last one!!! Who said what
1. Superficial 2. Personal 3. Validating
3 kinds of communication levels
1. Refusing to communicate 2. communicating in an aggressive way 3. Masking feelings behind intellectual analysis, projecting them onto the receiving partner and, in general, failing to be up front and straight-forward about what is actually felt and thought
3 most common communication barriers
1. Pay an honest tithe 2. Live on less than you earn 3. Learn to distinguish between needs and wants 4. Develop and live within a budget 5. Be honest in all your financial affairs
5 principles of economic constancy (tanner)
1. When was the last time I sincerely praised my companion, either alone or in the presence of our children? 2. When was the last time I thanked, expressed love for, or earnestly pleaded in faith for him or her in prayer? 3.When was the last time I stopped myself from saying something I knew could be hurtful? 4. When was the last time I apologized and humbly asked for forgiveness--without adding the words "but if only you had" or "but if only you hadn't"? 5. When was the last time I chose to be happy rather than demanding to be "right"?
5 questions to ask in marriage
Know ye not, my son, that these things are an abomination in the sight of the Lord; yea, most abominable above all sins save it be the shedding of innocent blood or denying the Holy Ghost? For behold, if ye deny the Holy Ghost when it once has had place in you, and ye know that ye deny it, behold, this is a sin which is unpardonable; yea, and whosoever murdereth against the light and knowledge of God, it is not easy for him to obtain forgiveness; yea, I say unto you, my son, that it is not easy for him to obtain a forgiveness.
Alma 39:5-6
1. Express love and show it 2. Bear testimony and live it 3. Be consistent
Bednar's suggestions for a happy family
Discipline should always be with love.
Ben B. Banks
If you are ever called upon to chasten a person, never chasten beyond the balm you have within you to bind up
Brigham Young
Properly understood, the scriptures and the prophets counsel us to be virtuous not because romantic love is bad, but precisely because romantic love is so good. It is not only good it is pure and precious even sacred and holy.
Bruce C. Hafen
Well, do you want a wife? Do you want anything that's right and proper? You go to work, and you use the agency and power and ability that God has given you. You use every faculty, you get all the judgment that you can centered on the problem, you make up your own mind, and then to be sure that you don't err, you counsel with the Lord. You talk it over. You say, 'This is what I think; what do you think?' And if you get the calm, sweet surety that comes only from the Holy Spirit, you know you've reached the right conclusion; but if there's anxiety and uncertainty in your heart, then you'd better start over, because the Lord's hand is not in it, and you're not getting the ratifying seal that, as a member of the Church who has the gift of the Holy Ghost, you are entitled to receive.
Bruce R. McConkie
agape
Christlike love
25 And again, inasmuch as parents have children in Zion, or in any of her stakes which are organized, that teach them not to understand the doctrine of repentance, faith in Christ the Son of the living God, and of baptism and the gift of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of the hands, when eight years old, the sin be upon the heads of the parents. 26 For this shall be a law unto the inhabitants of Zion, or in any of her stakes which are organized.
D&C 68
A robust freedom is not merely what political philosophers have referred to as the 'negative' freedom to be left alone, however important that may be. Rather, it is a much richer 'positive' freedom—the freedom to live one's religion or belief in a legal, political, and social environment that is tolerant, respectful, and accommodating of diverse beliefs.
D. Todd Christoffereson
"... When a choice will make a real difference in our lives—obvious or not—and when we are living in tune with the Spirit and seeking his guidance, we can be sure we will receive the guidance we need to attain our goal"
Dallin H. Oaks
"For persons who believe in absolute truth, tolerance for behavior is like a two-sided coin. Tolerance, or respect, is on one side of the coin, but truth is always on the other. You cannot possess or use the coin of tolerance without being conscious of both sides."
Dallin H. Oaks
Finally, it is important not to label even intensive or habitual use of pornography as an addiction because that does not accurately describe the circumstances or the full nature of the required repentance and recovery.
Dallin H. Oaks
First, the deeper the level of involvement one engages in--from inadvertent exposure, to occasional or repeated intentional use, to intensive use, to compulsive (addictive) use--the more difficult it is to recover.
Dallin H. Oaks
First, when believers in Jesus Christ take their views of truth into the public square, they must seek the inspiration of the Lord to be selective and wise in choosing which true principles they seek to promote by law or executive action. Generally, they should refrain from seeking laws or administrative action to facilitate beliefs that are distinctive to believers, such as the enforcement of acts of worship, even by implication. Believers can be less cautious in seeking government action that would serve principles broader than merely facilitating the practice of their beliefs, such as laws concerning public health, safety, and morals.
Dallin H. Oaks
Fourth, believers should not shrink from seeking laws to maintain public conditions or policies that assist them in practicing the requirements of their faith where those conditions or policies are also favorable to the public health, safety, or morals. For example, even though religious beliefs are behind many criminal laws, and some family laws, such laws have a long-standing history of appropriateness in democratic societies. But where believers are in the majority, they should always be sensitive to the views of the minority.
Dallin H. Oaks
If we say we are anti-abortion in our personal life but pro-choice in public policy, we are saying that we will not use our influence to establish public policies that encourage righteous choices on matters God's servants have defined as serious sins. I urge Latter-day Saints who have taken that position to ask themselves which other grievous sins should be decriminalized or smiled on by the law due to this theory that persons should not be hampered in their choices. Should we decriminalize or lighten the legal consequences of child abuse? of cruelty to animals? of pollution? of fraud? of fathers who choose to abandon their families for greater freedom or convenience?
Dallin H. Oaks
Second, as with any sinful behavior, willful use of pornography drives away the Holy Ghost.
Dallin H. Oaks
Second, when believers seek to promote their positions in the public square, their methods and their advocacy should always be tolerant of the opinions and positions of others who do not share their beliefs. We should not add to the extremism that divides our society. As believers, we must always speak with love and show patience, understanding, and compassion toward our adversaries.
