The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora by Pablo Cartaya
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"To the businesses of this community," she said. "Thank you for making Canal Grove what it is." 117
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"We are a family-run business, and the neighborhood loves us. Being extra-attentive will remind people of how special our place it." 110
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"We are considered favorites because we are the true face of this community. Our neighbors know us and trust us." 46
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"We can make flyers and pamphlets," she repeated. "And hand them out to everyone at the festival." 121
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"We must make the people of Canal Grove understand what's going on. But for now let's get ready for the dinner shift." 122
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"We're fighting for what we believe in. We're trying to make a difference, just like Jose' Marti." 141
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
Benny and Brad, my younger cousins, zipped around tables, pretending to be superheroes until they were scolded by my uncle for knocking over a chair. 4
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
Bicycle Bill...well, nobody really knew where Bicycle Bill came from, but he had lived in the neighborhood for as long as anybody could remember! 149
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
Find the letter in the box marked: El amor y la fe. Love and faith? 88
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
For a second I considered bolting into the kitchen to try to figure out why I was losing it in front of my mom's goddaughter. 8
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"I'm sorry. He, just doesn't like anyone touching his mask. Isn't that right, Juancito?" 66
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"I'm very proud of you," she said as she poured some freshly made mint juice into her glass. 228
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"'Men of action, above all those whose actions are guided by love, live forever.'" 142
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"A very important vote is happening in a few weeks-one that will change the face of Canal Grove and provide a new and exciting opportunity for the wonderful citizens of this community." 67-68
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"After the recess, the public will have the opportunity to speak for or against any project." 215
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"And you have intruded and handed out propaganda when I explicitly told you now to. Now, get this boy out of my sight!" 152
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"By the way, have you seen my book of poetry?" she asked. "I've been looking for it everywhere, and I could really use some versos sencillos right now." 179
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"Can I get one of those?" I asked, because there's nothing better than sweet Cuban coffee with warm condensed milk in the morning. It's like regular coffee's fun-loving cousin. 187
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"Claudio is my assistant extraordinaire," he said. "He is posting pictures of all our events. Here, let's take a selfie!" 118
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"Do you remember when we tried to be an eight-foot giant, and we put on my mom's winter coat and you sat on my shoulders while we tried to walk around?" 15
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"Do you think the commissioner isn't jumping for joy, knowing by the time elections come around, he will have presided over the biggest economic growth this town has ever seen? 150
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"Do you think these people care about your family, little boy? They don't. They care about themselves." 150
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"Everybody, do your jobs with a little extra attention. We don't want anything to go wrong. The city council will vote on both bids in two and a half weeks." 109
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"Family is a competition where the strongest gets the inheritance. That is how success is taught."151
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"Family is a flawed system. Family will not save you or provide for you or keep you safe. The only thing that keeps you safe is money." 150
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"Food and writing are how our moms met," I said, trying to change the subject. 73
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"Hey," she said with a sad kind of smile. Her shiny braces made little red and blue sparkles on her teeth. "It gets better, you know? Losing someone." 183
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"I am officially social-media savvy." He took the phone and admired his post. "There aren't any responses yet." 230
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"I can't believe there's another bid for the lot next door! Did you tell Mami?" 41
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"I cleaned pots and dishes all day and ended up covered in soap bubbles. And I almost got eaten by the gigantic dishwasher" 33
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"I feel kind of lonely back home." 15
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"I just opened an office a few blocks away." 29
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"I mean, I guess you don't stink 'cause, you know, the soap bubbles." 33
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"I miss my mom so much," she offered suddenly, and I looked up to see her staring off into space. "I'm tired of being positive about it all the time. 73
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"I need to get some fly clothes before school starts. Can't roll into eighth grade wearing these rags." 39
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"I'm going to hold a sit-in tomorrow morning in front of the restaurant. Before the vote." 199
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"I. Um. Like you. Like, I like you, like you. A lot. And, well, um, I was wondering if you, you know, you like me, maybe?" 144
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"I...I'd like to say something," I said, digging my hands as deep into my pockets as they could go. One of these days I'd really bust through the lining. 223
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"If I see one flyer or sign inside the festival, I will call the chief of police-someone I've gotten to know very well over the last few weeks." 140
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"Individual people don't get to vote, but they do get to voice their concerns at the public forum before the vote." 121
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"It should look like we're not planning on going anywhere," my mom said. 109
