Getting to Yes

Invent Options For Mutual Growth

- Creative options can make the difference between deadlock and agreement

Talking About Interests

- chance of serving interests improves when communicate them (be specific) - acknowledge their interests & frame as part of the problem your trying to solve - put the problem before your answer: interests & reasoning before concl & proposal - look forward not back: talk about where want to go not what's happened in past - be concrete but flexibly: hv specific options that meet your criteria but be flexble - be hard on the problem, soft on the ppl

Insist On Using Objective Criteria

- deciding on basis of will is costly, use objective criteria - case for objective criteria: principled negotiation produce wise agreements amicably & efficiently: less relationship threat, quicker sol - developing objective criteria - fair standards: need to be independent of each side's will, legitimate & practice. Must apply to both sides - fair procedures: e.g. cake cutting - one cuts & other chooses (biz e.g. mining companies vs. Enterprise), agree visiting rights pre custody battle

Negotiation Jujitsu

- do not push back if criticise/reject principled negotiation - attacks normally manifest in 3 ways i. asserting position forcefully ii. attack your ideas iii. attacking you

Problems With Bargaining Over Positions: Inefficient

- time: take extreme position & hold giving small concessions despite true feelings - effort: many small decisions need to be made on each concessions

What If They Are More Powerful?

-Benefits: a) protects you vs. making agreement you shouldn't b) help you make the most of assets you do hv

Benefits of Good BATNA

-Better BATNA => greater power e.g. salary negotiations w/ a job offer

Negotiation Success (3)

1. Produce wise agreement 2. Be efficient 3. Improve relationships

Interests of Negotiators

1. Substance: wants to reach agreement that satisfies substantive interests 2. Relationship: turn into regular customer, maintain working relationship * Be sure to separate the relationship from substance

Benefit of a 3rd Party Negotiator/Mediator

3rd party mediator can use this to resolve differing positions (example of architect w/ couple designing home) - instead of what you want? why you want? e.g. not bay window but bay window for light and sun - method - list interests & needs of ppl and ask them to criticise the list -iterate - final yes or no

Hard Negotiation

Always want to win, no matter what you have to do. Not willing to give in to the other sides proposal.

How to Define Interests

Ask why? Ask why not? Analyze the consequences

Problems With Bargaining Over Positions: Endangers Relationships

Battle instead of working together jointly to find a solution

BATNA Definition

Best Alternative to Negotiated Agreement

People Problems: Emotion

Feeling may be more than talk

Problems With Bargaining Over Positions: Being Nice= No Answer

Hard beats soft negotiation

Problems With Bargaining Over Positions: Unwise Agreement

Lock yourself into position. The more you defend it, the more you are forced to commit to it.

Problems With Bargaining Over Positions: Others Involvement

Much harder to win bargain/negotiation when more people are involved

Separate the People From the Problem

Negotiators are emotional people first

Principled Negotiation

Neither hard or soft. Decide issues based on merits, look for mutual gains

People Problems: Perception

Other side's thinking is the problem, differences defined by gap between your and their thinking.

People Problems: Communicating

Problems - negotiators won't talk to one another in way to be understood - ppl may not hear you - misunderstanding

Soft Negotiation

Willing to compromise and looks out for the relationship factor when negotiating with the other side.

What If They Wont Play?

a) what you can do? principled negotiation -> contagious b) what they may do? counter with negotiation jujitsu c) 3rd party intro

Common Dirty Tricks

a. Deliberate deception: i. phony facts: unless you hv gd reason to trust someone, don't ii. ambiguous authority: not decision marker therefore find decision maker @ start, if they ask to renegotiate 'agreement' also do so yourself iii. dubious intentions: get contingent agreement (e.g. equity in house if don't pay child maintenance) b. less than full disclosure/deceit c. psych warfare i. stressful situation: physical (heat/cold/seat) say if don't like & offer to swap tomorrow ii. personal attacks: recognise & bring it up iii. gd/bad cop: ask same question to both - why is your offer reasonable? what's the principle? iv. threats: warnings are more effective d. positional pressure tactics - refusal to negotiate: find out why they won't negotiate, discuss principles, offer other channels (3rd party)

How to Negotiate About Rules of the Game

i. recognise tactic ii. raise issue explicitly iii. question tactics legitimacy & desirability