Dallin H. Oaks
The number of those who report that their "whole family usually eats dinner together" has declined 33 percent. This is most concerning because the time a family spends together "eating meals at home [is] the strongest predictor of children's academic achievement and psychological adjustment." Family mealtimes have also been shown to be a strong bulwark against children's smoking, drinking, or using drugs. There is inspired wisdom in this advice to parents: what your children really want for dinner is you.
Dallin H. Oaks
The personal line is of paramount importance in personal decisions and in the governance of the family. Unfortunately, some members of our church underestimate the need for this direct, personal line. Responding to the undoubted importance of prophetic leadership—the priesthood line, which operates principally to govern heavenly communications on Church matters—some seek to have their priesthood leaders make personal decisions for them, decisions they should make for themselves by inspiration through their personal line. Personal decisions and family governance are principally a matter for the personal line...
Dallin H. Oaks
Third, believers should not be deterred by the familiar charge that they are trying to legislate morality. Many areas of the law are based on Judeo-Christian morality and have been for centuries. Our civilization is based on morality and cannot exist without it. As John Adams declared: "Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other."
Dallin H. Oaks
We must use both the personal line and the priesthood line in proper balance to achieve the growth that is the purpose of mortal life. If personal religious practice relies too much on the personal line, individualism erases the importance of divine authority. If personal religious practice relies too much on the priesthood line, individual growth suffers. The children of God need both lines to achieve their eternal destiny. The restored gospel teaches both, and the restored Church provides both
Dallin H. Oaks
"[Sexual relations] are in mortality one of the ultimate expressions of our divine nature and potential and a way of strengthening emotional and spiritual bonds between husband and wife"
David A. Bednar
As our sons were growing up, our family did what you have done and what you now do. We had regular family prayer, scripture study, and family home evening. Now, I am sure what I am about to describe has never occurred in your home, but it did in ours. Sometimes Sister Bednar and I wondered if our efforts to do these spiritually essential things were worthwhile. Now and then verses of scripture were read amid outbursts such as "He's touching me!" "Make him stop looking at me!" "Mom, he's breathing my air!" Sincere prayers occasionally were interrupted with giggling and poking. And with active, rambunctious boys, family home evening lessons did not always produce high levels of edification. At times Sister Bednar and I were exasperated because the righteous habits we worked so hard to foster did not seem to yield immediately the spiritual results we wanted and expected.
David A. Bednar
Parents should be vigilant and spiritually attentive to spontaneously occurring opportunities to bear testimony to their children. Such occasions need not be programmed, scheduled, or scripted. In fact, the less regimented such testimony sharing is, the greater the likelihood for edification and lasting impact. ... "For example, a naturally occurring family conversation at dinner may be the perfect setting for a parent to recount and testify of specific blessings he or she received during the course of relatively routine activities that day
David A. Bednar
Today if you could ask our adult sons what they remember about family prayer, scripture study, and family home evening, I believe I know how they would answer. They likely would not identify a particular prayer or a specific instance of scripture study or an especially meaningful family home evening lesson as the defining moment in their spiritual development. What they would say they remember is that as a family we were consistent.
David A. Bednar
We also can become more diligent and concerned at home by bearing testimony to those whom we love about the things we know to be true by the witness of the Holy Ghost. The bearing of testimony need not be lengthy or eloquent. And we do not need to wait until the first Sunday of the month to declare our witness of things that are true. Within the walls of our own homes, we can and should bear pure testimony of the divinity and reality of the Father and the Son, of the great plan of happiness, and of the Restoration. Brethren and sisters, when was the last time you bore testimony to your eternal companion? Parents, when was the last time you declared your witness to your children about the things you know to be true? And children, when was the last time you shared your testimony with your parents and family?
David A. Bednar
We can begin to become more diligent and concerned at home by telling the people we love that we love them. Such expressions do not need to be flowery or lengthy. We simply should sincerely and frequently express love. Brethren and sisters, when was the last time you took your eternal companion in your arms and said, "I love you"? Parents, when was the last time you sincerely expressed love to your children? Children, when was the last time you told your parents that you love them?
David A. Bednar
"Like two sides of a coin, the temporal and spiritual are inseparable."
Dieter F. Uchtdorf
"Strained and broken relationships are as old as humankind itself. ... I imagine that every person on earth has been affected in some way by the destructive spirit of contention, resentment, and revenge. Perhaps there are even times when we recognize this spirit in ourselves."
Dieter F. Uchtdorf
1. The doctrine of the soul. 2. Intimacy is a symbol of total Union, intended to unite a husband and wife. 3. Intimacy provides us access to the sacred creative power given by God.
Elder Holland's why's for chastity
Evidence defies the deceptive notion, prevalent in society, that marriage is sexually repressive and that affairs outside of it are fulfilling. This lie persists from years past and is perpetuated by a constant stream of movies, television, and books depicting the staple tale of the philandering husband or wife looking for excitement outside an affectionless marriage. However, this media image of sex, according to a researcher involved in a landmark study on the subject, "bears virtually no relationship to the truth."
Elizabeth VanDenBerghe
Faithfully married people report being extremely satisfied with the physical intimacy in their relationships, more so than all other sexually active people. Married men and women are least likely to associate sex with feelings of fear, anxiety, or guilt. Also, unmarried couples who abstain from premarital sex are less likely to separate or divorce after marriage. Further, studies show that brides and grooms who have practiced chastity are less likely to have attitudes about marriage that contribute to adultery, divorce, and lower satisfaction with a married partner.
Elizabeth VanDenBerghe
The truth lies much closer to the proclamation's strong affirmation that "the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife." Those who abide by this moral code are much better off than those who don't, according to consistent findings of research published in sources such as The Journal of the American Medical Association and The National Health and Social Life Survey.