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"It's Friday and we barely have any reservations. Where is everyone tonight?" 122
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"It's parked illegally," my mom said with an innocent, slightly mischievous grin. 226
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"Last I checked, this property belongs to the city. Not to your family. First thing tomorrow I'll start building. 206
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"Let's hand out informational literature with all the cons of this development clearly outlined!" 121
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"Let's have the raffle drawing! We're giving away an all-expenses paid weekend getaway to the Caribbean for two!" 117
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"Like your poem says, the journey prepares us for the 'journeys beyond.'" 234
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"Listen here, little girl! All of you! I worked very hard to put on this event. I have tents full of free food and gifts that will seal the approval of this ridiculous family-friendly community." 139-140
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"Look, everyone, this neighborhood is great. But don't you think it's time to take it to the next level?" 147
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"Maybe because I'm taller than most boys, I dunno, but nobody has ever just flat out told me they liked me." 218
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"My mom is her godmother! We're practically related. 37
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"My nephew was exercising freedom of speech. That is not a crime. Right, Rogelio?" 154
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"Okay, everyone," my mom began. "We all know the city council will vote on the bids in ten days." 166
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"People want a VIP experience, not dusty décor and uninspired recipes." 214
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"Seawater in southern Spain is way colder than the ocean in Miami." 11
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"See you later alligator," she said, which left me half-frozen long enough to notice that she had left her book of poems on the mailbox. 35
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"She didn't care that it was a little more expensive," my mom told me. "She wanted to support her neighbors." 188-189
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"She invented farm-to-table." 189
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"She was a beacon in this community and this parish," Father Samuel said. "It is a privilege to honor her today." 174
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"She's not related, related, right?" I asked. My mom laughed. "No, she's not related, related." 228
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"So she let us use the courtyard at her apartment complex. All we paid for was the food and service. She even let us stay in one of the apartments so we wouldn't have to drive home. For free!" 221
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"Soy Wifrido Pipo," he said, showing off a mouth full of perfect white teeth. 29
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"Surely a few salmon rolls and yakitori skewers won't break the bank." 139
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"Take this flyer, think about your neighborhood, and voice your concerns at the public forum in two weeks. Stand up for our community." 137
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"The council has decided to deliberate further and postpone the verdict until tomorrow." 225
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"They should both flow through this town and out to sea where maybe they'll make it back to the island of their birth." 236
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"They were both young and creative and more interested in focusing on the good things that food can be rather than all the criticisms." 74
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"Think of the possibilities: this building will attract more people to the neighborhood. It will create jobs, bring money into the community, and add a level of luxury that the town deserves!" 67
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"This community is about family! Canal Grove has always been about family. And now you want this guy who knows nothing about us to come in here and mess with our family?" 149
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"This multi-use building is a state-of-the-art property designed to fit your every need. It will include a high-end grocery store, personalized parking for residents who live on the upper floors, a ten-thousand-square-foot gym, spa, an Olympic-size pool, and a therapy center with free spin classes and daily yoga." 66
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"This place is barely big enough for our family. Imagine how many more people we could feed with a bigger space." 9
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"We've been so focused on losing that we've forgotten what is important, and this is family." If we lose, and our lease isn't renewed, we'll find a new location. But that's enough fighting." 168
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"Whatever the quote, this is my festival, and I have done nothing wrong by placing a bid on this property." 152
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"When I'm in the sun too long," she said, "I look like a lobster tail that's just been pulled out of a pot of boiling water." 33
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"You did it, Papa! You finally posted something on your own." 230
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"You have to know the right moment to let go or you'll flop backward into the water and hurt yourself." 71
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"You should run for student council next year. I could use a tenacious spirit on my team." 199
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
"You're wrong!" I yelled, storming the stage. "Just because you don't have a family, or don't care about them, doesn't mean they don't care about theirs." I pointed to everyone in the crowd. 150-151
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
A couple of quick flashes popped from the mysterious figure. 12
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
A few of my third cousins, two of my dad's best friends from high school, and cousins who I called cousins (but weren't really my cousins) sat around in different spots, waiting for food to be served. 4
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
A young person has the power to do many great things. It's about belief. And most important, it is about "Love," I said out loud. 89
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
