Marriage and Family Ch. 1

Insitution for American Values (The Conservative View of the Great Debate)

-promoting marriage as the best basis for family life -strengthening existing marriages -reducing divorce rate -discouraging such alternative forms of family life as cohabitation and single-parent families -Researching the state of marriage and family life in the US today, including the attitudes of young people

Myth: Half of all marriages end in divorce

-the divorce rate is now lower than it had been in the 1970's -the lower your education and income, the higher your chancer are of divorce -If you have a good education, good income, come from an intact family, have a religious affiliation, and marry after age 25 without having a baby beforehand, your chances of divorce are very low

The Future Possibilities of Marriage:

1) that marriage will revert to what it was in the past- a social institution governed by strong expectations 2) Marriage will remain important to people, but will not be as dominant as it was in the past 3) Marriage will become merely one of many alternatives of experiencing an intimate relationship and will be no more valued than any other

The Great Debate

The debate between the liberal versus the conservative view of marriage and the family

Myth: We've lost the extended family

In the past, families would often live together in one large estate, but in recent years, the trend is to establish an individual's own home. However In 2012, the trend rose by 6% in multigenerational households

Sources of loneliness

low self-esteem, having a parent or guardian die, lack of supporting parents while growing up, low of intimate relationships in adulthood, financial stress, and health problems

Problems of loneliness

High report of physical/emotional health problems, depression, difficulty controlling their moods and thinking patterns, addictive behaviors, low energy, and feelings of fatigue Can progress and be associated with suicidal thoughts

Cohabitation

-living with someone in an intimate, sexual relationship without being legally married -Majority of these couples are under the age of 40 with a substantial portion having children under the age of 18 -It is a myth that testing a relationship by living together helps in beating the odds of the high divorce rate

Premarital Sex

-By the late 1980's, 47 percent of high school students have had premarital sex -8/10 teenagers who bear children are unmarried

Employed Mothers

-For the fist time, more than half of new mothers (children under age 6) stayed in the labor force -women work for a better life style, out of necessity, or because they define their jobs as part of their fulfillment

Myth: Opposites Attract

-Individuals who are opposite have a lower probability of a lasting marriage -Differences in the beginning that were attractive initially become irrupting, frustrating, and sources of conflict

Myth: Happily Married people don't have conflict

-It is unrealistic to expect a conflict free union -Conflict theorists find that conflict can facilitate creative solutions and increase solidarity over the long run -conflict can prove positive contribution and effect conflict reunion makes a union

Birth Rates

-Many women are putting off having children until mid/late 30's, decreasing their ability to have many children -Birth rates have tremendously declined and without immigration, the US population will decline if rates stay at present low level

Living Alone

-More women than men live alone -More African Americans live alone than any other ethnical group -People live alone because they are widowed, divorced, separated, or never married.

Why do individuals stay in unhappy marriages?

-Sense of duty (religious beliefs or family tradition) -Children -belief that divorce would only further distract from their happiness -committed to marriage as an institution -tended to be older individuals

Myth: Having children increases marital satisfaction

-Studies show that during the child rearing years, marital satisfaction decreases because of the demands -they no longer have the time or energy to cultivate a relationship -When children leave home, marital satisfaction might actually increase again -decreased satisfaction is not the same as dissatisfaction -the effects of having children depend on the marriage

Household Size

-The average size of the household has declined because of increased individuals living alone and lower birth rates -changing in average households also reflect declining fertility rates, increasing number of non family and single parent households

Myth: A good sex life is the best predictor of marital satisfaction

-The way you communicate with your spouse, the way in which you solve problems, and spend your leisure time is more important than sex -sexual compatibility and fulfillment are not essential to a meaningful and satisfying marriage -you are more likely to find sexual fulfillment in marriage than in either being single or cohabitation

Martial Resiliance

-Those who deny the trend toward increasing individualism and personal obsession with happiness. -Their argument is that the proportion of troubled marriages has not increased, but that it is easier to get out of marriage and there is no longer a stigma attached to divorce -the growing number of sing parent families does not reflect a preferred state in order to pursue happiness, but the problems of finding a suitable mate

