Parent Ed Exam # 2

Corporal Punishment - Definition

"use of physical force with the intent of causing a child to experience pain, but no injury, for the purposes of correction or control of the child's behavior."

GI Generation (1904-1924)

(1904-1924) • Enjoyed 'good kid' reputation as beneficiaries of new playground, scouting clubs and labor restrictions • Patiently endured Depression and heroically fought war - economic deprivation, women in work force, ration food

Taking Away Privileges

- Taking away privileges can be used both at home and in the classroom as a way to discipline children. - Within the classroom, teachers may take away privileges, such as the ability to participate in extracurricular activities (e.g., sports, music) if students are not performing well academically. - At-home caregivers may take away privileges such as allowances, technology, toys, or time with friends when the child does not follow the rules. - Both within the classroom and at home, setting and communicating standards are extremely important parts of this child-rearing strategy. - When standards are set and communicated with the children, it allows children to know what is expected of them and when they do not meet these expectations then consequences, such as taking away privileges will happen

SR: Meta Analysis of Spanking

- The goal of this article was to address two major concerns about past meta-analyses of the association of parents' use of spanking and a range of child outcomes. - Thirteen of the 17 child outcomes examined were found to be significantly associated with parents' use of spanking. - Among the outcomes in childhood, spanking was associated with more aggression, more antisocial behavior, more externalizing problems, more internalizing problems, more mental health problems, and more negative relationships with parents. - Spanking was also significantly associated with lower moral internalization, lower cognitive ability, and lower self-esteem. - The largest effect size was for physical abuse; the more children are spanked, the greater the risk that they will be physically abused by their parents. - adult antisocial behavior, adult mental health problems, and adult support for physical punishment - The meta-analyses presented here found no evidence that spanking is associated with improved child behavior and rather found spanking to be associated with increased risk of 13 detrimental outcomes

Constructive Choices

- child-rearing strategy where parents provide the child with options for the child when making decisions. - This allows children to be involved in making choices in their everyday activities, while still maintaining choices that are positive and safe. - This strategy can help children learn how to make decisions, and it teaches and guides children about how to analyze their decision-making abilities so they can eventually make decisions on their own - Limit the number of times you give a child a choice, - Limit the number of choices you give a child (two to four choices work well), - Provide developmentally-appropriate choices that keep the child safe and healthy, - Support the child's decision, and - Help children think about their choices and the reasoning behind making each decision.

What Can We Do To Create Confident Parents

Clear expectations of children and parents - control the culture instead of culture controlling you. • Expect respect from your children • Expect participation in family life • Build the village - responsibilities to school and community • Unplug your kids • Resist peer cultures of parents and children • Put down phone - moderate use - particularly social media • Encourage in-person social interactions - including adults • Resources to beat depression and anxiety • Help develop independence - don't do things for them. • Safe, but prepared

Components to Effectively Guide Children

Developmentally appropriate Children to learn to accept the consequences of their decisions (both positive and not-so-positive). Allow mistakes to become lessons. Encourage internalization of rules, values and beliefs Strengthen self-regulation and self-efficacy. Guide social skills, facilitate work and social interactions Avoid making children feel guilt, shame, or fear Help children develop internal structure that will allow for reasoning and analysis to guide personal actions and decisions. Consistency and flexibility

Natural Consequences

Direct result of a physical act. Don't eat --- hungry Don't sleep ---- tired Natural consequences are sometimes too dangerous to be allowed or too remote in time to be effective in teaching children result of their actions - so logical consequences are substituted.

Effective Methods

Effective limit setting Behavior Modification and Reinforcement Time Out Modeling Natural and Logical Consequences Redirection

Guidance as Prevention of Problems

Effective strategies include: Establishing an atmosphere of psychological safety for children The technique of encouragement Understanding the four goals of misbehavior A method for improving parent-child communication skills which includes problem ownership, active listening, and I-messages

Logical Consequences

Events that follow a social act. Use of Logical consequences requires a reorientation of our thinking - 'live in democratic society where we guide children not control them' Should not be used in power struggle Children should see them as justice so accept them without resentment.

Consequences vs. Punishments

Less we talk about consequences the less they appear as punishment - want them to guide and direct but not punish. Differ from punishment by: Directly related to what child does whereas punishment may have no relationship to behavior. They do not place moral blame or judgment on child - parent advisor not judge - child makes choice to pay the price.