AC was the one luxury she didn't' mind spending money on. She'd never had that in Cuba and thought it was a marvel. 161
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
Air-conditioning blasted through the holes in my mask, instantly cooling my costume and drying my sweat. I paused for a few seconds to take in the gloriousness. 63
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
Alfredo and Melinda Ortega, our butchers, gave us all the chicken, beef, and pork my dad's pickup truck could carry. And then they followed us to the restaurant and delivered more. 188
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
All that success, and I never heard him talk about anyone who he cared about. Not one person. 148
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
All week was like that. Hugs, tears, and lots of donations for the memorial. 189
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
And because I was sure I would forever associate churros with heartbreak, I knew that I'd probably never eat a churro again. 145
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
Another picture showed my mom accepting her first major cooking award, the Newbie Chef Challenge competition on the Food Is Life network. 19-20
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
As the week went on, we felt really good about the upcoming vote. 112
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
At one point a couple popped in but then went back outside when they heard, "Free food all day!" from the loudspeakers. 143
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
BEFORE TODAY, IT was safe to say that my mom was not comfortable in the spotlight. 213
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
Because city council members are elected by the citizens of the county, members would take these opinions into consideration before voting. 210
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
Behind me, the kitchen doors swung open, and my mom walked through, wearing her signature uniform: a bright-orange chef coat with Cari in fancy cursive on the upper left side. 27
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
Chuchi Flores, who owned the boutique clothing shop down the block, sipped on sparkling red juice while she spoke excitedly with Estelle Anderson, who owned the antique store next to Chuchi's. 116
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
Commissioner Garcia finally came back to the restaurant and was especially pleased when he heard he could eat his favorite Cuban sandwich for dinner also. 112
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
Customers accepted her friendly kisses. 25
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
Dulce Dominguez, the lady who owned Two Scoops, munched on a crostini that looked like it had red caviar on it. 116
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
ENVELOPES SCATTERED ALL over the place as I jumped back. 31
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
Elbows flew as everyone scooped the mushy rice and black beans topped with avocado picked from the tree in our courtyard. 13-14
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
Every Saturday night, her apartment filled with the heavenly smells of saffron, yerba buena, cilantro and perejil. 193
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
Every time my parents told this story, they each had their version of how it went down. And it often prompted playful bickering. It was the way they expressed their love. 184
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
Everyone in the crowd looked like they had just seen an alien spaceship land. Their jaws were on the floor. 152
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
Everyone raced to find a seat like they were playing musical chairs or something. They pushed and shoved and complained that they didn't have enough room. 13
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
Everyone slowly pushed the smaller tables together to make one long table spanning the entire width of the restaurant. 10
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
For nineteen years this restaurant has grown with the people of Canal Grove. 214
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
For the second time today, I spilled my guts. I told my mom everything. About visiting Wilfrido's office. About La Cocina missing from his building plan. 104
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
From the time I was six, I stayed with her on Saturday nights while my parents went out, and together we prepped for Sunday family dinner. 193
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
I don't know if it was the shower or the feeling of release I had from writing all night, but I was happy to see them. My family. 167
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
He continued to punch me in the arm whenever I didn't add enough vinaigrette to a salad or when I didn't put enough ceviche on a plate. He said it was so I would stay alert during my shift, but really I think he just liked to punch me in the arm for random reasons. 234
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
He drove around the famous Malecon, a huge seawall along a district in Havana called Vedado, taking tourists from Europe and Canada to Havana's major sights: the museum, the palace, through the cobblestoned streets leading to the University of Havana, and around to the famous nightclubs, like the Tropicana. 91
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
He ordered more security to come after me, but I swung my poster around like a sword to ward them off. Before I could do anything, I felt my sign ripped out of my hands from above. 150
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
He waddled around like a hippo standing on two feet, and the mixture of highly perfumed deodorant and fried grease was making me queasy. 50
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
He went to kiss it, but she took it back before he could. It didn't seem like she wanted to accept such a gesture from someone she clearly didn't know. 29
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
Her coughs slowed down, but my heart sped up. Be okay. Be okay. It was the only thought in my mind. 103
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
Her eyes hid in the folds of her wrinkled lids. She shuffled to the bookshelf and tucked Marti back into his place. 126
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
His breath smelled like room-temperature cheese. "I beat my family and my brothers and sisters and earned my father's love. You win by being strong. Not sentimental and weak." 151
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
His face had turned so red, he looked like a crab that had been boiled so long, its claws were about to crack. He was disgusted by the sign. 150
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
How the heck was I going to compete with a guy who wrote poetry, fought for the independence of an entire country, and died on the battlefield, fighting for freedom? 142-143
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
