review sheet for exam 4

consummate love

includes passion, intimacy and commitment

1. what are the components of close relationships 2. why are close relationships important?

1) a. knowledge b. caring c. interdependence (his behaviors influence your behaviors) d. mutuality e. trust f. commitment (relationships that include all six of these components are the most satisfying) 2. benefits of close relationships: a. facilitate day-to-day activities -allow us to pool resources and share labor b. provide advice and consolation c. emotional benefits - including love - are important too.

1. What are the things we discussed that increase physical attractiveness in a non obvious way? 2. what is the halo effect? 3. how does the halo effect differ by culture?

1) a. symmetry -small preference for symmetrical faces -maybe an indicator of reproductive success. 2) a. averaged faces -preference for computer composite faces -the more faces, the more attractive the face 3) the halo effect: we attribute positive characteristics to attractive people: social, intelligent, friendly, successful, honest, etc. -related to SFPs 4) culture sets standards of beauty - relates to fashion, weight, skin tone, etc. traits in the US, Canada, & Korea: a. sociable b. likable c. popular d. friendly e. well-adjusted f. mature g. happy h. intelligent traits only in US & Canada: a. strong b. dominant c. assertive traits only in Korea: a. sensitive b. generous c. warm d. trustworthy e. honest f. empathetic

1. How can reciprocity and scarcity play into first encounters? NOTE: be able to describe the liking study and the closing time study

1) reciprocity: we like people who like us a. this is why your happy when someone likes you, even if you didn't initially like them b. reciprocal liking can be a self-fulfilling prophecy NOTE: "liking" study (Curtis & Miller, 1986) 1. college students randomly paired; one partner given information beforehand IV: liked or disliked DV: liking by both partners results: When one partner was told that the other person liked them, partner 2 liked them back. when one partner was told that they other person disliked them, the other partner disliked them as well. 2) scarcity: utilizing the compliance technique of scarcity (making yourself seem scarce) -playing hard-to-get -only works if the person has generally positive feelings towards you "Closing time" studies (Gladue & Delaney, 1990) 1. approached people in bars 2. people asked to judge attractiveness of same-sex and opposite-sex targets (both photos and other patrons) IV: time until closing time Results: attractiveness ratings of opposite sex targets increased as the evening progresses 3. holds even when statistically controlling for alcohol intake.

1. what are the three factors in Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love? 2. How might each of these change over time?

1) Love consists of three factors: passion, commitment, and intimacy. passion: strong and intense feelings, longing to be with the person, infatuation, physiological arousal that accompanies passion. intimacy: emotional closeness, bonding, sharing. commitment: decision to love and maintain a long term relationship with someone. 2. importance of factors may change over time, or differ from relationship to relationship. passion: passion decreases overtime. in the beginning, there is the most passion, then there is a decrease as time goes on. intimacy: increases over time, starts very small in the beginning of the relationship, then it increases as you become closer. Might soon level off. commitment: increases over time, starts very small, then increases over time as you begin to invest in that one person.

How can you make a relationship last?

1) be prepared for squabbles (conflict will occur) 2) don't be negative (avoid contempt) 3) be fair in how you evaluate behaviors 4) do things that please your partner (express gratitude for the things your partner does for you) 5) have fun! 6) let daily hassles roll of your back

What are three suggestions you would make based on Darley & Latane's model to increase the likelihood of someone getting help that they need?

1) learning about the bystander effect 2) more likely to help if someone else does. 3) reduce ambiguity; specific requests

factors related to decline (related to marital satisfaction)

1) partners start with unrealistic expectations 2) partners slack off 3) small issues become magnified 4) sore spots are revealed 5) unwelcome surprises appear (e.g. fatal attractions, new discoveries, often appearing with the addition of children) 6) decrease in passionate love

how do relationships change over time in relation to self-disclosure, rose-colored lenses, interdependency and martial satisfaction?

