Exam 3 Comm
It is interesting to note that whether to conflict is with a member of the ingroup or a member of the outgroup also clearly affects how collectivists manage conflict
Chinese for example, are more likely to pursue a conflict with an outgroup member and less likely to pursue a conflict with an ingroup member than U.S. Americans - more on page 196
From the individualistic conflict lens, the person wants to...
stand out and be noticed for all of his or her task accomplishments
In their team presentations, collectivists will also often use phrases such as...
"as a team, we..." and "we worked hard" to save the team face and put the best group face forward
The primary perception features of intercultural conflict are the following:
(1) conflict involves intercultural perceptions - perceptions are filtered through our lenses of ethnocentrism and stereotypes (2) ethnocentric perceptions add biases and prejudice to our conflict attribution process (3) our attribution process is further complicated by dealing with different culture-based verbal and nonverbal conflict styles
just as people vary on how they conceptualize love, expectations concerning love across cultures vary as well.
Although passionate love is valued where family ties are weak, passionate love is diluted where family ties are strong. Romantic passionate love has been found to be a critical component in the "falling in love" stage of many individuals, this the emphasis in individualistic cultures is on this kind of love regardless of the partners cultural backgrounds or social standing. This is one of the reasons why individualists believe that getting married without love appears to be a disastrous decision.
the third set of background factors involves conflict perceptions and orientation.
Conflict involves both perception and interaction
compensation means conflict parties can offer exchanges or concessions for conflict issues they value differently.
For ex: one twin sister desperately wants the disc to play at her sorority party that night, but the other twin had planned to take it with her on an overnight driving trip. One twin can offer money to the other (e.g., monetary compensation that is worth more than the price of the original CD) to compensate for the time and effort it takes to go and buy another CD - thus reflecting the compensation technique via seeking out other pragmatic alternatives
mindful listening is a face-validation and power-sharing skill.
In a conflict episode, the disputants must try hard to listen with focused attentiveness to the cultural and personal assumptions that are being expressed in the conflict interaction. They must learn to listen responsively or ting (the Chinese word for listening means "attending mindfully with our ears, eyes, and a focused heart") to the sounds, tone, gestures, movements, nonverbal nuances, pauses, and silence in a given conflict situation.
mindful reframing is a highly creative, mutual-face-honoring skill.
It means creating alternative contexts to frame your understanding of the conflict behavior. Just as changing a frame to appreciate an old painting, creating a new context to understand the conflict behavior may redefine your interpretation of the behavior or conflict event
Flexible intercultural conflict management depends on many factors.
One key factor is the ability to apply adaptive conflict communications skills. The five skills that are critical to flexible intercultural conflict management are: facework management, mindful listening, cultural empathy, mindful reframing, and adaptive code-switching
Most conflict research has focused on European American conflict styles in both interpersonal and organizational conflict domains.
Overall, European Americans end to prefer solution-based conflict strategies and tend to compartmentalize socioemotional conflict issues separately from task-based conflict issues more than do African Americans European Americans also tend to use more dominating/controlling conflict strategies in dealing with romantic relationships than do Asian Americans
In individualistic cultures, people typically want to "fall in love" and then either get married or move on to another dating partner.
Romantic love, however, often poses major relational paradoxes. Although intimate partners desire to "lose" themselves in a romantic love-fused relationship, many of them also struggle with their desires for independence and personal freedom.
the more independent or individualistic you are, the more likely you are to use a linear logic, low context approach in managing your conflict.
The more independent or collectivistic you are, the more likely you are to use a spiral logic, high-context approach in dealing with your conflict.
pace-negotiation theory helps to explain how individualism=collectivism value patterns influence the use of diverse conflict styles in different cultural situations
The premise of the theory is that members who subscribe to individualistic values tend to be more self-face-oriented and members who subscribe to group-oriented values tend to be more other- or mutual-face-oriented in conflict negotiation
Intercultural love experts concluded that the high divorce rate that characterizes "U.S. society is due in good part to the culture's exaggerated sense of individualism"
They observe that in the United States, subscribers to "expressive individualism" face the following dilemmas in romantic relationships
the benevolent approach reflects a combination of...
a collectivistic and and large power distance value orientation
using an independent-self conflict lens,
a person often views conflict from (1) a content conflict goal lens, which emphasizes tangible conflict issues above and beyond relationship issues (2) a clear win-lose conflict approach, in which one person comes out as a winner and the other person comes out as a loser (3) a "doing" angle, in which something tangible in the conflict is broken and needs fixing (4) an outcome-driven mode, in which a clear action plan or resolution is needed
the status-achievement approach consists of a combination of...
an individualistic and large power distance value orientation
the impartial approach reflects a combination of...
an individualistic and small power distance value orientation
the communal approach (a combination of both collectivism and small power distance value orientation) is the least common of the four workplace approaches. The values that encompass this approach are
authentic interdependent connection to others and genuine equality via respectful communication exchanges at all levels Research to date has shown that Costa Rica is the only country found to fit this approach. -Nonprofit mediation centers or successful start-up small business also appear to practice some of the communal decision-making behaviors and participatory democracy so that everyone has a say, and they also often take turns to rotate democratic leadership -in the communal approach, the importance of mindful listening skill, interpersonal validation skill, and collaborative dialogue skill are emphasized.
ideal in individualistic cultures, is that romanti love is the
central part of many love relationships, and that attraction chemistry is common during the initial stages of any romantic love relationship.
