COM - 120 // CH. 11

Conflict Management Stages

(1) Preparation, (2) The Actual Conflict, (3) Propose Solutions, (4) Need to Affirm Each Other, (5) Test the Solution, (6) Evaluate, (7) Incorporate

Avoiding - Conflict Style

I lose, you lose; passive-aggressive communication

Accommodating - Conflict Style

I lose, you win; non-assertive

Compromising - Conflict Style

I win and lose, you win and lose

Competing - Conflict Style

I win, you lose; aggressive communication

Collaborating - Conflict Style

I win, you win; assertive

Preparation

Stage 1 of Conflict Management; set the stage; try to wait and right in private, both agree on a good time to talk about it, understand what the conflict is actually about, don't fight about something you can't resolve, don't drag up things from the past

The Actual Conflict

Stage 2 of Conflict Management; define the problem; content and relationship issues, problem in specifics, focus on the present

Propose Solution

Stage 3 of Conflict Management; brainstorm ideas, decide what is the best idea for both of you, set a time limit

Need to Affirm Each Other

Stage 4 of Conflict Management; say/do positive things about the relationship, end of the face-to-face part of the right

Test the Solution

Stage 5 of Conflict Management; put the solution to play

Evaluate

Stage 6 of Conflict Management; have to ask "is the solution working" IF not, then pick another solution from stage 3

Incorporate

Stage 7 of Conflict Management; once a solution is found, stick with it, make it permanent

Interpersonal Conflict

a disagreement between or among interdependent individuals; have to have some form of relationship and incompatible goals

Non-Negotiation

a special type of avoidance, refusing to discuss conflict or to listen to the other peron's argument

Gunnysacking

bring up stuff from the past (also called sandbagging)

Conflict Styles

competing, avoiding, accommodating, collaborating, compromising

Principles of Interpersonal Conflict

conflict is inevitable, can center on a variety of issues (intimacy, power, personal flaws, personal distance/withdraw, social, distrust), can occur in all communication forms (verbally, online, nonverbally), can be negative or positive, can be influenced by culture or gender

Conflict Strategies

goals, emotional state, assessment of the situation, personality and competence, family history

Blame

instead of focusing on a solution to a problem, trying to affix blame on the other person

Emotional State

its better to wait until the emotions aren't running high and things have calmed down

Goals

knowing what you are aiming for with the conflict

Face-Attacking

not the same thing as avoidance, sponsors defensiveness, beltlining, blame

Assessment of the Situation

the attitudes and beliefs about what is fair and equitable will influence your readiness to acknowledge the fairness in the other person's position

Obvious Avoidance

trying to really not be around a person

Beltlining

use your knowledge about the other person, things they're sensitive about, to attack them for specific issue

Agressiveness

verbal aggressiveness to intimidate, attacking their character, posting negative comments or sayings

Family History

we tend to model out conflict behaviors off of what we were brought up with

Argumentativeness

willingness to engage in conflict resolution, expressing interest in the other person's position

Personality and Competence

work with your personality to be more/less assertive in a conflict