Comm 111 Terms

How Needlessly Hurtful/Honest is it?

-Assertion: high honesty and low needless hurtfulness (share your feelings; best option) -Non-assertion: low honesty and low needless hurtfulness -Direct aggression: high honesty and high needless hurtfulness -Passive aggression: low honesty and high needless hurtfulness (the worst behavior of them all and the most counterproductive)

"Glengarry Glen Ross" Video Clip Example of Power

-Emphasizes his money, wealth, income a lot -Stands over them physically -Language is direct aggressive and dominant -Says he has control of their jobs -Says they are all fired, threatens them -Belittles them, insults them, yells at them -Control the resources (keeps leads away from them) -Attacks their masculinity and implies that they are not really men -Does not directly answer their questions or give his name

"The Neurology of Free Will" Reading

-Angie Bachmann starting gambling to relieve her tensions and went into extreme debt -Brian Thomas thought someone had broken in and actually strangled his wife -Thomas argued that he had been unconscious/sleeping when he killed his wife so should not be held responsible for his deed (was having sleep terrors and acted out of ingrained habit) -Thomas was guilty of nothing more than being human, the lawyer argued, and reacting in the way his neurology forced him to behave. -At the time of the killing the defendant was asleep and his mind had no control over what his body was doing; the jury deemed Thomas not guilty -Same excuses can be made for Bachmann -She was also following deeply ingrained habits that made it increasingly difficult for decision making to intervene -What we found was that, neurologically speaking, pathological gamblers got more excited about winning. When the symbols lined up, even though they didn't actually win any money, the areas in their brains related to emotion and reward were much more active than in non- pathological gamblers -People with gambling problems got a mental high from the near misses—which, Habib hypothesizes, is probably why they gamble for so much longer than everyone else -Real neurological differences impact how pathological gamblers process information—which helps explain why Angie Bachmann lost control every time she walked into a casino -Brian Thomas murdered his wife. Angie Bachmann squandered her inheritance. Is there a difference in how society should assign responsibility? -Thomas's lawyer argued that his client wasn't culpable for his wife's death because he acted unconsciously, automatically, his reaction cued by the belief that an intruder was attacking -Bachmann was also driven by powerful cravings. She may have made a choice that first day when she got dressed up and decided to spend the afternoon in a casino. But years later, after she was so desperate to fight the urges that she moved to a state where gambling wasn't legal, she was no longer making conscious decisions. "Historically, in neuroscience, we've said that people with brain damage lose some of their free will," said Habib. "But when a pathological gambler sees a casino, it seems very similar. It seems like they're acting without choice." -We can choose our habits, once we know how. Everything we know about habits, is that any of them can be changed, if you understand how they function. -So though both Angie Bachmann and Brian Thomas made variations on the same claim—that they acted out of habit, that they had no control over their actions because those behaviors unfolded automatically—it seems fair that they should be treated differently. It is just that Angie Bachmann should be held accountable and that Brian Thomas should go free because Thomas never knew the patterns that drove him to kill existed in the first place— much less that he could master them. Bachmann, on the other hand, was aware of her habits -If you believe you can change, the change becomes real. This is the real power of habit: the insight that your habits are what you choose them to be **Bachmann was aware of her gambling habits, so had the power to potentially change them. Thomas was unconscious while his habits occurred so he did not know about them and thus did not have the power to change them.

"Introduction and the Theory of Thin Slices" Reading

-Getty took fake Kouros statue -felt an "intuitive repulsion," they were absolutely right. In the first two seconds of looking—in a single glance— they were able to understand more about the essence of the statue than the team at the Getty was able to understand after fourteen months. -Iowa experiment: What the Iowa scientists found is that gamblers started generating stress responses to the red decks by the tenth card, forty cards before they were able to say that they had a hunch about what was wrong with those two decks -the gamblers figured the game out before they realized they had figured the game out: they began making the necessary adjustments long before they were consciously aware of what adjustments they were supposed to be making -Our brain uses two very different strategies to make sense of the situation. The first is the conscious strategy. We think about what we've learned, and eventually we come up with an answer. -There's a second strategy that operates more quickly. It operates—at least at first—entirely below the surface of consciousness. It sends its messages through weirdly indirect channels, such as the sweat glands in the palms of our hands. -The part of our brain that leaps to conclusions like this is called the adaptive unconscious: a kind of giant computer that quickly and quietly processes a lot of the data we need in order to keep functioning as human beings -decisions made very quickly can be every bit as good as decisions made cautiously and deliberately -Our instinctive reactions often have to compete with all kinds of other interests and emotions and sentiments ****-thin slicing: refers to the ability of our unconscious to find patterns in situations and behavior based on very narrow slices of experience -at only three minutes of a couple talking, they could still predict with fairly impressive accuracy who was going to get divorced and who was going to make it. -Predicting divorce, like tracking Morse Code operators, is pattern recognition. -Gottman is so good at thin-slicing and predicting which couples will get divorced because he looks for one emotion: contempt -What those observers of dorm rooms were doing was simply a layperson's version of John Gottman's analysis. They were looking for the "fist" of those college students. They gave themselves fifteen minutes to drink things in and get a hunch about the person. They came at the question sideways, using the indirect evidence of the students' dorm rooms, and their decision-making process was simplified: they weren't distracted at all by the kind of confusing, irrelevant information that comes from a face-to-face encounter. They thin-sliced. And what happened? The same thing that happened with Gottman: those people with the clipboards were really good at making predictions. -If we couldn't thin-slice then Apollo 13 would be robbed of its drama and Splash would not be funny. And if we could not make sense of complicated situations in a flash, basketball would be chaotic, and bird-watchers would be helpless. -The surgeons who had never been sued spent more than three minutes longer with each patient than those who had been sued did -Could predict which doctors would get sued solely by the tone of voice they had with their patients