intangible resources however may include
deeply felt desires or emotional needs, such as emotional security, inclusion, connection, respect, control, and meaning issues. Recurring conflict between two or more individuals often involves unmet (or frustrated) intangible needs rather than conflicting tangible wants Scarce intangible resources can be real or perceived as real (e.g., two men fighting for the perceived lack of attention from their boss) by individuals in the conflict episode
When members of a culture believe that their own approach is the only correct or natural way to handle conflict, they tend to see the conflict behaviors of other cultures as...
deviant from that standard. a rigidly held ethnocentric attitude promotes a climate of distrust in any intercultural conflict. In real-life conflict scenarios, individuals often practice ethnocentric behaviors and polarized attributions without a high degree of awareness
The factors involved in an intercultural conflict episode include...
different cultural conflict lenses, different conflict perceptions, different conflict goals, and different viewpoints on scarce resources
reframing is the mindful process of using language to change the way
each person defines or thinks about experiences and views the conflict situation
in nearly all of thirty-seven cultural samples studied, both females and males
endorsed mutual attraction-love, dependability, emotional stability, kindness-understanding, and intelligence as top-ranked mate-selection criteria.
value patterns - for individualists or independent-self personality types, intercultural conflict resolution often follows an...
outcome-oriented model
U.S. Japan Conflict Case Example
page 184 - and further explanation on 186
Overall, conflict communication style refers to
patterned verbal and nonverbal responses to conflict in a variety of frustrating conflict situations There are three approaches to studying conflict styles: the dispositional approach, the situational approach, and the systems approach
from a status-achievement approach (a combination of individualism and large power distance) to conflict, the predominant values of this approach are...
personal freedom and earned inequality -they don't expect their managers to change much because they are their bosses and thus, by virtue of their titles, hold certain rights and power resources -the managers meanwhile, also expect conflict accommodations from their subordinates; subordinates may be free to complain, but the manager is the authority and makes the final decisions -when the conflict involves two same-rank coworkers, the use of upfront conflict tactics to aggressive tactics is a hallmark fo the status-achievement approach
in the impartial approach (a combination of individualism and small power distance) to workplace conflict, the predominant values of this approach are...
personal freedom and equal treatment -from the impartial conflict approach lens, if an interpersonal conflict arises between a manager and an employee, the manager has the responsibility to deal with the conflict in an objective, upfront, and decisive manner -the employee is sometimes invited to provide feedback and reactions to the fact-finding process. -he or she can also ask for clarifications from the manager -in an equal-rank employee-employee conflict, the manager would generally play the "impartial" third-party role and would encourage the two employees to talk things over and find their own workable solution
understanding the underlying, unspoken value clashes and the misconstrued assumptions between the American and Japanese attendees would serve as a good first step to reconcile the cultural and corporate expectancy differences.
pg.186
by content goals, we mean the
practical issues that are external to the individuals involved. For example, an interfaith couple might argue about whether they should raise their children to be Muslim or Mormon.
Overall, the greatest cultural variation is found in the attitude toward
premarital chastity
the U.S. management style often follows a combined impartial approach and status-achievement approach:
the larger U.S. culture emphasizes that with individual hard work, personal ambition, and fierce competitiveness, status and rank can be earned and status cues can be displayed with pride and credibility
For collectivists or interdependent-self personality types, intercultural conflict management often follows a...
"process-oriented" model
Using an interdependent-self conflict lens, a person often views conflict from...
(1) a relational process lens, which emphasizes relationship and feeling issues (2) a win win relational approach, in which feelings and "faces" can both be saved (3) a "being" angle, in which relational trust must be repaired and loyalty must be amended to preserve relational harmony (4) a long-term compromising negotiation mode that has no clear winner or loser in the ongoing conflict
Some suggested cultural empathy techniques include the following:
(1) check yourself for possible cultural biases and hidden prejudices in the conflict episode (2) suspend your rigidly held intergroup stereotypes (3) do not pretend to understand - ask for clarification (4) use reflective time and appropriate silence to gauge your own understanding of the other's conflict perspective (5) capture the core conflict emotion, metaphor, meaning, and facework theme of the other conflict party and echo the theme back to the conflict party in your own words - with carefully phrased responsive words and gestures
there are four identity forms many bicultural children claim for themselves
(1) majority-group identifiers - these children identify with the parent from the dominant culture or religion, and they may or may not publicly acknowledge the identity of their other parent (in this case, from a minority-group background) (2) minority-group identifiers - these children identify with the parents who is a minority, and they may either acknowledge that their other parent is from a different background or deny (minimize) their dual heritage background (3) synthesizers - children who acknowledge the influence of both aspects of their parents' cultural backgrounds and synchronize and synthesize the diverse aspects of their parents' values into a coherent identity (4)disaffiliates (i.e., "none of the above" identifiers) - children who distance themselves or claim not to be influenced by their parents' cultural backgrounds, sometimes creating own identity labels
the following are some specific suggestions for mindful reframing
(1) restate conflict positions into common-interest terms (2) change complaint statements into requests (3) move from blaming statements to mutual-focused, problem-solving statements (4) help those in conflict recognize the benefits of a win-win synergistic approach (5) help conflict parties understand the "big picture"
paraphrasing skills involve two characteristics:
(1) summarizing the content meaning of the other's message in your own words and (2) nonverbally echoing your interpretation of the emotional meaning of the other's message
Despite the many pressure points in an intercultural-interracial relationship, many intimate couples often mention the following relationship rewards in their intercultural/interracial relationships:
(a) experiencing personal enrichment and growth resulting from the day-to-day opportunity to continuously clarify their own beliefs, values, and prejudices (b) developing multiple cultural frames of reference resulting from the opportunity of integrating multiple value systems such as "doing" and "being," "controlling" and "yielding" (c) experiencing greater diversity and emotional vitality in their lifestyles because of participating in different customs, ceremonies, languages, celebrations, foods, and cultural network circles (d) developing a stronger and deeper relationship with their partner because they have weathered intercultural prejudice and racist opposition and arrived at a forgiving, healing place. (e) raising open-minded, resourceful children who see the world from a multicultural lens and have the ability to be "at home" wherever they find themselves These stages of challenge and benefit provide an overall picture of intercultural romantic relationships. With the increase in cultural and ethnic diversification in the United States, the likelihood of being attracted to members of other cultures and races will also increase.
