InterComm Ch. 9-12 - Quiz Questions & Material

Example of covert conflict

-a person may deliberately do something to hurt or upset another person -being passive aggressive -playing "games"

Example of overt conflict

-calmly discuss their disagreement -intensely argue about ideas -engage in a shouting match -physical attacks

Trust

-confidence that others will be dependable -rooted in the belief that a friend cares about us and our welfare

Three primary styles of love

-eros -storge -ludus

True

True/False: Marriage is occurring later in life now than it used to

True

True/False: The hypothesis that the US is classless has been disproved by the fact that most people seek romantic partners of their own social class or above it

False:

True/False: Unlike other relationships, dual perspective is unimportant in communication between friends

we assume that similarities exist and that differences do not

A common barrier to intercultural communication occurs when ______________________

fear

A major factor that stands in the way of effective intercultural communication is _________

supplemental family

According to Braithwaite et al, which type of voluntary kin fulfills desires and needs not met by biological and legal family

substitute family

According to Braithwaite et al, which type of voluntary kin replaces biological and legal family?

Uncertainty Avoidance Theory

According to the ________________________________________, cultures differ greatly in their attitudes about things they are unsure of

peer pressure

According to your book, all of the following is included in the nature of friendship except: -peer pressure -trust -emotional closeness -acceptance -willingness to invest

Murphy's Law

According to _____________________, if anything can go wrong, it will

True

True/False: Pragma love types are more likely to use online matching services to specify their criteria for a desirable partner

False

True/False: Romantic relationships rarely follow a developmental course

False

True/False: When friendships deteriorate or suffer serious violation, communication changes in unpredictable ways

True

True/False: Women are more likely than men to sustain ties with people who live at a distance

True

True/False: more people are choosing to remain unmarried than ever before

Invitational communication

in which people signal that they are interested in interacting

Passion

intensely positive feelings and fervent desire for another person, not restricted to sexual or sensual feelings

Examples of "Games"

-Blemish -Now I've Got You, You Son of a Bitch -Mine Is Worse Than Yours -Yes, But

How conflict can enhance relationships

-help individuals grow and strengthen their relationships -teaches us to consider different points of view -can enlarge partners' understanding of each other

Five basic expectations of friends and family

-investments -emotional closeness -acceptance -trust -support

Secondary styles of love

-pragma -mania -agape

True

True/False: Americans have historically seen raising children as a primary objective of marriage, but it is no longer seen as the only goal of marriage

True

True/False: Beginning in the late 1700s or early 1800s, most people in the US picked mates based on love and companionship

High power

What type of culture has great respect for authority and there is great difference in the power held by the people and the ordinary citizen

when a person has a ton of concerns they've repressed for a long time

When is "kitchen-sinking" most likely to occur?

Storge

Which kind of love grows out of common interests, values, and life goals?

ludus

Which kind of love see love as a game?

Flaming

excessively insulting another person online, often using language that is derogatory or obscene

Covert conflict

exists when people express their feelings about disagreement indirectly

Interpersonal conflict

expressed disagreement, struggle, or discord

Equity

fairness, based on the perception that both people invest equally in a relationship

Friends of the heart

friends that stay close regardless of distance or circumstances

Friends of the road

friends who change as we move along the road of life

Cyberbullying

anything online that is meant to hurt another person

Stage 4: Encouraging Independence

as children enter adolescence, they tend to seek greater autonomy

Lose-lose

assumes that conflict results in loses for everyone and that it is unhealthy and destructive for relationships

Hooking up

engaging in some degree of sexual activity with a person with no expectation of seeing that person again

Ludus

playful love; loves adventure, challenges, and fun but love is not to be taken seriously

Internal tensions

relationship stresses that grow out of people and their interactions

Closeness through doing

typically an important aspect of men friendships

Closeness through dialogue

typically an important aspect of women friendships

Relationship rules

unspoken understandings that regulate how people interact

Revising communication

when problems arise, partners evaluate whether they want to work through them

dialogue

For individuals socialized in feminine speech communities, closeness in interpersonal relationships is primary achieved through:

voluntary

Friendship is

Dual perspective

The ability to understand both your own and another's perspective, beliefs, thoughts, and feelings.

loyalty

The most interpersonally constructive but passive response to relational conflict is the _______________ response

-passion -commitment -intimacy

Three Dimensions of a Romantic Relationship

False (it is actually men who become anxious)

True/False: Compared to men, during conflict women's heart rates rise more quickly and to higher levels and stay elevated for longer periods of time

True

True/False: Conflict can be beneficial for individuals and relationships

True

True/False: Conflict is natural in most Western relationships

False

True/False: It is best to address conflict right away, even if one person is tired or you're in a public setting

False

True/False: Most friendships end abruptly rather than slowly deteriorating

Exit response

involves physically walking out or psychologically withdrawing

Psychological responsibility

involves remembering, planning, and scheduling family matters

Loyalty response

involves staying committed to a relationship despite differences

Explorational communication

learning about each other in a relationship to see if it should continue to become something serious

Support

listening, showing you care, being available, they way in which you respond

Bracketing

noting that an issue arising in the course of conflict should be discussed later

Stage 6: Postlaunching Children

once children leave the home, couples have to learn how to redefine their relationship

Blemish

one person pretends to be complimentary but actually puts another down

Overt conflict

out in the open and explicit; exists when people deal with their differences in a direct-straightforward manner

Stage 3: Developing a Family

parent-child relationships are important and begin to be defined

Intensifying communication

partners spend more time together and rely less on external structure (such as movies or parties)

Pragma

practical love; these lovers have clear criteria for partners

Committed romantic relationships

relationships between individuals who assume that they will be primary and continuing parts of each other's lives

