Interplay - Chapter 7: Listening - Receiving and Responding

What are the five (5) components of listening?

1. Hearing 2. Attending 3. Understanding 4. Remembering 5. Responding

What are some challenges of listening? (Hint: There are 3 overarching statements in the textbook)

1. Listening is not easy - information overload - personal concerns - rapid thought - noise 2. All listeners do not receive the same message. 3. Poor listening habits

What are some example of poor listening habits? (Hint: There are 7 poor listening habits stated in the textbook)

1. Pseudolistening 2. Stage Hogging 3. Selective Listening 4. Filling in Gaps 5. Insulated Listening 6. Defensive Listening 7. Ambushing

What are the four (4) listening styles?

1. Task-Oriented Listening 2. Relational Listening 3. Analytical Listening 4. Critical Listening

Remembering

Ability to recall information once we've understood it. - function of several factors: the number of times the information is heard or repeated, how much in there is to store in the brain, and whether the information may be rehearsed or not. - people only remember about half of what they hear immediately after hearing it

Pseudolistening

An imitation of the real thing. - pseudolisteners pretend to pay attention Example of poor listening habits.

Paraphrasing

Feedback that restates, in your own words, the message you thought the speaker sent. - there is a difference between paraphrasing factual information and paraphrasing personal information Three (3) Approaches: 1. Change the speaker's wording 2. Offer an example of what you think the speaker is talking about 3. Reflect the underlying theme of the speaker's remarks

What are the eight (8) types of listening responses?

From (more reflective, less directive) to (less reflective, more directive): 1. Silent Listening 2. Questioning 3. Paraphrasing 4. Empathizing 5. Supporting 6. Analyzing 7. Evaluating 8. Advising

Mindful Listening

Giving careful and thoughtful attention and responses to the messages we receive.

Analytical Listening

Most concerned about attending to the full message before coming to judgement. - people who want to hear details and analyze an issue from a variety of perspectives - tendency to engage in systematic thinking - can be a big help when the goal is to assess the quality of ideas and when there is value in looking at issues from a wide range of perspectives - valuable when the issues at hand are complicated Con: - thorough approach can be time consuming and impractical when a deadline is fast-approaching

Relational Listening

Most concerned with building emotional closeness with others. - people who are typically extroverted, attentive, and friendly - aim to understand how others feel, are aware of their emotions, and are highly responsive to those individuals - usually nonjudgmental - more interested in understanding and supporting people than in evaluating and controlling them Cons: - easy to become overly involved - may lose ability to objectively assess the quality of info others give them in an effort to be congenial and supportive - less relationally oriented communicators may view them as overly expressive and even intrusive

Task-Oriented Listening

Most concerned with efficiency and accomplishing the job at hand. - people who see time as scarce and valuable, and they often grow irritated when they believe others are wasting it. - most appropriate when the primary focus is taking care of business. Cons: - task orientation may alienate others when it seems to ignore their feelings - people with a different temperament may no appreciate a non-nonsense, task-oriented approach - focus on getting things done quickly may come at the expense of thoughtful deliberation and consideration - emotional issues and concerns that are so important to many business and and personal transactions may be minimized by task-oriented listeners

Critical Listening

Most concerned with evaluating messages - may or may not apply the tools of analytical listening - they go beyond trying to understand the topic at hand and try to assess its quality - tend to focus on the accuracy and consistency of a message - especially helpful when the goal is to investigate a problem Con: - can frustrate others who may think that they nitpick everything others say

Questioning

Occurs when the listener asks the speaker for additional information. Several reason to ask sincere, nondirective questions: - to clarify meanings - to learn about others' thoughts, feelings, and wants - to encourage elaboration - to encourage discovery - to gather more facts and details

Mindless Listening

Occurs when we react to others' messages automatically and routinely, without much mental investment. superficial, cursory

Understanding

Paying close attention to a message doesn't guarantee that you'll understand what's being sad. Several elements affect understanding: knowledge of syntactic and grammatical rules of the language, knowledge about the source, awareness of context, etc.

