Interpersonal Comm - Test 2

Listening

an active, complex process that consists of being mindful, physically receiving messages, selecting and organizing messages, interpreting messages, responding, and remembering

Nonverbal communication is

arbitrary, ambiguous and abstract

Committed

Chris says he loves Betsy, but he's not sure they have a future together. Chris's feelings towards Betsy indicate he loves her but isn't:

-cultural and social expectations -self-protection -protecting others -social and professional roles

Four common reasons people don't communicate their feelings

Selection

Giving priority to one dialectal need and neglecting the other is known as

not talking to someone because you're mad, not having to speak because you're so comfortable with someone, or an awkward silence with two people who don't know each other that well

How can silence show communication?

it can repeat a message (saying "yes" while also shaking your head up and down), it can emphasize particular words by increasing volume, it can complement the message (saying "I'm glad to see you" then giving that person a hug)

How does nonverbal communication enhance verbal communication?

it tends to be more persuasive, is multichanneled, and is continuous

How is nonverbal communication different from verbal communication?

True

True/False: Poor listening is the leading reason that some people don't advance in their career.

obstacles in the communication situation (external) and obstacles in the communicators (internal)

What are the two hindrances to mindful listening?

Controlling communication

attempts to manipulate others; a person insisting their preference should prevail

Spontaneous communication

authentic, open, and honest

Prejudgment

thinking we already know what is going to be said, so we don't fully listen or deciding what someone is about to say is wrong then we eliminate the possibility of learning something new

Listening for information

to gain and evaluate information

Neutralization

to negotiate a balance between two dialectical needs

Certainty communication

using language that is absolute and dogmatic, suggesting there is only one right answer

Novelty vs. Predictability

wanting routine or wanting newness

Selective listening

which involves focusing only on particular parts of communication

Kinesics

refers to body position and body motions, including those of the face

physical appearance

Cosmetic surgery and eating disorders are associated with ______, one type of nonverbal behavior

noise

During a student speech, the campus landscapers begin mowing the lawn, making the student's presentation difficult to hear. The audience is experiencing _____, one of the several listening obstacles.

False

Emotional intelligence is the ability to listen supportively when other people share their feelings

Honor one need and ignore the other

Research indicates that in general the LEAST effective and LEAST satisfying response to tension generated by relational dialectics is to

Organismic

The ___________ view of emotions posits this model: stimulus > physiological response > emotion

Empathy

The counterpoint to neutrality is:

Endorsement

The strongest level of confirmation is:

False

True/False: Happy and confirming relationship should feature openness rather than closedness

false

True/False: Maintaining direct eye contact is a sign of respect and attentiveness around the world

False

True/False: Most relationships are either fully confirming or fully disconfirming, and few relationships fall in between

True

True/False: Of the many influences that shape relationships, four are particularly critical for building and sustaining satisfying personal relationships: investment, commitment, Trust, and comfort with relational dialectics

True

True/False: People with high status or power tent to touch other and invade others' space more than people with less power or status

True

True/False: According to John Gottman, the "magic ratio" for a happy relationship is to have at least 5 pleasant interactions for every 1 unpleasant interaction.

False (nonverbal communication is considered more believable)

True/False: Both verbal and nonverbal communication are equally believable?

Reframing

a complex and transformative strategy in which partners redefine contradictory needs as not in opposition

Commitment

a decision to remain in a relationship

Paraphrasing

a method of clarifying others' meaning or needs by reflecting our interpretations of their communication back to them

Hearing

a physiological activity that occurs when sound waves hit our eardrums

Nonverbal communication

all aspects of communication other than words. It includes gestures, body language, inflection of voice, pauses, tone, volume, and accent

Immediacy

behavior that increases perceptions of closeness between communicators

Mindfulness

being fully present in the moment

Autonomy vs. Connection

being independent or being close

Assertion

clearly and nonjudgmentally stating what you feel, need, or want

Responding

communicating attention and interest

Provisionalism

communication that is open to other points of view, suggesting that our minds aren't sealed

Paralanguage

communication that is vocal but does not use words (ex: murmurs, volume, pitch)

Self talk

communication with ourselves

Empathetic communication

confirms the worth of others and our concern for them

Monopolizing

continuously focusing communication on ourselves instead of listening to the person who is talking

Strategic communication

contrived and devious

Superiority communication

conveys "I'm better than you,' belittles others and therefore closes them off

Descriptive communication

describes behaviors without passing judgment

Organismic view of emotions

early theorists' belief that we experience emotion when external stimuli causes physiological changes in us

Environmental factors

elements of setting that affect how we feel and act

Evaluative communication

evokes defensiveness

Equality communication

fosters a confirming climate that makes people feel comfortable and relaxed

Endorsement

involves accepting another's feelings or thoughts

Trust

involves believing in another's reliability

Listening for pleasure

listening that doesn't require us to remember or respond to communication, just be mindful and control distractions

Message complexity

messages that are dense with information may be better retained by taking notes or organizing material

Noise

music or television in the background, beeping or vibrating, traffic sounds, anything that may be distracting to the communication

Neutral communication

often interpreted as a lack of regard and caring for others; making others feel unvalidated

Pseudolistening

pretending to listen

Three relationship-levels of immediacy

responsiveness, liking, and power

Chilling effect

restrain expression of feelings, particularly negative ones

Immediacy behaviors

smiling, making eye contact, head nodding, and attentive posture

Example of superiority communication

"I really know a lot more about this than you do, so you should listen to me."

takes responsibility

"I" language does what?