Elizabeth VanDenBerghe
"The world would take people out of the slums. Christ takes the slums out of people, and then they take themselves out of the slums."
Ezra Taft Benson
I recognize that most people fall into sexual sin in a misguided attempt to fulfill basic human needs. We all have a need to feel loved and worthwhile. We all seek to have joy and happiness in our lives. Knowing this, Satan often lures people into immorality by playing on their basic needs. He promises pleasure, happiness, fulfillment. But this is, of course, a deception...
Ezra Taft Benson
Pride is the universal sin
Ezra Taft Benson
The plaguing sin of this generation is sexual immorality. This, the Prophet Joseph said, would be the source of more temptations, more buffetings, and more difficulties for the elders of Israel than any other.
Ezra Taft Benson
he central feature of pride is enmity—enmity toward God and enmity toward our fellowmen. Enmity means "hatred toward, hostility to, or a state of opposition." It is the power by which Satan wishes to reign over us. Pride is essentially competitive in nature. We pit our will against God's. When we direct our pride toward God, it is in the spirit of "my will and not thine be done." As Paul said, they "seek their own, not the things which are Jesus Christ's.
Ezra Taft Benson
"Man did not create himself. He did not furnish his spirit with a human dwelling place. It is God who created man, both body and spirit. Man has no right, therefore, to destroy that which he had no agency in creating. They who do so are guilty of murder, self-murder it is true; but they are no more justified in killing themselves than they are in killing others. What difference of punishment there is for the two crimes, I do not know; but it is clear that no one can destroy so precious a gift as that of life without incurring a severe penalty."
George Q. Cannon
"I am satisfied that money is the root of more trouble in marriage than all other causes combined."
Gordon B. Hinckley
"When all is said and done, the primary place in building a value system is in the homes of the people."
Gordon B. Hinckley
Even these exceptions do not justify abortion automatically. Abortion is a most serious matter and should be considered only after the persons responsible have consulted with their bishops and received divine confirmation through prayer. Church members who submit to, perform, arrange for, pay for, consent to, or encourage an abortion may be subject to Church discipline. As far as has been revealed, a person may repent and be forgiven for the sin of abortion.
Handbook 1
The Lord commanded, "Thou shalt not ... kill, nor do anything like unto it" (D&C 59:6). The Church opposes elective abortion for personal or social convenience. Members must not submit to, perform, arrange for, pay for, consent to, or encourage an abortion. The only possible exceptions are when: 1. Pregnancy resulted from forcible rape or incest. 2. A competent physician determines that the life or health of the mother is in serious jeopardy. 3. A competent physician determines that the fetus has severe defects that will not allow the baby to survive beyond birth.
Handbook 1
Grieving parents whose child dies before birth should be given emotional and spiritual support. Temple ordinances are not performed for stillborn children. However, this does not deny the possibility that a stillborn child may be part of the family in the eternities. Parents are encouraged to trust the Lord to resolve such cases in the way He knows is best. The family may record the name of a stillborn child on the family group record followed by the word stillborn in parentheses. Memorial or graveside services may be held as determined by the parents. It is a fact that a child has life before birth. However, there is no direct revelation on when the spirit enters the body.
Handbook 1 - still borns
"Satan's greatest threat today is to destroy the family, and to make a mockery of the law of chastity and the sanctity of the marriage covenant."
Harold B. Lee
Take seriously your responsibility to teach the gospel to your family through regular family home evening, family prayer, devotional and scripture-reading time, and other teaching moments. Give special emphasis to preparation for missionary service and temple marriage. As patriarch in the home, exercise your priesthood through performing the appropriate ordinances for your family and by giving blessings to your wife and children. Next to your own salvation, brethren, there is nothing so important to you as the salvation of your wife and children.
Howard W. Hunter
"Many marriages have been wrecked on the dangerous rocks of ignorant and debased sex behavior, both before and after marriage. Gross ignorance on the part of newlyweds on the subject of the proper place and functioning of sex results in much unhappiness and many broken homes."
Hugh B. Brown
Thousands of young people come to the marriage altar almost illiterate insofar as this basic and fundamental function is concerned. ... "If they who contemplate this most glorifying and intimate of all human relationships [marriage] would seek to qualify for its responsibilities. ... if they would frankly discuss the delicate and sanctifying aspects of harmonious sex life which are involved in marriage, ... much sorrow, heartbreak, and tragedy could be avoided."
Hugh B. Brown
Certainly the overarching and undergirding principle is that the discipline of children must be motivated more by love than by punishment.
James E. Faust
There is often a special challenge for those parents who are affluent or overly indulgent. In a sense, some children in those circumstances hold their parents hostage by withholding their support of parental rules unless the parents acquiesce to the children's demands. Elder Neal A. Maxwell has said, "Those who do too much for their children will soon find they can do nothing with their children. So many children have been so much done for they are almost done in." (Ensign, May 1975, p. 101.) It seems to be human nature that we do not fully appreciate material things we have not ourselves earned.
James E. Faust
When parents try to teach their children to avoid danger, it is no answer for parents to say to their children, "We are experienced and wise in the ways of the world, and we can get closer to the edge of the cliff than you." Parental hypocrisy can make children cynical and unbelieving of what they are taught in the home. For instance, when parents attend movies they forbid their children to see, parental credibility is diminished. If children are expected to be honest, parents must be honest. If children are expected to be virtuous, parents must be virtuous. If you expect your children to be honorable, you must be honorable.
James E. Faust
I started to recognize a few things. For one, I realized that what some call "chemistry" comes after honest and mature conversation, not before. This is one of the most common mistakes people make—they pursue a relationship only if they feel an immediate physical attraction. Some single people also prefer superficial topics to serious discussions and hard questions, avoiding the latter in the vain hope that once "true love" sets in, somehow all the real-life problems will disappear. Actually, it's the other way around. If at the outset you practice honest communication and learn to answer the hard questions, then trust develops. This trust erases fear, which is usually the cause of cold feet, lack of commitment, and ultimately a shaky relationship.