Parental Goals for Preventing Misbehavior

Strategies for preventing misbehavior Changing one's responses to the child's unacceptable behavior Assisting the child in becoming aware of the underlying goal motivating the misbehavior Helping children achieve a sense of belongingness through appropriate means

What is good parenting in this context (Doherty, 2000)

Successful parenting measured by whether you have offered enough "opportunities" to your child. • Public and observable because parents compete - can be judged • "Parenting as product development' - developing children through exposure to books, museums, toys • Process of child 'development' more about parent than about child.

Dreikurs Beliefs

System of rewarding children for good behavior is as dangerous as system of punishing them. Need system of mutual respect. Use consequences

Discipline versus Guidance

The view of discipline in the United States reflects our history using a punitive approach to childrearing The punitive child socialization approach is not universal and not growth producing - punish after the act - guiding is before the have done something - setting them up for success, building into them what they should do, encouraging things daily to move them in the right direction Thinking of child socialization as guidance helps us consider other strategies that are More growth producing Less harmful to children than punishment

Democratic Parenting - Dreikurs

Understand the feelings and goals that underlie children's misbehavior - why - understand feeling as a parent - used in both parenting and classroom management Emphasized that the socialization process frequently contributes to children's misconduct Emphasized that the chief human goal is belonging Encouragement is most important aspect in raising children. - encouragement: throughout the process - praise: happens for an achievement Developed program called STEP - Systematic Training for Effective Parenting

Gen Z (1995-2012)

• Also referred to as iGen, iY, Y2Kers, Homeland, Post-Millennial, Founders, Plurals, Gen 9/11 • TransGens - Transglobal, Transgender, Transsexual, Transracial, Transeconomical, • Most diverse (never know time before black president or before gay marriage) • Technology - 'is the experience' • Process information faster because of snapchat, thus shorter attention spans and multitaskers • Far more independent • "why wait for things to change, when I can be the change" • Globally connected and engaged. Technology is perpetually evolving so their expectation is personal growth should correspond. • Independently making use of plethora of information at their fingertips to generate their own opportunities and create change. • Trending is greater emotional intelligence, activism, global, sustainability, wealth and equality, interest in political affairs

Issues in Parenting

• Ambivalent, insecure parent is pushover in today's environment: • Consumer culture teaches children to be demanding - expect attention, believe what they want is important, egocentric • Therapeutic culture keeps parent from being assertive enough to exercise parental responsibility - parents afraid to make their kids unhappy - parents not wanting to dedicate time to family time - children learn they do not have responsibilities

Research on Physical Punishment Meta Analysis results, large, medium, and small effects

meta analysis results - large effect (greater than .50): Child mental health, victim of physical abuse, negative parent-child relationship - medium effect (.30-.50): low moral internalization, child aggression, and child externalizing behaviors - small effect (.10-.30): child internalizing behaviors, low self esteem, and impaired cognitive ability) - no effect (lees than .10): immediate defiance, child alcohol/substance abuse, low self-regulation

Important Cultural Events for Millennials

• All About Perspective: • They grew up plugged into the Internet • Always cooked their popcorn in a microwave • Never watched television without a remote control • They think Kansas, Chicago, America and Alabama are places, not musical groups Cultural Events that shaped Millennials • Columbine High School massacre • Oklahoma City Bombing • The death of Princess Diana • Lewinsky scandal • 911 • Iraq War

Families of Color (racial socialization)

• An important component of child socialization for families of color is racial socialization. - only necessary in racist societies, influences raising of children • Racial socialization acts as a buffer against negative racial messages in the environment and is meant to build pride in racial/ethnic identity. - emphasis on role models, racism they might encounter • This may be verbal and nonverbal messages about racism, group identity, intergroup interactions, and highlighting role models.