Hurricane Katrina examples between black and white participants
187
African American Conflict styles
196
Asian American Conflict Styles
197
Latino American Conflict Styles
197-198
Native American Conflict Styles
198
To deal with conflict constructively in a collectivistic culture, individualists must do the following
202-203
differences in communicating love by comparing young adults
208
U.S. vs. Japanese perceptions of facial attractiveness - college students
211
Findings from Pew Institute study on interracial marriages in the United States.
219
family stories
221-222
relational transgressions Chinese vs. U.S respondents
223
facilitating a stronger dialogue between parents and children regarding cultural and religious identity
226
Overall, interracial couples have higher rates of divorce, particularly for those marrying during the late 1980's.
Actually race comparisons in marriages 224
facework skills address the core issues of protecting our own communication identity during a conflict episode and, at the same time, allowing us to deal with the communication identity of the other, conflict party.
All human beings value the feelings of being respected and being accepted -- especially during vulnerable conflict interactions
in any relationship, verabl revelation and concealment act as critical gatekeepers in moving a relationship to greater or lesser intimacy.
Both the willingness to reveal something about yourself and the willingness to pay attention to the other person's feedback about you are necessary to build a trusting intercultural friendship or romantic relationship.
intercultural code-switching is conceptualized as "the act of purposefully modifying one's behavior in an interaction in a foreign setting in order to accommodate different cultural norms for appropriate behavior
Central to Molinsky's (2007) conceptualization are two psychological challenges that must be met: code switchers must execute the new behavior in such a manner that insiders of the culture judge the task performance and behavioral performance dimensions as appropriate tot he context. and second, the code-switchers are eventually able to form a coherent sense of "identity dimension" via seeing the meaningful relevance of the behavior in context
Although the emotional reactions from outgroup members range from complete acceptance to utter ostracism, the couple's reactions in considering ethnicity as a factor in their relationship can also range from deep understanding to total dismissal.
Conflict often arises when intercultural couples have to deal with the dilemma of whether to talk about matters of race or racism in their surrounding environment and within their own relationship context.
Racism also refers t the practice of power dominance of a "superior" racial group over other "inferior" races.
Couples often encounter initial conflict when marriage plans are discussed with their respective parents. reactions can range from responses of support, acceptance, rejection, or fear to outright hostility.
cultural empathy has two layers: cultural empathetic understanding and cultural empathetic responsiveness
Cultural empathy is the learned ability of the participants to understand accurately the self-experiences of others from diverse cultures and, concurrently, the ability to convey their understanding responsively and effectively to reach the "cultural ears" of the culturally different others in the conflict situation
However, research indicates that many collectivists value companionate love more than passionate love in romantic relationships.
Essentially, love is ore pragmatic. In collectivistic cultures, ingroup harmony and cohesiveness are emphasized over individual needs and desires. From this particular value frame-work, the value of love as caregiving, doing things for one another, carrying out your relational obligations and role responsibilities, and tending to the relationship from a long-term perspective takes precedence over romantic ideals. Thus, for some collectivists, the meaning of being in love takes long-term commitment, reciprocal loyalty, and time to cultivate. They can also continue to learn to fall in love after their marriages. Alternatively, as they learn to grin and bear it, they may also have a change of heart and learn to accept the flaws and virtues of their lifetime partners
the following section draws from face-negotiation theory and presents some interesting research findings concerning conflict styles and face-work behaviors in diverse cultural and ethnic groups.
Face is really about socially approved self-image and other-image consideration issues. Facework is about the verbal and nonverbal strategies that we use to maintain, defend, or upgrade our own social self-image and attack or defense (or "save") te social images of others For example: when others confront us with threatening conflict messages, we are likely either to engage in defensive facework strategies or to flee the scene altogether to recoup our face loss
Although verbal nonverbal self-disclosure during face-to-face communication has been discussed, social network sites are providing an alternative way to disclose feelings or attraction to another.
Facebook 216, Third-Party Matchmakers: Online and Mobile Dating 217 stages of dating five phases of courtship: 1) attention phase 2)recognition phase 3) interaction phase 4) face-to-face meeting phase 5) resolution phase
There is a consistent elevated divorce rate for white females in interracial marriages. 224 2nd paragraph
Facebook as online divorce evidence
For individualists having conflicts with collectivists, giving face means acknowledging collectivists' ingroup conflict concerns and obligations. Further, it means learning to mindfully listen and hold a mutual-orientation perspective in the conflict process, learning to apologize when you are part of the conflict problem, and giving credit to the teamwork or family members that frame the collectivists' action or accomplishment.
For collectivists having conflicts with individualists, giving face means honoring others by expressing your ideas (or opinions) actively with other conflict parties in a candid manner, engaging in explicit verbal acknowledgment and feedback during a conflict negotiation process, recognizing the person's abilities and complimenting his or her unique contributions, and understanding the differences between acting assertively, passively, passive-aggressively, and aggressively.
Expansion means an active search for alternative paths or creative solutions to enlarge the amount, type, or use of available resources (e.g., using existing resources in imaginative ways or cultivating new resources) for mutual gains.