James Welch
"... Do our children know that we love the scriptures? Do they see us reading them and marking them and clinging to them in daily life? Have our children ever unexpectedly opened a closed door and found us on our knees in prayer? Have they heard us not only pray with them but also pray for them out of nothing more than sheer parental love? Do our children know we believe in fasting ... ? Do they know we love being in the temple ... ? Do they know we love and sustain local and general leaders, imperfect as they are ... ? Do those children know that we love God with all our heart and that we long to see the face--and fall at the feet--of His Only Begotten Son? I pray that they may know this"
Jeffrey R. Holland
"First let me declare unequivocally, absolutely, adamantly that happy marriages are the rule. They are not the exception". . . "that you cannot just be happy, you can be ecstatically happy. You can just be movingly happy in all the right ways for all the right reasons."
Jeffrey R. Holland
A husband who would never dream of striking his wife physically can break, if not her bones, then certainly her heart by the brutality of thoughtless or unkind speech. Physical abuse is uniformly and unequivocally condemned in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. If it is possible to be more condemning than that, we speak even more vigorously against all forms of sexual abuse. Today, I speak against verbal and emotional abuse of anyone against anyone, but especially of husbands against wives. Brethren, these things ought not to be.
Jeffrey R. Holland
Be constructive in your comments to a child—always. Never tell them, even in whimsy, that they are fat or dumb or lazy or homely. You would never do that maliciously, but they remember and may struggle for years trying to forget—and to forgive. And try not to compare your children, even if you think you are skillful at it. You may say most positively that "Susan is pretty and Sandra is bright," but all Susan will remember is that she isn't bright and Sandra that she isn't pretty. Praise each child individually for what that child is, and help him or her escape our culture's obsession with comparing, competing, and never feeling we are "enough."
Jeffrey R. Holland
First, we simply must understand the revealed, restored Latter-day Saint doctrine of the soul, and the high and inextricable part the body plays in that doctrine. One of the "plain and precious" truths restored to this dispensation is that "the spirit and the body are the soul of man" (D&C 88:15; emphasis added) and that when the spirit and body are separated, men and women "cannot receive a fulness of joy" (D&C 93:34).
Jeffrey R. Holland
Husbands, you have been entrusted with the most sacred gift God can give you—a wife, a daughter of God, the mother of your children who has voluntarily given herself to you for love and joyful companionship. Think of the kind things you said when you were courting, think of the blessings you have given with hands placed lovingly upon her head, think of yourself and of her as the god and goddess you both inherently are, and then reflect on other moments characterized by cold, caustic, unbridled words.
Jeffrey R. Holland
In that same spirit we speak to the sisters as well, for the sin of verbal abuse knows no gender. Wives, what of the unbridled tongue in your mouth, of the power for good or ill in your words? How is it that such a lovely voice which by divine nature is so angelic, so close to the veil, so instinctively gentle and inherently kind could ever in a turn be so shrill, so biting, so acrid and untamed?
Jeffrey R. Holland
Live the gospel as conspicuously as you can. Keep the covenants your children know you have made. Give priesthood blessings. And bear your testimony! Don't just assume your children will somehow get the drift of your beliefs on their own . . .
Jeffrey R. Holland
Second, may I suggest that human intimacy, that sacred, physical union ordained of God for a married couple, deals with a symbol that demands special sanctity. Such an act of love between a man and a woman is--or certainly was ordained to be--a symbol of total union: union of their hearts, their hopes, their lives, their love, their family, their future, their everything. It is a symbol that we try to suggest in the temple with a word like seal.
Jeffrey R. Holland
Setting aside sins against the Holy Ghost for a moment as a special category unto themselves, it is LDS doctrine that sexual transgression is second only to murder in the Lord's list of life's most serious sins. By assigning such rank to a physical appetite so conspicuously evident in all of us, what is God trying to tell us about its place in his plan for all men and women in mortality? I submit to you he is doing precisely that--commenting about the very plan of life itself. Clearly God's greatest concerns regarding mortality are how one gets into this world and how one gets out of it. These two most important issues in our very personal and carefully supervised progress are the two issues that he as our Creator and Father and Guide wishes most to reserve to himself. These are the two matters that he has repeatedly told us he wants us never to take illegally, illicitly, unfaithfully, without sanction.
Jeffrey R. Holland
Sisters, there is no place in that magnificent spirit of yours for acerbic or abrasive expression of any kind, including gossip or backbiting or catty remarks. Let it never be said of our home or our ward or our neighborhood that "the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity ... [burning] among our members."
Jeffrey R. Holland
That leads me to my last reason, a third effort to say why. After soul and symbol, the word is sacrament, a term closely related to the other two. Sexual intimacy is not only a symbolic union between a man and a woman--the uniting of their very souls--but it is also symbolic of a union between mortals and deity, between otherwise ordinary and fallible humans uniting for a rare and special moment with God himself and all the powers by which he gives life in this wide universe of ours.
Jeffrey R. Holland
Think of how many arguments could be avoided, how many hurt feelings could be spared, and, in a worst-case scenario, how many breakups and divorces could be avoided if we were not so easily provoked, if we thought no evil of one another, and if we not only did not rejoice in iniquity but didn't rejoice even in little mistakes. "Think the best of each other, especially of those you say you love. Assume the good and doubt the bad"
Jeffrey R. Holland
We must be so careful in speaking to a child. What we say or don't say, how we say it and when is so very, very important in shaping a child's view of himself or herself. But it is even more important in shaping that child's faith in us and their faith in God.