I WOKE UP the next morning to the sound of my Hulk alarm blasting "Hulk smash!" in my ear. 17
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
I also learned that love is a giant pretzel. Twisty. Salty. It leaves you dry and thirsty. 2
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
I checked and saw that @CARSAN2121 was from Madrid and loved the beach, crime fiction, and poetry. 93
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
I could feel the trailer sway from side to side, as if a stampede of rhinos marched down the narrow aisle. Angry voices got closer and closer, and suddenly the latch to my cell shook until it finally unhinged and the door swung open. 154
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
I could hardly hear anything but the thump, thump inside my ears while my mom cleared her throat and made her final case for La Cocina. 212
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
I could see flyers scattered in the streets just a few feet behind them, left behind by people who were now enjoying the festival. 148
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
I could take Spanish one or two words at a time, but it was harder to put full sentences together. And forget about asking me to read it. 87
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
I felt a rumbling in my stomach, but I wasn't hungry. It was like a deep fryer was sizzling yucca fries in my guts and it felt, um, weird and good at the same time. 130
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
I flipped the flyer over to find restaurant stats and a paragraph about the environmental impact of a high-rise in Canal Grove. 135
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
I folded the letter back into the box, ready to test my courage in more than one way. 131
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
I found out later that the pots and pans got a steam in El Monstruo and then were cleaned with olive oil before the restaurant opened, because cast iron is dense and takes time to heat up. 25
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
I guess being on a famous reality TV show kind of makes you a celebrity. 27
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
I had no interest in dressing like a rapper. But that would have been better than what I ended up wearing. 59
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
I had the master key because another one of my summer jobs was assistant apprentice super for my family's complex. 30
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
I imagined myself riding a tan horse into the summer sunset, swatting any mosquito that tried to sting my awesomeness. 1
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
I kissed her cheek and whispered good-bye. I left her apartment, still wishing I could have told her about everything that was going on. But how could I? It wouldn't be fair to get her worked up. 127
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
I knew what they'd say, and I didn't feel like explaining why I was suddenly so interested in having a girl around, even though that girl was supercool... but also my mom's goddaughter. 35
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
I learned that no matter what I physically lost on that journey between countries, my history never changed. 90
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
I looked at my mom as she scowled. Maybe now we'd break out the machine guns and samurai swords. 119
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
I never thought about the farms and businesses the restaurant bought supplies from and the people who owned those businesses. 188
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
I noticed how differently people reacted when they saw my mom in the dining room. They whispered and looked at each other the way people do when they see a celebrity. 27
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
I once bought her a scarf with giraffes on it for her birthday. She said it was her absolute favorite scarf of all time. 25
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
I ran straight to my room and climbed into bed early so this terrible day would end. 77
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
I sank into my seat and crossed my arms. Partially because I was freezing in the chamber and partially because I was upset that Commissioner Garcia, of all people, had clapped for such a ridiculous argument. 212
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
I suddenly felt brave. Bold. Like a fisherman in a rising storm taking the massive waves rolling all around him. 132
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
I suddenly felt uneasy. I didn't know where we stood with the commissioner. 209
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
I tugged at the fake Hulk muscles squeezing my real chest, and desperately hoped the costume would break and we would have to go back so I could change into regular clothes. 62
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
I turned the corner from our apartment complex and walked a few blocks to the main strip, where all the restaurants and shops in Canal Grove were located. 18
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
I wanted to dump a pot of lard all over his head and his stupid festival and his Pipo Place. 155
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
I wanted to wait for the right moment to speak, and I figured it might be good to go at the end so I could have the last word. 220
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
I was glad that my family was thinking about stepping up their game, but I wasn't sure it would be enough. 110
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
I was just a taxi driver who loved to read. What could I possibly offer such an incredible lady? 130
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
I was like she was a blowtorch burning my neck and making a crispy marshmallow out of my throat. The fruity body splash she had on made it impossible to focus. 36
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
I was really proud of my cousin and slightly intimidated she wanted me to join her political activist team at school next year. 200
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
I wondered if I'd ever be able to be near her without my neck flaring up like a boiling lobster. 230
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
I'd admitted I liked a girl, and it totally backfired. In my face! 146
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
I'd started digging through the mail when someone came up from behind and startled the frijoles out of me. 30
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
I'm not sure if abuelas are allowed to have favorite grandkids, but I can tell you this: my abuela always wanted me to sit next to her. 13
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
I'm officially resigning from love. 1
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
