Emotions and Emotional Health
Power of Implicational beliefs
"Pointing the Bone": when doctors in tribes point the bone at a person, they die. Ex) play cards with doc. who loses and kills opponent; implicational belief that the tribe people have that they will die, really causes them to. These beliefs are VERY hard to change.
Know beliefs -> understand emotional life
***Beliefs give you an idea of goals, appraisals are made with respect to goals.
Religious world views and truth telling: Buddhism
- self-centered people have trouble connecting with other (like a prison to buddhists) - lying is more foolish than evil, it reduces one's being and reveals who we really are - Can't have close interpersonal relationships without AUTHENTICITY
What are signs of being connected?
- being in relationships that require EMPATHY - being able to forgive - making a positive contribution to someone's life i.e. compliments, praise, saying thank you
What are signs of being disconnected?
- cynicism about people - viewing someone else's beliefs, culture as worthless - remarks that point to your superiority over others - self-absorbed: world revolves around you
Signs of behavioral addiction (cont.)
- lying to friends and family about how much they engage in the behavior - placing relationships, job or school in jeopardy - Ex. addicted to 24 (show), left work early to watch missed episodes, depressed when show ended - Ex. Addicted to food, lie about how much is eaten
Liar Liar illustrates how non-truth telling and behavioral addictions harm interpersonal relationships
- main character believes success leads to worth/value: develops addiction. -implication belief: can't be successful without lies (has bad impact on relationship with son especially) 1st scene: shows his personality when with client 2nd scene: can't lie in courtroom because son's wish 3rd scene: tries to get son to remove spell
Signs of behavioral addiction
-increased need to engage in the behavior and inability to control it -restlessness and irritability when the person hasn't engaged in the behavior for a while or is trying to stop - turning to the behavior when under stress to escape negative emotions
2 important factors in understanding emotions
1. Psychosocial/cognitive factors: show how experiences affect emotions 2. Biological factors: biological state determined by brain chemistry or drugs (ex.genetic effects, alcohol)
4 components of emotion
1. Subjective: experiential component (feeling) 2. Somatic component: bodily changes (blood pressure...) Ex. Jim Kelly throws up 1hr before every game-strong emotion response to anxiety, Ex. Face expressions are controllable 3. Cognitive component: thoughts 4. *Motivational component (MOST important): anxiety motivates studying before test
Examples of how addictions develop from childhood experiences in the family
1. When parents often argue and child's emotional needs (affection, praise...) aren't met. Child has implicational belief that something's wrong with him - DISCONNECTED 2. Child is berated for getting a "B" (parents want "A"). Child doesn't think their good enough; develop work addiction to validate himself, or gives up and develops other addiction.
Examples of how addictions develop from childhood experiences in the family (cont.)
3. Children from divorced family often blame themselves for the break-up and endorse implicational beliefs like "something is wrong with me" 4. A child may be neglected because her parents work full time and have little time for the children > belief that "I'm not important" or "not good enough"
Psychology of lying
91% lie routinely (36% of lies are dark secrets) 86% lie to parents (73% to siblings) 75% lie to friends 69% lie to their spouses Avg. person lies 3-4 times per day Married couple: 10% of what they say are lies Unmarried couple: 30%
Emotion
A type of experience that is based on the appraisal of an event or circumstance (ex. breaking up, receiving a grade, driving in miami...). Emotions/moods are always associated with motivation (ex. Nervous for test; motivated to study).
Examples of behavioral addictions
Anything that is rewarding to an individual can become a behavioral addiction: drugs, alcohol, food, sex, work, shopping...
Positive reinforcement
Behaviors LEARNED in this way allow individual to receive a future award for desired behavior (most likely to receive social rewards). Both pos. and neg. work equally - interchangeably useful
Implicational belief (schematic model)
Beliefs about self, world and others that operate with concern towards emotional consequences -how will this event affect me? (Ex. Belief that you are smart enough to get a medical degree. Has personal implications)
Relationship between beliefs and goals
Beliefs guide goals. Goals reflect who you are, beliefs determine your goals. (Ex. You believe you're intelligent so your goal is to graduate college. You believe you're trustworthy so you have a goal to form close friendships.)