Jeffrey R. Holland
There are at least three dangers that threaten the Church within, and the authorities need to awaken to the fact that the people should be warned unceasingly against them. As I see these, they are flattery of prominent men in the world, false educational ideas, and sexual impurity. But the third subject mentioned-personal purity, is perhaps of greater importance than either of the other two.
Joseph F. Smith
As I meet with young single adults around the world, I ask them, "Why does the First Presidency care so much about you and provide so many resources for you?" These are some of the answers I get: "We are future Church leaders." "We need training so we can stay strong." "Our testimonies are strengthened in our seminary and institute classes." "We need to meet other great Latter-day Saint youth." "We are the hope of the future." I have rarely heard, "So I will someday be a better father or a better mother." Their responses are generally about self, because this is the time of life they are in.
Julie B. Beck
Live in your home so that you're brilliant in the basics, so that you're intentional about your roles and responsibilities in the family. Think in terms of precision not perfection. If you have your goals and you are precise in how you go about them in your homes, youth will learn from you. They will learn that you pray, study the scriptures together, have family home evening, make a priority of mealtimes, and speak respectfully of your marriage partner. Then from your example the rising generation will gain great hope.
Julie B. Beck
1. Inadvertent Exposure. 2. Occasional Use. 3. Intensive Use. 4. Compulsive Use.
Levels of pornography use
Sisters and brothers, how often do we intentionally "speak kind words to each other"? We might test ourselves by asking a few questions. With a little adaptation, these questions can apply to most of us, whether we are married or single, whatever our home situation might be.
Linda K. Burton
D&C 121:41 No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned; 42 By kindness, and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile-- 43 Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy; 44 That he may know that thy faithfulness is stronger than the cords of death.
Lord's counsel on chastising
Family councils have always been needed. They are, in fact, eternal. We belonged to a family council in the premortal existence, when we lived with our heavenly parents as their spirit children. A family council, when conducted with love and with Christlike attributes, will counter the impact of modern technology that often distracts us from spending quality time with each other and also tends to bring evil right into our homes.
M. Russell Ballard
I feel that the Lord also recognizes differences in intent and circumstances: Was the person who took his life mentally ill? Was he or she so deeply depressed as to be unbalanced or otherwise emotionally disturbed? Was the suicide a tragic, pitiful call for help that went unheeded too long or progressed faster than the victim intended? Did he or she somehow not understand the seriousness of the act? Was he or she suffering from a chemical imbalance that led to despair and a loss of self-control?
M. Russell Ballard
Obviously, we do not know the full circumstances surrounding every suicide. Only the Lord knows all the details, and he it is who will judge our actions here on earth. When he does judge us, I feel he will take all things into consideration: our genetic and chemical makeup, our mental state, our intellectual capacity, the teachings we have received, the traditions of our fathers, our health, and so forth.
M. Russell Ballard
Spouses need not perform the same functions to be equal. The woman's innate spiritual instincts are like a moral magnet, pointing toward spiritual north— except when that magnet's particles are scrambled out of order. The man's presiding gift is the priesthood— except when he is not living the principles of righteousness. If the husband and the wife are wise, their counseling will be reciprocal: he will listen to the promptings of her inner spiritual compass just as she will listen to his righteous counsel. And in an equal-partner marriage both also bring a spiritual maturity to their partnership, without regard to gender. Both have a conscience and the Holy Ghost to guide them. Both see family life as their most important work. Each also strives to become a fully rounded disciple of Jesus Christ—a complete spiritual being.
M. Russell Ballard
The concept of interdependent, equal partners is well-grounded in the doctrine of the restored gospel. Eve was Adam's "help meet" (Genesis 2:18). The original Hebrew for meet means that Eve was adequate for, or equal to, Adam. She wasn't his servant or his subordinate. And the Hebrew for help in "help meet" is ezer, a term meaning that Eve drew on heavenly powers when she supplied their marriage with the spiritual instincts uniquely available to women as a gender gift.
M. Russell Ballard
Consider the power of the idea that of all people on earth, we Latter-day Saints know the most about genuine romantic love and have the greatest opportunity to achieve truly happy and enduring marriages.
Marlin K. Jensen
"If we would know true love and understanding one for another, we must realize that communication is more than a sharing of words. It is the wise sharing of emotions, feelings, and concerns. It is the sharing of oneself totally"
Marvin J. Ashton
In the home, money management between husband and wife should be on a partnership basis, with both parties having a voice in decision and policy making. When children come along and reach the age of accountability, they, too, should be involved in money concerns on a limited-partnership basis.
Marvin J. Ashton
I know that my education prepared me for a life that has been nothing like I had envisioned as a young woman. I thought I was studying education to teach school and my future children, but I did not know the Lord was also preparing me to teach English in Mongolia on a mission with my husband and to teach the young women of the Church throughout the world and to teach my grandchildren the value of knowledge—all wonderful blessings I could never have imagined.
Mary N. Cook
And it came to pass that after I, the Lord God, had driven them out, that Adam began to till the earth, and to have dominion over all the beasts of the field, and to eat his bread by the sweat of his brow, as I the Lord had commanded him. And Eve, also, his wife, did labor with him. And Adam knew his wife, and she bare unto him sons and daughters, and they began to multiply and to replenish the earth
Moses 5:1-2
Many voices in the world today marginalize the importance of having children or suggest delaying or limiting children in a family. My daughters recently referred me to a blog written by a Christian mother (not of our faith) with five children. She commented: "[Growing] up in this culture, it is very hard to get a biblical perspective on motherhood. ... Children rank way below college. Below world travel for sure. Below the ability to go out at night at your leisure. Below honing your body at the gym. Below any job you may have or hope to get." She then adds: "Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. You do not collect children because you find them cuter than stamps. It is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in. It is what God gave you time for."
