Exam 3 Marriage and Families
which of the following response is most reflective of a postive solution for someone who is upset with their partners lack of time at home?
" I also realize thats an issue and ive secided to stop going every morning. I can limit it to just once a week and it will allow me to focus more on you and the kids."
polyandry
"multiple spouses" but this is a specifc form in which a women is married to more than one husabnd at the same time.
use of pornography: when does it enhance sexual intimacy?
- women who use pornography report being more sexually satisfied as do their partners -couples who watch porn together are more liekly to report a positve imapct on their shared sex life
Role of sexual intimacy in forming and strengthening pairbonds (approach and avoidance motives)
-behaviors associated with sex, such as close physcial proximity, eye contact and vulnerable self-discloures, promot the secretion of hormones associated with pairbinding (oxytocin) -sexual afterglow is a period of elevated closeness and well being following a sexual interaction. --daily diary research that sexual afterglow can last up to three days after sexual interaction.
predicting material outcomes (box 10.2)
-can a realtionship be predicted with greater than 90% accuracy? yes -can the outcomes be predicted with greater than 90% accuracy, with identical procedures, across diverse samples of couples? no
what do couples fight about?
-conflcit arises when one person chasing his or her goals interferes with the other personas goals ex: melissa believes she cannot raise a child who values God and religious faith if Brock is not completely on board with her plan; Brock believes he cannot support Melissas plan if she continues to insist that God and religion must be accepted at face value, with no room for doubt ot alternative views. -children, chores, communication, leisure, work, money
Qualities of a satisfying sex life: Communication
-couples with more positive nonsexuall interactions are more likely to have higher sexual satisfaction and higher frequency of sex. -partners feel stronger sexual desire when their partners has been responsive to their feelings becasue --- makes them deel special and unique --- they are perceived to be more attractive to people outside the relationship
Dr. Gottmans research: Four horseman of apocalypse
-criticism (wouldnt happen if you were more organized) -contempt (take on an error of sepurriority over someone) -defensivness (i didnt do that) -strongwalling (ignore, shutdown)
direct communication
-direct statements, even when negative, ahve a better outcome because they are direct, specific and reasonable -negative vague statements trigger defensiveness and counterattacks
Effects of conflict on children
-feeeling of depression and anxiety -behavior problems -low self esteem -poor social skills
conflict in relaitonships
-inevitable when goals compete between parnters - can build intimacy - from disclosing personal feelings on difficult topics - depends on how conflict is managed - brings issues to awareness - can create and maintain power balance -lead to self-dscovery
negative communication
-longitudinal research suggest that strong negative communication behaviors result in unhappy, unstable relationships -typical poor communication skills have more subtle and weaker impact on realtionships (poor listening skills, defensivenss, stubborness
Qualities of a satisfying sex life: Quantity
-more frequent sex and longer average time per sexual interaction predict greater relationship satisfaction true in both sexually liberal and conservative cultures -the amount of times spent having sex must be sufficient to maintain an intimate connection with ones parnter - there are no additional benefits to having sex more than once per week.
coding conflict behaviors during observations
-outlined how specific behaviors partners showed would be assigned to specific categories of cummunication behavior.
sexual intimacy among couples high in negative activity (emotions)
-partners who are hgih in affectivity tend to experience more negative emotional states across a wide variety of situations, placing their relationship at greater rsiks for problems -many realtionships invilving highly negative partners nonetheless remain stable, and even satisfying for long periods of time -couples were less satisfied witht heir relationships when the spouses were higher in negativve affectivity, but the effect depended on how often the couple had sex.
victims perceptions of sexual coercion
-persistence continued to be asked for sex despite repeated refusals -giving in as the only way to appease the partner, end the conflict, escape -lower relationship satisfaction, feelings of guilt and self blame, deterioration
consequences of couple conflict
-poor communication is realted to realtionship distress -no suport for a causal realtionship between good communication and satisfying intimate realtionship
use of pornogrpahy: when does it hinder?
-porpgraphy creates unrealistic standards and decreases sexual satisfaction with ones partner through contrast effects. 0frequnet use of pornography has been associated with decreases in (sexual satisfaction, realtionship satisfaction, and realtionship commitment) -more frequent use of pornography has a larger effect on sexual satisfaction -mens use of pornography has a negative impact on realtionships and sexual satisfaction
physical health benefits of sexual acitvity
-sexual interactions have a postive influence on health markers as well - frequent sex can help fight infections -older adults who have more sex have (fewer heart problems, better memory, better performance on cognitive tasks_ - kissing lower cholesterol -sex affects hormone levels -sex burns caloreis physical intimacy reduces physical symptoms
changes in sexual intimacy and sexual desire over time in realtionships
-sexual passion peaks early in an intimate realtionship and then gradually fades -as couples get older they have less sex -main decline is age, physcial changes associated with getting older, especially for men -if sexual desire is associated with realtionship satisfaction, then the desire is likely to decline as realtionship satisfaction declines over time.