I'm sitting on a cracked vinyl sofa, staring out at my abuela's restaurant from a tiny window while I await my sentence. 1
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
If she were here, all she'd have to do was take our hands and offer a prayer and everyone would quiet down and listen. Instead I watched my family crack open. 168
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
If there was ever a moment to declare you like someone, it was with a churro in your hand and a day of protesting a greedy land developer's hostile takeover of your neighborhood behind you. 144
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
If there was no personal connection to the place, how could we ever expect to win? 209
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
In the bathroom, I soaked my hair and combed it as best I could, then put a lot of extra deodorant on. Not Mira Bro! That stuff is nasty. 205
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
In the meantime, we planted floribunda bushes everywhere. 233
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
Inside the box was a stack of letters neatly tied together with string, a few pens, a watch that didn't work, and a folded envelope. 56
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
It felt like a thousand pounds of refried beans had just been dumped onto my head. 152
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
It felt like guests were really responding to our extra level of service. We sent out free goat cheese croquets with fresh fig jam to every person who came in to eat. 111
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
It felt like my stomach had turned into a vacuum cleaner to suck my chest into it. 144
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
It felt like we were an army. Actually, we were more like a rising tide during a hurricane-picking up speed and more waves (our family, neighbors, and friends) as we hurled to shore. 207
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
It was Bicycle Bill, in his tricked-out three-wheeler bike with a basket that carried a huge speaker and his toy poodle, Henry, and had a large picture of Celia Cruz taped to the front. 62
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
It was a typical summer Miami afternoon where the humidity punishes any and all. Especially idiots who wear superhero costumes that don't fit and rubber masks that only have one small hole to breathe through. 61
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
It was almost eight and the sun had begun to drop over Main Street, casting shadows on the festival and turning the sky pink and orange. 147
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
It was comfort food to a whole group of people who longed for a taste of home. 128-129
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
It was strange hearing how a place that held real memories and had real people working and eating inside of it for so many years was nothing but an address and a property line to the board members. 209
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
My stomach sank as I walked past her old KitchenAid blender. I'd probably never be able to drink a mango batido again. 161
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
Letting poetry speak for me was the most unexpected thing I had ever done. 131
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
Life is good until Sunday family dinner when disaster strikes. 40
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
Love and faith are most important. What does that even mean? 57
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
Love is not a tempestuous sea; it is a calm river. It is not a bonfire but a quiet ember. It is not an abrupt end; it is peace. 89
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
Mira Bro was a line of really sparkly men's jewelry, tight patterned shirts and jeans, and most famously, a really, really potent men's deodorant. 45
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
Mr. Perez sported the most epic mustache I had ever seen. I couldn't tell where his nose ended and where his lips began. 208
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
My cousins who we called cousins but weren't really cousins were working the Saturday lunch shift while the rest of us took to the streets. 136
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
My dad was about six-foot-two, and while he was probably the least violent guy ever, he could look pretty imposing. His big hands and huge shoulders and bushy beard made him look like he lived in the mountains with bears. 207
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
My mission had been to deliver a speech that would win our case. 225
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
My mom and I and the rest of my family met outside. I walked over to Bicycle Bill and thanked him. 226
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
My mom handed me an onion, a pepper, some plantains, cilantro, carrots, shallots, and something that looked like an onion. 192
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
My mom slid into the other seat next to me and gave me this look like she knew something was up. "Well, I approve of her family, so that's good," she said with a smirk. 228
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
My mom took her seat, and I squeezed her hand as the members called for a break. 215
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
My mom walked up to the construction worker and told him he had no right to park his vehicle there. 206
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
My neighborhood. Change had come. But I wasn't worried anymore. 231
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
My throat and stomach took turns dancing and twirling with the rest of my organs. It was a salsa party of nerves, embarrassment, and maybe, kind of, excitement. 201
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
My whole family and the Green Teens walked to Main Street together. 136
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
Next, the chairman read from an agenda for today's proceedings. He read the legal details of the proposal. 209
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
Nobody really knew where Bicycle Bill lived or even where he'd come from, but he had been a fixture of Canal Grove for as long as I could remember. 62
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Not only did my entire family work together at La Cocina, but we also lived in the same apartment complex. 15
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
ON THE MORNING of the festival, my family gathered in the courtyard. 133
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Of course you probably know the history of how we first came to America and how we worked very hard to start our restaurants and build a nice life for our family. 129
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Oh, and I was promoted to assistant junior cold food prep cook!
