PSYC 215 - Chapter 9

. In China, India, Indonesia, Iran, Taiwan, and the Palestinian territories of Israel, for example, people valued ___ in a mate. Yet in Finland, France, Norway, Sweden, the Netherlands, and West Germany, chas- tity was either ___ or negatively valued. For example, anthropologist Helen Fisher (2004) believes that romantic love is hard- wired in the neurochemistry of the brain. In particular, Fisher argues that the neu- rotransmitter dopamine, which drives animals to seek rewards such as food and sex, is essential to the pleasure that is felt when these drives are satisfied. Hence, she argues, ___ levels are associated with both the highs of romantic pas- sion and the lows of rejection. Citing evidence from studies of humans and other animals, she also points to neurochemical parallels between romantic love and ___ When American students were sur- veyed in 1967, 35% of men and 76% of women said yes. Twenty years later, only 14% of men and 20% of women said they would marry someone with whom they were not in love (Simpson et al., 1986). The shift among women may reflect the pragmatic point that marrying for love is an ____ that few women of the past could afford. In many cultures, marriage is seen as a ___ between families that is influenced by social, economic, and religious considerations. Indeed, ___ marriages are still common in India, China, many Muslim countries, and sub-Saharan Africa. So, when Robert Levine and others (1995) asked college students from 11 countries about marrying without love, they found that the percentage who said they would do so ranged from 4% in the United States, 5% in Australia, and 8% in England, up to 49% in India, and 51% in Pakistan. , an invisible separation remains between the up- per and lower castes that lasts from birth to death—and "___" of couples who dare to cross these traditional lines are not uncommon In surveys, young adults in China, more than in the United States, said they would be influenced in their mate selection decisions by ___ and close friends . Chinese participants set higher minimum requirements for ___ characteristics such as "high social status," "powerful," "wealthy," "high earning capacity," and "good family background," while Americans rated __ attributes such as "honest and trust- worthy," "has a sense of humor," "intelligent," "exciting," and "highly educated" as more important They found that the American lyrics focused more on the two lovers as ___ entities, independent of social context During the 1940s, biologist ___ and his col- leagues (1948; 1953) conducted the first large-scale survey of sexual practices in the United States. . Many of his results were shocking; reported sexual activity was more ___ and more ___ than anyone had expected. . Studies of everyday interactions reveal that men view the world in more ___ terms than women do. . The males also rated the female actors as being more seductive and more flirtatious than the women had rated themselves as being. Among men more than women, eye contact, a compliment, a friendly remark, a brush against the arm, and an innocent smile are often interpreted as __ A recent speed-dating study showed that while men ___ sexual interest, women tended to ___ sexual interest . As in the past, men saw more ___ in vari- ous female behaviors than the women reported about themselves. Interestingly, other women perceived these behaviors in ___—agreeing more the male participants than the female participants. men report being more ___, more likely to think about sex, more permissive, more likely to enjoy casual sex without emotional commitment, and more likely to fantasize about sex with multiple partners But ___ men than women also wanted "to have sex with anyone I choose" David Schmitt (2003) found that most men desire more sex partners and more sexual variety than most women do, regardless of their relationship ___ or ___. . Although an exclusive homosexual orientation is relatively rare among hu- mans and other animals, homosexual behaviors are far more ___. In Bio- logical Exuberance, Bruce Bagemihl (1999) reports that sexual encounters among male-male and female-female pairs have been observed in more than __ spe- cies, including giraffes, goats, birds, chimpanzees, and lizards.

chastity unimportant dopamine substance addiction. economic luxury transaction arranged honor killings parents reputational personal isolated Alfred Kinsey frequent varied sexualized sexual come-ons overperceive underperceive sexual intent sexual terms promiscuous more status sexual orientation common 450

Representing the outermost layer of our social network, ____ comes from remote relationships and the social identities we derive from, say, from alumni of the schools we have attended and clubs we join on the basis of common needs or interests. The more voluntary associations we have, the ___ one's collective loneliness. ___, which translates to "pulling away" in English, is characterized by a full withdrawal from intimate relationships outside of the family They do not seem to suffer from depression or other well-known psychological disorders. However, some research suggests the young adults who enter these episodes share histories of parental rejection, family disruption, and peer bullying and rejection (Krieg & Dickie, 2013). Ironically, it appears that people in collectivist cultures are at a high risk for ___, relative to Westerners, perhaps reflecting the greater urgency placed on relationships in these cultures Feeling lonely (which is not the same as being alone) is most likely to strike during times of life ___—as in the first year at college, after a romantic breakup, or when a loved one moves far away. Surveys show that people who are unattached are ___ than those with romantic partners, but that those who are widowed, divorced, and separated are ___ than people who have never been married. , a comparison of multiple recent surveys of American high school and college stu- dents have indicated that loneliness rates have steadily __ from 1978 to 2012. 96% said they often or sometimes try harder to be friendly to other people, 94% take their mind off the problem by reading or watching TV, and 93% try extra hard to succeed at another aspect of life. Although fewer in number, some people are so desperate that they use ___ to wash away feelings of lonelines , research us- ing the online dating site OkCupid shows that women who look right into the camera or sport cleavage do quite well but that men are more successful when they look ___, don't ___— and hold __! When researchers looked at commonalities in couples who had met on this site, they discovered that their answers tended beyond coincidence to match on certain ___ questions, According to one classic perspective, people are attracted to those with whom they can have a relationship that is ___ (Byrne & Clore, 1970; Lott & Lott, 1974). The rewards may be ___, as when people provide us with attention, support, money, status, information, and other valuable resources. Or the rewards may be ___, as when it feels good to be with someone who is beautiful, smart, or funny, or who happens to be in our presence when times are good. In an important extension of this perspective, R. Matthew Montoya and Robert Horton (2014) have suggested that each of us is attracted to others we see as being both able and willing to fulfill our various____ human beings all over the world exhibit patterns of attraction and mate selection that favor the conception, birth, and survival of their ___. This approach has a great deal to say about differences in this regard between men and women. Among those who met between 2007 and 2009, the most recent time frame fully sampled, 22% of heterosexual couples had met on the ___. The numbers were far higher for ___ couples, nearly 70% of whom had met online

collective loneliness lower Hikikomori loneliness transition or disruption lonelier lonelier declined alcohol or drugs away smile animals odd re- warding direct indirect relationship needs offspring Internet same-sex