Example of rule framing

"Memorial Day parades are patriotic, yet sad events," is an:

Examples of counterfeit emotional language

"Stop bothering me" and "I feel we should work as a team" are:

accusatory

"You" language is what?

True

True/False: We are more likely to communicate socially inappropriate feelings when we are anonymous online

Separation

assigning one dialectical need to certain spheres

Fear of catastrophic expectations

Morgan does not want to take chemistry, because he knows he will fail the class even before taking the course. In addition, he believes that if he takes the course, he won't make any friends in the class. Morgan is suffering from which fallacy

True

Most people feel defensive when others use neutral, rather than empathetic, communication with them

Surface acting

involves controlling the outward expression of emotions rather than controlling feelings

Deep acting

involves learning what they should and should not feel

Literal listening

involves listening only for content and ignoring the relationship level of meaning

Defensive listening

perceived personal attacks, criticism, or hostility in communication that is not critical or mean-spirited; assuming others don't like or respect us and read these motives into whatever they say

Artifacts

personal objects we use to announce our identities and heritage to personalize our environments

Remembering

the process of retaining what you have heard

Rational-emotive approach to feelings

the relationship between thoughts and feelings

Haptics

the sense of touch

Autonomy/Connection

According to relationships counselors, the most central and continuous tension in the majority of close relationships arises from which of the following dialectical tensions:

they both are symbolic, rule-guided, intentional or unintentional, and they reflect culture

How is verbal and nonverbal communication similar?

learned in the process of being socialized within a particular culture

If not nonverbal communication is not instinctual, then what is it?

artifacts

In Bruno's car, he has many bumper stickers and several souvenirs from all the roadtrips he has made in that car. What are Bruno's personal items examples of?

silence

In some military academies, such as West Point, using _______ is a recognized method of stripping a cadet of personhood if he or she is perceived as having broken the academy code.

65-93%

It is estimated that nonverbal communication accounts for what percentage of the total meaning in interpersonal communication?

think what we are feeling is inappropriate

We are most likely to engage in emotion work when we:

Physical appearance

Western culture particularly places a lot of emphasis on this; therefore, we make initial evaluations of a person based on this

cultural values

What does nonverbal communication reflect and express?

being mindful

While listening to the lecture, Carlos begins to think about the things he needs to do after class, but stops himself and consciously focuses on the information being presented in the lecture and takes in as much as he can. This is an example of

Counterfeit emotional language

language that seems to express emotions but does not actually describe what a person is feeling

Ambushing

listening carefully for the purpose of attacking a speaker

Relational dialects

opposing forces, or tensions, that are continuous and normal in personal relationships

Emotions

our experience and interpretation of internal sensations as they shaped by physiology, perceptions, language, and social experiences

Minimal encouragers

people who gently invite others to elaborate by expressing interest in hearing more

Message overload

receiving large amounts of information on a typical day so you are forced to decide when to listen carefully and when to attend more superficially

Chronemics

refers to how we perceive and use time

Proxemics

refers to the space around us and how we use it

Feeling rules

tell us what we have a right to feel or what we are expected to feel in particular situations

Problem-oriented communication

tends to cultivate supportive, confirming communication climates

Recognition

that another person exists

Emotional intelligence

the ability to recognize feelings, to judge with feelings are appropriate in which situations, and to communicate those feelings effectively

Ethnocentrism

the assumption that our culture and its norms are the only right ones

Emotion work

the effort to generate what we think are appropriate feelings in particular situations

Framing rules

the emotional meaning of situations

The perceptual view of emotions

the idea that subjective perceptions shapes what external phenomena mean to us; physiological reactions have no meaning until we give significance to the (ex: trembling hands meaning anxious or nervous)

Cognitive labeling view of emotions

the idea that what we feel may be shaped by how we label our physiological responses (ex: if you feel your stomach drop when you see a bad grade, you can attribute that to anxiety)

Self-disclosure

the intentional revelation of personal information about ourselves that others are unlikely to discover in other ways

Interpreting others' communication

the most important principle for effective interpretation is to be person-centered so that you understand another person's perspective on his/her terms

Communication climate

the overall feeling or emotional mood between people -- warm or cold, safe or anxious, accepting or rejecting, open or guarded -- that is shaped by verbal and nonverbal interaction between people

Openness vs. Closedness

wanting open communication or wanting privacy

Acknowledgement

what another person feels, thinks, or says

Investments

what we put into relationships what we could not retrieve if they relationship to end

Preoccupation

when we are absorbed in our own thoughts and concerns and not focused on the message at hand

listening to support others

when we listen to a friend's worries, hear a romantic partner discuss the relationship, or help a coworker sort through a problem