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
Okay, this one was much harder. Something about the dark night, but I was pretty sure the poem wasn't about Batman. 126
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
One by one, my family members made their way out of their apartments and to the center of the courtyard. 106
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
Other kids held signs on sticks with different slogans on them. 134
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
Our lease was renewed, and my family started working with a contractor for the expansion almost immediately. 233
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People really did like talking about themselves. 34
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
She and my dad went out on dates, like, two or three times a week now. I sometimes heard her giggling through the hallway and, I gotta be honest, it was kind of embarrassing. 235
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
She dropped soil onto the ground and spread it with the cane she'd started using to help her get around. 53
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
She either wore lots of jewelry-always her shiny silver necklace with cross and oval pendant-or silky scarves with colorful prints. 25
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
She followed my mom to the kitchen but insisted on talking to everyone on the way. 27
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
She grabbed a tray full of little chickens and started hacking them in half with a butcher knife that was so big, it looked like it belonged to Conan the Barbarian. 192
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She had been really funny but never snarky when judging food or restaurants. 73
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
She held a sign that said FAMILY IS COMMUNITY-COMMUNITY IS FAMILY while I passed out flyers. 141
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
She put the book she was holding onto the mailbox and then pulled her reddish-brown hair into a ponytail. 32
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
She said nobody would suspect a kid dressed like a superhero of snooping for information. 61
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
She said she was pretty tired so I helped her to her recliner. She closed her eyes almost immediately.
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
She shredded the little orange stick monsters into pieces with her furious chopping. If my mom wasn't a chef, she could have been a samurai. 192
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
She smiled at the one of nine-year old me standing alone holding a basketball against my hip. My jersey was so big, it looked like was wearing a dress. 44
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
She was in charge fully now, and I think that flipped a switch in her. Her voice boomed through the speakers and filled the chamber. 213
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
She was probably avoiding me like I had the plague or something. Of course she didn't like me! She kept saying we were family. 146
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
She wore heels that made her look five inches taller, and makeup that made her look ten years older. Her hair was totally done up, and a pair of glasses completed her disguise. 61
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
Sometimes life forces you to make bold decisions. Sometimes those decisions require many sacrifices and choices that will change the course of your journey forever. 128
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
THE DAY OF the vote, I sprang out of bed before my Hulk alarm clock went off. I got dressed and rushed out of my room to leave for the public forum. 204
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THE FESTIVAL HOLDING cell was a mobile office with three rooms closed off from one another that ran the length of the trailer. 152
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THE NEXT MORNING, my mom came in to wake me up before my Hulk alarm went off. 186
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The book made a crackling sound when I opened it. The verses were in Spanish, and I had a feeling I was going to end this reading session with a headache. 124
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
The building would absorb the entire neighborhood like a light-sucking vampire that turned everything into darkness. 147
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
The bulldozer had been reparked on the lot. It blocked the entrance to the patio, and my mom called the towing company to have it removed. 226
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
The canals that ran through town twisted and turned and eventually dumped out into the bay. That was how the neighborhood had gotten its name. 72
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
The first thing she did when she got inside was head to her little kitchen to make a batido from fresh mangos that had fallen from the neighbor's tree. 54
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
The front door opened, and a man dressed in a crisp white suit and a wide-brimmed hat walked in. 28
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
The gas stoves flared up. My mom brought out the kitchen knives and placed the assorted ingredients on the prep station. 191
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The great Cuban poet and patriot Jose' Marti' wrote and translated many works of poetry and essays in both English and Spanish. 89
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
The guy in the middle, who I learned was the chairman of the committee and whose name was really hard to pronounce-Porfirio Mondalla-wore glasses at the edge of his nose and read from a paper. 208
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
The lot itself was full of tents, with a large stage in the middle surrounded by lights, two large speakers, and a microphone stand. 137
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
The money I made over the summer was always enough for plenty of movies on the weekends, a new basketball, at least one new pair of kicks, and a whole school year's worth of weekend ice cream trips to Two Scoops, conveniently located around the corner from La Cocina de la Isla. 17
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
The only thing I've learned from this crazy course of events is that no matter how much we believe David beat Goliath, the reality is that the big guy always wins. 1-2