people of the opposite sex were seen as more attractive as the night wore on. They found that these ratings increased as the night wore on only among patrons who were not __ to a relationship. According to Buss, women must be ___ selective because they are bio- logically limited in the number of children they can bear and raise in a lifetime. A woman must, therefore, protect her children and so searches for a mate who possesses (or has the potential to possess) __ resources and is willing to commit those resources to support her offspring. The result is that women should be attracted to men who are ___ and financially secure or who have ambition, intelligence, stability, and other traits predictive of future ___. In contrast, men can father an unlimited number of children and can en- sure their reproductive success by inseminating many women. Men are restricted, however, by their ability to attract ___ partners and by their lack of cer- tainty as to whether the babies born are actually their ___. With these motives springing from evolution, men seek out women who are __ and physically attractive (having smooth skin, full lips, lustrous hair, good muscle tone, and other youthful features)—attributes that signal __ and reproductive fertility. To minimize their paternal uncertainty, men should also favor ___, pursuing women they think will be sexually faithful rather than promiscuous. Both men and women gave equally high ratings to certain attributes, such as "having a pleasant disposition." In the vast majority of countries, however, "good looks" and "no previous experience in sexual intercourse" were valued more by __, whereas "good financial prospect" and "ambi- tious and industrious" were more important to ___. . Anal- yses of personal ads appearing in magazines and newspapers revealed that in the dating marketplace the "deal" is that women offer __, while men offer wealth. Records showed that although men uniformly visited profiles across all levels of income, women visited male profiles with ___ income levels at higher rates. This ___ was so large that male profiles with the highest income level received 10 times more visits than the lowest . In the large-budget condition, men spent somewhat more play money on ___, and women spent somewhat more on___, but both were just as interested in a partner who was kind, lively, and creative. In the low-budget condition, how- ever, men spent even ___ of their play money on physical attractiveness, and women spent even more on social status. When mate seekers can't have it all and must therefore focus on what's most important, they prioritize their choices in the ways predicted by ___ Also consistent with the evolutionary perspective is a universal tendency for men to seek ___ women (who are most likely to be fertile) and for women to desire ___ men (who are most likely to have financial resources). Buss (1989) found this age-preference discrepancy in all cultures he studied, with men on av- erage wanting to marry women who were ___ years younger and women wanting men who were ___ years older. Based on their analysis of personal ads, Douglas Kenrick and Richard Keefe (1992) found that men in their twenties are ___ interested in younger women and slightly older women still of fertile age. But men in their thirties seek out women who are __ years younger, whereas men in their fifties prefer women ___ years younger. Teenage boys say they are most attracted to women who are slightly older than they are, women in their ___. . Apparently, in the United States, the mate preferences predicted by evolutionary theory persist throughout the ___ —leading evolutionary psychologists to speculate that ___ may have evolved as a sexually selected mating signal. Sure enough participants saw him as a more desirable date when he was said to have bought the ___. An abundance of ___ relative to men is associated with lower marriage rates and lower paternal investment; a relative ___ of men is associated with higher marriage rates and more paternal investment. the perception of competition among men would lead them to spend more money on mating-related ___.

committed highly economic older success fertile own young health chastity men women beauty higher "income attraction" effect physical attractiveness social status more evolutionary theory. younger older 2.7 3.4 equally 5 10 to 20 fertile twenties life span conspicuous consumption flashier car women abundance expenditures

, these studies have shown that in straight couples with a first child, the transition to par- enthood hastens the sense of ___ in both partners (Lawrence et al., 2008); that cohabitating gay and lesbian couples do not self-report the lowered ___ often seen in heterosexual couples (Kurdek, 2008); and that, despite the initial dip, marital satisfaction ___ again in middle age for parents whose children grow up, leave home, and empty the nest They did find, how- ever, that the steeper the initial decline in satisfaction, the more likely couples are to ___ later. This decline is, in part, related to the ___ of having and raising children, a stress that is common among newly married couples. ___ is also predictive of a loss in marital satisfaction. In a longitudinal study of 123 married couples, husbands and wives who felt like they were in a rut at one point in time were significantly less ___ nine years later Arthur Aron and his colleagues (2000) have theorized that after the exhilaration of a new relationship wears off, partners can combat boredom by engaging together in ___ activities. the more new experiences spouses said they'd had together, the more satisfied they were with their marriages. As predicted, the couples that had struggled and laughed their way through the novel and arousing activity reported more ___ with the qual- ity of their relationships than did those in the mundane and no-task groups. . Of particular relevance in turbulent economic times, research shows that financial pressures can put enormous amounts of ___ on marital rela- tions One common pattern is called ___—a tit-for-tat exchange of expressions of negative feelings. Thus, many unhappy mar- riages are also characterized by a ____, in which the wife demands that the couple discuss the relationship problems, only to be- come frustrated when her husband withdraws from such discussions there is nothing wrong with either approach to dealing with conflict. The problem lies in the ___ According to Gottman and Levenson (1992), marital stability rests on a "fairly high ___ of positive to negative behaviors" (p. 230). . A second approach is to try to understand the other's ___ of view. Being ___ to what the partner thinks and how he or she feels enhances the quality of the relationship happy couples make ___ attributions: They see the partner's undesirable behaviors as caused by factors that are ___ ("a bad day"), temporary ("It'll pass"), and limited in scope ("That's just a sore spot"). Yet they perceive desirable behaviors as caused by factors that are ___ in the partner, permanent, and generalizable to other aspects of the relationship. In contrast, unhappy couples flip the attributional coin on its tail by making the ___ distress-maintaining attributions. . By tracking married couples longitudinally, researchers have found that husbands and wives who made distress-maintaining attributions early in marriage reported ___ satisfaction at a later point in time When an intimate relationship ends, as in divorce, the effect can be ___ (Fine & Harvey, 2006)—and so stressful that people who get divorced . On average, the divorcees were more than a ___ less satisfied than their married counterparts. (1) Participants had become ___ satisfied even before divorce; (2) satisfaction levels ___ somewhat immediately after divorce; and (3) satisfaction levels never returned to __ baseline levels. In short, people may adapt but often they do not fully ___ from the experience One vital factor is the closeness of a relationship, or the extent to which the line between self and other becomes so ___ that mine and yours are one and the same. . Research shows that the more ___ couples are (as measured by the amount of time they spend together, the activi- ties they share, and the influence each partner has over the other) and the more invested they are in the rela- tionship, the longer it will likely last (Berscheid et al., 1989; Rusbult & Buunk, 1993) and the more ___ they will become when it ends The factors that contribute to the endurance of a relationship (closeness and interdependence) turn out to be the same factors that intensify the fear of ___ and make __ more diffi- cult after a relationship ends.

decline satisfaction increases break up stress Boredom satisfied new and arousing satisfaction strain negative affect reciprocity demand/withdraw interaction pattern discrepancy balance point sensitive relationship-enhancing situational inherent opposite less traumatic half point less and less rebounded original recover blurred interdependent devastated rejection coping

Roommates suffer less from the __, the more they like each other (Goleman, 1992) Happily married couples have stronger ___ systems than unhappily married couples (Kiecolt-Glaser et al., 1987) The survival rate of elderly people who have had a heart attack ___ if they receive social support from 2 or more people (Berkman et al., 1992) Relationship satisfaction affects satisfaction with work, income, and general health (Campbell, 1976) In North America, loneliest group is ___year olds. Declines over life, until health limits social activities in older age Four Main Factors (antecedents): ___ Proximity BUT- Only happens if original evaluation of a person is neutral If similarity is low, proximity can increase ___ feelings What about "Opposites attract"? Condition for opposites: Commitment is __ and plans on remaining low (a fling; represents 'adventure') ___ the other person likes them ___: People who are attractive get the benefit of the doubt on things; smarter, moral, honest It turns out the "Bridge Study" works for ___ relationships too! (Aron, 2000) Doing novel arousing activities together keeps passion __ (or restores it)! ___ Active coping Planning Re-interpret event in a more positive light Low denial ___ Distancing behaviour No efforts to repair "Secures" tend to stay in relationships ___ than "Avoiders" and "Anxious." ___ people often = couples BUT they have negative, problematic communication Exception: anxious women and avoidant men because their behaviors match ___ 25-30% of participants change ___; new experiences change working models and expectations Commitment to a relationship depends not only on rewards, costs, comparison level, and alternatives, but also on how much a person has ___ in a relationship that would be lost by ending it Investments include tangible and intangible things What predicts staying together? Investment Model (Rusbult, 1986) Commitment = ___ The breakers, those who indicated a high level of responsibility for the breakup decision, feel less ___ over the breakup than do the breakees, the ones they break up with.

