterone is associated with risk taking, aggression, dominance and competitiveness 2) cortisol is released in response to stress
Territory and Public Space: Within the context of shopping, what is the decompression zone?
Decompression zone (aka downshift or landing zone) -Items are 30% less likely to be bought -shoppers need 5 to 15 paces to gear down from walking speed (from mall lanes or parking lot) to shopping speed (much slower) and adjust our eyes to different light Lesson 1: Don't bombard entering shoppers Lesson 2: If use "lure" repeat "hot" item, deeper inside
Lying: Lying cues- fake vs. honest smile
Duchenne effect of 1860s: wrinkles around eyes come with real smiles lines, crinkles, creases and wrinkles people judge people with Botox to be less trust worthy Ted Cruz (smile goes down, gives off impression he's not sincere)
Territory and Public Space: At a restaurant, the people that are around us also impact our eating decisions. Explain the influences of the following situations? Eating alone vs. eating with 4 or more people? Eating with an overweight friend? Having an overweight server?
Eating is very social (vs. eating alone at home): -with 4 people = 75% more at restaurant -with 7 people (or more) = 96% more at restaurant -we drink more, Hors d'oeurvre, desserts, etc. (even if just a few want it, all orders it as well) Eating with overweight friends? you'll eat more If your waitress is overweight? you'll eat more Woman eating with a man? She will eat less
Territory and Public Space: How are shopper manipulated by size of shopping cart? How does size theory apply to dishes?
Expanding shopping carts: 3x larger since 1970s (they even expanded baskets) -outcome: buy 37% more -Why? we shop with our eyes (judge unused space) -We see unfilled cart and think we have more space to fill and more money to spend -Key: our eyes tell us, when we reach the top, it's time to stop Finding: we eat with our eyes more than our stomachs -dishes have also doubled since the 1960s and keep getting bigger -expanding from 10" to 12" plates 2 inches = we eat 22% more
Facial Feedback effect: What is a practical life hack can we learn from this theory?
Fake it, to Make it. Don't let your current mood determine your spirit, Change it! So don't just mope around when you are feeling depressed (or old). Instead, fake or mimic the nonverbal state of mind you want to be in! Outcome: Faking it, will actually help you make it.
Territory and Public Space: Discuss the research on music and eating and drinking.
Fast music: you chew faster (we also drive faster with quick temp songs) Loud music: men drink more and quicker
Territory and Public Space: Why is the size of aisles important for sales?
Feeling crowded while shopping: Feeling crowded is bad. Key finding: when feeling crowded people spend less time in store, fewer impulse buys, and enjoy experience less. -If brushed from behind, desire for item decreases. Women also leave much sooner because it is breaking "intimate distance" rule. -Management Dilemma: Full inventory vs. Open Space (more items in stores vs. more open space for shoppers) -Our tolerance for space is not universal: asians more tolerant of crowding while british least tolerant.
Smell: The smell of love: Explain the different smells (non pheromones) that sexually arouse both men and women. What are top 2 for each sex? How was it studied and tested (no need to know the machines' name)?
Hirsch and Gruss (University of Michigan) wanted to identify "What smells produce biological sexual arousal?" -from 30 different scents on sexual arousal How? Using the plethysmograph to measure increases in (male) penile blood flow (tale of the tape) They found that while men and women liked the smell of popular perfumes and colognes they did not produce biological arousal So...what odors produced biological arousal for men? -popular smells for men: #1 lavendar and pumpkin pie combined (note: hirsch's more recent studies have also found that, baked cinnamon buns at #1) #2: donuts and black licoris combined What odors increase vaginal blood flow? -popular smells for women: #1 cucumber and good and plenty combined #2 baby powder -reduced arousal: #1 charcoaled meat and cherries #2 men's colognes (women liked smell but it wasn't biologically effective)
Love Languages: physical touch
Hugs, holding hands, sitting close and touches on the arm or face mean everything (case study: girl at fair date feeling unloved because no touch and boy thought it went great because he won bear, joked, ate) May confuse this love type as "sex" (needing touch, they will end up having sex) Possible Conflicts: you (often men) interpret as sex invite Possible Conflicts: she had a bad day -you make big dinner for her (hours of service) -all your touch lover really wants is to be held/spooned Communication suggestions: always hold hands while walking, never sit away, let your knee or foot touch your partner/ be sensitive to differences between tender kiss vs. sex/ learn rule kiss enter and exit (even if its not your language, do it)
Mirroring: What is it? Why does it happen? Outcomes for sender and receiver? What do we mirror?
If we like the person we are talking to, we unconsciously mirror them: -facial expressions (smile=smile) -nonverbal posture (leaning in, nods, quirky habits) -rate of speech -speech accents (we speak more "southern" "blacker" or "whiter") Outcome 1: For you: You will feel and match their joy/ pain (true empathy) Outcome 2: For them: They will unconsciously like you more because of "similarities/connection" (called similarity theory) But professional sales people will often consciously FAKE connection. Note: REAL mirroring only happens unconsciously when "Interpersonal Connection" is felt by both parties
Lying: Lying cues- Individual "Tells"
If you are really good, you can identify nonverbal "tells" Tells are unconscious and nervous behaviors that appear (pop up) when we lie (almost all have them) Key: different in each individual Baseball pitchers, boxers and football quarterbacks will "telegraph" their intentions -opposing teams try to discover (via film) and exploit in game -Apollo Robins is really good at finding each person's tell and used to win game show by figuring out host's tells and watching audiences reactions to answers
Territory and Public Space: What is the music theory of "Rosy Remembering" and how is it best used by store owners?
Important nostalgia formed: works between ages 12 to 21 When music reminds us of happier (more nostalgia) times (we spend 17% more). Why we spend more with xmas music because music reminds us of family so we spend $$ and actually feel happy Why? Nostalgia = less concerned and more love for people (we are more willing to buy stuff) Strategy: define your store's "target" audience (music from 70s, 90s or the 2010s) and then play their nostalgic music
Territory and Public Space: How has Muzak been used to manipulate customers and workers?
In the 1970s, muzak began to be used to control (anesthetize) the masses, especially in crowded contexts and high-anxiety situations -two of the most popular: to relieve anxiety in elevator and telephone "on hold" To manipulate workers: -Muzak Inc. pioneered "audio architecture" to manipulate worker productivity -Stage 1: slower tempo -Stage 2: medium tempo -Stage 3: faster tempo (& louder and brassier) -Stage 4: followed by 15 minutes of silence (protects against "listener fatigue) -Repeat: over and over for next 8 hours -Music to create optimally productive workers for a full 8 to 12 hour work day