Chapter 10: Friendships in Our Lives

friends of the heart

Friends who remain close regardless of distance and life changes.

relationship rules

Guidelines that friends or romantic partners have for their relationships. Usually, relationship rules are tacit, not explicit, understandings and help us figure out whats appropriate or not.

What are the four general guildines to enhancing communication with friendships?

1. dual perspective 2. honest communication 3. open to difference 4. look beyond the small things

What are the three external tensions that can affect a relationship?

1. easiest to neglect 2. changes as life changes 3.geographic distances

friendships work in what set of stages

1. encounter or meeting 2. spend time together 3. long-term friendship (feelings expressed) 4. Nascent friendship- think of ourselves as friends 5. stablized friendship 6.when one or both people stop investing in the relationship

what 2 things are we expected from friendships?

A. We expect to invest time, energy, thoughts, and feelings into our friendships. B. We expect to develop an emotional closeness that includes self disclosure.

internal tensions

Relationship stresses that grow out of people and their interaction. Include relational dialects, social diversity, and sexual attraction.

friends of the road

Temporary friends with whom intimacy is not sustained when one of the friends moves or changes occur.

Relational Dialects like 1. autonomy/intimacy (desire ro be independent/ desire to be close) 2. novelty/routine (change/routine) 3. openness/closedness (open communication/closed communication)

create tension when friends have different expectations

who expresses intimacy through dialogue?

feminine women and androgynous men

Social Diversity

our interpretation of different communication styles or perceptions create misunderstandings.

external tensions

stressors that grow out of the situation or context surrounding the relationship. 1. easiest to neglect 2. changes as life changes 3.geographic distances

Sexual attraction

two friends have agreed not to add romance to their relationship or if one person wants romance and the other does not.

why are friendship important in our lives?

unique because there are no rules, laws, or institutional structures that create and maintain them