Hot Dog

This is our menu, I've seen it plenty of times before.

But do you see anything wrong?

A sandwich usually consists of meat, vegetables, and some kind of dressing between bread, right?

Correct.

Okay, maybe I can try reasoning with you.

Do your worst, my day is already ruined.

Hot dog?

Exactly.

But it's listed as one on our menu. If you have a problem with that, you can eat somewhere else.

Fine! I will! But if you're not going to change this atrocity, I'm going to spread the word. This wretched business is going down and your minimum wage job with it!

A frankfurter is meat, relish is made from vegetables, mustard is a dressing, and a bun is bread, so a hot dog does technically fit the definition of a sandwich...

Holy shit, you're even stupider than I thought!

He's not here right now, it's only me working tonight. It's monday after all.

I'm just going to have to tell you then because I'm not letting this go unnoticed.

Welcome to the diner, you can sit wherever you'd-

I'm sitting here.

Okay, yes, you're right. A hot dog is not a sandwich.

In no way, shape, or form.

Uh...

It's a tube! A tube of meat! Not a slice, not a slab, a tube! And those buns? Bread, yes, sandwich bread, no. A sandwich is between two slices of bread. Two! Not one piece of bread bent to hold a tube!

Oh, okay...

Let's see, soups: chicken noodle, minestrone, nah I don't want soup. Salads: Caesar, garden, nah I don't want salad. Sandwiches, yeah I could go for a sandwich. Reuben, B.L.T., turkey club, uh... hot dog. Excuse me? No. this isn't acceptable. Waitress, can you come here please?

Uh, sure, what's the problem?

Look at this please.

Are you ready to order?

No. Quite the opposite really. I have a complaint, may I speak to your manager?

This is just a part-time job to help pay my tuition. I'd like to get back to it now if you don't mind.

Not gonna happen, lady! Your rationalization for listing a hot dog as a sandwich is oversimplifying the matter. A frankfurter is meat, yes, but when you put meat in a sandwich, it is in the form of a slice or slab. And what is a hot dog?

Not really.

Nothing at all?

[Scene]

Oh boy, I can't wait for a delicious meal at the local diner.

I'm still not seeing anything wrong here.

Under the turkey club, what's listed next?

(CUSTOMER sits down. WAITRESS hands him a menu) Our special today is-

Yo, back off, waitress girl, I need to read this.

And? What's the problem?

A hot dog is not a fμcking sandwich!

Sir, it's really not that big of a deal-

A hot dog is not a fμcking sandwich!

You can just order something else-

A hot dog is not a fμcking sandwich! How many times do I have to tell you!

No.

Allow me to help point it out. Look at the sandwich list.

That's just the only place we could fit it on the menu, sir.

And I'm not okay with that. It's wrong, it's sick, and I'm not having it!

I didn't write the menu, sir, I'm just a waitress.

And yet you choose to work here. You could work anywhere and you choose to work at this corrupt institution.

I'm a straight-A college student.

And yet you're working as a waitress. What are you majoring in? Menu inaccuracies?

I'm sorry, sir-

Sorry isn't going to cut it! You act like this is some professional business, some sophisticated diner, and yet you make such a horrendous mistake like this!