Neil L. Anderson
The bearing of children is a sensitive subject that can be very painful for righteous women who do not have the opportunity to marry and have a family. To you noble women, our Heavenly Father knows your prayers and desires. How grateful we are for your remarkable influence, including reaching out with loving arms to children who need your faith and strength. The bearing of children can also be a heartbreaking subject for righteous couples who marry and find that they are unable to have the children they so anxiously anticipated or for a husband and wife who plan on having a large family but are blessed with a smaller family.
Neil L. Anderson
The family is ordained of God. Families are central to our Heavenly Father's plan here on earth and through the eternities. After Adam and Eve were joined in marriage, the scripture reads, "And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth." In our day prophets and apostles have declared, "The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God's commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force."
Neil L. Anderson
This commandment has not been forgotten or set aside in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. We express deep gratitude for the enormous faith shown by husbands and wives (especially our wives) in their willingness to have children. When to have a child and how many children to have are private decisions to be made between a husband and wife and the Lord. These are sacred decisions--decisions that should be made with sincere prayer and acted on with great faith.
Neil L. Anderson
"Though some of the sheep may wander, the eye of the Shepherd is upon them, and sooner or later they will feel the tentacles of Divine Providence reaching out after them and drawing them back to the fold. Either in this life or the life to come, they will return. They will have to pay their debt to justice; they will suffer for their sins; and may tread a thorny path; but if it leads them at last, like the penitent Prodigal, to a loving and forgiving [mother's and] father's heart and home, the painful experience will not have been in vain. Pray for [our] careless and disobedient children; hold on to them with [our] faith. Hope on, trust on, till you see the salvation of God"
Orson F. Whitney
"I had loved before, but I knew not why. But now I loved—with a pureness—an intensity of elevated, exalted feeling, which would lift my soul from the transitory things of this grovelling sphere and expand it as the ocean. I felt that God was my heavenly Father indeed; that Jesus was my brother, and that the wife of my bosom was an immortal, eternal companion; a kind ministering angel, given to me as a comfort, and a crown of glory for ever and ever. In short, I could now love with the spirit and with the understanding also"
Parley P. Pratt
"It was Joseph Smith who taught me how to prize the endearing relationships of father and mother, husband and wife; of brother and sister, son and daughter.
Parley P. Pratt
"It was from him that I learned that the wife of my bosom might be secured to me for time and all eternity; and that the refined sympathies and affections which endeared us to each other emanated from the fountain of divine eternal love. It was from him that I learned that we might cultivate these affections, and grow and increase in the same to all eternity; while the result of our endless union would be an offspring as numerous as the stars of heaven, or the sands of the sea shore. ...
Parley P. Pratt
"Our natural affections are planted in us by the Spirit of God, for a wise purpose; and they are the very main-springs of life and happiness--they are the cement of all virtuous and heavenly society--they are the essence of charity, or love; ... "There is not a more pure and holy principle in existence than the affection which glows in the bosom of a virtuous man for his companion; ... "The fact is, God made man, male and female; he planted in their bosoms those affections which are calculated to promote their happiness and union"
Parley P. Pratt
There is more risk involved with this level of communication because we are never sure how the other person will react to our personal thoughts and perceptions.
Personal communication
1. Husbands and wives should counsel together and use family councils to make financial decisions. 2. The foundation of provident living is the law of the tithe. 3. Be an example with the payment of fast offerings. (A fast offering is at least the cost of the two consecutive meals from which we fast each month.) 4. Establish a family budget and involve children.
Principles of provident living
Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
Proverbs 22:6
"Regardless of your circumstances, you can center your home and your life on the Lord Jesus Christ, for He is the source of true peace in this life."
Richard G. Scott
Do not be misled by what the world defines as acceptable. To intentionally excite emotions that are reserved for sacred purposes within the covenant of marriage is seriously wrong. I solemnly witness that it is transgression to touch the private, sacred parts of another person's body except within the bonds of marriage between a man and woman. Satan has spread abroad the idea that among consenting individuals much intimacy is permissible short of the final act. That is a devastating lie. Such activity is a violation of the law of chastity, and it requires repentance. It is not only wise not to be immoral, it is a fundamental commandment of God that He considers to be very important.
Richard G. Scott
Brothers and sisters, we are responsible to safeguard these sacred freedoms and rights for ourselves and our posterity. What can you and I do? First, we can become informed. Be aware of issues in your community that could have an impact on religious liberty. Second, in your individual capacity, join with others who share our commitment to religious freedom. Work side by side to protect religious freedom. Third, live your life to be a good example of what you believe--in word and deed. How we live our religion is far more important than what we may say about our religion.
Robert D. Hales
Parenting: touching the hearts of youth
Robert D. Hales
Pay your tithing and then save! When you earn more, save more. Don't compete with others to have expensive toys. Don't buy what you can't afford. Seek out scholarships and grants. Obtain part-time employment, if possible, to help pay your own way. This will require some sacrifice, but it will help you succeed. Education will prepare you for what is ahead, including marriage.
Robert D. Hales
When faced with the choice to buy, consume, or engage in worldly things and activities, we all need to learn to say to one another, "We can't afford it, even though we want it!" or "We can afford it, but we don't need it--and we really don't even want it!"
Robert D. Hales
joyfully living within our means, being content with what we have, avoiding excessive debt, and diligently saving and preparing for rainy-day emergencies
Robert D. Hales
Some debt incurred for education, a modest home, or a basic automobile may be necessary to provide for a family. Unfortunately however, additional debt is incurred when we cannot control our wants and addictive impulses. And for both debt and addiction, the hopeful solution is the same— we must turn to the Lord and follow His commandments. We must want more than anything else to change our lives so that we can break the cycle of debt and our uncontrolled wants.
Robert D. Hales (when is it okay to go into debt)
"We believe in creating a space for everyone to live their conscience without infringing on the rights and safety of others. When the rights of one group collide against the rights of another, we must follow the principle of being as fair and sensitive to as many people as possible. The Church believes in and teaches "fairness for all."
