Pamela Paul - "You and Me and Pornography: How Porn Affects Relationships"
In the Elle-MSNBC poll what did 45% of men who used pornography for five or more hours a week say?
They were masturbating too much.
What do women often assume when they use pornography with their partner?
They're satisfying all his sexual needs.
According to Diane Russell, what happens to men who look at pornography repeatedly?
Think that unusual sex acts are much more frequently performed in relationships all over the U.S.
What do many women remark about men who watch a lot of pornography?
They avoid fair play.
How does Jonah think pornography is an enhancement to his sex life with his fiancé?
Think about porn while having sex with her.
For many men what does pornography take away from?
Time and energy that could be better spent on marriage and family.
According to filtering company WiseChoice.net what do more than half its adult customers use it for?
To keep themselves and other adults from looking at porn.
What do media messages often encourage women to do with regard to porn?
Try it themselves and urge couples to use it together.
What do media and therapists do to women who blame themselves when their partners stray into pornography?
Urge women to ignore the problem, stop complaining, or learn to better "understand" her man
According to Aaliyah, what is the problem in pornography?
Women are always servicing men.
According to Jessic , what is her boyfriend's pornography use about?
Avoiding his own insecurities.
According to some sex therapists and couples counselors what is a woman's discomfort with porn a reflection of?
A discomfort of her own sexuality.
Why did Kara think Rob used pornography?
A way to get off w/o dealing w/ a woman's vulnerabilities or confront his own insecurities & fears.
According to Marcia Maddox, what is pornography like?
Adultery.
What do one-third of women married to a cyberspace user consider their partner's online activities akin to what?
Adultery.
What is most men's view of 'erotica"?
Boring, stupid, pointless, a figment of a women's imagination.
What does Aline Zoldbrod say has to be in place before a couple introduces pornography into their sex life as a couple's activity?
Close emotional foundation.
What did Jessica do at Joe's suggestion?
Consulted a plastic surgeon to get implants.
Under what conditions do some therapist think a man's use of pornography on his own would work in a relationship?
The women doesn't object to porn, and if the man uses it moderately and is always emotionally and physically available for his wife.
According to Mark Schwartz what is pornography always a sign of?
Disconnection
What is reflected in Katie Couric's reaction to the advice of Dr. Gail Saltz?
Discrepancies b/w what's urged by porn advocates & sex therapists & what the avg. American wants in their sex life.
According to attorney's what is pornography increasingly connected to?
Divorce.
According to Mark Scwartz what is the distinction between free-flow fantasy and porn-induced fantasy?
Fantasy is in the mind. Porn is in print, video, etc.
What do many women feel upon discovering their mate's pornography preferences?
Feel pressure to pony up.
For Eliot, what does fantasy do?
Fills the empty space
For Trey what sexual experience does pornography provide for him?
First time with a woman, every time.
Which generation is more likely to believe that pornography improves ones sex life?
Generation X (people in their 30s.)
Because what rarely transpires in real life is especially appealing as a fantasy, what does pornography do?
Glorifies the practices that women are least likely to accommodate.
In pornography, what does partnered life do?
Hampers sexual pleasure
What happened to spoil the relationship between Nathalie and her boyfriend?
He bought her a vibrator.
What truth does Evan admit about his girlfriend?
He didn't think she was good enough.
How does Mia analyze her boyfriend wanting to watch porn while having sex?
He was transferring the objectification of another woman onto her.
What does it mean that Jonah is confining his desires around bondage to pornography rather than with Stephanie?
He's getting sexual satisfaction from someone else.
What do women typically feel who discover their partner's porn use?
Hurt, angry and betrayed.
What does pornography have a significant role in with regard to a couple's relationship?
In sex and in a couple's sense of trust, security and fidelity.
What is one of the major attractions of pornography for men?
It is dissociated from real life pressures, emotional entanglements and commitment.
What did Bridget feel like when she found that Marc had been looking at porn?
Like she had been thrown away.
What is the result for Ashley of her peers' open usage of pornography?
Major insecurity.
What wrecked the relationship between Leigh and Max?
Max wouldn't stop looking at porn.
What did Jonah's therapist tell him about his use of pornography?
There's no reason to feel guilty; there's nothing wrong with pursuing his fantasies through porn.
What is the view of the vast majority of women towards men looking at pornography?
They don't like it.
According to Jonah, what is absent in using pornography?
Performance anxiety.
What conclusion do women reach, that is reinforced by a pornified culture?
Porn is inevitable and there's nothing they can do.
What male sentiments does prolonged exposure to pornography foster?
Sentiments against having a family at all.
What are habitual male users of mainstream pornography at greater risk of becoming?
Sexually callous toward female sexuality and concerns.
What is the wordless pact that boys sign?
That porn is a secret.
According to Naomi Wolf, what inability do young women worry about?
The inability to be "porn-worthy" in the eyes of men.
In the Elle-MSNBC poll, what did one in five men confess to?
They were having sex less often with their partners.
How does Aline Zoldbrod describe men and women's sexuality?
Women are crock-pots and men are microwaves.
What is the inevitable side-effect of men's secrecy around porn?
Women think that if they're hiding it, it's got to be wrong.
