Domestic violence

Power & control wheel

-Using Harmful Language: Name calling, Playing mind games, Humiliating someone, Making someone feel insecure, Making someone feel guilty, Telling lies or private information about someone to others -Using Social Standing: Using popularity, class, race, or disability to manipulate someone else; Making all the decisions for someone; Being the only one to define roles in the relationship -Using Technology: Sending unwanted text messages; Breaking into someone's social networking profile, email, or cell phone; Pressuring someone to take, send, or look at sexual photos or pictures -Using Intimidation: Making someone afraid by using looks, actions, or gestures; Smashing, destroying, or stealing property; Abusing pets or loved ones; Displaying weapons -Minimizing, Denying, or Blaming: Minimizing the impact of abuse; Not taking concerns about abuse seriously; Saying the abuse didn't happen; Blaming abusive behavior on stress, alcohol, drugs, or jealousy; saying the victim caused the abuse -Using Threats: Making threats to use physical or sexual violence; Threatening to leave, to commit suicide, or report someone to the police; Making someone do illegal things; Threatening to expose someone's HIV status, Immigration status, or other private information -Sexual Coercion, Harassment, or Assault: Manipulating to get sex or other sexual activity; Getting someone drunk or drugged to get sex; Destroying or refusing to use birth control or STD protection during sex; Making sexual comments, giving inappropriate looks, or telling sexual jokes; Sexually touching, grabbing, rubbing, or pinching someone without their consent -Exclusion: Controlling what someone does where she/he goes; Deciding who someone sees, talks to, or what she/he wears; Limited outside involvement; Pressuring someone to be part of a group; Isolating someone from their friends or family -Using Physical Violence: Hitting, scratching, shaking, choking, pinching, pushing, biting, or grabbing; Using one's body size or strength against another person

Identify signs and symptoms of domestic violence

-Warning Signs: Hitting, punching, kicking, shoving, choking or slapping are some actions. Use of weapons to inflict harm or threaten their partner; controlling what the victim eats and/or when they sleep; and forcing their partner to do work against their will. Forcing them to use drugs or alcohol and stopping them from seeking medical treatment or help from the police. -other common characteristics: Other common characteristics of an abuser are acting jealous or possessive, accusing the victim of being with other partners, withholding affection or acknowledgement in order to punish the victim, cheating on their partner intentionally, and lying or being deceitful to the victim. Threatening to hurt the victim, their loved ones, their pets, their children, or their possessions are key factors of domestic violence. Victims will often complain of their abuser controlling the time that is spent with others, monitoring where they go, controlling what their partner wears; often with the accusation that they attract too much attention. Victims may make reports of the abuser damaging or stealing their belongings but not of the physical, emotional, or sexual abuse that is taking place in the relationship. An abuser usually blames the victim for the abuse, saying that they deserve what happens or that they instigated the problem, for example saying things to make the victim question their perception of reality, such as "That never happened, you never remember correctly," or "Don't get angry over such little things, you're too sensitive." Forcing or manipulating the victim to perform sexual acts, demanding sex when they're not willing or able, harming them during sex by choking, holding or striking them, forcing them to watch pornography, insulting them in sexual ways are all warning signs of domestic abuse whether the victim is married or dating. -Symptoms: Short term** Victims may have increased feelings of shame and guilt, loss of self-confidence in themselves, and feelings of hopelessness or not belonging. Some victims may experience loss of self-esteem despite being told by others positive things about themselves. Victims may also lose their passion to pursue their dreams and goals. Increased feelings of rage, feeling powerless and not in control of themselves, and the inability to concentrate or engage appropriately in learning or social activities are some common short term effects of domestic violence. Victims can become withdrawn, stop communicating, isolate, and find it difficult to form attachments and maintain good relationships with others. Victims may have trouble sleeping or settling down, show disruptive behaviors such as, tantrums, bullying, aggression, and excessive fears or shyness, and often demand excessive attention whether it is negative or positive. During an abusive relationship the victims may begin to physically or emotionally neglect themselves, their children, or their pets. It is important to be able to recognize some of the short term effects and symptoms victims may display because some victims are unable to confide in or trust others. Long term* Victims of Domestic Violence often continue suffering from the abuse long after the abuse has ended. Some victims experience headaches and stomach aches. Some women may develop issues with their menstrual cycle or fertility. Many victims experience permanent physical health problems. Victims have scars and bruises as a result from physical abuse that never go away. These daily permanent reminders of the physical abuse often continue to perpetuate the emotional difficulties such as depression, anxiety disorders and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). The victims are not the only ones that suffer long term effects from Domestic Violence.

