Ch 1: Nature Of Conflict

Love Relationships

-Big difference between couples who stay together and break up is how they perceive and handle conflict and how successfully they move through conflict episodes -1 key skill in LDR's is conflict relationship

Avoidance Spirals

-Can also reflect destructive conflict interaction -Dynamics: 1.) less direct interaction 2.) Active avoidance 3.) Harboring resentment/disappointment 4.) complaining to third persons -Demonstrate covert expression

Spiral of Negativity

-Caused by parties having strong desire to "get even" or damage the other party -Conflict continues unabated becomes spiral of neg. -3 Parts: 1.) Behaviors 2.) Perceptions of Others 3.) Perception of relationship reinforce eachother

Interdependence

-Conflict parties engage in an expressed struggle and interfere with one another bec. they are interdependent -conflict is a mutual activity

Critical Start-Up

-Criticizing -Sets scene for constructive/destructive conflict -Harsh start up -If conflict begins with a critical statement, it will escalate quickly -Makes other person defensive -Women criticize more than men

Interpersonal Conflict

-Depends on interpersonal communication -conflict participants comm. in an effort to generate shared meaning and accomplish social goals

Attack/Withdraw Pattern

-Destructive: pursue/flee -Stonewalling/Avoidance comes after Attack/Withdraw

The 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse

-Gottman -When these 4 behaviors "ride" in a relationship, end is near 1.) Criticizing 2.) Defensiveness 3.) Stonewalling 4.)Contempt

Destructive Marital Conflict

-Has effects on parents relationship as well as they're social life, happiness, and children -Circular Relationship between adult children and their fathers (they treat father how their father treated them)

Conflict Characteristics

-Has to be expressed: nonverbal, verbal disagreement -Interdependence

Gridlock Conflicts

-Nothing is being solved, going back and forth, more frustration -trying harder doesnt work -must try a different strategy

Perceived Incompatible Goals

-People engage in conflict over goals that are important to them -Goals are incompatible bec. parties want the same thing or different things -these goals are central to all conflicts -cant coexist/have different goals -linked to scarce resources

Escalatory Spirals

-Pervade destructive conflict -"Fight" patterns -Have one direction, upward and onward -Overt Expression of Conflict -Characterized by a heavy reliance on overt power manipulation, threats, coercion, and deception -Relationship continues to circle around (damaging), interaction becomes self-perpetuating

Perceived Scarce Resources

-Resources can be real or perceived as real -Persuasion with supportive responses for person fearful of losing the reward can help -In interpersonal struggles, 2 resources perceived as scarce are Power and Self- Esteem

Family of Origin

-Socializes us into constructive or destructive ways of handling conflict -We develop expectations of how conflict will be, or should/should not be, based on what was handled when we were young

Workplace Conflict

Conflict at work presents challenges that affect career development

Perceived Interference

Conflict is associated with blocking and the person doing the blocking is the problem -something is blocking your goal, outside or apart of conflict

Joint Comm. Representations

Conflict is present when there are joint comm. representations of it -Verbal -Nonverbal -Comm. behavior is identified with conflict

Dissonance & Resonance

Dissonance= Clashes/disharmony Resonance= Harmony -In productive relationships these are balanced. -we need stability and change (independence and dependence needs)

Conflict

Expressed struggle between at least 2 interdependent parties who perceive incompatible goals, scarce resources, and interference from others in achieving their goals

Interdependence

Having some form of relationship fulfilling needs not always aware until violation

Destructive Conflict

If all participants are dissatisfied with conflict then they have lost (destructive)

Why study conflict?

If we dont, we are more likely to repeat the damaging patterns we see on the job and in our homes

Supportive Climates

Neutralizes defensiveness, practice support by recognizing defensiveness, support=respect of each other

Mutual Interests

People in strategic conflict have mutual interests, only to keep the conflict going/benefit them -Each decision is interdependent and carries element of cooperation and competition

Mutual Interdependence

Sometimes parties are looked in mutual interdependence when stuck in unproductive interdependence, conflict can turn into Gridlock Conflicts

Stonewalling

Withdrawal from Interaction -Opposite of effective nonverbal and verbal comm. -No engagement to try to solve conflict -Men stonewall more than women

Perception

core of conflict analysis sorting out what is interpersonally accurate forms the basis of conflict analysis

Prevention of Conflict

implies taking effective measures to ward off something destructive

Intrapersonal Conflict

internal strain that creates ambivalence, conflicting internal dialogue, and lack of resolution goes with interpersonal conflict

Emotional Intelligence

the capacity for recognizing feelings, self-motivation, and dealing with feelings are skills that pervade all of conflict management

Social Awareness

1.)Empathy 2.)Org. Awareness 3.)Service orientation

Contempt

Any statement or nonverbal behavior that puts oneself on a higher plane than ones partner -Involves mockery, put downs, hostile corrections -Signals an emergency in a relationship -Can lead to abuse

Strategic Conflict

(Schelling, 1960) -Conflict in which parties have choices as opposed to conflict in which the power is so disparate there are no choices

Comm. and Conflict

-Comm. behavior often creates conflict -Comm. behavior reflects conflict -Comm. is the vehicle for the productive or destructive management of conflict

Skill Development

-the way conflict is handled predicts whether the interpersonal relationship will thrive -conflict management requires skills of emotional intelligence

Self-Awareness

1.) Emotional self-awareness 2.)Accurate self-assessment 3.) Self-confidence

Self-Management

1.) Self control 2.) trustworthiness 3.) conscientiousness 4.)adaptability 5.)achievement orientation 6.)initiative

Social Skills

1.)Developing others 2.)leadership 3.) Influence 4.) Communication 5.) Change-catalyst 6.) conflict management 7.) building bonds 8.) teamwork and collaboration

Defensiveness

Destructive outcomes like power struggles, chronic fighting, retaliation

Interpersonal Approach

focuses on the communicative exchanges that make up conflict episode

Triggering event

something that sets you off