For example: the twins may want to make their own music and draw their own CD cover. They can also learn to work together to mix resources (e.g. artwork and music) for mutual gains.
in the context of intergroup-interpersonal attraction, perceived similarity takes on a variety of aspects, such as perceived cultural-racial similarity.
For low-prejudiced individuals, race is a nonissue, but perceived physical attractiveness is the decisive factor in intergroup attraction. In contrast, for high-prejudiced individuals, racial dissimilarity is viewed as creating insurmountable barriers to intergroup attraction.
Participants with different levels of self-construal differed when they responded to their dating partners' relational transgressions.
High independent self-construal participants tend to prefer exit and anger voice responses, whereas high interdependent self-construal participants prefer the use of integrative voice and third-party help-seeking responses.
Further, in terms of the relational commitment issues, individualists would tend to expect voluntary personal commitment from their partners in approaching their intimate relationships.
However, for collectivist, structural commitment in an intimate relationship may be more important than (or at least on an equal footing with) personal commitment in a long-term romantic relationship. Here personal commitment means an individual's desire or intent to continue the relationship based on his or her subjective emotional feelings and experiences; structural commitment, on the other hand, means the individual takes into consideration various external social and family reactions in deciding to either continue or terminate a relationship.
if both individuals are from the HCC zone, they will be able to understand each other's implicit caring gestures.
However, in relationships where relational partners come from different communication styles, they may carry diametrically opposed expectations and experience major communication decoding problems. To address such problems, relational partners must make a strong commitment to communicate in a culture-sensitive manner and to decode both the content and the relational meanings of the communication exchange process. This means learning to truly understand her or his relational partner's beliefs, values, needs, and interaction styles, as well as how she or he interprets core identity and relationship issues.
Prejudice is about biased, inflexible prejudgements and antagonistic feelings about outgroup members.
However, racism is about a personal/institutional belief i the cultural superiority of one race and the perceived inferiority of other races
Biconstrual individuals (those who are high on both independent and interdependent traits tend to have the most diverse conflict repertoires to ddeal with a conflict situation in comparison to independent, interdependent, and ambivalent (low on both independent and interdependent traits) personality types.
However, the degree of intimacy between the conflict partners, the nature of the conflict, and the conflict context greatly influence individuals' expectancies concerning appropriate and effective conflict behaviors and outcomes in different intercultural/interracial conflict situations
In dealing with prejudice and racism outside their relationship, some couples may talk about racism issues as a lifetime project, whereas others dismiss them as inconsequential. other things couples do about race 222
In addition to race issues, emotional issues (e.g., work stress, money, sex, housework, and a new baby) are the most common topics of marital squabbles. These are the frequent "emotional tasks" that couples have to deal with in their everyday lives and that often reveal their very different cultural and personal perspectives on how to approach such issues
In terms of societal reactions, one of the most common problems experienced by intercultural couples is the blatant, open stares from strangers.
In addition to the stares, prejudicial treatment by some restaurant servers and real estate agents and racism within their own workplace may deeply disturb the couple's relationship
Additionally, research studies indicated that the more the relational partners in initial interethnic encounters hold similar viewpoints concerning communication orientations (e.g., ways to support each other's self-concepts, ways to comfort each other), the more they are attracted to each other.
In addition, people may be attracted to dissimilar strangers if they have repeated chances to interact with them under favorable contact conditions and with a positive mindset. Proximity, together with perceived similarity, definitely influences initial intercultural attraction.
students who exhibited lower levels of ingroup favoritism bias, intergroup anxiety, and ingroup identification were more likely to date members of other racial and ethnic groups during college.
In addition, students who dated outside their group more during college showed less ingroup favoritism bias and intergroup anxiety at the end of their college experience.
People do activate their stereotyping process in initial intercultural attraction stages - be they positive or negative stereotypes.
In addition, there may also be a "Romeo and Juliet" effect at work in an intercultural-intimate relationship: the more the respective families are against this intimate relationship, the more the couple wants to rebel against their parents and "do their own thing" and therefore, they find each other even more attractive
Independent-minded partners often view autonomy-connection struggles as a delicate high-wire act, constantly balancing the "me-we" dialectical forces.
In contrast, interdependent-minded partners often see autonomy and connection as a quadrangular juggling act, a "me-we-they-they" dance performance in the intimate relationship and among their respective family/friendship connective networks. As a result, the intimate partners believe the romantic relationship will never truly be free from the grip of their family obligations, duties, and extended family reactions.
Research on intercultural romantic relationships examines both its challenges and its benefits.
In discussing interracial intimate relationship development, Foeman and Nance concluded that interracial couples move through the following stages of "racial" awareness and awakening in their intimate relationship process: racial awareness, coping, identity emergence, and relationship maintenance
However, perspectives on love have been developed to distinguish love from liking, for example, comparing different types of love and liking as a triangle or researching the different ideologies of love such as diverse love styles.
In fact, individuals from the US have different beliefs about romantic relationships and these different ideas suggest how different stages of relational initiation, maintenance, and termination play a critical role in intimate-interpersonal relationships based on love styles
Simply because the partners are in an intimate relationship, there is no guarantee that they are free of racism or matters of race in their own evolving relationship.
In times of anger and conflict, couples may have expressed racial epithets or racial attitudes to vent their frustrated feelings, and these expressions can seriously hurt each other. Although some of the words may have been exchanged in a joking/teasing or sarcastic way during an intimate conflict, those words or phrases can be taken as hurtful , racist comments.
the compromising style involves a give-and-take concession approach to reach a mid-point agreement concerting the conflict issue
In using the compromising style, individuals tend to use fairness appeals, trade-off suggestions, or other quick, short-term solutions. It is an intermediate style resulting in some gains and some losses for each party.