Presidential Image

-One of the keys to success for presidents is image -> need to be someone who people can look up to -Image and appearance are very important -i.e. George Washington's public image was a strong leader -i.e. Lincoln's image was that he was a working man who understood their problems -now with the advent of TV, physical image is also very important -Part of the official responsibilities of the president is to look good and be inspiring -One of the jobs that the president does is that he is the American head of state, so he is responsible for being a symbol of American culture and society, for being a role model and inspiring us, a reminder of what is great about America -Different presidents project an image based on what they think is important, what kind of person they are

Rise of Social Media

-Particularly aggressive version of this -Now you have 100 million niche channels, with every person as their own content provider -Social media is subject to the bubble as we tend to associate with people like us and Facebook's algorithms show us what we want to read -Facebook allows for the propagation of false news stories

Changes in the Media

-People used to get their news from newspapers and most cities got their news from newspapers -Each city had about 2 newspapers, so had to appeal to many people and played it fairly middle-of-the-road (up to the 60s/70s) -Since the mid 1970's (after Watergate), the media landscape became much more fractured -New media emerged (the internet, cable TV, etc.) -Quite a lot of money in reaching a niche audience -People tend to gravitate toward the news sources that tell them what they want to hear and what they want to believe -> most people end up in a bubble that affirms what you already believe and does not expose you to other ideas -Became much more acceptable to mock and satirize political figures (i.e. Saturday Night Live) -President treated with much less respect than in previous generations -rise of social media

"Why Spock Could Never Have Evolved" Reading

-Spock was devoid of emotion -negative view of emotion: old perspective that thought that emotions hinder intelligent action -author advocates for the positive view of emotions: emotions are vital for intelligent action -does not say that emotions are ALWAYS useful -The best recipe for success is a mixture of reason and emotion, not reason alone -If the advantages of having emotions never outweighed the disadvantages, emotional creatures would never have evolved in the first place. -It is easy to see how some of the basic emotions such as fear and anger helped our ancestors to survive -two routes of fear: The first of these corresponds to the basic emotion. It is very quick, but often makes mistakes. The second is slower, but more accurate. Ideally, the two pathways work together to get us the best of both worlds. -we learn joy and distress from our own experiences and the experiences of others -On the one hand, the internal feelings and the bodily changes of emotion cause the organism to pursue or avoid particular courses of action. On the other hand, the external expressions of emotion provide information to others, allowing them to learn from our experiences. -Emotional learning is a combination of environmental inputs, and an innate disposition to learn some things rather than others -Not all emotional expressions are designed to allow other animals to learn vicariously. Some emotional expressions are not honest signals of the underlying emotion, but acts of deception (i.e. cat's hair standing up when it is afraid to scare off danger) -Other basic emotions such as joy and distress may have come later, but they are still very old, and thus shared by many animals other than humans -higher cognitive emotions could be no more than sixty million years old, which is very young compared to the 500 or so million years for which the vertebrate brain have been around -argues that it is actually advantageous to have the capacity for guilt, because people who are known to have a conscience are more likely to be trusted by others. -handcuff principle: Promises and threats are credible only if there is some evidence that you will carry them out even if it costs you to do so. You must show that you are 'handcuffed' in some way to the execution of the threat or promise (In the case of guilt, the handcuff is visibly indicated by physiological cues such as blushing) -During the course of human evolution, the advantages of this emotion have clearly outweighed the costs -The optimal state of an emotion involves having just the right amount of it, neither too little nor too much (emotions are still useful today, just not too much) -Too much jealousy is a bad thing, but so is too little. How many people would feel their partner truly loved them if they never showed any signs of jealousy at all? -***Emotional intelligence involves striking a balance between emotion and reason in which neither is completely in control; emotional intelligence implies that you are able to identify your own emotions and the emotions of others -The moral capacities that most of us have, and that psychopaths lack, are based not on a set of rules like the instructions in a computer program, but on emotions like sympathy, guilt, and pride. The development of moral capacities in children is, therefore, not likely to be helped by teaching them a set of commandments or precepts, unless their emotional capacities are also well nurtured.

"Bush/Obama Rumors and Presidential Images" Reading

-There is a long history in American politics of outrageous or provocative stories being spread about presidents and presidential candidates -With the rise of the Internet, e-mail, Twitter, blogs, YouTube, etc., it is easier to spread this sort of information than ever before -a selection of stories and rumors about George W. Bush and Barack Obama that were disseminated via email over the course of the past 12 years (Every one of these messages is either largely or entirely false; the vast majority of people who forwarded these emails believed them to be true) -ex: President Bush Has Lowest IQ of all Presidents of past 50 Years! -images make powerful suggestions

"48 Laws of Power" Reading

-Trying to expose you to a range of thinking that goes back over thousands of years -Overview of intellectual tradition -Thinking has changed a lot over time -One of the laws: "Make other people come to you; use bait if necessary."

