Interpersonal Communication: Unit 1 Language/Verbal Communication (Language Chapter)

Communication accommodation theory

a theory that explores why and how people modify their communication to fit situational, social, cultural, and relational contexts

Need

Stating wants or requesting help or support ex) "I'm saving money for summer vacation. Is it OK if we skip our regular night out this week?"

triangle of meaning

- indicates the relationship among a thought, symbol, and referent and highlights the indirect relationship between the symbol and referent

key developments of language in babies

1) 2-4 months. Babies can respond to different tones of voice (angry, soothing, or playful). 2) 6 months. Babies can associate some words, like bye-bye, with a corresponding behavior, and they begin "babbling," which is actually practice for more intelligible speech to come. 3) 8-10 months. Babies learn that pointing can attract or direct attention, and they begin to follow adult conversations, shifting eye contact from one speaker to the next. 4) 1 year. Babies recognize some individual words (people's names, no) and basic rituals of verbal interaction such as question-pause-answer and various greetings. Shortly before or after this time, babies begin to use "melodic utterances" echoing the variety in pitch and tone in various verbal interactions such as questioning, greeting, or wanting.

Common Types of Unsupportive Messages

1) Global labels. "You're a liar." Labeling someone irresponsible, untrustworthy, selfish, or lazy calls his or her whole identity as a person into question. Such sweeping judgments and generalizations are sure to only escalate a negative situation. 2) Sarcasm. "No, you didn't miss anything in class on Wednesday. We just sat here and looked at each other." Even though sarcasm is often disguised as humor, it usually represents passive-aggressive behavior through which a person indirectly communicates negative feelings. 3) Dragging up the past. "I should have known not to trust you when you never paid me back that $100 I let you borrow." Bringing up negative past experiences is a tactic used by people when they don't want to discuss a current situation. Sometimes people have built up negative feelings that are suddenly let out by a seemingly small thing in the moment. 4) Negative comparisons. "Jade graduated from college without any credit card debt. I guess you're just not as responsible as her." Holding a person up to the supposed standards or characteristics of another person can lead to feelings of inferiority and resentment. Parents and teachers may unfairly compare children to their siblings. 5) Judgmental "you" messages. "You're never going to be able to hold down a job." Accusatory messages are usually generalized overstatements about another person that go beyond labeling but still do not describe specific behavior in a productive way. 6) Threats. "If you don't stop texting back and forth with your ex, both of you are going to regret it." Threatening someone with violence or some other negative consequence usually signals the end of productive communication. Aside from the potential legal consequences, threats usually overcompensate for a person's insecurity.

reasons for breached civility

1) Individual differences. Some people differ in their interpretations of civility in various settings, and some people have personality traits that may lead to actions deemed uncivil on a more regular basis. Ignorance. In some cases, especially in novel situations involving uncertainty, people may not know what social norms and expectations are. 2) Lack of skill. Even when we know how to behave, we may not be able to do it. Such frustrations may lead a person to revert to undesirable behavior such as engaging in personal attacks during a conflict because they don't know what else to do. 3) Lapse of control. Self-control is not an unlimited resource. Even when people know how to behave and have the skill to respond to a situation appropriately, they may not do so. Even people who are careful to monitor their behavior have occasional slipups. 4) Negative intent. Some people, in an attempt to break with conformity or challenge societal norms, or for self-benefit (publicly embarrassing someone in order to look cool or edgy), are openly uncivil. Such behavior can also result from mental or psychological stresses or illnesses.

Feeling

Communicating emotions ex) "I feel at peace when we're together."

Thought

Conclusion about or judgment of experiences and observations ex) "Students today have much less respect for authority."

observation

Report of sensory experiences or memories ex) "Pauline asked me to bring this file to you."

commissives

Saying, "I promise," "I guarantee," or "I pledge," does more than convey meaning; it communicates intent.

ladder of Abstraction

The ladder of abstraction is a model used to illustrate how language can range from concrete to abstract

convergence

a person makes his or her communication more like another person's ex) communicative flexibility

divergence

a person uses communication to emphasize the differences between his or her conversational partner and his or herself

Facts

conclusions based on direct observation or group consensus

Inferences

conclusions based on thoughts or speculation, but not direct observation

social swearing

create social bonds or for impression management (to seem cool or attractive). This type of swearing is typically viewed as male dominated, but some research studies have shown that the differences in frequency and use of swearing by men and women aren't as vast as perceived

Codes

culturally agreed on and ever-changing systems of symbols that help us organize, understand, and generate meaning

Denotation

definitions that are accepted by the language group as a whole, or the dictionary definition of a word. the dictionary definition of a word ex) cowboy is a man that takes care of cattle

Connotation

definitions that are based on emotion- or experience-based associations people have with a word ex) cowboys make me think of spaghetti westerns

Accents

distinct styles of pronunciation

Judgments

expressions of approval or disapproval that are subjective and not verifiable

verbal expressions

help us communicate our observations, thoughts, feelings, and needs

Whole messages

include all the relevant types of expressions needed to most effectively communicate in a given situation, including what you see, what you think, what you feel, and what you need

contaminated messages

include mixed or misleading expressions ex) if Alyssa says to her college-aged daughter, "It looks like you wasted another semester," she has contaminated observations, feelings, and thoughts

Cultural bias

is a skewed way of viewing or talking about a group that is typically negative

Affective language

language used to express a person's feelings and create similar feelings in another person

unsupportive messages

make others respond defensively, which can lead to feelings of separation and actual separation or dissolution of a relationship

Esperanto

means "hopeful," is the most well-known and widely used auxiliary language that was intended to serve as a common international language

supportive messages

messages communicated in an open, honest, and nonconfrontational way, people are sure to come together

Partial messages

missing a relevant type of expression and can lead to misunderstanding and conflict

Neologisms

newly coined or used words. Newly coined words are those that were just brought into linguistic existence

Adjacency pairs

related communication structures that come one after the other (adjacent to each other) in an interaction ex) thank you after a compliment

Displacement

our ability to talk about events that are removed in space or time from a speaker and situation

Annoyance swearing

provides a sense of relief, as people use it to manage stress and tension, which can be a preferred alternative to physical aggression

code-switching

refers to changes in accent, dialect, or language

grammar

rules that govern how words are used to make phrases and sentences

inference-observation confusion

the misperception of an inference (conclusion based on limited information) as an observation (an observed or agreed-on fact) ex) If a student posts on a professor-rating site the statement "This professor grades unfairly and plays favorites," then they are presenting an inference and a judgment that could easily be interpreted as a fact.

language acquisition

the process by which we learn to understand, produce, and use words to communicate within a given language group

Directives

utterances that try to get another person to do something

Dialects

versions of languages that have distinct words, grammar, and pronunciation