COM 225 FINAL EXAM CH. 11

What is the biggest stereotype regarding gay and straight male friendships?

"The notion that gay men can't refrain from hitting on straight friends"

Friendship is Voluntary

-We have greater liberty in choosing our friends than we do in choosing partners for any other relationship type -"Fate chooses your relations, you choose your friends"

What is the average number of cross orientation friendships for men?

0

What makes a close friend a best friend?

1) Best friends are typically same sex 2)Best friendship involves greater intimacy, more disclosure, and deeper commitment than close friendship 3) people count on their best friends to listen to their problems without judging 4) shared activities commit the friends to each other in substantial ways

How can you successfully transition from friendship to romance?

1) Expect difference 2) Emphasize disclosure 3) offer assurances

10 friendship Rules

1) Show support 2) Seek support 3)Respect Privacy 4)Keep confidences 5)Defend your friends 6) Avoid public criticism 7) Make your friends happy 8) Manage Jealousy 9) Share Humor 10) Maintain Equity

Why do people form FWB relationships?

1) They welcome the lack of commitment 2) want to satisfy sexual needs

What are the two most important functions that friends serve us in life?

1. fulfilling our need for companionship 2. emotional support

On average, people have how many close friends?

4

In the mid 1980's, what percent of men and what percent of women reported having close cross sex friendships?

40% of men 30% of women

What percent of college students have had friends with benefits?

50%

What percent of Facebook users report that their real world friends also are Facebook friends?

80%

What percent of college women report feeling sexually attracted to a friend at some point in their lives?

80%

What percent of college men report feeling sexually attracted to a friend at some point in their lives?

93%

What is one of the most common reasons for friendships ending?

A change in shared interests and beliefs

What do Euro-Men like to avoid direct expressions of?

Affection and intamcy

Self Disclosure (maintenance strategy #2)

All friendships are created and maintained through the discussion of thoughts, feelings, and daily life events.

What does Sex and the City reflect?

An accurate reflection of the many types of friendship that populate our lives, regardless of sex or city.

What do both men and women report is the defining feature of friendship?

Being able to freely and deeply disclose

What is the most commonly reported reason for ending a friendship?

Betrayal

What are three of the most common friendship challenges?

Betrayal, geographic distance, attraction

What is the primary need in male friendships in North America?

Companionship

For straight men and women, forming a cross-orientation friendship can help do what?

Correct negative stereotypes about persons of other sexual orientations

What is the defining characteristic of intercultural interactions and why?

Differences, because it makes formation of intercultural friendships more challenging

When asked to identify the closest relationship in their lives, what do the Japanese select?

Friendships

Cross-Orientation Friendship

Friendships between lesbian, gay bisexual, transgender, and straight men or women

Intercultural Friendships

Friendships between people from different cultures of countries

What are some potential rewards of intercultural friendships?

Gaining new cultural knowledge, broadening ones world view, and breaking stereotypes

What are friendship beliefs and practices across cultures also entangled with?

Gender norms

In a poll of men involved in gay straight friendships, what did Quenqua find?

He found little evidence of sexual tension between gay and straight male friendships

Friends who feel attracted to one another report what?

High levels of uncertainty : both regarding the nature of their relationship and whether or not their friend feels the same way

What is the reason for cross orientation friendships being more common on TV than in real life?

Homophobia

What is the most important factor that distinguishes best friends?

Identity support

Offline friendships have higher degrees of what?

Intimacy, understanding, interdependence, and commitment

What are friendships rooted in?

Liking (rather than love)

How can you overcome the challenges of forming interethnic friendships?

Look for points of commonality during interethnic encounters that might lead to the formation of a friendship

Who reports more of a desire for romantic involvement with their platonic friends?

Men

People who were friends proper to a romance are more or less likely to be friends?

More likely

For lesbian, gay, bi, etc. people, having a straight friend can provide what?

Much needed emotional and social support from outside of the lesbian, gay, bi etc. community, helping to further insulate them from societal homophobia

What is another challenge men and women face in building a cross sex friendship?

Our society promotes only same sex friendship and cross sex coupling as the two most acceptable relationship options between men and women

What are some challenges of Intercultural Friendships?

Overcoming differences in language and cultural beliefs and negative stereotypes

What is the most prominent barrier confronting gay/straight male friendships?

Peer pressure from friends on both sides not to socialize with someone of a different orientation

What were the other barriers confronting gay/straight male friendships?

Perceptual and communicative -straight men view gan men solely in terms of their sexual orientation, making it difficult to connect with them on other levels

One of the most radical shifts in interpersonal relationship patterns over the past few decades has been the increase in what?

Platonic (same sex) friendships between men and women in the United States and Canada

What is a defining feature of friendships?

Pleasure in sharing time together

What is the strongest predictor of whether someone will have an intercultural friendship is what?

Prior intercultural friendships

Balance openness in self disclosure with what?