Blake in "Glengarry Glen Ross" Tactics

-Uses hard tactics, uses both rational and non-rational tactics, and unilateral tactics

"Glengarry Glen Ross" 6 Bases of Power

-Uses: 1) coercive power (stands over them) 2) reward power (if they have good sales they can keep their jobs and make money) 3) legitimate power (creates feelings of obligations to the company and their families) 4) referent power (be a great man, salesman rather than a loser if you sell) 5) expert power (he is an expert in sales so he knows better than them) 6) informational power (has the Glengarry Glen Ross leads that they do not have)

Chart with emotions from "Inside Out"

-We have five basic emotions that combine to form more complex emotions -Joy, sadness, disgust, fear, anger -But could argue that this is too simple -Emotions are something that have only been studied in a serious way for a fairly short period of time (still in the infancy of studying/understanding this complex topic)

Rhyme-as-Reason Effect

-We tend to believe things more if they rhyme -i.e. more people agreed with "What sobriety conceals, alcohol reveals." than "What sobriety conceals, alcohol shows to everyone." -I.e. OJ Simpson statement "What the glove does not fit, you must acquit." -Advertisement statements are often based on this

Women and power

-Women tend to be much more tactical about their use of power and tend to shift back and forth more frequently -If a woman is Machiavellian, people will say she is a bitch -But if she is soft, non-rational, and bilateral all of the time, then she is a pushover -Because woman have societal expectations they are dealing with, run the risk of not shifting from one tactic to another

Personal attacks in Politics

-a presidential candidate who has a good public image is hard to fight back against -only way to fight back against someone's image is through personal attacks -something of a natural progression that as image becomes more prominent in the TV era, personal attacks have more prominent

Lens Theory of Conflict

-argues that whenever we end up in conflict with someone, our approach to the conflict is shaped by three different lenses/levels of perception: 1) First Lens: Self (in any conflict, we have certain ideas about ourselves, our motivations, our behaviors) -i.e. in a roommate cleanliness conflict, you may believe that you are doing all of the work and you are a neat and reasonable person -i.e. in a conflict where you get cut off in traffic, you believe that you are obeying the law, your time is important, you would never do something like that, you are a good driver -usually positive ideas that deflect blame 2) Second Lens: Other -i.e. your roommate is lazy, dirty -i.e. guy that cuts you off is selfish, a bad driver, careless 3) Third Lens: Relationship -You have certain beliefs, understandings, assumptions, about how you relate to that other person -i.e. you may think you are a superior individual, the relationship may be threatened, you do not want to come off as overbearing -i.e. It is okay I flip him off because I will never see him again/we have no relationship, we are both entitled to this road and equal and he is no better than me

Emotional Intelligence (EI or EQ)

-attempt to judge how well you know your own emotional responses, but in particular how well you understand the emotional responses of others -Argued that this is more valuable than pure intelligence (EQ more important than IQ)

Generally speaking, the average human being when assessing our own successes...

-judges them as internal, stable, and global explanation -when we assess our own successes, we tend to make them as big and general as possible -magnify the significance of positive events and what they pertain for your future

Generally speaking, the average human being when assessing our own failures...

-judges/blames them on external factors, unstable, and specific

Agreement Bias

-most people enter into a negotiation really wanting to make a deal, and you can use that to your advantage -ex: we are negotiating over the price of a car -you offer $20,000 and I was looking to get $25,000 and I understand that you need a car because your car requires a lot of gas and is on the verge of breaking (focusing on the other person's pressure and what they are trying to achieve) -ex: you are subletting a room in my apartment and we are having disagreements over the chores -I might say that is quite a lot of chores, but I want to work this out because if we don't you won't have anywhere to live in a few months when your lease is up

"One Reason Women Fare Worse in Negotiation? People Lie to Them" Reading

-research study involving a faux real estate deal negotiation -in the study found that people were significantly more likely to blatantly lie to women -participants perceived women as less competent than men -Suggests that it may help women in negotiations to signal their competence and confidence. She recommends showing up prepared, asking questions, and scrutinizing terms throughout the process. -Ultimately, encouraging women to act like men is a losing battle; the assertive moves that make men appear competent in the workplace backfire for women, who are perceived as cold and bossy instead. The problem doesn't lie in women's actual skills—it lies in stereotypes about what we're capable of.

The Machiavellian Trio

-the most brutal way to exercise power -Hard, non-rational, and unilateral tactics -Very effective short-term strategy (gets things done), but a less effective long-term strategy (loses its effectiveness and alienates people)

False Consensus

-we tend to assume that others think exactly as we do -i.e. if we would be willing to yell at others to go to Wolfgang Puck's restaurant, we tend to think others would be too -i.e. "How could someone vote for Donald Trump? Don't they know this, this, and this?"

Grouping Perception

-we tend to judge things based on what they are grouped with -i.e. picture of young man: if you are given four pictures of UCLA students, more likely to notice the student component; If you are given four pictures of Asians, more likely to notice the Asian component -i.e. if Michael Jordan wears a pair of shoes, automatically makes you think that they make you good at basketball

Direct Aggression

-where you put your aggressive behavior right out there -needlessly hurting someone and are honest -i.e. you curse someone off, spray someone with pepper spray -appropriate when you are fighting off an attacker, dealing with someone dangerous, but not appropriate with a police officer or professor

2) Who should go first in a negotiation? Who should name the first price/condition?