1) self-disclosure: role (major life attitudes and plans), value (share your attitudes, your beliefs, and your values with the other person), and stimulus information (small talk, getting to know you) 2) rose-colored lenses: a. people want and hope to have a perfect romantic partner. b. Reality (and human nature) does not make this possible. c. to reduce dissonant feelings that may occur, an ideal perception of a romantic partner may occur (positive illusions) d. such positive perceptions can strength commitment and motivate positive growth toward the ideal 3) adjusting to interdependency: loss of independence, you do most things with your partner, some people don't like being less independent, so sometimes the relationships end. Over time, you learn and adjust to your partners needs. 4) martial satisfaction: research suggests that relationship satisfaction declines over time -break up

1) what are the four steps of the social exchange theory of satisfaction and commitment? 2) what variables might make us more or less likely to stay committed to our relationships? 3) How are the four steps affected by social media and modern dating

1) this theory focuses on satisfaction and commitment, because they predict relationship stability; focuses on costs and benefits; also known as interdependence theory Step 1) calculate the costs and benefits (trying to predict ultimate relationship stability) Step 2) compare differences in costs and benefits to a relevant comparison level (this might be our expectations, prior relationships, or other relationships we've seen) Benefits - costs - comparison level = overall level of satisfaction Step 3) consider viable alternatives (more alternatives = decreased commitment) Step 4) consider investment (e.g. time, money, kids, emotional resources, stress, etc) (more investment = increased commitment) 2) more stress, more financial stress, more alternatives, might lead to less commitment. 3) social media and modern data gives us more alternatives, which sometimes overwhelms us. more alternatives leads to more indecision and paralysis in making a choice on a romantic partner. As a result, you don't invest in one person. instead, you try to date as many as people as you can to ensure you have the best person.

What is the propinquity/proximity effect? NOTE: describe a study that demonstrated the effect

1) we tend to become attracted to people with whom we see and and interact with regularly. NOTE: Festinger et al. (1950) 1) 270 MIT students randomly assigned to apartments in 17-building complex 2) asked to name three closest friends within the complex RESULTS: 65% of friends mentioned they were from the same building 1. out of the students living on the same floor: -41% were next-door neighbors -22% lived two doors down -10% lived three doors down -those on the first floor living near the stairs had more upstairs friends.

1. what are prosocial behavior and altruism? 2. what is the critical difference between the two?

1. a. A prosocial behavior is an act performed with the goal of benefiting another person b. Altruism is an act that benefits another person but does not benefit the helper in any way. 2. Altruism is an act that only benefits the other person. It does not benefit the helper in any way. An act of altruism may even pose a risk to the helper. In contrast, a prosocial behavior benefits another person and is often motivated by the desire for money, fame, or self-expression, by committing that act. It can also be motivated to produce things of value to others.

1. What is social exchange theory? 2. What are some of the benefits that these theorists argue people get from helping?

1. a theory that assumes that people will be motivated to help only when the benefits outweigh the costs. This goes against true altruism. 2. a. increased chance of being helped in the future. b. increased social approval c. increased self-esteem or mood. d. relief from distress

What are other factors both psychological and situational that influence helping?

1. altruistic personality 2. helping role models 3. mood (positive and negative) 4. rural vs. urban settings for helping 5. similarity 6. casual attributions - if we believe a person is responsible for their misfortune (dispositional attribution), we are less likely to help

1. What is the empathy-altruism hypothesis? 2. What does the research literature show about decisions about helping when empathy is high and low? NOTE: be able to describe the Batson et al. (1981) study.

1. pure altruism only exists when we feel empathy (a state of taking on others' feelings) 2. when empathy is high, altruism motivates helping. when empathy is low, cost/benefit analyses motivate helping. NOTE: IV 1: similarity -half of the participants were told they were similar to the victim. the other half were told they aren't similar to the victim. IV 2: ease of escape -half are told they can leave -half aren't told they can leave. DV: % who switch places with victim RESULTS: a. those with low empathy and high difficulty to escape = high percentage to help. b. those with low empathy and high ease to escape were less likely to help. c. those with high empathy and high difficulty to escape were less likely to help than those with high empathy and high easy to escape. However, the difference is not as big as the group with low empathy.