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
The other six members flanked him on either side, and I heard each of their names as a lady at the far corner of the table called roll into the microphone. You had to really look, because it seemed like she didn't move her mouth. 208
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The restaurant hadn't even opened yet, and I needed to wash more than twenty racks! 25
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
The white rose on her coffin reminded me of everything I had and everything I had lost. My whole world felt like it was slipping away. 176
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
Then, without warning, she grabbed my shoulders and double kissed me, one on each cheek. 8
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
There is an opportunity to continue to serve the community we love and attract tourists who want to experience Miami beyond South Beach. 214
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
There was a huge replica of a city near the window. It looked a lot like my neighborhood, only it had a huge tower at the corner of what was Main Street. 63
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
There was a table that curved out to face residents, and two podiums positioned to face the board members. Each board member had a microphone and a nameplate. 208
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There was no way I was going to speak at the podium! 210
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These kids were the real deal at my school. They organized rallies, had students sign all kinds of petitions-from making drinking water safer to protecting the Key Largo woodrat to planting trees throughout the neighborhood. 134
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They had known each other since middle school. The same Palm Middle that I went to. 148-149
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They loaded fricase de pollo from chafing dishes and platters like it was their last meal on earth. 14
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
This was not the lanky, mutant-fast cheetah girl I used to play tag with years ago. 7-8
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
Through the window, I could see she had fallen asleep on her recliner while watching her favorite telenovela, El comandante y la duquesa. 77
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
Through the windowed double doors, I made eye contact with a tall, reddish-brown-haired, honey-eyed girl waving and smiling with a mouth full of tiny colorful braces. 6
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
Together we made soups and sauces and all kinds of cool stuff. 193
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Two multicolored giraffes greeted customers at the entrance of the restaurant, making an arch as you walked through the French double doors. 18
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
WE SPENT THE next week on high alert. Everyone worked harder to make the best possible impression on guests. 111
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Was it my mother's job in life to embarrass the heck out of me? That poem was the result of an extreme emotional situation. It was a one-time thing! I had no desire to ever read in public again. 229-230
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We all decided the music that played overhead would throw back to the days when the restaurant first opened nineteen years ago-Beny More', Celia Cruz, and Tito Puente. 109
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
We all went inside for lunch. Like always, a few tables had been pushed together lengthwise across the center of the dining room. 228
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We eat our cones quickly, careful not to drip meIted ice cream onto our clothes. I look across the street and notice a fancy sign with cursive writing on it above a new store. 39
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
We had more specials, extended lunch menus into the night-something that a few of our regulars had asked for in the past. 112
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
We marched toward city hall in huge numbers. 207
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We stayed outside the festival grounds, but we made sure to talk to everyone heading in and out. Most people were happy to speak with us. 141
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
We walk and talk and each take turns dribbling our ball through the neighborhood. The rest of the week is exactly what I want out of summer. 40
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
We watched as a long line formed at the food tent. People left with long sticks with squares of fish on them. 138
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We went to every local farm and vendor and ordered all kinds of fresh ingredients. 188
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We were all speechless. He'd basically just called us extinct. 140
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
What an incredible invention! She'd said. To have winter in your home and year-round summer outside. 161
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
What we needed was a plan. We needed to get the family together. We needed to get the community involved. 102
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
When we arrived at the restaurant, my mom got out of the car to place a black bow on the door. 187
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When we got there, my mom hurried into the chamber, where she'd make her final plea. 207
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When you tell a girl you like her, you need galactic-level courage. 136
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
While she walked, she quietly sang a song she used to sing to me when I was a kid. "Guantanamera." 29
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
With the expansion in to the lot, we plan to add dining space so we can feed more of you, and we will also increase our space for events. We hope to hold community concerts on a new custom-built stage." 214
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With the praying portion of the evening over, nobody waited to be served. 13
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
Yeah, I know I'm thirteen, but there's just something about a bounce house that makes me feel awesome. 4