Implications of these Traits for Millennials

• Close relationship with and reliance on parents - don't mind parents' handling things for them' • Highest achieving are bright, ambitious, focused - but fact driven, uncomfortable with ambiguity - overachieving. - tell me what to do or whats the right answer • Feel no need to rebel • Don't perceive themselves as lost or radical generation, possibly next greatest

Influence of Technology Traits of Gen Z

• Elmore (2012) discussed Generation iY -born after 1990 - the later version of millennials - this younger population more defined by technology. • More eclectic and diverse • An overwhelmed generation • An over connected generation • An overprotected generation • An over served generation

Natural and Logical Consequences

- Caregivers can use both natural and logical consequences for children to learn better behaviors. - Both natural and logical consequences encourage children to take responsibility for their actions and behaviors, but in different ways. - Natural consequences allow children to learn from the natural outcomes of a situation and logical consequences allow the parent to set the consequences of a child's undesired actions or behaviors. - Logical consequences work best when consequences are immediate and consistent. It is also important to talk with the child about the behavior and to discuss what alternative behaviors would be better to use

Events that shaped Gen Z

• Events that shaped Gen Z • 911 • Afghanistan war • Sandy Hook • Barack Obama president • Global Warming • USAG sexual scandal Pop Culture Influences • iphones • YouTube, Snapchat, twitter, Instagram • Chromebooks, ipads, online searches • Hulu, spotify, music.ly • Xbox, DS, Wii • Webkins, Beanie Babies, American Girls • Recycle and reuse • DIY, thrifting, vintage • American Idol, The Voice, Survivor, Amazing Race • The Kardashians, Bachelor, Bachelorette

Baby Boomers (1943-1960)

• Indulged youth during era of community-spirited progress • Proud creation of postwar optimism • Demanded inner vision over team playing and social conformity - a lot of conformity due to hitler, they want opposite • High self-esteem is key to happy life • Taught that parents' main job is to help child fulfill their unique potential - culture became child-centered • Appointed selves as arbiter of nation's values • Type A personalities, controlling, work hard and long so focus time with kids on 'quality'

Millennial Traits: Achievement Focused

• SAT and ACT scores • "cool to be smart" • Commitment to arts, leadership, sports, service • Asserting their "intellectual authority" over parents, teachers because they are more techno-savvy and capable of accessing greater breadth of information quickly • Have hypertext minds" that prefer to leap around rather than follow a linear thought process

Changes that Influenced Parenting (Garbarino; 1995 Doherty; 2000)

• Social Environment has changed - Garbarino (1995) talks about "Social Toxicity" - the environment has become poisonous to Childs development - poverty, fashion, politics, ads, trauma, nastiness in social media, reality tv, paranoia • Dougherty (2000) believes we have insecure, over-indulgent parenting stemming from: • consumer culture of childhood - children are consumers of parenting and parents provides the services • therapeutic culture of parenting. - promotes self-centeredness in children - less family time - people doing their own thing

Silent Generation (1925-1942)

• Suffocated children of war and depression • Came of age too late to be war heroes and too early to be youthful free spirits. • Conformists and non-risk takers • Entering elderhood with unprecedented affluence and reputation for indecision

Millennial Traits: Tech Savvy or Tech Dependent

• Technology is at the very core of their existence • They carry an arsenal of electronic devices, the smaller the better • The Web is the hub for all their activities • Use the Web to create and share content • Staying connected is essential • Millennials are prolific communicators that gravitate towards activities that promote and reinforce social interaction: They are totally plugged in.

Families of Origin and Parenting

• The quality of attachment to their own parents predicts the way in which parents interact with their children. • Parents who have had a continuously secure attachment to their own parents are emotionally supportive and responsive to their children • While setting clear and consistent limits

Physical Punishment Concerns

- Because potential for abuse and physical punishment is related to aggressiveness among children and to a more violent society (Murray Straus) - Straus cites studies that find the more corporal punishment a child receives during middle childhood and early adolescence, the greater probability of delinquency and adult criminality. - Straus believes not all cases lead to this but if spanking increases violence by 10% isn't it worth eliminating?