The obliging (or accommodating) style is characterized by a high concern for the other person's conflict interest above and beyond one's own conflict position.
Individuals tend to use the obliging style when they value their relationship more than their personal conflict goal
the face orientation, shaped by the various cultural, personality, and situational factors, frames our different motivations to use different conflict styles.
Individuals who are more self-face-oriented tend to use a direct, low-context conflict style to assert their rights in a conflict situation. Individuals who are more other-face- or mutual-face oriented tend to use an indirect, high-context conflict style to maintain other or mutual face and to preserve relational harmony
the strength of individual ethnic identities was related to intergoup attraction and dating.
Individuals with assimilated, bicultural, or marginal identities have a greater tendency to date outside of their own groups than those who view their ethnic identities and traditions as very important aspects of their self-concept. There were also times during which individuals were attracted to culturally dissimilar others because they perceived their partners as typical, or atypical of their own culture.
perceived similarity refers to how much people think others are similar or dissimilar to themselves.
It implies the perception of shared views in beliefs, values, attitudes, communication, interests, and/or hobbies
to minimize initial interaction anxiety, two cultural strangers must be at least proficient in a shared language and the use of everyday slang and idioms of a culture.
Moreover, it is critical for the native language speaker to develop cultural sensitivity for a relational partner who is not a native language speaker.
Age, generation, ethnic identity, and racial intergroup attitude appear to be four important predictors of interethnic dating and marriage.
One's age and generation appear to be two key predictors for intimate relationship formation: younger people and succeeding generations are more open to interracial dating than older and preceding ones. The later the generation in the United States, the more likely the individuals in that generation tend to date outgroup members Additionally, the less prejudice they perceive in intergroup relations, the more likely they are to be open to date members from that group.
impression formation and interpersonal attraction are two intertwined concepts.
Physical attraction is closely associated with overall perceived attractiveness. Overall perceived attractiveness, in turn, is related to desirable personality attributes, such as appearing sensitive, kind, sociable, pleasant, likable, and interesting. Attractive people are also viewed as more competent and intelligent.
We can communicate only with people we meet via face-to-face situations or in cyberspace.
Proxemic nearness to others creates more interaction opportunities, individuals may uncover important attitudinal and communication similarities (e.g., relationship philosophy, family outlook, similar communication styles, and common interests) and thus increase their confidence in relating to each other.
The results indicate that respondents who were raised in more diverse neighborhoods and who had diverse acquaintances were significantly more likely to date outside their race.
Reasons given for encouraging interracial dating included compatibility, physical and sexual attraction, and curiosity. Reasons given for encouraging interracial dating included compatibility, physical and sexual attraction, and curiosity. Reasons offered for discouraging interracial dating included lack of desire, lack of proximity, and personal, familial, or societal pressure.
First, one can "lose" one's self and the feeling of personal autonomy in a love relationship, feeling used and exploited as a result.
Second, satisfying the autonomous needs of two "separate" individuals in a love relationship obviously becomes a difficult balancing act. Third, the spirit of American individualism makes it difficult for either partner in a relationship to justify sacrificing or giving to the other more than one is receiving. Finally and inevitably, Americans confront a fundamental conflict trying to reconcile personal freedom and individuality , on the one hand, with obligations and role requirements of maritial partner and parent, on the other.
self-disclosure and intimacy are interdependent: appropriate self-disclosure can increase intimacy, and increased intimacy prompts more self-disclosure.
Self-disclosure develops interpersonal trust, emotional support, and mutual identity validation. However, self-disclosure can also open up the vulnerable self to hurt, disappointment, and information betrayal.
intercultural-intimate conflict is defined as any antagonistic friction or disagreement between two romantic partners caused, in part, by cultural or ethnic group membership differences.
Some of the prominent conflict sources are cultural-ethnic value clashes, prejudice and racism issues, and raising bicultural and biracial children.
in an individualistic culture it is expected that relational partners would engage in active verbal self-disclosure with phrases such as "I love you" and "I miss you"
South Korean movie vs. Remade in U.S. 210
Individuals who have big open panels and small hidden panels are more willing to disclose and share information about themselves compared with individuals with small open panels and big hidden panels.
The blind panel can shrink in size by paying attention to feedback and comments from others. The blind area means we are unaware (or in denial) that such attitudes (e.g., sexist, racist, and homophobic attitudes) or behaviors (e.g., gay bashing) exist in us, but our friends actually observe those attitudes or behaviors. Through obtaining feedback from others, information that we are previously unaware of becomes known to us. The mysterious panel, the unknown area, at first glance seems strange. However, we can deduce that the unknown panel exists in all of us because there is always something surprising or new to discover about ourselves and others - through new learning, traveling, life experiences, or meditations about the unconscious self.
In the third stage, identity emergence, both partners gain a new sense of security and bravely announce their intimate relationship to their families and ingroups.
The fourth stage, relationship maintenance, refers to the continuous hard work the couple must face in dealing with new challenges such as having children, moving to new neighborhoods, and meeting new social circles
On a broad level, the open panel is defined as information known to self and also information known to generalized others or a specific person.
The hidden panel is defined as information known to self but unknown to others. The blind panel is defined as information not known to self but known to others. the unknown panel is defined as information not known
The first stage, racial awareness, refers to the gradual awakening stage when the partners in the interracial relationship become conscious of each other's views and societal views on intimate racial relationship matters.
The second stage, coping, refers to the struggles the couple must face in gaining approval from their families and friends and the strategies they come up with in dealing with such external presures.
Morry (2005) found that same-sex friends perceived themselves to be happier individuals the more they reported being similar to their friends.