A. Knowledge states are equal -If Harry and Voldemort are in a negotiation and both of them know about the basic value of what they are negotiating (same level of knowledge), or they both do not know the basic value (same level of ignorance): Harry would want to go first -Harry would set the anchor and create a frame for the negotiation that he is happy with -If Rick from Pawn Stars is negotiating with someone who is also an expert, Rick would want to go first in the negotiation B. Knowledge states are unequal -Harry thinks that he knows more than Voldemort or less than Voldemort, Harry should let Voldemort go first -Reason: Harry wants Voldemort to go first because he hopes that Voldemort makes a negotiating error -Harry knows the value and Voldemort does not, Harry hopes that Voldemort offers a price that is too low -Harry does not know the value and Voldemort does, Harry hopes that Voldemort thinks Harry does know and gives Harry a generally fair price

"The Blame Game" Reading Main Idea

-Advises someone to be more critical of yourself and your internal factors and less critical of others and be aware of their external factors in a conflict -other people, things, and events do not have control over you -accept control and responsibility for your thoughts, feelings, and actions-things that are under your control -empathize, externalize, and make excuses for others -try to view your problems as situations that you can explain, rather than complain and blame -acknowledge that you have control: you are not forced to do anything that you don't want to do -realize that failures are steps to success: -judge favorably: change your inclination from assume and accuse to excuse and explain -we tend to externalize our mistakes and internalize other people's -explain don't complain -believe in something: believe that you have some kind of purpose in life

Attribution Theory

-How we explain the events in our lives to ourselves -How do we make sense of it, understand the causes -We assess/judge behaviors along three different axes: -1) Was the cause internal (because of me) or external (outside of me) -ex: internal: I got a good grade because I studied a lot, external: I got a good grade because the professor was easy 2) Was the cause unstable (a rare or limited occurrence) or stable (something that will be true often) -Ex: Unstable: the professor sucked, it was a late night class, stable: I did well because I am smart (will always be smart) -3) Was the cause global (will manifest itself in all aspects of my life) or specific (only applies to this situation) -Ex: global: I did poorly in the class because I am not organized, specific: I did badly because there were multiple choice tests and I do not do well on those

Vierordt's Law

-Human beings are very bad at estimating time -If you are a caveman, you largely only have a need for one distinction (was it recent, or wasn't it?) -We tend to overestimate shorter periods of time and tend to underestimate longer periods of time

Passive Aggressive

-If you are hiding your concerns, putting them out there in a dishonest way -needlessly hurting someone in a dishonest way -Hiding your true feelings and true intent -I.e. backhanded compliment ("I think that it is fantastic that you don't buy into that propaganda that you have to shower everyday" but you are really saying that you stink) -This is still intentionally hurtful behavior, but you are not being honest about how you think -i.e. teacher does not like a student so ignores them when they put their hand up you don't call on them -I.e. if you are angry at your mom and don't tell her but instead borrow the car and use up all of the gas -i.e. rolling your eyes

Notion that racism is natural

-It is very common in our society to have a positive point of view that says that if we progress enough as a society, racism will eventually go away (not correct) -Racism taps into some very deep-seated and evolutionary dependent tendencies (fear those who are different from us) Compare racism to cancer it is natural, but not good -Cancer will not go away if we wish hard enough; it takes treatment and do things to avoid getting cancer -Must be mindful of yourself and the behavior of others so that you do not make mistakes -Extreme forms of racism are not unacceptable and illegal (discriminatory laws, slavery, black-face performances are not acceptable) -Overt racism is now socially unacceptable, but there is a certain natural impulse there that there is a tendency to show through

"The Decay of Power" Reading

-Power is decaying -It is easier to get, harder to use, and easier to lose -Erosion, and in some cases the disappearance, of barriers that previously kept the world of champions small, tight-knit, and stable. -Geopolitical: big military power delivers less than it once did; increasing ability of the weaker party to inflict casualties on its opponent at lower cost to itself -Business: even the vaunted 1 percent in the United States are not immune to sudden shifts in wealth, power, and status; a simple count of the US and global top five hundred companies that did not exist ten years ago shows how relative newcomers are displacing traditional corporate behemoths -Over the course of the last three decades, barriers to power have weakened at a very fast pace -Fundamental explanation as to why barriers to power have become more feeble has to do with the transformations in such diverse factors as rapid economic growth in many poor countries, migratory patterns, medicine and healthcare, education, and even attitudes and cultural norms—in short, with changes in the scope, state, and potential of human lives -What is changing the world has less to do with the competition between megaplayers than with the rise of micropowers and their ability to challenge the megaplayers -Power is the ability to direct or prevent the current or future actions of other groups and individuals -Decades of knowledge and experience accumulated by political parties, corporations, churches, militaries, and cultural institutions face the threat of dissipation. And the more slippery power becomes, the more our lives become governed by short-term incentives and fears, and the less we can chart our actions and plan for the future -Can lead to alienation ***-Power is easier to get, harder to use, and easier to lose -Over the course of the last three decades, barriers to power have weakened at a very fast pace due to increased education opportunities and living standards -less to do with the competition between megaplayers than with the rise of micropowers and their ability to challenge the megaplayers -the more slippery power becomes, the more our lives become governed by short-term incentives and fears, and the less we can chart our actions and plan for the future -can lead to alienation

