interpersonal exam 3

Independent couples

see themselves as being independent of social expectations for marriage. They don't necessarily believe in conventional gender roles or divisions of labor, so the wife might support the family financially while the husband stays home with the children. Although these couples consider themselves to be independent of cultural norms, they are highly interdependent. As a result, they engage in conflict when it arises.

infidelity

sexual involvement with someone other than one's romantic partner

peer

someone of similar power or status to oneself

principle of least interest

states that the partner who is less invested in the relationship is the more powerful partner, because he or she has less to lose by leaving the relationship

defensive behaviors

tactics that cast the self as a victim and deny responsibility for one's own role in a conflict "it's not fair" "it's not my fault"

traditional couples

take a culturally conventional approach to marriage. They believe in gender-typical divisions of labor in which wives are in charge of housework and childrearing and husbands are responsible for home repair and auto maintenance. When conflict arises, spouses in ________ engage in it rather than avoid it

Validating couples

talk about their disagreements openly and cooperatively. In such couples, spouses communicate respect for each other's opinions even when they disagree with them. They stay calm, even when discussing hotly contested topics. They also use humor and expressions of positive emotion to defuse the tension that conflict can create

relational dimension

the ___ ____ of a conflict consists of the implications the conflict has for the relationship

content dimension

the _____ _____ of a conflict is the specific topic about which people disagree

power

the ability to manipulate, influence, or control other people or events

investment

the commitment of resources in our relationships

motivation impairment

a hypothesis that motivation to succeed in a high-stakes lie will impair a deceiver's nonverbal performance, making the lie less likely to be believed

punctuation

Beth & Bo attend a community event. Beth talked with many different people at the event. Bo engaged in only a few interactions with others and kept to himself most of the time. After leaving the event, Beth and Bo argued. Bo complained that he did not talk with other people because Beth ignored him. Beth said she socialized with others because Bo seemed to want to be by himself. They each claim that the other person prompted his/her behavior. As described, Beth and Bo's disagreement results from

reframing

changing the way you think about an interpersonal situation

approach behaviors

communication behaviors that signal one's interest in getting to know someone

social exchange theory

This theory assumes people's decision-making about relationships can be explained using a rational, economic model based on costs and rewards.

interactive context

a context for communicating in which participants can see and/or hear each other and react to each other in real time (for example, face-to-face conversation, telephone conversation)

non-interactive context

a context for communicating in which the participants cannot react to each other in real time (for example, a voice mail message, an e-mail message)

commitment

a desire to stay in a relationship

equivocation

a form of deception that involves giving vague, ambiguous answers to a question to create the false impression that one has answered it

exaggeration

a form of deception that involves inflating or overstating facts

omission

a form of deception that involves leaving consequential details out of one's story

falsification

a form of deception that involves presenting false, fabricated information as though it were true

avoidance behaviors

communication behaviors that signal one's lack of interest in getting to know someone

passive aggression

a pattern of behaving vengefully while denying that one has aggressive feelings Chelsea, who becomes irritated when her bf answers his cell phone whenever it rings, even while they're out to dinner. Instead of telling him how she feels, she expresses her irritation passively by sometimes failing to answer the phone when he calls. She then calls him back later and claims she hadn't heard the phone ring. Chelsea avoids conflict by behaving aggressively, but in a seemingly innocent manner.

demand-withdraw pattern

a pattern of behavior in which one party makes demands and the other party withdraws from the conversation "We need to talk about the problems in our relationship." "I don't want to talk about it."

comparison level for alternatives

a person's assessment of how good or bad his or her current relationship is, compared with other options

comparison level

a person's realistic expectation of what the person wants and thinks he or she deserves from a relationship

polygamy

a practice in which one person is married to two or more spouses at the same time

symmetrical relationship

a relationship between parties of equal power

complementary relationship

a relationship between parties of unequal power

patriarchy

a social system in which mean exercise a majority of the power

terminating stage

a stage of relationship dissolution when the relationship is deemed to be officially over

interdependence

a state in which each person's behaviors affect everyone else in the relationship

compromising

a strategy for managing conflict in which both parties give up something they want so that both can receive something they want

competing

a strategy for managing conflict in which one's goal is to win while the other party loses

accommodating

a strategy for managing conflict that involves giving in to the other party's needs and desires while subordinating one's own

avoiding

a strategy for managing conflict that involves ignoring or failing to deal with the conflict

collaborating

a strategy for managing conflict that involves working toward a solution that meets both parties' needs

equity theory

a theory predicting that a good relationship is one in which a person's ratio of costs and rewards is equal to that of the person's partner

social exchange theory

a theory predicting that people seek to form and maintain relationships in which the benefits outweigh the costs

predicted outcome value theory

a theory predicting that we form relationships when we think the effort will be worth it

uncertainty reduction theory

a theory suggesting that people are motivated to reduce their uncertainty about others it also suggests that the less uncertain you are about a person, the more you will like them.

need to belong theory

a theory that says each of us is born with a fundamental drive to seek, form, maintain, and protect strong relationships

one-down message

a verbal message that reflects acceptance of, or submission to, another person's power "whatever you'd like is fine with me"

one-across message

a verbal message that seeks to neutralize relational control and power "there are many brands to choose from"

one-up message

a verbal message through which the speaker attempts to exert dominance or gain control over the listener "stop making so much noise"

reduction theory

according to uncertainty reduction theory, as uncertainty about a person goes down, liking for that person goes up