The similarity-attraction perspective has received intense attention in intergoup-interpersonal attraction research for the past three decades. The argument behind this perspective (with a distinct individualistic-based focus) claims that individuals are motivated to maintain or increase their positive self-evaluation by choosing to associate with others who reinforce dimensions relevant to the self (i.e., birds of a feather flock together)
self-disclosure involves the intentional process of revealing exclusive information about ourselves to others that the other individuals do not know.
The study of self-disclosure is related to social penetration theory. Generally, social penetration theory says that interpersonal information progresses from superficial, non-intimate self-discolsure to more deep-layered, intimate self-discolure. This developmental process also involves the breadth (i.e., number of topics we are comfortable and willing to disclose to reveal our dynamic self) and depth (i.e., intimate layers that reveal our emotionally vulnerable self) of self-disclosure. Deep-layered self-disclosure, as the pinnacle of intimacy, is defined as an individual's willingness to reveal exclusive private information and especially vulnerable identity information to a significant other.
For many ethnically homogeneous families, fear is the basic reason for opposition to an intercultural marriage.
Their reasons can include societal or community disapproval, fear for the general physical and emotional well-being of the couple, fear of ostracism, and self-esteem issues concerning their biracial grandchildren,.
attraction is an unspoken energy that drives people together. The force of attraction can be sudden or developed slowly over time.
There are clear cultural-based influences that affect the initial attraction between two individuals: -perceived physical attractiveness -perceived similarity -self-disclosure -intercultural-interracial intimate relationship development
Some of these couples may appear to outsiders to be an ingroup or intracultural relationship because of their physical similarities.
These couples can choose to reveal their differences to outsiders. but, for interracial and some other intercultural couples, the visible differences are inescapable to all. These couples must find different ways to cope with various family and social group reactions as well as with each other's reactions toward the role their ethnic group plays in their relationship
In the initial stage of relationship development, individuals are often concerned with creating a favorable impression in the presence of others so that others can either be attracted to them or at least find them likeable.
Thus, an individual may interact in a way that seems to exude attractive qualities (from their perspective) to create a favorable impression.
intercultural code-switching refers to intentionally learning and moving between culturally ingrained systems of behavior relevant to the situation at hand.
Thus, individuals who have mastered the deep value structures of a culture (such as individualism and collectivism and other core culture-specific values) and the situational norms of an intercultural conflict episode can code-switch adaptively via an astute culture-sensitive situational analysis
Overall, individualists have been found to engage in more active self-disclosure than collectivists across topics and different "targets," or receivers.
Thus, self-disclosure is one of the key factors in developing a personal relationship in any culture or ethnic group. One other way to understand self-disclosure in more depth is to check out the Johari Window. The label "Johari" takes it name from Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham - the first names of the window's creators. The window can be conceived as having four panels: open, hidden, blind, and unknown
Verbal self-disclosure often follows a trust-risk dilemma.
To trust someone, you must be willing to take some risks to share some unique information about yourself. Through taking the risk, you may also have established an initial trusting cycle in the interpersonal relationship.
Sometimes a non-minority partner's indifference to or ignorance of a racial issue may actually perpetuate a racist worldview.
When two intimate partners bring to their relationship strong identities as members of two different minority groups, they may be hypersensitive to identity conflict issues.
the similarity-attraction hypothesis supports this assumption:
a positive relationship exists between perceived similarity and interpersonal attraction. There are three possible explanations to account for this hypothesis: (1) we experience cognitive consistency if we hold the same attitude and outlook in our relationship (2) cognitive consistency reinforces our ego and provides identity rewards and affirmation (3) with similar others, we tend to invest less time and energy in managing relational vulnerable feelings, which gives a boost to interpersonal attraction
there are two possible modes of code switching
behavioral or functional code-switching refers to surface-level verbal and/ or nonverbal code-switching, especially for multicultural workplace survival and adaptation. In contrast, dynamic or integrative code-switching is an internal and external synchronized dance of fluid figure-eight movements in which the dialectical tensions of individualism-collectivism (or any other seemingly contrastive value dimensions) within oneself are resolved or harmonized
reframing is a critical conflict management skill because how you frame the conflict event may
change how you respond to it
the communal approach consists of a combination of...
collectivistic and small power distance value orientation
Although individualists often use a low-context, direct verbal approach in initiating, maintaining, and ending a close relationship,
collectivists often use a high-context, indirect approach in dealing with relationship formation and development issues.
Finally, the integrating (or collaborative) style reflects a
commitment to find a mutual-interest solution and involves a high concern for self-interest and also a high concern for the other person's interest in the conflict situation In using an integrative style, individuals tend to use non-evaluative descriptive messages, qualifying statements, and mutual interest clarifying questions to seek common-ground solutions This is the most time-consuming style of the five conflict styles. Johnson (1986) equated the five different styles to the following animals: shark = dominating style, turtle = avoiding, teddy bear = obliging, fox= compromising, and owl = integrating
an intercultural conflict episode often involves...
complex, multilayered factors
cultural value patterns such as individualism and collectivism often color our...
conflict attitudes, expectations, and behaviors when we are involved in emotionally frustrating episodes
the fifth set of background factors is perceived scarce resources
conflict resources are tangible or intangible rewards that people want in a dispute. The rewards or commodities may be scarce or perceived as scarce by individuals in the conflict.
the dominating (or competitive/controlling) style emphasizes
conflict tactics that push for one's own position above and beyond the other person's interest The dominating style includes aggressive, defensive, controlling, and intimidating tactics
autonomy is the need for personal privacy and regulated space in a relationship
connection is the need for the merging of personal and psychological space.
by listening mindfully, conflict disputants can learn to create new categories in interpreting the unfolding conflict sequences.
creating new categories means learning to apply culture-sensitive concepts to make sense of conflict variation behaviors
recent research evidence indicates that physical attractiveness is critical to initial attraction, but so are
cultural difference regarding what is attractive behavior or what are attractive character traits Korea vs. US 211
Identity-based foals can involve respectful or disrespectful attitudes concerning three identity issues in conflict:
cultural, social, and personal For example, although an interfaith couple is arguing about which religious faith they should instill in their children (cultural or social identity), they are also asserting the worthiness of their own particular religious beliefs (personal identity) To the extent that the couple can engage in a constructive dialogue about this important issue, the conflict can act as a catalyst for their relationship growth
the term love can be used seriously or casually depending on what
culture you're from. Researchers simply cannot offer a clear definition of love.