Barriers to satisfying sex life: lack of time, household responsibilities and gender differences
-the extra time required for work and raising kids has to come from some-where adn for most couples it comes from the time they used to spedn alone together. couples with children spend the least amount of time with eachother -same sex couples negotiate housework in all kinds of ways -different sex couples the burden tends to fall on the women (average 1.6 hours for every hour spent by men) -female partner does the shopping,cooking and doing the dishes and the male partner pays the bills, maintains the cars, and does the driving -couples that have sex more frequently and are more sexually satisfied the more equally they divide household labor.
negotiating differences
-when couples cant negotiate frequency through communication, some individuals resort to sexual coercion.
for whom is it a particularly strong association?(sexual satisfaction or realtionship satisfaction)
-who believe sex is important -with an anxious attachemnt style -men
Qualities of a satisfying sex life: Technique
-women are more liekly to be safisticated with their sex life if they consistently reach orgasm - men are more liekly to be satisfied if their partner consistently reaches orgasm -couples who wngage in mutual masturbation or oral sex are more likely to consistently reach orgasm
When studying realtionships conflict, social exchange theorists are more interested in examining___ than ___.
Actual statements; partner's perceptions of the situation
According to research on the sexual frequency among married couples in the United States between 1989 and 2014, mens annual number of time having sex has ___ and womens numbers have___.
Decreased, decreased
Conflict occurs when one partner pursues his/her ___ in such a way that it interferes with the other parnters ___.
Goals, goals
which comes first? sexual satisfaction or relationship satisfaction
If you have a good sex life you are more likely to be satisfied in your realtionship but if you have a good realtionship you are also more liekly to have a good sex life.
couples who were instructed to increase their sexual frequency reported being ___ at the end of the 90 day study
Less happy
___ refers to the lingering sense of elevated closeness and well being after sex
Sexual afterglow
Each partners evaluation of the sexual aspect of their relationship refers to their
Sexual satisfaction
indirect communication
acting out rather than directly saying what a person is thinking or feeling using facial expressions, tone of voice, and/or gestures.
sexual assault
among GLBT: added stigma that might prevent reporting, invalidating myths -(gay men are more interested in sex would not say no FALSE) -(lesbian rape is impossible since it does not involve intercourse/penetration FALSE)
Couples tend to have mores sex when they divide the household chores based on
an equal division of labor
1. Interpretations by happy and unhappy couples
cognitive editing happy couples tend to view each others behaviors in a more positive light than unhappy couples
Dr. Gottmans research: structrual model of marital interaction
compared to happy couples, unhappy couples -less postive behavior and more negative behavior (how couples communicate about disagreements is a good predictor of whether they are happy or not) - more predictable in interactions (unhappy couples shoe more predictable patterns and structure in their conversations) -longer cycles of reciprocal negative behvaior (unhappy partners are more liekly to reciprocate negativity and reamin stuck there longer than happy couples)
Involuntary celibacy
going without sex for an extended period of time despite the presence of sexual desire, are rarely satisfied with their relationships, even though they may saty for other reasons.
Cognitive editing
happy couples tend to view each others behaviors ina more postive light than unhappy couples
Social exchange theory
how people evaluate the costs and rewards of their current relationships Ex: individuals will make decisions based on certain outcomes
what makes a marriage work?
most sexual activity occurss within committed realtionships sexual component of realtionships rated the most important for this
positive communication
new spouses have high levels of postive emotions, poor communication skills appear to have little effect how much the marraige changes in the next four years. - when levels of postive emotions are low, weak communication skills become potent preedictors of rapid declines in realtionship happiness
demand and withdraw patterns of conflict communication
occurs in one of two patterns between marital partners, in which one partner is the demander, seeking hange, discussion, or resolution of an issue, while the other partner is the withdrawer seeking to end or avoid discussion of the issue.
Attachment and conflict
partners with secure attachment style may feel less threatened by realtionship conflict than those with high attachemnt realted anxiety and avoidance
attachment styles and conflict
patners with secure attachemnt style may feel less threatned by realtionship conflict than those with high attachemnt related anxiety and avoidance
Qualities of a satisfying sex life
quantity, technique, and communication
2. interpretations by happy and unhappy couples
reactivity hypothesis unhappy couples tend to be vigilant for immediate negative behaviors and tend to respond in kind
constructive ways to negotiate sexual interactions
reassurance that a partner is wanted, attractive and desirable is the best way to let them know you are not in the mood for sex at the moment -tone of voice when rebuffing sexual overties is important in reasurring the partner as well
social learning theory
reinforced, we are likely to do it again Ex: IF your partner demands that i do something that i really dont want to do , and increases that demand until I give in to it, then I have rewarded my partner for being demanding; in the future, he or she will be more inclined to make similar sorts of demands
In a videotaped discussion, a husband says, "I feel really uncomfrotable whenver we duscuss our sexual realtionship." how would you code the husbands statement?
seld-disclosure
Association between sexual satisfaction and relationship satisfaction
sexual satisfaction is strongly correlated with relationship satisfaction
the rechnique used to understand sources of couple miscommunication through structured, problem-solving discussion is called:
talk table
polyamory
the practice of engaging in ongoing emotional and sexual realtionships with multiple people, with the knowledge and consent of all parties involved.
reactivity hyothesis
unhappy couples tend to be vigilant for immediate negative behaviors and tend to respond in kind
Coercion
using verbal strategies, physical means, or other manipulative tactics to pressure a partner to have unwanted sex.