"I Think You're Fat" Reading

-Radical Honesty Movement founded by psychotherapist named Brad Blanton -He says everybody would be happier if we just stopped lying. Tell the truth, all the time. -We should have no filter between our thoughts and our mouth -New York journalist attempted to try out Radical Honesty -Journalist: "That's one thing I've noticed: when I am radically honest, people become radically honest themselves." -Journalist likes some parts of radical honesty (like honesty about his own flaws), but not other parts (honesty about other people's flaws)

Self-Deception

-Self-deception is almost unquestionably the most effective form of lie -Lying is hard, detecting lies is also hard -Generally speaking, liars have about a 70-80% success rate -In the short term, a liar can get away with a lot, but not in the long run -My lie works best if I believe it which why we engage in self-deception

Our language shapes our perceptions of things

-Spanish word for bridge is masculine so describe Golden Gate Bridge with masculine adjectives -German words for bridge is feminine so describe Golden Gate Bridge with feminine adjectives

View of Stress in the Military Then vs. Now

-The military regarded stress as being essentially equivalent to a cold -If you wait it out, the body will sort itself out -However, stress is not like a cold, is much more like a gunshot wound (especially extreme stress) -Consequences of this philosophy? many soldiers were inflicted with severe PTSD -Military has embraced new concepts about stress and new strategies

Emotions and Politics

-The most effective campaign adds evoke emotions (i.e. Obama: hope, Trump: American pride) -Hope and fear are particularly powerful emotions

Non-assertion

-Where you do not put your thoughts/feelings out there at all, you keep them to yourself What are some situations in which non-assertion is counterproductive? -In your romantic relationships a long-term recipe for disaster -When a situation puts other people in danger (i.e. you are about to take a drink of something poisonous and I know, I should tell you) -Frustration with a roommate What are some situations in which non-assertions is better? -If you have a complaint about your boss, probably best to still not tell them to ensure your job safety -If someone you will never see again is acting like a jerk in a store, best to just let it go

"Finally Someone Who Thinks Like Me" Reading

-Woman who supports Trump -Was hospitalized for "homicidal ideation" -To Melanie, this was the glory of the 2016 presidential election. The truth about so many things was finally being accepted, from the highest levels of the Republican Party on down to the grass roots of America, where so many people like her didn't care what some fact-checker said -After she left the hospital, she campaigned for Trump -Born and raised in small-town America and worked for the railroad -thought the political system was corrupt (decided after her failed lawsuit for sexual assault) -very anxious -Believed all the conspiracies about Obama and Michelle and looked up many sources that supported these claims -Could find things to support any of her claims on the internet

"Lying" Article

-You should NEVER lie (even little white lies are harmful) -Studies show that lying leads to less satisfying relationships -By lying, we deny our friends access to reality, and their resulting ignorance often harms them in ways we did not anticipate -When we presume to lie for the benefit of others, we have decided that we are the best judges of how much they should understand about their own lives -To keep secrets can put us in a position where we will be forced to choose between lying and revealing privileged information. To agree to keep a secret is to assume a burden. -In those circumstances where we deem it obviously necessary to lie, we have generally determined that the person to be deceived is both dangerous and unreachable by any recourse to the truth. In other words, we have judged the prospects of establishing a genuine relationship with him to be nonexistent. (ex: A known murderer is looking for a boy whom you are now sheltering in your home) -A willingness to be honest—especially about things that one might be expected to conceal—often leads to much more gratifying exchanges with other human beings -One of the greatest problems for the liar is that he must keep track of his lies (the liar must remember what he said, and to whom, and must take care to maintain his falsehoods in the future) -We seem to be predisposed to remember statements as true even after they have been disconfirmed -By lying, we deny others our view of the world. And our dishonesty not only influences the choices they make, it often determines the choices they can make—in ways we cannot always predict. Every lie is an assault on the autonomy of those we lie to. **-By lying, we deny our friends access to reality, and their resulting ignorance often harms them in ways we did not anticipate -When we presume to lie for the benefit of others, we have decided that we are the best judges of how much they should understand about their own lives

Mind Compensates for Shadows

-i.e. blue/black vs. white/gold dress -i.e. two squares of light grey and dark grey are actually the same color

Negativity Bias

-if human beings are presented with an ambiguous picture/words/behavior, generally speaking they will see a negative interpretation -Ex: most human beings see the glass as half empty -Due to evolution: back in the day, if you saw a grizzly bear 500 feet away and you are not armed, you should stay away because if that grizzly bear is hungry he will attack you -No upside to embracing the positive side when it is wrong (safer to embrace the negative)

"Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers" Reading

-stress can make us sick -stress physiology—the study of how the body responds to stressful events -For animals like zebras, the most upsetting things in life are acute physical crises -An organism can also be plagued by chronic physical challenges. Drought, famine, parasites, that sort of unpleasantness. -we humans live well enough and long enough, and are smart enough, to generate all sorts of stressful events purely in our heads -if you are that zebra running for your life, or that lion sprinting for your meal, your body's physiological response mechanisms are superbly adapted for dealing with such short-term physical emergencies. For the vast majority of beasts on this planet, stress is about a short-term crisis, after which it's either over with or you're over with. When we sit around and worry about stressful things, we turn on the same physiological responses—but they are potentially a disaster when provoked chronically. -stress-related disease emerges, predominantly, out of the fact that we so often activate a physiological system that has evolved for responding to acute physical emergencies, but we turn it on for months on end, worrying about mortgages, relationships, and promotions. -A stressor is anything in the outside world that knocks you out of homeostatic balance, and the stress-response is what your body does to reestablish homeostasis. -unlike less cognitively sophisticated species, we can turn on the stress-response by thinking about potential stressors that may throw us out of homeostatic balance far in the future Seyle Rat Experiment: -The body has a surprisingly similar set of responses (which he called the general adaptation syndrome, but which we now call the stress-response) to a broad array of stressors. -If stressors go on for too long, they can make you sick. -The second idea in homeostasis is that you reach that ideal set point through some local regulatory mechanism, whereas allostasis recognizes that any given set point can be regulated in a zillion different ways, each with its own consequences -body can also make allostatic changes in anticipation of a set point that is likely to go awry -a stressor can be defined as anything that throws your body out of allostatic balance and the stress-response is your body's attempt to restore allostasis ****-difference between zebra and human stress (physical vs. psychological stress) ****-emergence of stress-related diseases: It is not so much that the stress-response runs out, but rather, with sufficient activation, that the stress- response can become more damaging than the stressor itself, especially when the stress is purely psychological (we are activating systems that are meant to relieve short-term physical stress, but we activate it over a long period as responses to psychological stressors)

Self-perception Theory

-we tend to give ourselves more credit than we are entitled to, and others less credit than they are entitled to -i.e. 92% of people think they are above average drivers

Fundamental Attribution Error

-we tend to give the other person in the conflict too much blame and we tend to give ourselves too little -The most pronounced tendency: when I assess a conflict, I will tend to attribute it to internal factors for the other person and external factors for me (focus on their internal contributions and our external excuses) -We tend to accept too little blame, and the blame we do accept we attribute to external factors -Ex: We had that argument because she is unreasonable and always angry and the only thing that I had to do with it was that I was a little crankier than usual because I have a headache from the heat today.

We Make Three Basic Choices as we Exercise Our Power

1) Balance between hard/soft tactics: Do we use hard or soft tactics or both -Muscle-flexing, threats, etc. vs. persuasion and charm -Ex: Arguing with professor about quiz grades -Hard: Give me a better grade or I am going to Jane! -Soft: Hey I am here to talk about my quiz and was wondering if we could work together to improve my score 2) Rational and non-rational tactics: reasoning and logic vs. emotion and misinformation -do we appeal to logic, or emotion, or both? -Rational: These are the reasons I feel I deserved a better grade on this quiz -Non-rational: Start crying and saying your parents will be disappointed in your grade 3) Unilateral vs. bilateral tactics: Imposition of outcome vs. collaboration and negotiation -Unilateral: You have 10 seconds to change the grade or Jane is getting involved -Bilateral: You took a point away, I think it is correct, can we work together so I can get a ½ point back? Another example of unilateral: Kid asking for a toy and parent simply saying no. In a bilateral decision, parent may say, "if you want a toy, what will you do to earn the money for the toy?" "I will clean the house." "If you clean the house well, I will buy you a toy."

Five Bases/Sources of Power

1) Coercive Power: power derived from the use of strength (physical, financial, technological, institutional) -Ex: Putin uses coercive power when he invades somewhere with his military -Ex: Husband that abuses his wife to establish power over her -Ex: Isis and their violence in the Middle East 2) Reward Power: power derived from the granting of resources or rewards -Ex: bribery -Ex: Your boss giving promotions, raises, paychecks -Ex: professor giving grades -Ex: Parents saying if you do chores you will get an allowance 3) Legitimate Power: the power derived from the ability to create feelings of obligation/guilt -Ex: Parents telling you to be a doctor or else they will be disappointed in you -Ex: Charity commercial with starving animals saying, "You don't want these animals to starve right? Just give one dollar a day." -Ex: Saying to a friend, "I came to your birthday so it would be nice if you came to mine." 4) Referent Power: power derived from the ability to make another feel accepted or respected -Ex: When you are accepted into UCLA, you are part of a select elite so UCLA has referent power -Ex: being knighted in the English Monarchy (Person knighting you has referent power) -Ex: getting into a fraternity/sorority (fraternity/sorority has referent power) -Ex: religion saying you are one of the chosen people (religion has referent power) 5) Expert Power: power derived from special mastery or expertise -Ex: doctors -Ex: Expert testifying in court -Ex: Lawyers -Ex: College professors 6) Raven came out with a Sixth Base of Power: Informational Power (Power derived from use or misuse of information) -Ex: Google -Ex: Wikileaks -Ex: News outlets -Ex: Government -Ex: I know that you are cheating on your husband, so you have to do this for me **On quiz may ask to give an example of something where two different kinds of power are used at once.