How can a parent use punishment without harming her relationship with the child? (punishment is inevitable to suppress unwanted behaviors)
Don't use unless necessary, use pos. reinforcement liberally. Sometimes ignoring bad behavior will lead it elimination, punishments often suppress only temporarily. Replace with desired activity (PRINCIPLE OF REPLACEMENT: don't just say no; i.e. replace video games with sports/clubs...)
Element 3 (critical to development of emotionally healthy child)
Effective use of reward and punishment
Goal hierarchy
Emotional reactions are based on appraisal, which is in respect to goals. Goal hierarchy is important in emotions because some goals are more important than others; prioritize goals.
Homeostatic principle of schemas
Even in the face of contradictory evidence, you will stick by implicational beliefs. Most important goal is to preserve and maintain their schemas (implicational beliefs). Thus, appraisal process is biased; events inconsistent with your beliefs get distorted.
Lazarus model of emotion
Event -> appraisal of the personal meaning of the event -> emotional reaction
Definition of entitlement
Expects UNIQUE privileges, believes he/she doesn't have to play by the rules
Core value
Feel like you have worth and value as a result from receiving love
Mood
Feeling state that you always have while awake. A state in which a particular emotion-related appraisal is more likely to take place. Mood biases appraisal process. (Ex. If you're in a sad mood, more likely to make appraisals that lead to emotions of sadness.)
Appraisal ALWAYS with respect to goals (Ex.)
Goals such as: to be kind/generous, be loyal, trustworthy, good friend... Setting a goal sets you up for emotional rx. Ex) Good parent goal: son gets 13 incompletes, parents' appraisal is that they were bad parents. After son's success, feel like successful parents.
Effects of punishment and avoidance motivation on interpersonal relationships? (cont.)
Habitual use of corporal (physical) punishment by parents show: decreased parent-child relationship, poor internalization of moral standards, more aggressive progeny, child with poor emotional health becomes abusive parent
Appraisal quote*
If i appraise something in the right way, then these bad situations will never get me down. Gives himself positive emotional health; circumstances aren't important, just appraisal.
Relationship between implicational beliefs, appraisal, goals, life experiences
Implicational BELIEFS result from life experiences; implicational BELIEFS about self, world and others, determine an individuals GOALS (i.e. belief:smart, goal: college); APPRAISAL made in respect to GOALS; EMOTIONS based on APPRAISAL
Example (2) of homeostatic principle
Implicational belief that he is smart enough to go to college because dad said: you are smart and going to college. This belief biased his appraisal so when iowa test results were bad he wasn't bothered. Counselor said he wouldn't go to college, but he wouldn't accept that.
What are the two major signs of poor emotional health?
It is reflected in the nature and quality of interpersonal relationships. 1. whether or to what extent the person shows behavioral addictions 2. truthfulness in interactions with others
Implicational beliefs (schemas) relate to determining self-worth
J.P. had emotional problems due to schemas regarding his self-worth and value. This was reflected in his symptom of performance anxiety.
Case of J.P.
J.P. saw talented brother as being favored by parents. Became so anxious (performance anxiety) before situations involving evaluation, he threw up. Only received approval when he succeeded. CONDITIONS OF SELF-WORTH* [Self-schema: success (life focus) ->worth], [Appraisal: worry about failing -> worry about losing self-worth/value]
Goal hierarchy (lawyer example)
Lawyer starting salary 175,000 but 80hrs weekly (no free time) OR little less money but more free time -> chooses second because family is most important and wants time for them. [Wannstedt quote: family > winning football games]
Negative reinforcement
Learning as a result of the threat of punishment, avoidance motivation is elicited by the threat; allows individual to avoid punishment (corporal punishments: physical, i.e. spanking) (social punishments)
What is empathy?
Looking at the world from someone else's perspective. Most difficult when you are arguing with that person because it requires minimizing your ego.
Role of implication beliefs in decision-making? (legal example)
Man arrested for being next to vehicle with cocaine transaction; assumed involvement. Out on bail, choose plea bargain or go on trial. Choice depends on implicational belief about legal system (trust or not). He did NOT trust system, took the plea and got criminal record and hours. Decision had personal implications.