Structure with flexibility (routines, rules, and directions)

- Children (and most people of all ages) thrive in flexibly-structured environments. - For children, the sense of knowing what to expect typically elicits feelings of safety and security. - Caregivers can help children reduce feelings of chaos by providing flexible, but consistent: Routines, Rules, and Concrete, explicit directions with easy-to-understand expectations. Rules and routines - In order to maintain consistent routines (e.g., bedtimes, traditions) and rules (e.g., not eating food in certain areas of the house, curfews, wearing a helmet while riding a bicycle) it is important to facilitate and adhere to them as much as possible. Expectations should be developmentally-appropriate and communicated in a manner that can be easily understood. - For instance, perhaps family meals are at 6:30 p.m. because this is the time that everyone gets home from work and school activities. This expectation and all moderations should be communicated with all members on a daily basis but also remain flexible. Exceptions that may change a family mealtime might include attending a school-related activity or having a large family gathering every Sunday at 1:30 p.m Directions Specific, warm, concrete, understandable directions and expectations can improve behaviors, prevent dangerous circumstances, reduce caregivers' frustrations, and foster children's learning of appropriate behaviors. It is most effective to tell children exactly what behaviors you desire.

SR: American Academy of Pediatrics Policy on Effective Discipline

- In 1989, the United Nations (UN) Convention on the Rights of the Child, through its Committee on the Rights of the Child, called on all member states to ban corporal punishment of children and institute educational programs on positive discipline - Optimal child development requires the active engagement of adults who, among other functions, teach children about acceptable behavior - Parents look to pediatric providers for guidance concerning a variety of parenting issues, including discipline - corporal punishment is both ineffective in the long-term and associated with cognitive and mental health problems can guide these discussions - When parents want guidance about the use of spanking, pediatricians can explore parental feelings, help them better define the goals of discipline, and offer specific behavior management strategies. - In addition to providing appropriate education to families, providers can refer them to community resources, including parenting groups, classes, and mental health services - The AAP recommends that adults caring for children use healthy forms of discipline, such as positive reinforcement of appropriate behaviors, setting limits, redirecting, and setting future expectations. - The AAP recommends that parents do not use spanking, hitting, slapping, threatening, insulting, humiliating, or shaming.

Positive Language

- The manner in which parents communicate with their child can largely determine the child's own communication methods and language development and can affect the child's vocabulary and speaking skills over time. Using positive language can greatly support and encourage the child as they get older - Respond quickly and kindly to a child's needs. Provide a listening ear or advice even at inconvenient times. - Be responsive and consistent. - Use positive and encouraging words when speaking with a child. - Set a good example of how to talk to other people in public as well as at home by using manners and respect, such as saying "please," "thank you," and "I'm sorry." - Avoid sarcasm or ill-willed teasing. - Use positive, communicative forms of guidance and avoid any form of violent discipline such as spanking. - Spend time alone with each child, even at a young age. Quality time coupled with open communication encourages the child to feel safe and comfortable with their parents and creates a reliable relationship

SR: Rates of Corporal Punishment

- The survey suggests that a majority of children in the US were not being spanked in the past year - The only group for whom spanking seemed to occur to more than half were the children ages 2-7 - spanking rates declining - reduction in family size, increases in the age at which adults become parents, and a cultural shift toward more nurturance based parenting and away from discipline and obedience based approaches could lead to the decline - The decline in spanking is consistent with declines in other forms of violence against children and in society at large

Time-in and Time-outs

- Time-ins are a positive child guidance strategy in which the caregiver stays with the child until they are both calm and can communicate about the issue at hand. - When using a time-in the caregiver should stay with the child, and listen to the child and what they are feeling. - Once the child has calmed down then the caregiver and child can discuss the child's behavior and what needs to be changed. - Time-ins allow for children to not feel threatened and learn in a positive way. - The caregiver and child are able to connect reducing power struggles since everyone's feelings and needs are considered. - A more common and somewhat opposite approach is the use of time-outs. - Time-outs are a less positive approach and can be less effective compared to time-ins. - Time-outs are where a child is left to sit alone somewhere away from the caregiver for a set amount of time. Both time-ins and time-outs are used to: stop undesirable behavior, help children learn better coping skills, and give parents and children a chance to calm down.