Ronald A. Rasband
The opportunity to be involved in the political process is a privilege given to every citizen. Our laws and legislation play an important teaching role in shaping our social and moral culture. We need every individual in society to take an active role in engaging in civic dialogue that helps frame laws and legislation that are fair for everyone.
Ronald A. Rasband
"The day is gone when you can be a quiet and comfortable Christian."
Russell M. Nelson
At the heart of becoming disciples is doing what we promise to do every time we partake of the sacrament—which is to "always remember" the Lord (see Moroni 4:3; 5:2). This means remembering Him when we choose what media we're willing to expose our spirits to. It means remembering Him in how we spend our time and when choosing between a steady diet of pop culture or the Word of God. It means remembering Him in the middle of conflict or when temptation looms. It means remembering Him when critics attack His Church and mock truth. It means remembering that we have taken His name upon us (Mosiah 5:7).
Russell M. Nelson
Brothers and sisters, undergirded by incontrovertible truth, proclaim your love for God! Proclaim your love for all human beings "with malice toward none, with charity for all." They as children of God are our brothers and sisters. We value their rights and feelings. But we cannot condone efforts to change divine doctrine. It is not for man to change.
Russell M. Nelson
Concern for the health of the mother is a vital one. But circumstances in which the termination of pregnancy is necessary to save the life of the mother are very rare, particularly where modern medical care is available. Another concern applies to pregnancies resulting from rape or incest. This tragedy is compounded because an innocent woman's freedom of choice was denied. In these circumstances, abortion is sometimes considered advisable to preserve the physical and mental health of the mother. Abortions for these reasons are also rare.
Russell M. Nelson
How do we hallow the Sabbath day? In my much younger years, I studied the work of others who had compiled lists of things to do and things not to do on the Sabbath. It wasn't until later that I learned from the scriptures that my conduct and my attitude on the Sabbath constituted a sign between me and my Heavenly Father. With that understanding, I no longer needed lists of dos and don'ts. When I had to make a decision whether or not an activity was appropriate for the Sabbath, I simply asked myself, "What sign do I want to give to God?" That question made my choices about the Sabbath day crystal clear.
Russell M. Nelson
Nearly all legislation pertaining to abortion considers the duration of gestation. The human mind has presumed to determine when "meaningful life" begins. In the course of my studies as a medical doctor, I learned that a new life begins when two special cells unite to become one cell, bringing together 23 chromosomes from the father and 23 from the mother. These chromosomes contain thousands of genes. In a marvelous process involving a combination of genetic coding by which all the basic human characteristics of the unborn person are established, a new DNA complex is formed. A continuum of growth results in a new human being. Approximately 22 days after the two cells have united, a little heart begins to beat. At 26 days the circulation of blood begins. To legislate when a developing life is considered "meaningful" is presumptive and quite arbitrary, in my opinion.
Russell M. Nelson
When our youngest daughter was about four years of age, I came home from hospital duties quite late one evening. I found my dear wife to be very weary. ... So I offered to get our four-year-old ready for bed. I began to give the orders: 'Take off your clothes, hang them up; put on your pajamas; brush your teeth; say your prayers' and so on, commanding in a manner befitting a tough sergeant in the army. Suddenly she cocked her head to one side, looked at me with a wistful eye, and said, 'Daddy, do you own me?' "She taught me an important lesson. ... No, we don't own our children. Our parental privilege is to love them, to lead them, and to let them go
Russell M. Nelson
Why destroy a life that could bring great joy to others? There are better ways of dealing with an unwanted pregnancy. When a life is created by sinful behavior, the best way to begin personal repentance is to preserve the life of that child. To add another serious sin to a serious sin already committed only compounds the grief. Adoption is a wonderful alternative to abortion. Both the baby and the adoptive parents can be greatly blessed by the adoption of that baby into a home where the child will be lovingly nurtured and where the blessings of the gospel will be available.
Russell M. Nelson
Righteous agency (Righteously using your agency under the direction of the Holy Ghost will be your best means for doing good while using technology, and it will be your best protection against evil.)
Safeguard #1
Have a purpose Turn on your device only after your intention is clear. Before turning on your mobile device or computer or opening an app, determine with your companion what you will be doing. Consider the amount of time you will take and how these activities will lead to helping people exercise faith in Jesus Christ, repent, make and keep covenants, feel and follow the Holy Ghost, and endure to the end.
Safeguard #2
Be disciplined Develop the discipline to use your mobile device only when it is appropriate to do so. When you are talking face-to-face with people, do not check messages or answer calls. Take control of how you use these tools. Do not let them control you.
Safeguard #3
"The Bible celebrates sex and its proper use, presenting it as God-created, God-ordained, God-blessed. It makes plain that God himself implanted the physical magnetism between the sexes for two reasons: for the propagation of the human race, and for the expression of that kind of love between man and wife that makes for true oneness. His commandment to the first man and woman to be 'one flesh' was as important as his command to 'be fruitful and multiply.'"
Spencer W. Kimball
"The love of which the Lord speaks is not only physical attraction, but also faith, confidence, understanding, and partnership. It is devotion and companionship, parenthood, common ideals and standards. It is cleanliness of life and sacrifice and unselfishness"
Spencer W. Kimball
In selecting a companion for life and for eternity, certainly the most careful planning and thinking and praying and fasting should be done to be sure that, of all the decisions, this one must not be wrong. In true marriage there must be a union of minds as well as of hearts. Emotions must not wholly determine decisions, but the mind and the heart, strengthened by fasting and prayer and serious consideration, will give one a maximum chance of marital happiness.