flu immune doubles 18-30 Proximity Similarity Reciprocity Physical Attractiveness negative low Reassured Halo Effect existing alive Growth Destiny longer Anxious + avoidant gender stereotypes attachment style invested Satisfaction - Alternatives +Investments distress

Time and again, the re- sults supported what they call the ___: The perceived physical attractiveness of a group as a whole is greater than the average attractiveness of its individual members. Using an eye tracking device, researchers found that the participants spent more time looking at attractive versus nonattractive faces ___ to advertisements. Although participants tried to stay focused, the ap- pearance of beautiful faces, as opposed to ordinary faces, ___ them and slowed down their ability to execute the task. First, when people are asked to rate unfamiliar faces on a 7- or 10-point scale, there is typically a high level of ___ among children and adults, men and women, and people from the same or different cultures. By analyzing the ratings of pictures that people post of themselves on a rate-and-date website called HOTorNOT.com, Leonard Lee and others (2008) found that members tend to evaluate specific others ___ regardless of how high or low their own ratings were on the site. In gen- eral, women with a ___ WHR (a waist-to-hip ratio where the waist circumfer- ence is 70% of the hip circumference) are rated as more attractive. In fact, when shown photographs of women before and after they had microfat grafting surgery (where fat tissue is taken from the waist and implanted on the but- tocks, which lowers the WHR), people rated the postoperative photographs as more ___—independent of any changes in body weight. In contrast, women like men with a waist-to-hip ratio that forms a tapering ___ physique, signaling more muscle than fat (Singh, 1995). Comparisons made in Europe indicate that mar- ried men are a full ___ taller, on average, than unmarried men (Pawlowski et al., 2000). Second, a number of researchers have identified physical features of the human face that are reliably associated with ratings of attractiveness, such as smooth skin, a pleasant expression, and ___ s. Consistently, they found that the students preferred the ___ com- posites to the individual faces and that the more faces used to form the composite, the more ___ it was rated. Langlois and others (1994) believe that people like averaged faces be- cause they are more prototypically face-like and have features that are less dis- tinctive, so they seem more ___ to us. Consistent with this notion, research shows that just as people are more attracted to averaged human faces than to in- dividual faces, they also prefer ___ dogs, birds, fish, wristwatches, and cars Although support is mixed, evolution- ary psychologists have speculated that our pursuit of symmetry is adaptive because symmetry is naturally associated with biological ___, fitness, and fertility, qualities that are highly desirable in a mate. The result: Young infants spend ___ time tracking and looking at attractive faces than at unattractive ones, regardless of whether the faces are young or old, male or female, or black-skinned or white When Johannes Hönekopp (2006) had large numbers of people rate the same faces, he found that although some faces were seen as more attractive than others, indi- viduals differed a great deal in their ___ preferences. . In dramatic ways, what people find attractive in one part of the world may be seen as ___ in another part of the world Judith Anderson and others (1992) found that heavy women are judged more attractive than slender women in places where food is frequently in ___ supply. The white stu- dents saw the heavy women as the least attractive, but black students did not similarly ___. Based on the fact that white Americans are, on average, thinner than black Americans, one possible explanation is that people in general prefer a body type that is more __ of their group. Another possibility is that white Americans identify more with the "___" weight-obsessed culture as portrayed in TV shows, maga- zine ads, and other media.

group attractiveness effect relative distracted agreement similarly 0.7 attractive V-shaped inch youthfulness averaged highly familiar averaged health more private repulsive short discriminate typical mainstream

it's common for adolescent males to engage in __ activities before being of age for marriage, even though homosexuality as a permanent trait is rare. It's important, then, to realize that sexual orientation cannot be viewed in black-or-white terms but should be seen along a ___. There were no ___ in past fam- ily backgrounds, absence of a male or female parent, relationship with parents, sexual abuse, age of onset of puberty, or high school dating patterns. Except for the fact that homosexual adults described themselves as less ___ as chil- dren, the two groups could not be distinguished by past experiences. The result: In the male homosexual brains he stud- ied, the nucleus was ___ the size as in male heterosexual brains and comparable in size to those found in female heterosexual brains. Overall, 52% of the identical twins were gay, compared to only 22% of fraternal twins and 11% of adoptive brothers. Two years later, Bailey and others (1993) conducted a companion study of lesbians with similar results. Overall, 92% of both men and women saw themselves as ___ heterosexual. Among the others, however, more women than men said that they had ___ tendencies and more men than women said they were ___ homosexual. Lisa Diamond (2003) found that more than a quarter of those who had initially identified themselves as lesbian or bisexual changed their ___ over the next five years—far more change than is ever reported among men. . Results showed that the women were genitally ___ by both male and female sex clips, regardless of whether they identified themselves as straight or lesbian in their orientation. Yet males exhib- ited more ___ in response to men or women, depending on their sexual orien- tation. In fact, although self-identified bisexual men reported an attraction to both sexes, most were genitally aroused by men or by women—but not ___ women are sexually more ___ than men, having more erotic plasticity. Rather, Daryl Bem (1996; 2000) sees the development of sexual orientation as a ___ process. According to Bem, ___ influ- ence a person's temperament at birth, leading some infants and young children to be naturally more active, energetic, and aggressive than others. These differences in temperament draw some children to male playmates and "masculine" activities and others to female playmates and "feminine" activities. Bem refers to children who prefer same-sex playmates as gender ___ and to those who prefer opposite-sex playmates as gender ___ According to Bem, gender-conforming chil- dren come to see members of the ___ sex as different, unfamiliar, arousing, and even exotic. Gender-nonconforming children, in contrast, come to see ___ peers as different, unfamiliar, arousing, and exotic. Later, at puberty, as chil- dren become physically and sexually mature, they find that they are attracted to members of the ___ sex—depending on which is the more exotic It is true that genetic makeup can influence temperament and ___ a child to favor certain kinds of activities over others (Kagan, 1994). It is also true that gay men are likely to have been more feminine and lesbians to have been more masculine as children— differences seen not only in people's self-reported accounts from childhood (Bailey & Zucker, 1995) but also in their ___, as memorialized in home videos (Rieger et al., 2008). It may even be true that people are genetically ___ to engage in gender-nonconforming behavior as children People, especially men, do not seem to ___ choose their sexual orientation, nor can they easily change it. Same-sex couples differ from straight couples in two ways: They are more likely to retain ___ with former sex partners after breaking up, and they tend to divide chores more ___ within a household Rosenfeld found that heterosexual couples overall had ___ lasting relation- ships and a ___ break-up rate (4.9%)—but that this difference vanished when only ___ couples were compared. The reason: The annual ___ rate was lower among same-sex couples who were married or had civil unions (2.6%) than among those who were not Newlyweds tend to idealize each other and to enjoy an initial state of marital bliss (Murray et al., 1996). However, this "___" is soon followed by a decline in satisfaction (Bradbury, 1998; Huston et al., 2001). After some stabilization, a second decline is observed at about the eighth year of marriage—a finding that is consistent with the popular belief in a "___

homosexual continuum differences conforming half exclusively bisexual exclusively orienta- tion aroused arousal both flexible psychobiological genes conformists nonconformists opposite same- sex same or opposite predispose behavior hardwired willfully friendships equally longer lower married breakup honeymoon seven-year itch"

