Guys and Dolls Lines - Adelaide
NATHAN: Then why is it such a small State?
Anyway - I wrote her I was married.
NATHAN: Your mother must be a glutton for punishment.
Anyway, Nathan, now we're finally getting married, and it won't be a lie any more.
NATHAN: Our what?
Blood test. It's a law.
NATHAN: I wish I had a bet on it.
But Nathan -- that's not all, Nathan.
NATHAN: Adelaide, how could you do such a thing! To a nice old broad like your mother?
But Nathan, you don't even know my mother!
SKY: You know Nathan. Why does it surprise you?
But he promised to change.
NATHAN: It was a surprise.
But when I saw you standing here with all these - fine gentlemen, I never dreamed it was a bachelor dinner. I thought it was a -
SARAH: Isaiah was an ancient prophet.
Don't tell me. Nobody cries like that over and old guy - Whoever it is, you got it bad. You know, when I saw you with Sky Masterson the other night -- Oh, no! Not Sky! You're not in love with Sky? You poor thing!
NATHAN: Just give me the grand total.
Five.
SARAH: Adelaide - can't men like Sky ever change?
For fourteen years I've tried to change Nathan. I've always thought how wonderful he would be, if he was different.
NATHAN: Well, we need time for a license and our blood test.
Gee, wouldn't it be wonderful if we could be married tomorrow night. Right after the show at the Hot Box.
SARAH: How do you do.
Glad to meet you - You know, Sky, we're eloping tomorrow night right after the Hot Box - Nathan and I.
BRANNIGAN: Indeed! What kind of a party?
Goodbye, girls, see you tomorrow.
NATHAN: And - uh - where is Nathan, Jr., supposed to be now?
He's in boarding school. I wrote Mother he won the football game last Saturday.
NATHAN: Just find out! Now beat it - here comes Adelaide. If she hears I am running the crap game she will never set foot on me again.
Hello, Nathan dear.
NATHAN: I LOVE YOU A BUSHEL AND A PECK - THAT LOUSY JOEY BILTMORE -
Hello, Nathan.
NATHAN: Hello, pie face.
How are you, handsome.
SKY: Look! Why don't you get another guy?
I can't. I love Nathan. Wait till you fall for somebody! You'll find out.
NATHAN: Why would she think a thing like that?
I couldn't be engaged for fourteen years, could I? People don't do that in Rhode Island. They all get married.
SARAH: Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't even get close enough to a church to be left at it - Gee, what'll I ever tell my mother?
NATHAN: Look, you're getting yourself upset - you and I are going to be all right - after all, we love each other, and we're going to get married -
I don't believe you any more.
MIMI: Anybody see an earring out here?
I don't think so.
NATHAN: You told your mother we had a baby?
I had to, Nathan. Mother wouldn't have understood if we hadn't.
NATHAN: A present! For me?
I hope you like it.
NATHAN: Well, of course we're going to, sooner or later.
I know, Nathan -- but I'm starting to worry about Mother.
SARAH: I thought I hated him.
I thought I hated Nathan. I still think I hate him. That's love.
NATHAN: So what did you say to him?
I told him. I says,"I'll meet whoever I want!"
NATHAN: A letter for me? From your mother? Well - "Dear Son Nathan: This is my first letter to you, although you have now been married to my daughter for twelve years. But I feel like I know you from Adelaide's letters, and in my mind's eye I can see you as you go down to work every morning at seven. What a responsibility it must be, to be the assistant manager of an A. & P." I'm not even the manager?
I was going to promote you for Christmas.
NATHAN: Send the telegram and date it back.
I'd better wait until we have five children. It won't take us long.
SARAH: Good evening.
I'm Adelaide, the well known fiancee.
SARAH: Oh, your mother will understand. Just tell her your engagement is broken.
I'm afraid that might confuse her - Maybe I'll tell her Nathan is dead, and then see to it.
NATHAN: But marriage ain't something you jump into like it was a kettle of fish. We ain't ready.
I'm ready, Nathan. What do you think I got in this box? Nathan! What do you think I got in this box?
SARAH: I've thought about Sky that way, too.
I've sat and pictured him by the hour. Nathan - my Nathan - in a little home in the country - happy - Gee, wouldn't it be wonderful!
NATHAN: But it's true. You'll feel better tomorrow; come on, cheer up, honey - Let's see that old smile - That's my girl. See you tomorrow.
It says here - [Adelaide's Lament]
NATHAN: What type baby was it?
It was a boy. I named it after you, Nathan.