Identify different types of domestic violence

-physical abuse: Physical abuse is any non-accidental use of force that results in bodily injury, pain, or impairment. This includes, but is not limited to, being slapped, burned, cut, bruised or improperly physically restrained. Physical abuse is the most apparent form of domestic violence. The abuser may use physical abuse to maintain control and power over the victim. Physical abuse may cause the victim to have visible injuries that cannot be covered up. Due to these injuries most victims will isolate themselves from family and friends to protect the abuser. Some may isolate themselves due to embarrassment. The victim may also miss work and social events to avoid being questioned about their injuries. It is important to know that all physical abuse may not cause visible injuries. The injury does not have to be major to be considered physical abuse. Such abuse can start as small as a slap and escalate to murder. -sexual abuse: Sexual abuse is a crime motivated by a need to control, humiliate and harm. Perpetrators use sexual assault as a weapon to hurt and dominate others. Sexual assault is forced or coerced sexual contact without consent. Consent is the presence of a clear yes, not the absence of no. Sexual abuse can be in the form of: rape, incest, child sexual abuse or molestation, oral sex, harassment, exposing/flashing, forcing a person to pose for sexual pictures, fondling or unwanted sexual touching above and under clothing. Being married does not exempt a man or woman from being a victim of sexual abuse. When sex is used to maintain control and power over the victim it is abuse. The abuser controlling the victim's decision concerning giving birth, not allowing or forcing a victim to get an abortion, or not allowing or forcing a victim to use birth control are also forms of sexual abuse. -emotional abuse: Any act including confinement, isolation, verbal assault, humiliation, intimidation, or any other treatment which diminishes identity, dignity, and self worth. Emotional abuse is much easier to hide since the injuries are not visible. A victim may not always see this type of abuse as domestic violence because physical abuse may or may not accompany the emotional abuse. Often times emotional abuse may be mistaken for the abuser just being a concerned partner, although the abuser is simply trying to maintain control and power. The abuser may monitor what the victim is doing all the time. Decides things for the victim that they should decide such as what to wear or eat. Sometimes these actions may seem normal to the victim but the continuous pattern of these actions are not normal and is considered abuse. The abuser will unfairly accuse the victim of being unfaithful all the time, prevent or discourage the victim from seeing friends or family, or try to stop the victim from going to work or school. An abuser may get angry, but in a way that is frightening to the victim. Humiliating the victim in front of others and threatening to hurt the victim or people they care about are common forms of emotional abuse. An abuser will threaten to harm himself or herself when upset with with the victim, saying things like, "If I can't have you then no one can." Emotional abuse can cause the victim to lose confidence in their most valuable survival tool, their own mind. -psychological abuse: Psychological abuse involves trauma to the victim caused by verbal abuse, acts, threats of acts, or coercive tactics. Perpetrators use psychological abuse to control, terrorize, and belittle their victims. It frequently occurs prior to or concurrently with physical or sexual abuse and is used to control what the victim can and cannot do. Withholding information from the victim. Deliberately doing something to make the victim feel diminished or embarrassed. Isolating the victim from friends and/or family. Stalking the victim through phone calls, text messages, physically showing up at the place of employment, or residence if they are not living together. Demeaning the victim in public or in private. Undermining the victim's confidence and/or sense of self-worth. Convincing the victim that he or she is crazy. Much like emotional abuse, psychological abuse is not visible to the naked eye. Because of this psychological abuse can go undetected by even close friends and family members. Psychological abuse is devastating because it affects the victim's thoughts and feelings about themselves. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, 95% of men that physically abuse their intimate partners also psychologically abuse them. Psychological abuse increases the trauma of physical and sexual abuse. Psychological abuse independently causes long-term damage to a victim's mental health. -financial abuse: Financial abuse is the least obvious type of domestic violence. It can take on many forms such as denial of money, education and career. This happens most often happens when a couple uses a joint account with only one partner controlling the account. Often, there is little to no family support system, which causes the victim to completely rely on the abuser for all financial obligations. The abuser often withholds money for essential items such as food, clothing, and more. The financial limitations often restricts the victim from opportunity to broaden their education and make career advancements. Much like other types of abuse, financial abuse is a form of control and power.

The cycle of abuse

Abuse: abuser explodes, engages in serious, violent abuse. Victim blames him/herself for provoking abuser, and occasionally fights back or escapes Honeymoon: abuser apologizes with gifts, promises, and charm. Victim hopes the relationship will change and agrees to stay. Calm: Abuser behaves as if abuse never happened and keeps earlier promises. Victim believes abuse is over. Tension: abuser becomes agitated and engages in minor incidents of abuse. Victim feels uneasy and tries to placate abuser by staying quiet and following orders. & round and round it goes

Domestic violence statistics

Every 9 seconds in the US a woman is assaulted or beaten. An average of 20 people are physically abused by intimate partners every minute. This equates to more than 10 million abuse victims annually. 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men have been physically abused by an intimate partner. 1 in 5 women and 1 in 7 men have been severely physically abused by an intimate partner. Domestic violence is most common among women between the ages of 18-24. 1 in 7 women and 1 in 18 men have been stalked. Stalking causes the target to fear she/he or someone close to her/him will be harmed or killed. Domestic violence accounts for 15% of all violent crime. 19% of domestic violence involves a weapon. The presence of a gun in a domestic violence situation increases the risk of homicide by 500%. Only 34% of people who are injured by an intimate partner receive medical care for their injuries. Victims of domestic violence lose a total of 8 million days of paid work each year. Between 21-60% of victims of domestic violence lose their jobs due to reasons stemming from the abuse. Between 2003 and 2008, 142 women were murdered in their workplace by former or current intimate partner. This amounts to 22% of workplace homicides among women. Domestic victimization is correlated with a higher rate of depression and suicidal behavior. The cost of domestic violence exceeds $8.3 billion annually.

Define Domestic Violence

The Department of Justice defines domestic violence as "a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner." It can be physical, sexual, emotional, psychological, financial, or actions or threats of actions that influence another person. This includes any behaviors that intimidate, manipulate, humiliate, isolate, frighten, terrorize, coerce, threaten, blame, hurt, injure, or wound a person. Domestic violence can happen in a heterosexual or same-sex relationship. The frequency and severity of domestic violence varies dramatically. The devastating consequences of domestic violence can cross generations and last a lifetime.