Sincere Questions

Questions aimed at understanding others.

Open Questions

Questions that allow a variety of extended responses. - Cannot be answered with a simple "yes" or "no" Examples: Why? How come?

Counterfeit Questions

Questions that are really disguised attempts to send a message, not receive one. Questions that... - trap the speaker - make statements - carry a hidden agenda - seek "correct" answers - are based on unchecked assumptions

Closed Questions

Questions that only allow a limited range of answers. - questions that only require a "yes" or a "no"

Empathizing

Response style listeners use when they want to show that they identify with a speaker. - an expression of affection, it communicates validation and a sense of worth to the message-sender Examples of Non-Empathizing Listening Behavior: - denying others the right to their feelings - minimizing the significance of the situation - focus on yourself - raining on the speaker's parade

Evaluating

Response that appraises the sender's thoughts or behaviors in some way.

Supporting

Responses that reveal the listener's solidarity with the speaker's situation. Types of supportive responses: - agreement - offers to help - praise - reassurance - diversion Conditions where supporting can be beneficial: - make sure our expression of support is sincere - be sure the other person can accept your support - focus on "here and now" rather than "then and there" - make sure you're ready for the consequences

Listening Fidelity

The degree of congruence between what a listener understands and what the message sender was attempting to communicate. - fidelity doesn't mean agreement

Responding

The only external activity of the components of listening. The process of giving observable feedback to the speaker.

Insulated Listening

The opposite of selective listening. Instead of looking for something, these listeners avoid id. - whenever a topic arises that they'd rather not deal with, insulated listeners simply fail to hear or acknowledge it Example of poor listening habit.

Hearing

The physiological process in which sound waves strike the eardrum and cause vibrations that are transmitted to the brain.

Listening

The process of receiving and responding to others' messages.

Attending

The psychological process that is a part of the process of selection. - We attend most carefully to messages when there's a payoff for doing so. - some people suffer from a physiological syndrome called nonverbal learning disorder which makes it difficult to make sense of nonverbal cues - one way to attend better to important messages is to screen out distractions

Advising

When approached with another's problem, the most common reaction is advising. - even though advice might be just what a person needs, there are several reasons why it often isn't helpful Important considerations when trying to help others: - Is the advice needed? - Is the advice wanted? - Is the advice given in the right sequence? - Is the advice coming from an expert? - Is the advisor a close and trusted person? - Is the advice offered in a sensitive, face-saving manner?

Silent Listening

When one stays attentive and nonverbally responsive without offering any verbal feedback. - not just an avoidance strategy - appropriate when a response would be considered disruptive - can help others solve their problems

Filling In Gaps

When people like to think that what they remember makes a whole story. - tends to manufacture information so that when they retell the story, they give the impression that they got it all - original message becomes distorted Example of poor listening habits.

Selective Listening

When people respond only to the parts of a speaker's remarks that interest them, rejecting everything else. Example of poor listening habits.

Stage Hogging

When someone is interested only in expressing their ideas and don't care about what anyone else has to say. - conversational narcissism - asks counterfeit questions to demonstrate their superiority and hold the floor Example of poor listening habit.

Defensive Listening

When someone takes innocent comments as personal attacks. - people who tend to suffer from shaky self-images and avoid facing this by projecting their own insecurities onto others Example of poor listening habits.

Ambushing

When someone will listen careful to you but only because he.she is collecting information that will be used to attack what you have to say. Example of poor listening habits.

Analyzing

When the listener offers an interpretation of a speaker's message. - can create more problems than it solves Situations when it's helpful to offer an analysis: - offer your interpretation in a tentative way rather than as absolute fact - your analysis ought to have a reasonable chance of being correct - make sure that the other person will be receptive to your analysis - be sure that your motive for offering an analysis is to truly help the other person