Protection

When asked to identify the closest relationship in their lives, what do Euro-Americans tend to select?

Romantic Partners

People who regularly use cell phones to call and text their friends are more likely to do what?

Seek face to face encounters

What distinguishes acquaintances and friends?

Self Disclosure

Most friendships are built on a foundation of what?

Shared activities and self disclosure

What is the primary force that draws us to our friends?

Similarity

What is one way friends cope with attraction?

Some simply repress the attraction

What has reshaped the way people create friendships?

Technology

What is the stereotype for women in the United States and Canada regarding friendships?

That friendships between women are communal, and mens friendships are thought to be agentic

What did sociologist Jammie Price find about cross orientation friendships?

That straight and gay men with the closest friendships were those who had fought side by side. -Having learned to depend on each other for survival built a bond that far transcended differences of sexual orientation.

What do Westerners believe about friendships?

That they don't endure; you naturally lose some friends and gain others over time

Men and women agree about what regarding cross sex friendships?

That they gain a greater understanding of how members of the other sex think, feel, and behave

When people form long term romantic commitments and start families of their own, what begins to wane?

The importance of friendships

What is one context that has proven conducive of cross orientation friendships?

The military

For men, forming friendships with women provides what?

The possibility of greater intimacy and emotional depth than is typically available in male-male friendships

Regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity, people are more likely to have friendships with other of what?

The same ethnicity

Participants who reported high levels of identity support from a new friend were more likely to describe that person as what 4 years later?

Their best friend

Why are people who have had close friends from different cultures in the past substantially more likely to forge such friendships in the future?

They learn enormous benefits that such relationships provide, and lack fear and uncertainty about "out groupers"

What is one challenge men and women have faced in building a cross-sex friendship?

They learned from early childhood to segregate themselves by sex

Definition of Friendship

Voluntary interpersonal relationship characterized by intimacy and liking

What is one practical implication of similarity being the primary force that draws us to our friends?

When your interest and activities change, so do your friendships

What is one of the strongest predictors of whether or not a friendship can successfully transition to romance is what?

Whether the friends already possess romantic beliefs that link friendship with love

At what age do children slowly transfer their emotional attachment from their family to friends?

adolescence

What are the most difficult barriers people face in forming interethnic friendships?

attributional and perceptual errors -we et our own biases and stereotypes stop us from having open, honest, and comfortable interactions with people from other ethnic groups.

Why are friendships less stable, more likely to change and easier to break off than family or romantic relationships?

because we are bonded to friends by choice, rooted in shared interests

What is identity support?

behaving in ways that convey understanding, acceptance, and support for a friends valued social identities

Interethnic Friendship

bond between people who share the same cultural background but who are of different ethnic groups (African American)

What are two ways we keep friendships alive?

by following friendships rules and using maintenance strategies

How do people form friendships now?

by friending on Facebook, quickly and with more people

By the late 1990s, 47% of tenth and twelfth graders report having what?

close cross sex friends

Why are cross sex friendships far less stable tan same sex friendships?

constant disapproval from others and pressure to justify the relationship

In the 20th century, friendships were what?

cross-friendships remained a rarity

What is mental management

doing things to actively manage how they think about each other so the attraction is diminished

Schloar William Rawlins notes what about friends sharing activities?

even friends who don't spend much time together can still maintain a satisfying connection as long as each perceives the other as "being there" when needed

Sharing Activities (maintenance strategy #1)

even more important than the actual sharing of activities is the perception that each friend is willing to make time for the other.

What do communication technologies make possible?

for friends to stay constantly connected with one another

Cross Category Friendships

friendships that cross demographic lines (four common ones)

In the 19th century, friendships were what?

friendships were almost exclusively same-sex

Friendship Rules

general principles that prescribe appropriate communication and behavior within friendship relationships

What is one of the most common and intense challenges friends face?

geographic seperation

Regardless of barriers or bonds, what is one thing that is consistent in cross-orientation male friendships?

lack of consistency. "for every sweeping statement one can make about such friendships, there is a real life counter example to undermine the stereotypes. As with all friendships, no two are exactly alike."

What did a study of friendship conducted in 1974 find?

on average, men and women had few or no close cross sex friends

What is considered a "close friend"?

person who you exchange deeply personal information and emotional support, share interests and activities, and who you feel comfortable around

What are most cross sex friendships NOT motivated by?

sexual attraction

What does self disclosure between friends mean?

sharing private thoughts and feelings and believing you can tell each other anything

What is the group that has the fewest cross orientation friendships?

straight men

What do Javanese (Indonesian) people report?

that marriage should not be too intimate and that a persons most intimate relationship should be with his or her same sex friends

What are valued social identities?

the aspects of your public self that you deem most important in defining who you are

What did people build friendships with in the past?

they built friendships with those who shared values and interests

What do men and women in Southern Spain report?

they feel more comfortable revealing their deepest thoughts to same sex friends than to spouses