Redirecting

- Verbal and physical redirection help promote desirable behaviors by directing children's attention to a different activity, toy, or behavior. - These strategies help teach appropriate behavior, prevent injuries, reduce punishments, remove children from situations, and promote learning and exploration. - The goal is to provide children with easy-to-understand alternative actions (verbally and/or physically) instead of using threats, punishments, or telling children what not to do - Verbal redirection is effective without physical redirection, but physical redirection is not effective without verbal redirection. - As in most forms of child rearing, communication is a pivotal component of effective parenting strategies. - Physical redirection tends to be more effective with younger children because they are still developing their language comprehension. - As children develop additional cognitive and language skills, physical redirection should be used less frequently and verbal redirection should be used more often. - An extremely important part of effective physical redirection is adding a gentle, nurturing touch simultaneously with the verbal redirection. - Maintain eye contact and come down to the child's level. Let children know that the act they are performing is unacceptable by using a firm, nurturing voice. - Explain why the behavior is unacceptable in a clear, consistent, developmentally appropriate manner. This will help children associate these words with the undesirable action. - Encourage children to practice the desired outcome immediately. For example, instead of telling children not to stand on chairs, verbally explain that they need to sit down while gently touching them to help them sit down carefully. - Use physical and verbal redirection to foster children's curiosity. For instance, encourage them to participate in desired acts that they will undoubtedly want to join. - Provide positive reinforcement and praise for completing the act in a desirable manner.

Anticipatory Structure

- a strategy where caregivers share plans and provide forewarnings to children regarding upcoming transitions between activities. - This can help establish routines and facilitate more smooth changes in routines. It also allows time for children to prepare for changes, which can heighten their cooperation when the change happens. - Anticipatory structure is most effective when caregivers provide multiple forewarnings before transitions, give reasoning for what the child is being asked to do, and use age-appropriate language that the child can understand. - It is helpful for parents to provide praise or compliments for their children as th

CALM

- a technique for parents to use to communicate with their children, whether that be talking through a conflict or just sharing about what happened that day. - The goal of this method is to give children a voice and help them feel heard. The "best-practice" way to utilize this method would be to implement it every time your child wants to have a conversation one-on-one with you. Connect Affect Listen Mirroring - CONNECT. The first step in the CALM method is connecting with the child. This means putting aside any and all distractions in order to give your full and undivided attention to what the child says to you. - AFFECT. The second step is affect, which is emotion. This means you want to share and show your emotions and feelings with your children and let them know that you have the same emotions as they do. Through this, they can see that you understand and empathize with what they are going through or telling you. - LISTEN. The third step is listening to the child by repeating what is said back to you or asking for clarifications to help the child feel listened to and heard. - MIRRORING. The fourth and final step is mirroring. This is when you (a) make sure you fully understand what the child is telling you, (b) clear up any questions or misunderstandings by paraphrasing (back to the child) what the child said, and (c) share in your child's thoughts and feelings.

Four Pluses and A Wish

- aimed at creating cooperation and motivation for children to comply with parental requests. - Along with leading to better behavior outcomes, it also works to foster healthy communication and is a good example of parental supportive speech. - Four Pluses and a Wish involves the parent providing three pluses, which are positive actions toward their child, before making a request. - This helps the child feel more respected by their parents and therefore more likely to comply with parental wishes and requests. - There are four steps to follow for this strategy Plus 1 Smile: The parent approaches the child with a smile and a happy facial expression to show the child that nothing is wrong. Plus 2 Relaxed body language: The parent displays a relaxed body and uses a friendly voice to communicate friendliness and acceptance toward the child. Plus 3 Say the child's name: For children, hearing a parent say their name feels more personal, is affirming, and helps make them feel included and respected in the communication. Plus 4 Compliment the child: Make a positive comment on something the child is doing, wearing, etc., to make the child feel appreciated. The Wish Make the request: After providing four pluses for the child, the parent can then make a request (the wish)

Problem Ownership

- an important tool to utilize when caregivers are communicating with children because it can help avoid blaming and arguing. - This is when caregivers take time to reflect on an issue and think, "Whose problem is this? Who is actually upset about this?" - Sometimes we may think the child is the one with the problem when actually we are the ones getting upset. In reality, the child is just fine - we are the ones that have a problem. This is when a caregiver should own the problem. - If a caregiver owns the problem, it is a perfect opportunity to utilize effective communication strategies such as I-Messages to express one's thoughts and feelings regarding the problem. - If, however, the child owns the problem, caregivers can use this as a chance to practice adult-child interaction techniques such as active listening and the CALM method to connect with the child concerning the problem. - Problem ownership helps caregivers determine which problems they need to figure out themselves, and which problems they should allow their children to figure out. - This provides a learning experience to gain responsibility for one's actions that can be utilized in other relationships as well