NATHAN: "Sally's Wedding Shop." I can't guess.
It's a wedding veil. I've had it for three years. I won't show it to you, because it's bad luck - Would you like to see it?
NATHAN: Sweetheart! Baby! How can you carry on like this over one lousy elopement? Adelaide, please!
It's no use, Nathan. I have succeeded in your not being able to upset me no more. I have got you completely out of my - Oh, Nathan!
NATHAN: How is your cold?
It's the same. So the doctor asked me how long I had had it, and I told him a long time, and I said I thought it was on account of my dancing with hardly any clothes on, which is what I usually wear, so he said to read this book, because he said it might be due to psychology.
NATHAN: Yes, sir! A bachelor dinner.
Just think after fourteen years I'm finally going to become Mrs. Nathan Detroit. Time certainly does fly.
NATHAN: Don't she know I can't have six kids on what they pay me at the A. &. P.? - "I am very proud to have you as a son-in-law. You are a good man and I know you will always take care of Adelaide." I feel like a heel.
Look, Nathan darling, we can still make everything all right. Look - it's not even midnight yet. Five minutes to twelve - let's elope right now.
NATHAN: "I know how hard you have to work to take care of your family - Adelaide and the five children and the one that's on the way."
Mother wanted me to visit her, so I had to tell her that.
NATHAN: Don't worry, honey - one of these days I'll be in the money, and you'll have more mink than a mink.
Nathan darling, I can do without anything just so long as you don't start running the crap game again.
BIG JULE: Which nobody cannot deny.
Nathan darling, I'm so thrilled! Why didn't you tell me?
NATHAN: A book! You're always reading books. You're becoming a regular bookie.
Nathan darling, this is very interesting. The doctor gave it to me. I went to him about my cold.
NATHAN: No, I just don't want your sandwich to get soggy. Fellows -- Why don't you take Adelaide to the drugstore? You see, honey, you've got a cold, and it's across the street, and there're a lot of open manholes around -
Nathan darling, you're so thoughtful. You're just the sweetest person. Goodbye.
NATHAN: Yeah.
Nathan darling. Starting with next week, I'm going to get a raise. So with what I'll be making, I wondered what you would think - maybe we could finally get married.
NATHAN: More strudel than cheesecake. That's great!
Nathan! What is this?
BRANNIGAN: My congratulations too, Nathan. And I only hope there is nothing in heredity.
Nathan, I got so many things to do before we elope. You'll be at the Hot Box tomorrow night?
NATHAN: He's nervous - it's his first wife. Look, Adelaide, I'm expecting a fellow and I know you're hungry -
Nathan, are you trying to get rid of me?
NATHAN: I'm just for instance. There are certain dolls you can almost bet they wouldn't go for certain guys.
Nathan, no matter how terrible a fellow seems, you can never be sure that some girl won't go for him. Take us.
NATHAN: You haven't got that, have you?
Nathan, this is the psychology that tells you why girls do certain kinds of things.
NATHAN: Adelaide, baby! Don't ever do that to me again! I can't stand it. We'll get married. We'll have a home, a little white house with a green fence - just like the Whitney colors.
Nathan, we got to do it soon. I had another letter from my mother today asking a lot of questions. And she put in a letter for you, too.
NICELY: Come on!
Nathan, why can't we elope now?
NATHAN: "Sugar is sweet, and So is jelly, so put this belt around your belly." That's so sweet. Look, honey - about your present. I was going to get you a diamond wrist watch, with a gold band, and two rubies on the side.
Nathan, you shouldn't have.
NATHAN: What a city! First they close my crap game, then they open my veins.
Nathan, you're not planning to run your crap game again?
NATHAN: Because - well, I got to go to a prayer meeting.
Nathan. This is the biggest lie you ever told me.
NATHAN: It's all right - I didn't - I'm sorry.
No, I kinda like it when you forget to give me presents. It makes me feel like we're married.
NATHAN: Adelaide!
Oh! What a coincidence!
NATHAN: I'll have a table reserved and I'll be all dressed up in whatever you elope in.
Oh, Nathan, I'm so happy. I ought to wire my mother. Only what'll I wire her?
HARRY: Nathan, that's a great idea - elope. I'll lend you my getaway car. My Buick -
Oh, Nathan, let's do it.
SKY: How are you, Miss Adelaide?
Oh, fine, Sky. Look! The girls just gave me a kitchen shower. They went to an all night drug store and surprised me with a kitchen shower! Look!
NATHAN: Adelaide, look at me. I'm down on my knees.
Oh, get up. It reminds me of your crap game.