Military has embraced new concepts about stress

1) Concept: the brain is a muscle, not a light bulb -it can be strained, but also worked out and strengthened 2) Resiliency, not toughness -Stress is not about toughness; need to focus on coping and resiliency, not ignoring -It is not about who is toughest, it is about who manages their stress the best 3) One size does NOT FIT ALL -different people manage stress differently

Five situations in which self-deception is particularly likely:

1) Denial of Ongoing Deception -Rationalizing it so you do not believe that you are really lying or that your lies are harmful -Ex: If you are cheating on your husband, you are going to have to lie quite a lot -It is not easy for most people to get away with that many lies, so people will tend to find a way to convince themselves that they are not really doing something wrong, that they are not really lying and are doing the right thing -Might tell myself that my husband does not treat me well and does not deserve to have sex with me, so this affair is okay -Might tell myself that my husband has stopped having sex with me, but I don't want to leave him either 2) Unconscious Deception -When you lie or do something dishonest without being conscious of it -Ex: You say that today is November 2nd, but it is November 1st (you do not know that you are wrong) -Ex: accidentally take stapler when you pack up from the office (Did not attend to engage in theft) -Do not feel that you did anything wrong 3) Self-promotion -Consistent with Attribution Theory, it is human nature to focus on our strong points and sometimes we oversell those points (sometimes we are expected to, i.e. a job interview) -Ex: When Donald Trump says I'm worth $12 billion, he's rich, but this is not so true (but he believes it, because the Trump brand is so valuable) -Ex: May oversell yourself on a date -Ex: may dress up in a way that is not really representative of who you are 4) Biased Social Theory -idea that you have about the world, another person, your business, your career, etc. -Once you have concluded that X is true, you tend to ignore data that disproves X and pay too much attention to data that says X is true -Ex: Republicans are bad people (Democrat would pay attention to stories of Republicans doing bad things and ignore stories about Republicans doing good things) -Ex: I have a great relationship with my boyfriend so my friends are wrong when they say he is cheating on me 5) Fictitious Narratives of Intention -Most people do not think of themselves as bad people -Especially seen in politics -Whenever we do something, there are always multiple reasons why we do it (some more honorable, and some less so) -Tend to emphasize the more honorable intentions/reasons and underemphasize the less honorable intentions/reasons -Ex: You want to be a doctor because you want to help people and make a lot of money, but when people ask why you want to be a doctor you just state that you want to help people -Ex: you donate a lot to a charity in part because you want to help the cause, but you also want the credit and the tax deduction (but do not share that as your reason) ***What makes these possible is that we do not entirely believe that they are lies -There is part truth there that makes it possible to sell the lies and engage in self-deception

How to Spot a Liar

1) Emotional Cues -Is a person is nervous, sweaty, anxious -If they are displaying any emotion that is not contextually appropriate (jovial in a serious situation or serious in a jovial situation) 2) Attempted Control (i.e. micro expressions) -When people know that they are about to lie, they try to control their facial expressions because they know their expressions may give up their deception -not easy to fake a facial expression (especially the eyes) -Also, your subconscious mind generally works faster than your conscious mind -Almost always when someone lies, they flash a truthful expression (microexpression) before they adopt a false expression -If the person's expression changes noticeably after about a second, cue that they might be lying 3) Cognitive errors -Lying is actually quite difficult and it is hard to maintain a plausible lie -There are certain cognitive mistakes that liars are particularly likely to make if they are not telling the truth

Why you get into a car accident (Attribution Theory example)

1) Internal explanation: I was driving too fast, I was texting -External explanation: My tire burst, the other person ran a red light, the weather was bad 2) Stable explanation: I am a bad driver (internal and stable), I have poor eye sight, LA roads are always dangerous (external and stable) -Unstable explanation: I was drunk (internal and unstable), there was something wrong with the car (external and unstable) 3) Global: LA is a dangerous place to live (affects more than just your driving), I am careless/reckless -Specific: I am a bad driver (only affects your driving), there was a bug in your car (does not affect any other area of your life)

New strategies for managing stress in the military

1) Mindfulness: encouraging soldiers to be mindful of their triggers, what is going on in their life (try to remove the triggers as much as you can) 2) Avoid the broken window (small events leading to larger events) -do what it takes to dial things back down so you don't run the risk of continued escalation (i.e. grab water, take deep breaths) 3) Be careful about your assumptions -should try to avoid your operating assumptions that would provoke a particularly negative response -i.e. someone cuts you off in traffic and you are attempted to assume that anyone that cuts you off is a selfish jerk (which would make you upset). If your boss calls you back to work 2 minutes later, you might blow up on him and get fired because you are already mad. Instead should operate under the assumption that people that cut you off probably just did not see you that well. 4) Develop tools to focus the mind -might be able to develop tools to dial down stress reactions and regain control -want to try to regain conscious control and calm things down -find some activity you can do that focuses you (i.e. military teaches marines to do yoga)

Racism Today

1) Racially-encoded language (even by people who do not intend to do it) -i.e. hoodie refers to young black thug -can tell someone's race from a sports analysis 2) Racist ads and messaging -sometimes when companies try to be clever with their ads, they inadvertently stumble into some mistakes -i.e. Mountain Dew commercial that shows all black criminals and a white victim 3) Incarceration rates -7 out of every 1,000 white Americans are incarcerated -47 out of every 1,000 African-Americans are incarcerated -much higher incarceration rates for African-Americans than Whites -Because the modern form of racism is often inadvertent and subconscious, it can be difficult to challenge because people do not know if they are actually doing it

Cognitive Errors of Liars:

1) Verb tense -Liars tend to screw up their verb tenses -people that are lying tend to speak in the past tense and keep it fairly simple -Ex: "I arrived and the door was unlocked." (Liar) vs. "When I had arrived, the door was left unlocked." (truth-teller) 2) Self-reference -truthful people tend to reference themselves and liars tend to not do so -Liars tend to take themselves out of the story -Ex: "The car was going down the street." (liar) vs. "So, I get into the car and I drove down the street." (truth teller) 3) Questions -Truth tellers rarely answer questions with questions, but rather with statements -Liars tend to answer with questions quite often -Ex: Did you steel my laptop? Truth teller says "No."; Liar says "Why would I steal your laptop?" 4): Noncommittal Words: -Truth tellers tend to be definitive -"When I got there, the door was unlocked. I do not know why. I know that the key was missing from under the doormat." -The liar will often use wishy-washy noncommittal words -"Maybe someone else had a key, I guess" 5) Euphemisms -liars often use euphemisms to soften their words -Ex: "I often borrow peoples' cars" instead of saying that they stole them -Ex: "Did you hit your boss?" -Truth teller "I did." -Liar "I may have tapped him." 6) 25/50/25 Rule -When telling a story/narrative, a truth teller will spend 25% of their words describing the lead up to the event, 50% on the event itself, and 25% on the aftermath -Liar will tend to skew: giving more attention to one part than another (commonly focuses more on the lead up) 7) Mean Length of Utterance (MLU) -How many words are there in your sentences? -In normal human conversation most sentences have between 10 and 15 words (truth tellers) -Liars will often fall well outside of those ranges (very short sentences or very long sentences; long sentences in particular are a real giveaway) 8) Detail -Liars tend to keep the detail to a minimum because they must remember their lies and not create traps for themselves -Ex: How would you describe the robber? "He was tall. And white."

12 Things to Think About In Negotiations:

1) What kind of negotiation? -Either a competitive negotiation, or a collaborative negotiation -Only one scenario in which competitive is the right choice if the relationship is not going to continue, if you are never going to see that person again -Otherwise, should always try for collaborative negotiation 2a) The stakes - high/goal/low -What is the most I am looking for, what is the least I would take -What is the best possible outcome that I could hope for, what is the worst possible outcome that I am willing to accept, and what is the reasonable outcome that I am aiming for 2b) The Stakes - BATNA -BATNA = Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement -What am I left with if the negotiation completely falls apart? -If it is not a problem, may be a little more demanding -If it is a big problem, may be a little less demanding -Ex: you are throwing a birthday party at Cabo Cantina -For $650.00 I would have the party there, but for $700.00 I would just rather have it at my apartment -Ex: you have a fancy car and If I don't sell this, I am stuck with a $500.00 expense for another year, so I may be willing to sell it for less -Or if I don't sell this it will just sit in my car for another year so I will not sell it for a lower price 3) Do your homework -know what you are talking about, how much something is worth 4) Who should go first? Who should name the first price/condition? 5) Schmooze: You are better off if the person likes you and wants to work with you/more likely to give you a better price 6) Location, location, location -you are best served negotiating in a location that is familiar to you and strange to the other person (they may feel anxious because they feel like a fish out of water; you can play around with the environment in various ways to take advantage i.e. give them water, turn up the heat; grouping perception where you seem like more of an expert in your surroundings) 7) Be confident, be an authority 8) Body language, voice, etc. matter 9) Expand the pie, if useful -Add other commodities to the discussion in hopes of reaching a resolution 10) Focus on the OTHER side's pressure (agreement bias) -i.e. focus on the other side's BATNA 11) Show how the other side's needs will be met -i.e. if we work out our negotiation with the chores and we get along, you will have a place to live for the next three years when you are in law school 12) Know when to walk away -not all negotiations will be completed successfully, and if they will be they may not be completed today -if the other side is trying to take advantage of your agreement bias/put the pressure on, you have to be willing to walk away because the negotiation has now turned against you

Aggression

1. Aggression is behavior 2. The behavior is intentional 3. The behavior is aimed at hurting another person What are some situations in which aggression is unwise? -When you are dealing with the police -Dealing with kids because it could cause them to be maladaptive/traumatized -When you are communicating with a professor What are some situations in which aggression is appropriate? -When someone stole your stuff -Sports competition -When you are sexually assaulted -When someone is in danger Is it aggression? -A murderer is executed under Utah's capital punishment law? (Not aggression because while execution may be hurtful, the goal is not to hurt you, but rather correct for your crimes) -A woman shoots mace at her would-be rapist (Is aggression because this is an intentional behavior aimed at hurting the man in order to get away) -A batter's line drive hits the pitcher in the knee (Not aggression because the batter did not intentionally mean to hurt the pitcher) -A man passes along rumors about his rival's sexual transgression (Aggression because it is a behavior that is intended to hurt the other) -A teenager tells his proud little sister that her art project is "dumb and ugly" (Aggression because it is a behavior that is intended to hurt the other) -A father spanks his disobedient 6-year-old (Not aggression because it is a behavior not intended to hurt the child, but rather to discipline them; unless the parent is abusive and wants to hurt their child)

The Anchoring Effect

When you are given a bit of data, that tends to shape your perception for the next short period of time -example: Did Gandhi die when he was 9? (would guess he died younger); Did Gandhi die when he was 109? (would drive up your estimate) -Used in bargaining/negotiations (You lowball someone to set a low price in negotiations or you highball someone if you want them to pay more)