As you might expect, investments ___ commitment. In studies of dating and married couples, research shows that the best-adjusted ones are those in which each partner is committed and sees the other as ___ committed (Drigotas et al., 1999). Particularly important for the durability of a relationship, people who are highly committed are more likely to ___ when their partners be- tray the relationship norm by flirting, lying, forgetting an anniversary, revealing a private and embarrassing story in public, or having an affair. A study of bat- tered women showed that the investment model can be used to predict whether battered women will ___ in an abusive relationship equity theory provides a special version of how social exchange operates in interpersonal interactions According to ___, the balance is what counts. In an inequitable relationship, the balance is disturbed: One partner (called the overbenefited) receives ___ benefits than he or she deserves on the basis of contributions made, while the other partner (aptly called the underbenefited) receives ___ benefits than deserved. . As you might expect, underbenefited partners feel ___ and resentful because they are giving more than their partner for the benefits they receive, whereas overben- efited partners feel ___ because they are profiting unfairly. Both kinds of ineq- uity are associated with ___ emotions in dating couples (Walster et al., 1978), married couples (Schafer & Keith, 1981; Guerrero et al., 2008), and friendships among elderly widows. . People prefer to receive too ___ in life rather than too little, even if they feel bad about it According to Sandra Murray and John Holmes (2008), people in relationships naturally and unconsciously maintain something of a "___" by which they keep a tally of costs and benefits in order to detect and then repair possible imbalances. By tracking and statistically correlating each partner's answers over time, the researchers observed three steps of the trust-insurance system in action: (1) On days after participants anxiously felt that they were not good enough for their partner, they were more likely to make ___—for example, by doing the dishes, making lunch, or picking up after the partner; (2) these restorative actions were accompanied by lowered feelings of ___ that same day; and (3) on the next day, the partners who benefited from these actions expressed fewer ___ about their marriage. Murray and her colleagues went on to propose an ___ According to Margaret Clark and others, people operate by a ___ model when they are in exchange relationships, which are characterized by an immediate tit-for-tat repayment of ben- efits. Clark maintains that in ___ relationships, partners respond to each other's needs and well- being over time and in different ways, without regard for whether they have given or received a benefit. Exchange relationships typically exist between __ and casual acquain- tances and in certain long-term arrangements such as business partnerships. In contrast, strong communal relationships are usually limited to close friends, ro- mantic partners, and ___ members (Clark & Mills, 1993). Based on fieldwork in West Africa, Alan Fiske (1992) is convinced that this distinction applies to human interactions all over the ___. ? Clark and Judson Mills (1993) believe that true communal re- lationships do exist—that once a communal norm has been adopted in a relation- ship, regardless of how it started, the motivation to respond to the other's needs becomes ___. adults also exhibit specific learned attachment styles in their romantic relationships. Those with ___ attachments cry in distress when the mother leaves and then beam with sheer delight when she returns. Those with insecure attachments show one of two patterns. Some babies, described as ___, cling and cry when the mother leaves but then greet her with ___ or apathy upon her return. Others are generally more __ and avoidant, not reacting much on either occasion John Bowlby (1988), a psychiatrist and influential theorist, has argued that there is a link—that infants form "___" of attachment figures and that these mod- els guide their relationships later in life. Research shows that infants classified as securely attached are later more ___ in their outlook toward others (Cassidy et al., 1996). Other research has shown that adult relationship patterns are ___ from parent-child relations in adolescence (

increase mutually forgive and forget remain equity theory more fewer angry guilty negative much trust-insurance system sacrifices inferiority doubts equilibrium model of relationship maintenance reward-based communal strangers family world automatic secure anxious anger detached internal working models positive predict- able

Those who exercised for 2 minutes as opposed to only 15 seconds saw the physically at- tractive woman as even more attractive and the unattractive woman as less attrac- tive. This study and others like it (Allen et al., 1989) showed that arousal—even without distress—__ emotional reactions, positive or negative. . Based on their review of 33 experiments, Craig Foster and others (1998) confirmed that the ___ does exist. They also found, however, that the effect occurs even when people know the actual source of their arousal—in other words, even without ___. Pamela Regan and Ellen Berscheid (1999) pres- ent compelling evidence for the proposition that intense sexual desire and excitement are a vital part of ___. In this regard, they note that "loving" is different from "being in love. As it turned out, only 2% of those in the "___" category also appeared in the sex list. Yet among those in the "___" category, the overlap with sex was 85%. And when Regan and her colleagues (1998) asked people to list the characteristics of roman- tic love, two-thirds cited ___—more than the number who put happi- ness, communication, loyalty, sharing, or commitment on the list. Comparisons of couples at different stages of their relationships and longitudinal studies that measure changes in the same couples over time have suggested that intense, sexual, passionate love does tend to diminish ___ over time They found that although the initial "___" aspect of passionate love clearly diminishes in long-term relationships ("I sometimes find it difficult to concentrate on work because thoughts of my partner occupy my mind"), there is a "___" as- pect that often endures ("I would rather be with my partner than anyone else") The scans revealed activity in regions of the brain specific to their partner—namely, in ___ reward areas and areas that are typically activated by maternal attachment. ___ rest on a foun- dation of mutual trust, caring, respect, friendship, and commitment—characteristics that John Harvey and Julie Omarzu (2000) see as necessary for "___ the close relationship." Companionate love is characterized by high levels of ___, a will- ingness to open up and share intimate facts and feelings. In a way, self-disclosure is to companionate love what arousal is to passionate love. Research shows that the more ___ involved people are in a close relationship, the more they self-disclose to each other. Nancy Collins and Lynn Miller (1994) note three possible reasons for this correlation: (1) We disclose to people we ___; (2) we like people who ___ to us; and (3) we like people to whom we have ___. Thus, among pairs of college students brought together in a laboratory for brief getting-acquainted conversations, the more they self- disclosed, the better they __ about each other afterward higher levels of self-disclosure also expressed more sat- isfaction, commitment, and love (Sprecher & Hendrick, 2004). When it comes to sex, too, partners who self- disclose their likes and dislikes to each other are more satisfied ___ than those who are less open. According to Irving Altman and Dalmas Taylor (1973), self-disclosure is a basic form of ___ that unfolds as relationships develop. Their ___ holds that relationships progress from superficial exchanges to more intimate ones. With re- gard to what is self-disclosed to three target audiences (online, best friend, and parents), bloggers expressed themselves to their ___ the most, followed by parents and online audiences, both in depth and in width. During a first encounter and in the budding stages of a new relationship, people tend to ___ another's self-disclosure with their own—at a comparable level of intimacy. Among couples in distress, two different self-disclosure patterns have been observed. For some, ___ both de- crease as partners withdraw and cease to communicate (Baxter, 1987). For others, the breadth of self-disclosure declines but depth increases as the partners express __ at each other on average, that women are ___ open than men—and that people in general are more self-disclosing to women than to men. This be- ing the case, it comes as no surprise that women rate their same-sex friendships more ___ than men rate theirs. At least in North America, male friends seem to bond more by taking part in common ___, whereas female friends engage more in a sharing of feelings