Induction

- can be used to help youth develop empathy, guide their behaviors, take ownership of their actions, learn acceptable behaviors, and understand how their actions may impact themselves (self-centered induction) and others (other-oriented induction) - Children reared in an environment that uses this approach tend to have higher moral reasoning, internalized standards for behaviors, prosocial skills, and resistance to external influences when compared to their peers who have not been exposed to this technique - When you have a child's full attention: - Explain how one's actions can affect themselves and others (positively and negatively). - Use a child's actions as an example to discuss and recommend expectations for acceptable behavior. - Model desired behaviors for a child to imitate. - Use others' actions as examples to discuss and assess how behaviors can impact others' feelings. - Encourage, discuss, and reward desired behaviors. - Explain and discourage undesirable actions. - Be consistent and proactive by communicating expectations, discussing outcomes, and identifying feelings related to behaviors on an ongoing basis.

I-messages

- effective communication techniques to use when talking with another person. - The goals of I-messages are to keep interactions positive, and avoid blame, guilt, judgment, and shame. - I-messages express your own feelings, while "you" messages place assumptions or judgments onto the person with whom you are speaking. - A "you" message would sound like, "You need to pay more attention!" or "You shouldn't be acting like that. - The "you" message might be something like, "You always disobey our rules and do whatever you want!" - However, turning it into an I-message might sound more like this, "I feel angry when you disobey the rules we've laid out for you because I feel disrespected. I like it when you obey the rules, guidelines, and boundaries we have in this family because it makes me feel like you care about me, yourself, and the whole family "I feel ___ When ___ Because ___ I like ___ - This outline expresses how you feel about a given situation, action, or behavior by explaining what you feel, why you feel that way, and what you would like the desired behavior to be

Chronosystem part of ecological theory is related to generational impacts. As we move through history, different generations have different experiences.

- roe VS wade - same sex marriage - divorce laws - economy - security/9/11 - covid - technology - social movements and cultural values - influences how parents parent - all about context

Grounding

- teach children that there are consequences to their actions by taking away certain privileges or freedoms. - This is especially beneficial to start using at around 12 years of age, when many children are starting to gain new freedoms and may push the limits - The goals of grounding are to provide the child with appropriate limits and boundaries and teach the child that there are consequences to behaving in certain ways, such as pushing these limits or crossing these boundaries. - If a child chooses to behave in contrast to the limits or boundaries set by a caregiver, grounding can be the logical consequence for the child's behavior - Start early: From as early on as preschool, a caregiver can begin to set boundaries and family rules for the child and should explain to the child that not following these will lead to consequences. - Choose specific activities to take away that are desirable to the child: When grounding, choose a tangible activity, privilege, or freedom to take away from the child such as toys, television time, or playing with friends. The activity, privilege, or freedom must be something the child enjoys or this method will be ineffective. - Do not give in to guilt: Even though a caregiver may feel bad and want to give the privileges back to the child early, the child must learn that poor decisions lead to negative consequences; a child will not learn the lessons that grounding aims to teach if a caregiver does not follow through with the entire process. - Consistency is key: Caregivers must consistently follow through with all consequences in order for grounding, or any other guidance technique, strategy, or method, to be beneficial and successful in their child's life

Active Listening

- type of communication strategy between two or more people that consists of paying attention to what someone is saying and attempting to understand what is being said - active listening can be a catalyst in one's personal growth. For example, children are more likely to listen to themselves if someone else allows them to speak and successfully convey their message - Learning how to actively listen takes time, practice, and full commitment. - Once achieved, it can build a strong foundation for positive communication resulting in a strong caregiver-child relationship by building trust throughout the lifespan. - This strategy also tends to improve the quality of conversations by connecting with others on a deeper level, which can lead to more positive and healthy relationships. - Caregivers should be on the child's level and listen in an attentive, nonjudgmental, non-interrupting manner. - Listeners should pay close attention to possible hidden messages and meanings contained in the verbal communication and should note all non-verbal communication from the child. - It is important to remember that you are not giving your opinion and thoughts regarding what the child relays to you; you are paraphrasing what the child said and expressing back to the child the emotions the child conveyed

Extended childhood Trends of Gen Z

1. In no hurry (extension of childhood) 2. Internet (time on phone and what replaced) 3. In person no more (decline of in-person social contact) 4. Insecure (increase in mental health issues) 5. Insulated but not intrinsic (safety and decline of civic movement) 6. Income insecurity (new attitudes toward work) 7. Indefinite (new attitudes toward sex, relationships and children) 8. Inclusive (acceptance, equality and free speech) 9. Independent (political views) • She found today's teens are less likely to do adult things such as going out without their parents, have sex, drive, drink, etc - because developmental speed is an adaptation to cultural context. • Today's families have fewer children and cultivate each child longer and more intensely (i.e., less children, play organized sports in preschool and begin planning for college early).