Volatile couples

also talk about their disagreements openly, but in a way that is competitive rather than cooperative. That is, each spouse tries to persuade the other to adopt his or her point of view. Conflicts in such couples tend to be marked with expressions of negative rather than positive emotion. However, those conflicts are often followed by intense periods of affection and "making up"

interpersonal conflict

an expressed struggle between interdependent parties who perceive incompatible goals, scarce resources, and interference from one another

direct conflict

an open, straightforward approach to engaging in conflict

interpersonal attraction

any force that draws people together to form a relationship

Separate couples

are similar to couples in traditional marriages except that the spouses are autonomous rather than interdependent. They often have their own interests and social networks, and they think of themselves as separate individuals rather than as one couple. Because of their lack of interdependence, spouses in _________ generally don't engage in conflict. Even when they disagree, they tend to ignore conflict rather than deal with it directly

task attraction give an example.

attraction to someone's abilities and dependability You might feel positively toward your co-worker because he shows up on time every day, rain or shine

social attraction give an example.

attraction to someone's personality For example, you might like your new neighbor because of his positive attitudes.

physical attraction

attraction to someone's physical appearance

relational maintenance behaviors

behaviors used to maintain and strengthen personal relationships the concept: explains how we maintain relationships, not why we choose them.

monogamy

being in only one romantic relationship at a time and avoiding romantic or sexual involvement with others outside the relationship

dialectical tensions

conflicts between two important but opposing needs or desires

Mixed couples

couples in which the two spouses have differing beliefs about their marriage

Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse

criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling

Conflict-avoiding couples

deal with their disagreements indirectly rather than openly. To avoid discomfort of engaging in conflict directly, these couples try to defuse negative emotion and focus on their similarities. They feel there is little to be gained by engaging in conflict directly, believing that most problems will resolve themselves. They often "agree to disagree," a tactic that allows them to sidestep conflict but that can leave their points of disagreement unresolved.

There are 2 forms where sexual harassment can occur..

quid pro quo: happens when a supervisor offers an employee rewards in exchange for sexual favors hostile work environment: occurs when work conditions are sexual offensive or intimidating.

Hostile couples

experience frequent and intense conflict. During conflict episodes, hostile couples use negative emotion displays, such as harsh tones of voice and facial expressions of anger or frustration. They also engage in personal attacks that includes insults, sarcasm, name calling, blaming, and other forms of criticism

acts of simulation

forms of deception that involve fabricating information or exaggerating facts for the purpose of misleading others

acts of dissimulation

forms of deception that involve omitting certain details that would change the nature of the story if they were known

conflict of interest

in which your personal and professional motivations contradict each other

social dimension

is your personal relationship with the co-worker

task dimension

is your profession relationship

rituals

receptive behaviors that have special meaning for a group or relationship

upward communication

messages sent to people at higher levels of an organization, such as superiors

downward communication

messages sent to people at lower levels of an organization, such as subordinates

lateral communication

messages sent to people at the same level of an organization, such as co-workers or peers.

legitimate power

power based on one's legitimate status or position

coercive power

power based on the ability to punish

referent power

power that derives from one's attraction to or admiration for another

expert power

power that derives from one's expertise, talent, training, specialized knowledge, or experience

reward power

power that derives from the ability to reward

criticism

the expression of complaints about another party

indirect conflict

the expression of conflict through negative behaviors that ignore the underlying disagreement

contemptuous behaviors

the expression of insults and attacks on another's self-worth "you stupid idiot"

Family of origin

the family in which one grows up (often consisting of one's parents and siblings)

family of procreation

the family one starts as an adult (often consisting of one's spouse and children)

deception

the knowing and intentional transmission of information to create a false belief in the hearer

divorce

the legal termination of marriage

integrating stage

the stage of relationship development when a deep commitment has formed, and there is a strong sense that the relationship has its own identity

experimenting stage

the stage of relationship development when individuals have conversations to learn more about each other

intensifying stage

the stage of relationship development when individuals move from being acquaintances to being close friends

initiating stage

the stage of relationship development when people meet and interact for the first time

bonding stage

the stage of relationship development when people publicly announce their commitment to each other

circumscribing stage

the stage of relationship dissolution characterized by decreased quality and quantity of communication between partners

stagnating stage

the stage of relationship dissolution when partners are barely communicating with each other

differentiating stage

the stage of relationship dissolution when partners begin to see their differences as undesirable or annoying

avoiding stage

the stage of relationship dissolution when partners create a physical and emotional distance between each other

under-benefitted

the state in which one's relational costs exceed one's relational rewards

over-benefited

the state in which one's relational rewards exceed one's relational costs

truth bias

the tendency to believe what someone says, in the absence of a reason not to

disinhibition effect

the tendency to say or do things in one environment (such as online) that one would not say or do in most other environments online conflict frequently leads to flaming, which is the exchange of hostile and insulting messages

Communication Privacy Management (CPM) theory

theory that explains how people manage the tension between privacy and disclosure. ______ maintains that Kali and Neal jointly own the information about their problems. This information belongs to them, and so they must decide whether to keep it to themselves or share it with others.

stonewalling

withdrawing from a conversation or an interaction