Delaying Marriage

-Those who get married early (before the age of 23) are likely to come from disadvantaged families or from families with high conservative protestant or Mormon affliction, have low educational expectations, and who cohabit before marriage -Those who delay marriage likely didn't have a father in the home growing up, wanting to experience the world before settling down, fear of commitment, and high divorce rate are factors in people wanting to put off marriage

Changes in Traditional Arrangements

-Tradition: Breadwinning father, a stay-at-home mother, and children -In the last decade, the rate of increase of non family households was twice that of family households, and families headed by women with no husband present grew three times as fast as married couple families

Myth: People marry each other because they love eachother

-We generally lose all judgement during courtship -We may marry out of family or societal pressure, because we are lonely, or because of a need for economic security

Secret to a happy marriage

-You have to like the kind of person that your spouse is -The friendship between the marriage -commitment -humor -ability to handle conflict -happiness cannot be the only factor or insane love

Social Class

A group of people with similar levels of income, education, and occupational prestige, and similar lifestyle -The higher the social class, the more resources you have -Can be used to explain gender differences: because men historically brought more money into the household, they retained the power over women allowing them the final say

Familism

A value on family living, leads us to cherish our families, to subordinate our personal desires if necessary for the good of the family group, and to view marriage as that which demands our commitment and fidelity

Individualism

An emphasis on personal achievement and on personal happiness and fulfillment -Utilitarian _____: stresses getting ahead for yourself -Expresssive _____: stresses focussing on fulfillment by doing those things that satisfy you

Conflict Theory

Asserts that all societies are characterized by inequality, conflict, and change as groups within the society struggle over scarce resources -Because many individuals in society have similar interests, there may be scarce resources, meaning that there is dissatisfaction

Systems Theory

Asserts that the intimate group must be analyzed as a whole; the group has boundaries that distinguish it from other groups -Used by family therapists -Thus particular people form the system and have particular rules and roles that apply to their system -The group is composed of interrelated parts that influence and work together to maintain the system

Exchange Theory

Asserts that we all attempt to keep our costs lower than our rewards in interaction -Costs: time, money, emotional or intellectual energy -Rewards: emotional or intellectual gratification, money, a sense of security, anything an individual defines as satisfying -Can happen in selecting a life partner and in the negotiation of responsibilities of dual-career couples

Strengths and Benefits of Marriage

Healthy marriage has lower rates of alcoholism, suicide and depression, are physically and emotionally healthier, and are less likely to engage being drinking or use marijuana; are less sexually frustrated; are better off financially; and lives longer than the unmarried

Committed college relationships

Reduce the likelihood of mental health problems, weight issues, and obesity. The more committed the relationship, the higher the individuals emotional well-being. Satisfying intimate relationships are critical for crisis situations/day to day living

Extended Family

Refers to a group of three or more generations formed as an outgrowth of the parent-child relationship

Coalition

Subsystems within the main system of the family -Can transmit unhealthy patterns from one generation to another -children can often from a coalition with one parent against the other

Values

Things that are preferred because people define them as worthy and desirable

Loneliness

The feeling of being isolated from desired relationships, dramatizes the fact that we are social creatures

Martial Decline

Those who acknowledge the decline point out the increasingly individualistic society that we now have with a strong emphasis on personal happiness, because of this, marriage is unlikely to last past the point where the individual no longer feels happy

Social Loneliness

You have less interpersonal interaction than you desire

Nuclear Family

husband, wife, and children

Integration

the individual may not feel that he or she is a meaningful and significant part of any group

The Alternatives to Marriage Project (Liberal view of The Great Debate)

to promote equality and fairness for unmarried people -equal support for all families in which children live -legal recognition of all types of families, so that all may receive the benefits offered to any -legalization of same-sex marriages -support of research on unmarried relationships and families in order to identify and address their needs -legislation that makes discrimination on the basis of marital status illegal

Symbolic Interaction Theory

views humans primarily as cognitive creatures who are influenced and shaped by their interaction experiences -believe that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts -Definition of the situation: if a situation is defined as real, it has real consequences -Ex. A jealous boyfriend may be jealous over something that isn't actually happening with his girlfriend, but because he believes it is real, there will be real consequences

Emotional Loneliness

you have fewer intimate relationships than you desire, can result from a lack of romantic intimacy or family intimacy or both