intensifies arousal-attraction effect misattribution passionate love love in love sexual desire somewhat obsessional romantic dopamine-rich Companionate relationships minding self-disclosure emotionally like disclose disclosed felt sexually social ex- change social penetration theory best friends reciprocate breadth and depth anger more highly activities

Eli Finkel and others (2012) note that online dating promises three ben- efits: (1) exposure and access to ___ numbers of profiles of potential romantic partners, (2) a means of ___ through e-mail, instant messaging, and live chat via webcams; and (3) a matching "___" that brings together users who are likely to be attracted to one another. In 1932, sociologist James Bossard examined 5,000 marriage licenses in Philadel- phia. He found that 17% of couples had lived within ___ city block of each other, that 31% lived within four blocks, and that 80% lived in the ___ city. It hardly sounds romantic, but the single best predictor of whether two people will get together is—or used to be—___ or near- ness. Yet some of our most impor- tant social interactions still occur among people who find them- selves living or working in the same place at the same time Many years ago, Leon Festinger and his colleagues (1950) studied friendship patterns in married-student college housing and found that people were more likely to become friends with residents of ___ apartments than with those who lived farther away. More recent research has also shown that college students—who live in off-campus apartments, dormitories, fraternities and sorority houses—tend to date those who live either __ (Hays, 1985) or in the same type of ___ as they do. those who happened to be seated nearby or even in the same row were more likely to rate each other as ___ one year later Robert Zajonc (1968) found that the more often people saw a ___—whether it was a foreign word, a geometric form, or a human face—the more they came to like it. This phenomenon, which Zajonc called the ___, has since been observed in more than 200 experiments. In a typical study, participants are shown pic- tures of several stimuli, each for 1 to 5 milliseconds, which is too quick to register in awareness much less enable you to realize that some stimuli are presented more often than others. The more frequently the stimulus is presented, the more people ___ it. . These results demonstrate that the mere exposure effect can influence us __ our awareness The more classes a woman attended, the more attracted the students were to her. when participants were asked to rate how much they liked their partner, ratings ___ the more interactions they had. When asked if they would like to learn each other's identities so they could stay in contact, the percentages who said yes also ___ with their number of interactions. Theodore Mita and others (1977) tried this inter- esting experiment with female college students and found that most preferred their own ___ images, while their friends liked the __ photos. In both cases, the preference was for the view of the face that was most ___. . Over the years, studies have shown that in the affairs of our social and economic world, physical beauty is a force to be reckoned with All teachers received identical information, yet those who saw an attrac- tive child saw that child as ___ and more likely to do well in school The more attractive the assistants were, the more __ they were able to get (Chaiken, 1979). In a third study, Texas judges set lower bail and imposed smaller fines on suspects who were rated as attractive rather than unattractive on the basis of ___ (Downs & Lyons, 1991). In a fourth study, members of elite sorority houses who glimpsed at pictures of prospective members were influenced by physical at- tractiveness in rating whether the young women would prove ___ (Krendl et al., 2011). Finally, economists in the United States, Canada, and England, have discovered from employment statistics that in many occupational groups physically attractive men and women earn ___ pay than peers who are comparable except for being less attractive (

large communicating algorithm one same physical proximity nearby nearby housing friends novel stimulus mere exposure effect like without increased increased actual mirror familiar smarter signatures photo- graphs acceptable more

It comes as no surprise, therefore, that when Valentine's Day cards were analyzed for content, female authors were more likely than men to express __. Ackerman and his colleagues (2011) stopped pedestrians on a street corner and asked them to indicate which partner in general says it first. The result was con- sistent with expectations: 64% chose ___. When asked who "gets serious" first, 84% chose ___. The result: 62% reported that the __ said it first. . Among those who did agree, however, 70% reported that the ___ said it first . __ to sexual activity, men reported feeling happier and more posi- tive about the expression of love than women did. ___ sexual activity, however, women reacted with somewhat more positive emotion. : "A presex confession may signal interest in advancing a relationship to include __ activity, whereas a postsex confession may instead more accurately signal a desire for ___ commitment" Accord- ing to the theory, a man should be most upset by __ infidelity because a wife's extramarital affair increases the risk that the children he supports are not his own. In contrast, a woman should feel threatened more by ___ infidelity because a husband who falls in love with another woman might leave and withdraw his financial support (Buss, 2000). Male or female, jealousy reactions are intensified among people who believe that there is a ___ of potential mates, as opposed to an abundance, in the population The results revealed a striking gender difference: 60% of the men said they would be more upset by a partner's sexual infidelity, but 83% of the women felt that emotional infidelity was worse. The men said they would use more "mate-retention" tactics (concealing or threatening the wife; taking action against the male rival) when their wives were ___; women said they would use more mate-retention tactics (being watchful; enhanc- ing their appearance) when married to men who strove for __ and made more money jealous men were more likely to report that their rival had greater status and/or resources; jealous women were more likely to report that their rival was younger and/or more attractive. " One common argument is that women trade youth and beauty for money not for reproductive purposes but rather because they often lack direct access to ___ power. He found that the more economic power women had, the more important male physical ___ was to them. First, in contrast to the explanation evolutionary theory provides, some researchers have found that men get more upset over sexual infidelity not be- cause of uncertain paternity but because they reasonably assume that a married woman who has a sexual affair is also likely to have ___ for her extramarital partner. Second, although men and women react differently when asked to imagine a partner's sexual or emotional infidelity, they are equally ___ upset by emotional infidelity when asked to recall actual experiences from a past relationship In Buss's original cross-cultural study, both men and women gave their highest ratings to such attributes as kindness, dependability, a good sense of humor, and a pleasant disposition (physical attractiveness and financial prospects did not top the lists). In fact, research shows that women desire physical attractiveness as much as ___ do when asked about what they want in a short-term casual sex partner. Yet the romantic attraction ratings of partners during and after speed dating revealed that the differences among male and female participants about what traits were important had ___. In ___, men and women en- acted the different roles cast by evolution; yet in ___, their attraction to each other was based on similar characteristics. David Geary (2000) points out that while hu- man fathers spend less time doing child care than mothers do, they are ___ among mammals—including baboons and chimpanzees, our evo- lutionary cousins—in the amount of care they give to their offspring. Geary speculates that human men care for their children in part because they enjoy more ___ than do other male primates. anthropologists Stephen Beckerman, Paul Valentine, and others note that the Bari and other aboriginal people in low- land South America believe that a baby can have multiple ___ and that all men who have sex with a pregnant woman make a biological ___ to her yet-to-be-born child (some groups believe that more than one father, or at least more than one insemination, are required to form a fetus).