1. what is the mere exposure effect? 2. what conditions are required for increased liking? NOTE: describe the studies that demonstrated the effect

1. repeated exposure to some stimulus leads to increased liking 2. only works if you initially positive or neutral. Works best the less you are aware of exposure. NOTE: "Chinese letters" study (Zajonc, 1968) 1. Participants rated characters they had seen before as better than those they had not. NOTE: Moreland & Beach (1992) 1. had female confederates go into class 2. IV: number of times she went to class (0, 5, 10, 15) DV: Ps rated the confederate's attractiveness in an unrelated task RESULTS: those who were exposed to the female confederate 0 times rated the lowest. next was those who saw her five times. then, it was ten times. She was rated the highest when exposed to the students 15 times.

1. why do we like people who are similar to us? 2. how does this preference for similarity manifest in terms of physical appearance?

1. we think they will like us, social validation, and cognitive consistency 2. the matching hypothesis: people also tend to date others of similar attractiveness

1. What are the five stages of Darley & Latane's model of helping behavior? NOTE: be prepared to give an experiment to illustrate each of the first three stages of the model.

Stage 1: to help, you have to notice that something has happened. experiment: Darley & Batson (1973) - 1. seminary students giving a lecture on: -the Good Samaritan or jobs seminary students enjoy 2. students had the expectation they were -late, on time, early 3. they pass a man in distress moaning in a doorway results: results: no effect of parable type; those who didn't help typically said why were in such a hurry that they didn't even notice the man. those who were early, helped the most. Stage 2: people must interpret an event as an emergency in which helping is needed : pluralistic ignorance - assuming others' public behavior reflects their feelings, while knowing ours does not. Darley & Latané (1970) 1. Ps sat in a room either with two other Ps (confederates) or alone. 2. smoke starts pouring into the room through a vent 3. the confederates (when present) are trained not to respond results: those alone left the room at higher percentages than those in a group. Stage 3: If a situation calls for help, you decide whether or not you are responsible for providing it. bystander effect - the more people present, the less likely any are to provide help. (diffusion of responsibility) Darley & Latané (1968) 1. Brought participants in to be part of a group conversation over intercoms 2. Told that: -there were 1, 2, or 5 other people -the intercoms functioned like walkie talkies. only one person can talk at a time 3. at the beginning of the conversation, one participants mentions that he is prone to seizures 4. participants talk for a few minutes 5. then, they hear: "...I could really er use some help..." results: those with 2 people helped the most (one being the confederate), those with three people helped the second most, while those with 6 people were less likely to help. additionally: the average time of response was longer for the group of six people, and the shortest with the couple of two people. Stage 4: if you assume responsibility, you will only provide help if: 1. you know what to do 2. you can actually do the helping behavior. Stage 5: given that you know what to do, you still need to decide if you will help 1. important factors include: cost/benefit ratios, empathy, social norms, reciprocity, similarity, and attractiveness

companionate love

an experience involving affection, trust, and concern for a partner's well-being, but no passionate love.

patterns of negative affect (Gottman, 1995)

criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling; not going to make it as a couple

predicted vulnerable times in marriage

first seven years of marriage and midlife (around 14 to 16 years)

romantic love

intimacy and passion, no commitment

How might kin selection and reciprocity be related to helping behavior?

kin selection: the idea that natural selection led to greater tendencies to help close kin than to help those with whom we have little genetic relationship. For example, we would be more likely to help our relatives or our close family members, then we would be to help strangers or friends. reciprocal altruism: the idea that help is driven with the expectation that the helper will be helped in the future. Often, we feel the need to reciprocate and return favors, almost like it's human instinct to help others. This supports the theory that there might be an evolved tendency to be prosocial.

meanings

only passion: infatuation, no real relationship yet. liking: no passion for our friends, but we like them as a friend, no commitment, emotionally close to them, but not passionately in love. empty love: there is commitment, but no passion or intimacy.

fatuous love

passion and commitment but no intimacy (rare)

Are people more likely to get help in rural or urban settings? Why?

people in rural settings are more helpful. -urban overload - people become overwhelmed with stimulation from the environment in urban settings, that they are desensitized to situations that require others to help.