Asian American dating in college -other groups pressure to socialize 219
dating in other groups
the phrase identity-based goals means
face-saving and face-honoring issues in a conflict episode They are basically about self-respect (face-saving) and other-consideration (face-honoring) issues in a conflict situation
"I" identity members tend to emphasize personal and relationship privacy issues. In contrast, "we" identity cultural members tend to emphasize
family and ingroup network connection issues. From the collectivistic frame, relationship develipment is closely intertwined with the fate of others within the ingroup.
From the collectivistic cultural lens, if you love someone, you reveal it through your attentiveness and sincere caring actions
for collectivists, love is in the details of paying attention to the other person's needs, desires, and wishes and the fact that you are also ready to sacrifice yourself on your relational partner's behalf
through flexible communication skills, the conflict parties may invent creative alternatives or paths to
generate additional resources for mutual gain
The avoiding style involves dodging the topic, the other party, or the situation altogether. This style includes behavior from
glossing over the topic and denying that conflict exists to leaving the conflict scene
A fundamental acceptance of the cultural-racial and religious aspects of a partner's identity and a mutual willingness to explore cultural codes, as well as a mutual openness in discussing racism issues, can facilitate
greater relational satisfaction
tangible resources include
how much money to spend on a smart phone, an iPad, or choice of prime location for a vacation. Some tangible commodities are indeed scarce or limited (e.g., only one promotion available for three workers)
In combining both individualism-collectivism and small-large power distance value patterns, we can discuss four predominant corporate value conflict approaches that result from forming a grid based on the individualism-collectivism continuum and small-large power distance continuum:
impartial, status-achievement, benevolent, and communal
overall, managers and employees around the world have different expectations of how a workplace conflict episode should be interpreted and resolved -- depending on whether the workplace culture emphasizes...
impartial, status-achievement, benevolent, or communal conflict interaction rituals
The fourth set of cultural background factors involves conflict goal issues. The perceived or actual differences
in an intercultural conflict often rotate around the following three goal issues: content, relational, and identity
individualists tend to use more self-defensive, dominating, and competitive conflict styles in managing disputes than do collectivists.
in comparison, collectivists tend to use more integrative and compromising styles in dealing with conflict than do individualists
physical attraction happens when one is attracted to a person's appearance
in western cultures physical attraction has to do with our facial features 211
in terms of perceived credibility, facial composure and body posture appear to influence our judgements of whether
individuals appear to be credible (i.e., high social influence power) or not credible (i.e., low social influence power) 212 Overall, it can be concluded that perceived attractiveness or credibility is in the eye of the beholder. The meaning of such concepts reflects social agreements that are created and sustained through cultural nonverbal practices.
the phrase relational conflict goals refers to how
individuals define the particular relationship (e.g., intimate vs. non-intimate, informal vs. formal, cooperative vs. competitive) or would like to define it in the interactive situation Relational conflict goals also involve mismatched relationship expectation issues. For example, individualists generally crave more privacy and collectivists generally desire more connectedness in an intimate relationship The struggle to define independence and interdependence can cause chronic relationship problems in many intercultural couples
a dispositional approach emphasizes that
individuals do have predominant conflict style tendencies in handling a wide variety of conflict situations in different cultures Conflict style is learned within the primary socialization process of one's dispositional or personality traits For example, an extrovert will tend to use a more dominating or expressive style, but an introvert will tend to use a more avoiding or obligating style
these implicit conflict lenses or assumptions taint many...
intercultural perceptions and orientations concerning antagonistic conflict episodes
overall, independent-self types are concerned with conflict outcome closure, whereas interdependent-self types are concerned with...
interpersonal and ingroup face-saving and face-honoring process.
perception checking is designed to help ensure that we are
interpreting the speaker's nonverbal and verbal behaviors accurately during an escalating conflict episode. Culturally sensitive perception-checking statements involve both direct and indirect perceptual observation statements and perceptual verification questions
a systems approach integrates both dispositional and situational approaches.
it recognizes that most individuals have predominant conflict style profiles because of strong cultural and family socialization conflict scripts. However, individuals also modify their styles on the basis of the particular conflict situation and on their partners' responses and reactions to their conflict behaviors Among other factors that influence conflict style are intergroup conflict histories, ethnocentric filters, prejudiced mindsets, mood, and conflict competence skills
To achieve bicultural competence with living in two or more cultures we beleive may help bicultural individuals
knowledge of cultural values and beliefs positive attitude toward both minority and majority groups confidence that one can live effectively within the bicultural groups without compromising one's individual identity, be grounded
Research shows that across many cultures, females tend to be more comfortable addressing relational conflict goals than males
males, in comparison, tend to prefer addressing content conflict goal issues and with more ease than pursuing relational conflict topics. In addition, from the collectivistic cultural standpoint, relational conflict goals usually take precedence over content goals
On the personal attributes level, independent-self individuals tend to use more competitive/dominating conflict styles than do interdependent-self individuals, and interdependent individuals tend to use
more avoiding, obliging, integrating, and compromising styles than do independent-self individuals
the benevolent approach (a combination of collectivism and large power distance value patterns) in approaching a conflict problem. The term "benevolent" implies that many managers play the authoritative parental role in approaching or motivating their employees. Two values that pervade this approach are...