love women women man man Prior After sexual long-term sexual emotional scarcity young and attractive status economic attractiveness intimate feelings more men disappeared theory practice unique paternal certainty fathers contribu- tion

. Men who thought they were interact- ing with a woman who was attractive (1) formed more positive impressions of her __ and (2) were friendlier in their ___ behavior. And now for the clincher: (3) the female students whose partners had seen the attractive pic- ture were later rated by listeners to the conversation as warmer, more confident, and more animated. Those who saw themselves as unattractive felt better about the ___ of their work after getting a glowing evaluation from some- one who had seen them. Yet those who saw themselves as attractive and thought they had been seen attributed the glowing feedback to their ___, not to the quality of their work. For people who are highly attractive, positive feedback is sometimes __ to interpret . In one study, many men and women openly admitted that if a prospective date was highly attractive, they would __ to present themselves well This ideal is projected in the mass media. Studies have shown that young women who see magazine ads or TV commercials that feature ultra-thin models become more ___ with their own bodies than those who view neutral materials. There was __ relationship between their appearance in youth and their later happi- ness. Those who were especially good-looking in college were more likely to be married, but they were not more ___ with marriage or more content with life Over the years, research has consistently shown that people tend to associate with others who are __ to themselves. it's the mere perception of similarity that draws people together. —people who go together as friends, dates, lovers, or partners in marriage tend to ____ each other more than randomly paired couple. In an elaborate study, Newcomb (1961) set up an experimental college dormi- tory and found that students who had similar backgrounds grew to like each other ___ than those who were dis- similar did. Donn Byrne (1971) had people give their opinions on a whole range of issues and then presented them with an attitude survey that had supposedly been filled out by another person (the responses were rigged). In study after study, he found that participants liked this other person better when they perceived his or her attitudes as being more __ to theirs. In a comprehensive study, Shanhong Luo and Eva Klohnen (2005) tested 291 newlywed couples and found that people tended to marry others who ___ their political attitudes, religiosity, and values but who did not necessarily start out hav- ing similar personalities. Yet once in the relationship, similarities in personality be- came relevant: The more similar they were, the ___ was the marriage. . Luo and Klohnen compared couples who had been together for varying lengths of time before marriage and found that similarity was ___ to the length of the relationship. Yet another study of dating couples showed that when partners who are close dis- cover that they disagree on important moral issues, they bring their views on these issues into ___ and become more similar from that point on Milton Rosenbaum Rather, dissimi- larity triggers ___: the desire to avoid someone. Lykken and Tellegen (1993) argued that in mate selection, all forms of interper- sonal similarity are irrelevant. First, they said, we avoid associating with others who are dissimilar; then, among those who remain, we are drawn to those who are most ___. Fang Chen and Douglas Kenrick (2002) found that research participants were particularly ___ to outgroup members who expressed similar attitudes, and they were most ___ by ingroup members who expressed dissimilar attitudes.

personality conversational quality looks hard lie dissatisfied little satisfied similar resemble more similar shared happier unre- lated alignment repulsion similar attracted repulsed

Thus, when incom- ing first-year students at the University of Minnesota were randomly coupled for a dance, their desire for a second date was influenced more by their partner's___ than by any other variable (Walster et al., 1966). In real-life situ- ations, however, where one can be accepted or rejected by a prospective partner, people tend to shy away from making romantic overtures with others who seem "out of __" "___" the idea that people tend to become involved romantically with others who are equivalent in their physical attractiveness. Men and women tended to contact and be contacted by others whose relative popularity on the site was ___ to their own (Taylor et al., 2011). A fourth type of similarity can trigger attraction among strangers: a similar- ity in ___ Elizabeth Pinel and others (Pinel et al., 2006; Pinel & Long 2012) called this experience "___" and theorized that people who I-share, even if they are otherwise dissimilar, feel a profound sense of connection to one another—like "___." Consistently, the participants liked the I-sharers more than everyone else, even when they had different ___. Many years ago, sociologists proposed the complementarity hypothesis, which holds that people seek others whose needs "___" their own—that people who need to dominate, for example, are naturally drawn to those who are submissive But when it comes to fitting mutual needs and personality traits the way keys fit locks, research shows that complementarity does not make for ___. In an interview with the Washington Post, Gian Gonzaga—a researcher for eHarmony, the online dating service that matches peo- ple according to similarities—debunked the complementarity hypothesis, noting that while opposites may seem exotic at first glance, over time the differences become ___ to negotiate Many years ago, Fritz Heider (1958) theorized that people prefer relationships that are psychologically "___" and that a state of imbalance causes distress. In groups of three or more individuals, a balanced social constellation exists when we like someone whose ___ with others parallel our own. Between two people, a state of balance exists when a relationship is character- ized by ___: a mutual exchange between what we give and what we receive. When the students were later reunited for conversation, those who thought that they were ___ were, in turn, warmer, more agreeable, and more self-disclosing. Feeling liked is important. When groups of men and women were asked to reflect on how they fell in love or developed friendships with specific people, many spontaneously said they had been turned on initially by the realization that they were __ ( In this study, participants liked the partner more when her eval- uation changed from negative to positive than when it was ___ all along. As long as the "conversion" is ___ and believable, people like others more when their affection takes time to earn than when it comes easily. Within a heterosexual speed-dating situation, Paul Eastwick and others (2007) confirmed the conversion point: People are drawn to members of the opposite sex who like them—but only when these others are ___ in their liking and, hence, discriminating. researchers found that the ___ is harder to get than originally anticipated (Walster et al., 1973). One problem is that we are __ by those who reject us because they are committed to someone else or have no interest in us (Wright & Contrada, 1986). Another problem is that we tend to prefer people who are ___ selective compared with those who are non- selective (they have poor taste or low standards) or ___ selective (they are snobs). Analyses of the ratings showed that par- ticipants liked dates who selectively desired them ___ than others, but they did not like ___ dates who had indicated a desire for several of the men they encountered ( participants with __ scores on the Fear of Being Single Scale also expressed an interest in profiles that were not attractive or responsive. a follow-up study of men and women registered for a speed-dating event showed that those with a high fear of being single stated a desire to date more of the participants they had only ___ met. When a valued ___ is threatened (not getting the object of one's affection), people reassert themselves, often by wanting that which is unavailable too much—like the proverbial forbidden fruit

physi- cal attractiveness reach matching hypothesis similar subjective experience. I-sharing kindred spirits backgrounds oppose compatible attraction difficult balanced relationships reciprocity liked liked positive gradual selective hard-to-get effect turned off moderately too more nondiscriminating high briefly freedom