(A passing MALE enters from stage L.1, stops to look at her to flirt, if encouraged -)
Oh, go away!
SKY: No, you were fine.
Oh, golly, I don't know how I'll get home with all this stuff. It was wonderful of you to give it to me. Sky, hello!
[end Adelaide Meets Sarah]
Oh, hello.
NATHAN: Well, don't upset yourself. How's your cold?
Oh, it's much better, thank you - Nathan! Happy Anniversary!
NATHAN: Adelaide, did Nicely explain to you about tonight? I hope you ain't sore about it?
Please! Let us not have a vulgar scene. After all, we are civilized people - we do not have to conduct ourselves like a slob.
NATHAN: A belt!
Read the card!
SARAH: Oh, yes. When are you getting married?
The twelfth of never.
NATHAN: You did, huh?
Uh, huh. Then, after about two years -
NATHAN: Thank you.
You're welcome.
SARAH: You mustn't carry hate in your heart, Miss Adelaide. Try to be forgiving and understanding, and the pain will go away. In the Bible it tells us in Isaiah - Isaiah -- Isaiah -
You've got a boy friend named Isaiah, huh?
NATHAN: Adelaide! What is this? You are my doll.
Your doll! Please, if that weren't so amusing one could laugh at it.
Oh, go away!
[Adelaide Meets Sarah]
SKY: Yeah.
[Adelaide's Second Lament]
MASTER OF CEREMONIES: And now for the Grand Finale of our round the world revue - we take you down on the farm with our star Miss Adelaide and the Hot Box Farmerettes.
[Bushel and a Peck]
NATHAN: But I promise you it's true.
[Sue Me]
M.C.: And now for the feature number of the evening. The Hot Box proudly presents Miss Adelaide and her Debutantes.
[Take Back Your Mink]
NATHAN: Adelaide! Pigeon!
You go ahead, girls. Order me a tuna fish on rye and a chocolate sundae with tomato ketchup and mayonnaise.
NATHAN: Fine. What have you got there?
A book.
NATHAN: Don't tell me he has a little sister.
All those years, Nathan. Mother believes in big families.
NATHAN: It's bad luck.
So you see, Nathan darling, I got the veil. All we need now is our license and our blood test.
SKY: Maybe.
Tell him I never want to talk to him again and have him call me here.
SKY: Good luck.
Thank you, Sky - Gee, I feel just like a housewife, already. I'm going to love being in the kitchen - I've tried all the other rooms.
NATHAN: But I'll be meeting her soon, and what'll I tell her? What'll I tell her I did with the five kids? Traded them to the Phillies or something. What are we going to do?
We could get married.
GIRLS: Okay, Adelaide -
We gotta get back to the Hot Box.
NATHAN: What after about two years?
We had a baby.
NATHAN: Your mother? What about your mother?
Well, Nathan, this is something I never told you before, but my mother, back in Rhode Island -- she thinks we're married already.
SKY: Change, change. Why is it the minute you dolls get a guy that you like, you take him right in for alterations?
What about you men? Why can't you marry people like other people do and live normal like people? Have a home, with - wallpaper, and book ends.
SKY: No, Miss Adelaide.
What do you mean - no?
NATHAN: Oh! - Would it tell you what kind of a doll would go for a certain kind of a guy which you wouldn't think she would do so?
What do you mean?
HARRY: O.K., Detroit.
What was that about?
BENNY: It's a bachelor dinner. Nathan's getting married.
What!
NICELY: Miss Adelaide, Nathan is in Pittsburgh with a rare tropical aunt. Goodbye.
What? I don't understand. Sky, Nathan has to come here tonight. We're eloping to get married. Is it the crap game again?
BRANNIGAN: Tell me, Nathan. When is the happy day?
When will it be, Nathan?
SKY: Guys like Nathan Detroit, and - yeah, Sky Masterson - we don't belong in a life like that. So when dolls get mixed up with guys like us, it's no good. No good - See you in a couple months.
Where you going?
NATHAN: Okay, Adelaide. No, I can't.
Why not?
NATHAN: His wife's having a baby.
Why's he asking you?
SKY: I don't know - Las Vegas, maybe. I got a ticket on the late plane.
Will you see Nathan before you go?
NATHAN: You still rehearsing?
Yeah. That slave driver Charlie - he's been working us all day. Finally I says,"Look, Charlie, I'm starving! I gotta get outa here and get something to eat." And he says,"You don't want to eat. You just want to sneak out and meet that cheap bum, Nathan Detroit!" -