Stage 2: Enlarging a Family

the additions of children; this decreases the amount of couple time and changes the focus of their communication

Conformity orientation

the extent to which family members are expected to adhere to family hierarchy and conform in beliefs

Commitment

the intention to remain involved in a relationship

Navigation

the ongoing process of staying committed and living a life together despite ups and downs

Placemaking

the process of creating a comfortable personal environment that reflects the values, experiences, and tastes of the couple

Social Exchange Theory

theory that says people apply economic principles to evaluate their relationships

Agape

these lovers are generous and selfless, putting a loved one's happiness ahead of their own

Mania

these lovers experience emotional extremes and are sometimes unsure if other love them; passionate yet plays games

words, thoughts, and emotions

Clifford Notarius identified the following three key elements that influence satisfaction in long-term relationships

high-context

If you place a great emphasis on personal relationships or oral agreements, you are likely from a __________ ______________ culture

individualistic

In _________________________ cultures, members are responsible for themselves and perhaps their immediate family

Example of win-lose

Lenny says, "I don't like to lose arguments. The way I figure it, when you have a disagreement there can be only one winner." Lenny's orientation to conflict is best described as:

stabilized friendship

Nick and Michael have been friends for many years and share a high level of trust. Their friendship is best described as being in the ____________ stage

eros

People with this love style are likely to self-disclose early in the relationship, be very sentimental, and fall in love fast

low-context

The culture that prefers information to be explicitly stated in messages in the ____________ _______________ culture

exist not in words but in people

To improve intercultural communication, we should recognize that meanings ___________________

Stage 7: Retirement

brings about further change in family life and can be positive or negative; getting to do what you want instead of earning a living

False

True/False: Placemaking is a destructive force in romantic relationships

True

True/False: the number of unmarried people in the US has doubled in the past 50 years

rules that are spelled out

A low-context cultures prefers __________________

True

True/False: Male abusers are far more likely than female abusers to inflict physical injuries, sometimes severe ones

True

True/False: Men are more likely than women to use coercive tactics, both verbal and physical, to avoid discussing problems and to force their resolutions on others

True

True/False: Misunderstandings between friends arise out of interpretation of others' behaviors, not the behaviors themselves

Passive aggression

acting aggressively while denying feeling or acting aggressive

Voice response

addresses conflict directly and attempts to resolve it

indirectly letting the other party know your bottom line

All of the following are American styles of business negotiation EXCEPT: -overstating your initial position to establish a strong image -indirectly letting the other party know your bottom line -keeping your bottom line secret from the other person to preserve power and gain the most -working to win all you can -being adversarial

Counterpropsals

All of the following are forms of constructive communication EXCEPT: -asking for clarification -counterpropsals -sensitive listening -dual perspective -compromises

dual perspective

All of the following are forms of unproductive communication EXCEPT: -kitchen sinking -cross complaining -poor listening -dual perspective -excessive metacommunication

conflict is typically destructive for individuals and relationships

All of the following are included in the five principles of interpersonal conflict EXCEPT: -conflict influences its resolution and its impact on interpersonal climates -conflict can be directly communicated or covertly expressed through indirect communication -conflict is both natural and inevitable in interpersonal relationships -conflict is typically destructive for individuals and relationships -conflict styles and meanings are shaped by social location - membership in cultures and social communities

Storge

a comfortable, even-keeled kind of love based on friendship and compatibility

Stage 1: Establishing a Family

a couple settles into a committed relationship and works out expectations

Now I've Got You, You Son of a Bitch

a person deliberately sets another person up to fail

Yes, But

a person pretends to be asking for help but then refuses all help that's offered

Mine Is Worse Than Yours

a person tries to "one-up" you with their own problems instead of listening to yours

Eros

a powerful, passionate style of love that blazes to life suddenly and dramatically

Relational culture

a private world of rules, understandings, meanings, and patterns of acting and interpreting that partners create for their relationship

Stage 5: Launching Children

a vital change for families, where children begin to leave the home for college, work, etc.

Win-lose

assumes that one person wins at the expense of the other

Win-win

assumes that there are usually ways to resolve differences so that everyone gains

Contracting

building a solution through negotiation and the acceptance of parts of proposals

Neglect response

denies or minimizes problems, disagreements, anger, tension, or other matter that could lead to overt conflict

Individuality

each of us is an individual with particular needs, goals, love styles, perceptual tendencies, and qualities that affect what we look for in relationships

Intimacy

feelings of closeness, connection, and tenderness

Grace

granting forgiveness or putting aside our own needs when there is no standard that says we should or must do so

Games

highly patterned interactions in which real conflicts are hidden or denied and a counterfeit excuse is created for arguing or criticizing

Conversation orientation

how open or closed communication is

Consensual families

in these families, communication tends to have substantial depth and breadth

Protective families

in these families, conflict is avoided and children are expected to adhere to parents' values, beliefs, and decisions

Pluralistic families

in these families, conversation is open and family members are encourages to express their thoughts and feelings, and agreement is not required

Laissez-faire families

in these families, parents and children have limited interactions and children are inclined to be relatively independent of parents

When does interpersonal conflict occur?

when there is expressed tension between people who are interdependent, perceive they have incompatible goals, and feel a need to resolve those issues

Environmental spoiling

when we're forced to be around others whose values, lifestyles, or behaviors conflict with our own

Kitchen-sinking

where everything except the kitchen sink is thrown into the argument

Second shift

work that one partner (usually, but not always, a woman) does after coming home from their job

Acceptance

you can reveal your true self to them without judgement; sticking with you despite your flaws