Several years ago, researchers asked 300 students to weigh the importance of having a satisfying romantic relationship against the importance of other life goals (such as getting a good education, having a successful career, or contributing to a bet- ter society) and found that 73% said they would ___ most other goals before giving up a good relationship. intimate relationships often involve three basic components: (1) feelings of ___, and love; (2) fulfillment of ___; and (3) ___ between partners, each of whom has a meaningful influence on the other Bernard Murstein's (1986) ___ says there are three: (1) the ___ stage, in which attraction is sparked by external attributes such as physical appearance; (2) the ___ stage, where attachment is based on similarity of values and beliefs; and (3) the ___ stage, where commitment is based on the enactment of such roles as husband and wife. All three factors are important throughout a relationship, but each one is said to be first and foremost during only __ stage. One common answer is rewards. Love, like attraction, depends on the experience of positive emotions in the presence of a partner. Step by step, as the rewards pile up, love ___. Or, as rewards diminish, love erodes. ___ is an economic model of hu- man behavior according to which people are motivated by a desire to maximize profit and minimize loss in their social relationships just as they are in business Research has shown that dating cou- ples who experience ___ increases in rewards as their relationship pro- gresses are more likely to stay together than are those who experience __ increases or declines (Berg & McQuinn, 1986). People do not worry about costs during the __ phase of a relationship (Hays, 1985). After a few months, however, both rewards and costs start to contribute to levels of ___, both in married couples (Margolin & Wampold, 1981) and in gay and lesbian couples who are living together John Thibaut and Harold Kelley (1959) coined the term comparison level (CL) to refer to this average expected outcome in relationships. A person with a ___ CL expects his or her relationships to be rewarding; someone with a __ CL does not. According to Thibaut and Kelley, a second kind of expectation is also impor- tant. They coined the term comparison level for alternatives (CLalt) to refer to people's expectations about what they would receive in an ___ situation. Research shows that people who are in love tend to see their partners and relationships through ____ (Collins & Feeney 2000; Sanderson & Evans, 2001; Solomon & Vazire, 2014). People in love also tend to see other prospective partners as less ___ (Johnson & Rusbult, 1989; Simpson et al., 1990)—a motivated perception that en- ables those in a committed relationship to resist temptation (Lydon, 2010). This positive perspective on one's own partner relative to others is generally conducive to a ___ relationship (Murray et al., 1996; Murray & Holmes, 1999) A third element in the social exchange is ___. An investment is some- thing a person puts into a relationship that he or she cannot recover if the relation- ship ends.(

sacrifice at- tachment, affection psychological needs interde- pendence stimulus- value-role (SVR) theory stimulus value role one develops Social exchange theory greater small honeymoon satisfaction high low alternative rose- colored glasses appealing happy and stable investment

. In addition, the researchers found that people who have a se- cure attachment style report having ___ relationships that are happy, friendly, based on mutual trust, and enduring. Cognitively, they see people as good-hearted, and they believe in ___. In contrast, ___ lovers fear intimacy and believe that romantic love is doomed to fade; and ___ lovers report a love life full of emotional highs and lows, obsessive preoccupation, a greater willingness than others to make long-term commitments, and extreme sexual attraction and jealousy. They found that men classified from a questionnaire as having an insecure-avoidant attachment style were the __ warm and supportive and that women with an insecure-anxious style were the __ upset and negative in their behavior. . The results showed that boyfriends and girlfriends who were insecurely attached exhibited more physiological ___ in response to the conflict task than did those who were securely attached. . People who are secure do tend to have more ___ relationships. But the prognosis for those classified as insecure is harder to predict, with the results less __. Specifically, for both men and women and across genders and cultures, attach- ment anxiety was ___ among young adults and __ thereafter; attach- ment avoidance was ___ among young adults but then ___ in middle age that over 54% of American singles believe in love at __ sight; that 58% of men and 50% of women said that they have had a "friend with ben- efits" (___) relationship; that 28% have had a FWB friend turn into a ___ partnership; that 89% believe you can stay married to the same person ___; 36% said they wanted a ___ agreement; and 33% believe it's OK to leave a "___ marriage" if you are no longer passionately in love. From ancient writings, sociolo- gist John Alan Lee (1988) identified three primary love styles: ___ (erotic love), ___ (game-playing, uncommitted love), and ___ (friendship love). As with primary colors, Lee theorized, these three styles can be blended together to form new secondary types of love, such as __ (demanding and possessive love), ___ (pragmatic love), and ___ (other-oriented, altruistic love). On a scale designed to measure these "colors of love," men tend to score ___ than women on ludus, and women score ___ on storge, mania, and pragma Another popular taxonomy is derived from Robert Sternberg's (1986)___ ___. The emotional component, which involves liking and feelings of close- ness. ("I have a comfortable relationship with ___.") ___: The motivational component, which contains drives that trigger attrac- tion, romance, and sexual desire. ("Just seeing ___ is exciting for me.") ___: The cognitive component, which reflects the decision to make a long-term commitment to a loved partner. ("I will always feel a strong responsi- bility for ___.") For example, "ideal lover" scored high on all ___ components, "friend" scored high on ___ but low on passion, and "sib- ling" scored high on ___ but low on intimacy and passion. It's hard to tell. But there are two basic types that are built into all models: ___, the type of feel- ing you would have for a platonic friend, and ___, the kind of feeling you would have for a romantic partner. Although casual daters reported more liking than loving, liking and loving did not differ for those in the more committed dating relationships. According to Hatfield, ___ is an emotionally intense and often erotic state of absorption in another person, whereas ___ is a slow-building, secure, trusting, and stable partnership, similar to what Rubin called liking. they theorized that passionate love is fueled by two ingredients: (1) a heightened state of ___arousal and (2) the belief that this arousal was triggered by the ___ person. As predicted, men who crossed the scary bridge were later __ likely to call her than those who crossed the stable bridge. Cindy Meston and Penny Frohlich (2003) similarly found that men and women who were not with a romantic partner rated a photographed per- son of the opposite sex as more ___ right after they rode on a roller-coaster than they did before they began the ride.

satisfying romantic love avoidant anxious least most stress lasting consistent highest declined lowest peaked first FWB long-term forever prenuptial satisfactory eros ludus storge mania pragma agape higher higher triangular theory of love. Intimacy Passion Commitment three intimacy and commitment commitment liking loving passionate love companionate love physiologi- cal beloved more attractive