Spencer W. Kimball
if you study the divorces, as we have had to do in these past years, you will find there are one, two, three, four reasons. Generally sex is the first. They did not get along sexually. They may not say that in court. They may not even tell that to their attorneys, but that is the reason
Spencer W. Kimball
It is a safe, non-argumentative, information-processing level where superficial topics are easy for us to discuss, bring up, or converse about.
Superficial communication
Encourage its members to play a role as responsible citizens in their communities, including becoming informed about issues and voting in elections. Expect its members to engage in the political process in an informed and civil manner, respecting the fact that members of the Church come from a variety of backgrounds and experiences and may have differences of opinion in partisan political matters. Request candidates for office not to imply that their candidacy or platforms are endorsed by the Church. Reserve the right as an institution to address, in a nonpartisan way, issues that it believes have significant community or moral consequences or that directly affect the interests of the Church.
The Church and politics: the church does
Endorse, promote or oppose political parties, candidates or platforms. Allow its church buildings, membership lists or other resources to be used for partisan political purposes. Attempt to direct its members as to which candidate or party they should give their votes to. This policy applies whether or not a candidate for office is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Attempt to direct or dictate to a government leader.
The church and politics: the church does not
"The first and foremost opportunity for teaching in the Church lies in the home," observed President David O. McKay. "A true Mormon home is one in which if Christ should chance to enter, he would be pleased to linger and to rest." (Gospel Ideals, Salt Lake City: Improvement Era, 1953, p. 169.) 39. What are we doing to ensure that our homes meet this description? It isn't enough for parents alone to have strong testimonies. Children can ride only so long on the coattails of a parent's conviction. President Heber J. Grant declared: "It is our duty to teach our children in their youth. I may know that the gospel is true, and so may my wife; but I want to tell you that our children will not know that the gospel is true unless they study it and gain a testimony for themselves." A love for the Savior, a reverence for His name, and genuine respect one for another will provide a fertile seedbed for a testimony to grow.
Thomas S. Monson
Family prayer is the greatest deterrent to sin, and hence the most beneficent provider of joy and happiness. The old saying is yet true: "The family that prays together stays together." On October 7, my wife, ---, and I will have been married forty years. Our marriage took place just to the east of us in the holy temple. He who performed the ceremony, Benjamin Bowring, counseled us: "May I offer you newlyweds a formula which will ensure that any disagreement you may have will last no longer than one day? Every night kneel by the side of your bed. One night, Brother ---, you offer the prayer, aloud, on bended knee. The next night you, Sister ----, offer the prayer, aloud, on bended knee. I can then assure you that any misunderstanding that develops during the day will vanish as you pray. You simply can't pray together and retain any but the best of feelings toward one another.
Thomas S. Monson
Happy homes come in a variety of appearances. Some feature large families with father, mother, brothers, and sisters living together in a spirit of love. Others consist of a single parent with one or two children, while other homes have but one occupant. There are, however, identifying features which are to be found in a happy home, whatever the number or description of its family members. I refer to these as "Hallmarks of a Happy Home." They consist of: 1. A pattern of prayer. 2. A library of learning 3. A legacy of love. 4. A treasury of testimony.
Thomas S. Monson
Love is the essence of the gospel
Thomas S. Monson
Reading is one of the true pleasures of life. In our age of mass culture, when so much that we encounter is abridged, adapted, adulterated, shredded, and boiled down, it is mind-easing and mind-inspiring to sit down privately with a congenial book. James A. Michener, prominent author, suggests, "A nation becomes what its young people read in their youth. Its ideals are fashioned then, its goals strongly determined." The Lord counseled, "Seek ye out of the best books words of wisdom; seek learning, even by study and also by faith." (D&C 88:118.). The standard works offer the library of learning of which I speak. We must be careful not to underestimate the capacity of children to read and to understand the word of God.
Thomas S. Monson
Seemingly little lessons of love are observed by children as they silently absorb the examples of their parents. My own father, a printer, worked long and hard practically every day of his life. I'm certain that on the Sabbath he would have enjoyed just being at home. Rather, he visited elderly family members and brought cheer into their lives. Let us not be discouraged by the many newspaper and television accounts of discord—and sometimes cruelty—between companions and assume that virtue has vanished and love's lamp no longer glows. Two of my dearest friends now lie in poor health and helpless. They are not alone. Their faithful companions minister to them in tender love. My friend Pres, who rarely leaves the side of his wife, said of her, "Christine is weaker but still beautiful. I love her so." What a noble tribute to fidelity, to love, to marriage!
Thomas S. Monson
Fortunately, this husband doesn't have to figure out by himself how to prepare for marital intimacy, and neither do you. Consider some of the spiritual truths we have discussed. We start with the foundational understanding that intimacy of any kind involves reciprocal feelings of trust and emotional closeness and an open communication of thoughts and feelings. Hence, the more a husband and wife experience open communication, trust, and emotional closeness with each other, the greater their prospects for enjoying true marital intimacy. The more unified spouses are in all areas of their lives, the more intimate their relationship will be. Physical intimacy then becomes a symbol of their overall unity. True marital intimacy becomes a time for them to draw closer to each other by uniting their whole souls—bodies and spirits.
Wendy Watson Nelson
One bewildered husband said, "Okay, now I know what I'm not supposed to do. But I don't have a clue about what I should do. I want to be able to offer my wife the kind of marital intimacy we're talking about, but if I can't take my lead from what I see on TV and in movies, what do I do? I'm not good at thinking of these things myself."
Wendy Watson Nelson
consisting of a mother and father
executive family council
storge
familial love
Philia
friendship love
consisting of the entire family
general family council
consisting of parents and one child
limited family council
consisting of one parent and one child
one-on-one family council
Eros
romantic love
This level is always positive and complimentary in nature and may be either verbal or non-verbal. It is edifying, healing, and praise-giving.
validating communication
joyfully living within our means, being content with what we have, avoiding excessive debt, and diligently saving and preparing for rainy-day emergencies (:
what is a provident living