Case of Sean P. (why healthy emotional development requires more than unconditional positive regard)
Mom threw her affection onto Sean (sibilings were ignored). Sean was a child delinquent, got caught breaking neighbor's windows with rocks. Brother and other culprit punished, Sean was not. Sean struggled as an adult: failed out of college, 5 marriages...
Mood vs. Emotion
Mood is also affected by the 2 factors, but one is always in a mood. To have an emotion, some event must have taken place that you appraised
Child doomed without unconditional love?
NO. other relationships where they feel loved/needed (ex. friendships, romantic, therapy...)
Example of pos. vs neg.
Parent can teach child to study/do chores by rewarding them with praise or by nagging/criticizing him when they aren't completed. Adults can communicate desired behaviors by praise (pos.) or prevent behaviors by nagging (neg.)
Effects of punishment and avoidance motivation on interpersonal relationships?
People in a parent-child or adult-adult relationship characterized by a lot of negative reinforcement feel anxious and apprehensive. Adults may not feel satisfied with the relationship; happier when receive pos. reinforcement such as praise/affection. Nagging is not effective and typically makes people UNHAPPY.
Mood (cont.)
Psychoactive drugs such as alcohol or heroin influence emotions because they alter a person's mood, which then biases the appraisal process.
Using punishment correctly (cont.)
Punish during or right after misbehavior and use minimum necessary (i.e. take away privileges), be consistent and clear about the offense and punish every time it occurs. Punish with respect (want child to retain self-respect; i.e. don't punish in public). Child should want to behave well for praise, not because of fear of punishment.
Social rewards/punishments
Punishments/rewards from the words or deeds of others; EX) Rewards: praise, compliments, affection, appreciation. Punishments: rejection, failure, criticism, being ignored or nagged.
Propositional belief
Refers to factual information without emotional content. (Ex. beliefs about the number of galaxies in the universe, the existence of God as a propositional versus an implicational belief- it is implicational to the religious)
Appraisal example
Same event, 2 different reactions. Reaction depends on appraisal. Avg. student (2.2gpa)- gets a B and is happy (pos. rx) Honor student (3.9gpa)- gets a B and is sad (neg. rx)
What psychologists study and why
Study human behavior by looking at emotional health and emotions, so that we can help people with emotional issues
Experienced value
Success, being well liked, meeting approval of others, being admired
Element 2 (critical to development of emotionally healthy child)
Teaching humility: egolessness (lack of false pride): if you only have unconditional love -> HUGE ego, don't want feelings of superiority
Where do implicational beliefs come from?
The beliefs come from life experiences. Reactions happen post appraisal based on implicational beliefs (Ex. somatic component: heart rate + blood pressure drop when member is dying)
Appraisal
The unconscious process in the mind that gives personal meaning to events (what does this event mean to me in terms of my goals/beliefs?). Emotion is the result of the appraisal of an event.
Element 1 (critical to development of emotionally healthy child)
Unconditional positive regard: accepted and valued for who they are, including flaws; no strings attached
Challenge of parenting
Want to communicate unconditional love, but sometimes it can backfire (can lead to sense of entitlement - feel like a prince[ss]): "Nobody wants to send a loved prince or princess into a world that does not acknowledge privilege" (Tim Russett)
Why do people develop addictions?
We are social and need to be connected to others. Addictions result when someone is DISCONNECTED from others. Addiction is about filling that emptiness. Ex. J.P. became addicted to work because conditions of self-worth, felt need to be successful. Worked for success to get rewards.
Behavior addiction documented example
Woman was addicted to shopping - $70,000 on credit cards - felt alone after break-ups - shopped to relieve stress
Example of homeostatic principle
You have a schematic model about Sally stating she doesn't like you and doesn't want to talk to you so you avoid her. So you cognitively interpret her quietness around you to mean she doesn't like you, then you experience sadness. (look to beliefs for reasoning)
Will "sparing the rod", spoil the child?
lack of corporal punishment leads to lower rates of teen criminal activity and suicide, teens are LESS unruly, under-socialized and self-desctructive
Sign 2: Truthfulness
truthfulness in interpersonal relationships