Many years ago, Stanley Schachter (1959) theorized that an external threat triggers fear and motivates us to affiliate, particularly with others who face a ___ threat. Schachter found that people who were expecting to re- ceive painful electric shocks chose to wait with other nervous participants rather than ___. So far, so good. But when Irving Sarnoff and Philip Zimbardo (1961) led college students to expect that they would be engaging in an embarrass- ing behavior—sucking on large bottle nipples and pacifiers—their desire to be with others ___ off. Rofé argued that stress sparks the desire to affiliate only when being with others is seen as ___ in reducing the negative impact of the stressful situation. ? Research suggests that people facing an imminent threat seek each other out in order to gain cognitive ___ about the danger they are in. In one experiment, Kulik and others (1994) found that research participants anticipating the painful task of soaking a hand in ice-cold water preferred to wait with someone who had already ___ the task rather than with someone who had not. John Cacioppo and others (2015) have noted that being alone—and feeling lonely— motivates people of all ages to connect with others in order to satisfy a "____." Charleen Case and others (2015) theorized that individuals who lack ___ also feel a need to seek out other people. In one study, they found that participants who were primed to imagine lacking ___ displayed more interest in joining a campus service aimed at fostering new friendships. In a second study, people assigned to a position of low power sought more ___ proximity to a partner. For people whose shyness is extreme, the result is a pattern of ___ that can set them up for unpleasant and unrewarding interactions Jerome Kagan (1994) and others have found that some infants are highly sensitive to stimulation, inhibited, and cautious shortly after birth. In other words, interpersonal problems of the past can ignite ___ about the future ( . Toddlers observed to be inhibited, shy, and fearful at age 3, for example, are more likely than toddlers who were more outgoing to be socially ___ at age 21 (Caspi, 2000). The differences can be seen in the adult brain Using fMRI, researchers have recently observed that people who are shy, compared to those who are bold, exhibit greater activity in the ___—a region of the brain responsible for fear processing—when exposed to pictures of strangers , many shy people go into ___ isolation, which often makes them feel lonely. What's worse, research shows that people who fear rejection think that their friendly or romantic interest is transparent to others, which leads them to ___ To be lonely is to feel deprived of human social connections, which occurs whenever we have less ___ with others than we want . ____ is felt when someone wants but does not have a spouse, significant other, or best friends to rely on for emotional support, especially during personal crises. Somewhat outside our cir- cle of personal space, ____ is felt when someone wants but lacks friendships from school and work and family connections, the 15 or 50 people whom we see regularly and rely on for occa- sional help, child care, resources, contacts, and advice.

similar alone fell useful clarity completed reaffili- ation motive power and influence power physical risk avoid- ance social anxieties isolated amygdala self-imposed back off contact Intimate loneliness relational loneliness

Over time, models became thinner and had lower bust-to-waist ratios—away from the ample "hourglass" to a more slender, athletic, ___ shape. . Research shows, for example, that people often see others as more physically attractive if they have ___ qualities that make them likable (Kniffin & Wilson, 2004)—especially when they are ro- mantically involved of actual ratings on this site revealed that both male and female professors who were rated highly for their teaching were also more likely to be described as "___" (Riniolo et al., 2006). Of particular interest in this regard is that the more in love people are with their partners, the ___ attractive they find others of the opposite sex Everyone saw the same photos, yet the attractiveness ratings were highest among the men in the __ back- ground condition (see d Figure 9.5). In other studies, men con- tinued to rate women as more attractive—and as more sexually desirable (but not generally more likable)—in the presence of __ compared to women who were surrounded by gray, blue, or green. Women in red are perceived to be sexually __ Naturalistic research has shown that women on dating websites who say they are looking for ___ sex are more likely to wear red in their profile pictures than women seeking other types of relationships (Elliot & Pazda, 2012). Even in the mundane psychology laboratory, female participants were more likely to choose to wear a red shirt, as opposed to a comparable blue or green shirt, when they expected to meet an ___ man relative to an unattractive man or a woman. This same receptivity, however, is what led female participants in recent studies to malign women clad in red versus other colors by rating her as more ___ and more likely to cheat on a relationship we derive pleasure from beautiful men and women the ___ way that we enjoy a breathtaking landscape or a magnificent work of art. In an fMRI study of men, for example, researchers found that areas of the brain known to respond to ___ such as food, money, and drugs such as cocaine are also activated by facial beauty When average-looking men and women are seen alongside someone else of the same sex, they are rated as ___ attractive when the other person is good-looking and as ___ attractive when he or she is plain-looking. A second reason for the bias toward beauty is that people tend to asso- ciate physical attractiveness with other desirable qualities, an assumption known as the ___ They found that the more attractive the char- acters were, the more frequently they were portrayed as virtuous, romantically active, and ___. . Doris Bazzini and others (2010) asked people to rate human char- acters in 21 Disney films and found a significant link between perceptions of attractiveness and ___. In an experiment using fMRI, Takashi Tsukiura and Roberto Capeza (2011) scanned the brains of participants while they evaluated faces for physical attractiveness and actions for goodness. Both types of judgments ___ activity in one region of the brain and __ activity in another Research shows that good-looking people do have more friends, better social skills, and a more active sex life—and they are more ___ at attracting a mate (Rhodes et al., 2005). But beauty is not related to objective measures of __ traits such as intelligence, personality, adjustment, or self-esteem. When Ladd Wheeler and Youngmee Kim (1997) asked people in Korea to rate photos of various men and women, they found that people seen as physically attractive were also as- sumed to have "___" and "a concern for others"—traits that are highly valued in this collectivist culture. In contrast to what is considered desirable in more individualistic cultures, attractive people in Korea were not assumed to be __ or assertive.

sticklike nonphysical hot less red red receptive casual attractive promiscuous same rewards more less what-is-beautiful-is-good stereotype successful goodness increased decreased successful important integrity dominant

They are uniquely responsive to human faces, they turn their head toward ___, and they are able to mimic certain facial gestures on ___. Then, a few weeks later the baby flashes a first ___, surely the warmest sign of all. According to Roy Baumeister and Mark Leary (1995), the need to belong is a basic human motive, "a pervasive ___ to form and maintain at least a minimum quantity of lasting, positive, and significant interpersonal relationships" In fact, some people are so worried about how they appear to others that they suffer from various symptoms of ___ disorder characterized by intense feelings of discomfort in situations that invite public scrutiny (Leary & Kowalski, 1995). One very familiar example is ___ anxiety, or "stage fright"—a performer's worst nightmare. In extreme cases, the reaction can become so debilitating that the person just stays at __. People who have a network of close social ties—in the form of lovers, friends, family members, and co-workers—have higher self-esteem and greater satisfaction with life compared to those who live more ___ lives. People who are socially connected rather than isolated are also physically ___ and less likely to die a pre- mature ___ (Cacioppo et al., 2015; Holt-Lunstad et al., 2015; House et al., 1988). Recent research shows that people can even draw the moti- vation to achieve success from their ___ with others. In the United States, more than __% of high school and college students have posted a profile on a social me- dia site complete with a list of net- work "friends." Importantly, it seems that the larger your online social network is, the more people there are to view your status updates and the more socially ___ you are likely to feel. This social motivation begins with the need for ___, defined as a desire to establish social contact with others In an interesting experiment, Bibb Latané and Carol Werner (1978) found that even laboratory rats were more likely to approach others of their species after a period of ___ and were less likely to approach others after ___ contact. These researchers suggested that rats, like many other animals, have a built-in "___" (social thermostat) to regulate their affiliative tendencies. The results showed that students were in the state they desired ____ of the time. In fact, the situation they desired on one occasion (saying they wanted to be alone at 4 p.m.) ___ their actual situation the next time they were signaled (they would be alone at 5 p.m.). One condition that strongly arouses our need for affiliation is ___.

voices cue smile drive social anxiety pub- lic-speaking home isolated healthier death connections 90 connected affiliation isolation prolonged sociostat two-thirds predicted stress