obligation to others and asymmetrical interaction treatment
Recall the core building block of individualism - collectivism lies in its
relative emphasis on the importance of the "I" identity and the "we" identity
both individualists and collectivists must learn to save face strategically and give face appropriately to each other during a conflict episode
self-oriented face-saving behaviors are attempts to regain or defend one's image after threats to face or face loss. Other-oriented face-giving behaviors are attempts to support others' face claims and work with them to prevent further face loss or help them to restore face constructively. Giving face means not humiliating others, especially one's conflict opponents, in public
different cultural lenses and assumptions serve as the first...
set of factors that contributes to initial intercultural irritations
a cultural trait approach means particular cultures (e.g., collectivistic cultures) on a
systems-based level would also exhibit certain pre-dominant conflict style tendencies (e.g., using more obliging or avoidance conflict patterns.
differentiation means
taking an active stance to acknowledge the different cultural perspectives and lenses in a conflict situation. At the same time, the conflict parties display good faith in addressing the conflict by dividing up the large puzzle into different pieces or slices. They also maintain constructive momentum to keep on moving forward to reach a shared goal or vision -for ex: twin sisters are fighting over a CD, one actually wants the disc, the other wants the cover. By articulating their basic needs in a collaborative dialogue format, the sisters can share the D productively without the need to compromise or make unnecessary concessions
In developing a relationship between individuals from two contrastive cultures, friends or romantic partners often face
the choice of how to handle autonomy and connection issues without going crazy
Rahim (1992) based his classification of conflict styles on the two conceptual dimensions of concern for self and concern for others
the first dimension illustrates the degree (high or low) to which a person seeks to satisfy her or his own conflict interest or face need. The second dimension represents the degree (high or low) to which a person desires to incorporate the other's conflict interest. The two dimensions are combined, resulting in five styles of handling interpersonal conflict: dominating, avoiding, obliging, compromising, and integrating
a situational approach, on the other hand, stresses
the importance of the conflict topic and the conflict situation in shaping what conflict styles will be used in what types of relationships and in what contexts, or both of these. Situational factors such as the conflict topic, situation, relationship type, time pressure, and conflict goals can have a strong influence on whether we will engage in the conflict or avoid the conflict altogether.
our cultural values (individualism and collectivism) influence our behaviors and our needs when we are in a close relationship, such as
the need for autonomy and connection.
As a result of the struggle with the autonomy and connection pulls, one other outcome among the individualistic cultural mindset is
the phenomenon known as the "hook up culture" Hooking up carries a wide range of meanings, but is linked to consensual sexual activities with no pretense of starting a committed relationship between young, mostly college age students. pg 209
The term public self refers to those facets of the person that are readily available and are easily shared with others
the term private self, on the other hand, refers to those facets of the person that are potentially communicable but are not usually shared with generalized others self disclosure patterns in different cultures 214-215
the second set of background factors takes into consideration the global workplace situation, especially in incorporating...
the value dimension of small-large power distance on top of the value dimension of individualism-collectivism
most interracial couples, however have developed specific coping strategies to deal with recurring prejudice and race situations.
these coping strategies include: -ignoring/dismissing -normalizing (thinking of themselves and appealing to others to treat them as "normal" couples with marital ups and downs -withdrawing (avoiding places and groups of people who are hostile to interracial couples) -educating (outreach efforts to help other to accept interracial couples) -confrontation (addressing directly the people who insult or embarrass them) -prayer (relying on faith to solve problems) -humor (adding levity in distressing situations to ease or ward off the pains of racism) 222
Conflict is an aggravating disagreement process between
two interdependent parties over incompatible goals and the interference each perceives from the other in her or his effort to achieve those goals
For many large East Asian corporations, for example, Confucian-driven hierarchical principles promote a type of parent-child relationship between the manager and the subordinate
under the benevolent conflict approach, although a manager can confront her or his employees to motivate them to work harder, it is rare that subordinates will directly challenge the manager's authority during a conflict interaction. however, subordinates might opt for using passive-aggressive or sabotage conflict strategies to deal with workplace tensions or frustrations. in dealing with low-importance conflicts, managers would consider using the "smooth over" relational tactics or subtle pressure tactics to gain employees compliance. However, in dealing with high-importance conflicts benevolent managers could act in a very directive or autocratic and controlling manner.
Five specific communications skills - facework management, mindful listening, cultural empathy, mindful reframing, and adaptive code switching
were recommended as starters to practice competent intercultural conflict management
Oftentimes culture-based conflict styles and behaviors lead to intercultural collisions in the negotiation process
with their views of the situation distorted by ethnocentric lenses and mindless stereotypes, both parties in the conflict may be stuck in their polarized positions and perceptual views. They must learn new conflict management skills to disengage from their set behaviors and to free themselves from their negative conflict loops
the research literature focusing on individualists, the compromising style often connotes task-based compromises -
you have to give something tangible to get something back and reach a midpoint compromising solution However, for collectivists, the term "compromise" often means relational give-and-take concessions from a long-term reciprocity perspective. In other words, by "giving in" during a particular conflict episode, both have the mutual understanding that each individual has taken turns giving in. collectivists also tend to use more obliging and avoiding conflict styles in a wider variety of conflict situations than do individualists