Myths that Perpetuate Corporeal Punishment

1. Spanking Works Better 2. Spanking is Needed as Last Resort 3. Spanking Is Harmless 4. One or two time won't cause any damage 5. Parents Can't Stop without Training 6. If you don't spank, your child will be spoiled or run wild 7. Parents spank rarely or only for serious problems 8. By the time a child is a teenager, parents have stopped 9. If parents don't spank, they will verbally abuse their child 10.It is unrealistic to expect parents to never spank

Constructive Guidance

A variety of techniques or approaches. Have empathy and compassion toward child. Explain and reason. Be consistent. Use positive reinforcement. Facilitate responsibility and independence. Foster appropriate individuality

Use of Corporal Punishment

A way of getting child's attention in face of dangerous act. Most likely to use spanking when child is out of control, disobedient, or disrespectful. Factors that relate to parent use of physical punishment. ◦ Parents' belief in its usefulness ◦ Parents' own experience with it as a child - could go both ways ◦ An authoritarian style of parenting ◦ Children's problems of aggressiveness and acting out - many parents say they wished they had not spanked. they felt angry they used spanking and that it upset the child. they wish they had alternatives to manage children's behaviors

Problems Associated with Punishment

Attempts to punish might actually serve as a reinforcement ◦ Example: if the child is misbehaving for attention In most cases, punishment is not logically related to the child's problematic behavior - children who want attention will misbehave for attention, spanking/yelling will reinforce the behavior because you are giving them attention - always think about why the child is misbehaving- toddlers usually tired and hungry - in most cases punishment is not logically related to the childs problematic behavior ◦ If the child spills milk and the parent scolds the child, where's the logic? A side effect of punishment is that it compromises the parent-child relationship Punishment negatively impacts development Children who consistently receive parental punishment have: ◦Lower levels of empathy for others ◦ Higher levels of antisocial behavior ◦More aggressive ◦Less mature moral judgment ◦ Decreased popularity with peers

Four Basic Goals of Misbehavior

Attention getting - nagging, pestering - parents might feel annoyed, not angry - reminders, coaxing them - if child is performing this behavior, do not feed into it and reinforce it; calm down and don't have a knee jerk response - ignore it or wait for it to stop then give attention - behaviorism: extinction Social Power - parents feel annoyed or threatened - chores, bedtime, tv time, curfew, dressing - try not to escalate the power struggle - disengage- figure out what it is about Revenge - comes out of a power struggle - children will say something/do something hurtful - parent feels hurt, angry guilty, parent might try to get revenge - parent must refuse to feel hurt by this - not winning so they want to get even - tell the child they are being hurtful Displaying Inadequacy - he/she believes they cant do something - overtime, the adult believes it - reinforces that they are in adequate - small victories- scaffolding so the child can be successful

Assumptions of Democratic Parenting

Behavior is purposeful and caused It is necessary to understand behavior within its social context - same behavior could mean different things in different circumstances Goals of misbehavior explain unacceptable actions of children To understand child's behavior must understand their interpretation of event - Childs perspective Family Council -- Belonging to social groups is basic need of all people. - family meetings weekly or bi weekly - everyone has a say even children, but children do not always get what they want - discuss consequences for breaking rules - could even have parental rules Using Logical versus Natural Consequences Using encouragement instead of reward - possible child did not make an achievement but you still encourage along the way

Cultural Diversity (individualist and collectivist) How do these shape parenting and parenting goals?

Collectivistic 1. Emphasizes interdependence among family members. - co sleeping, parents working with children (feeding and dressing), slings over strollers 2. Emphasizes doing what is good for the family or group, not the individual, responsibility and obligation to others. - whats best for the fam - jobs and marriage 3. Does not encourage open expression of feeling and conflict. 4. Obeying authority and social norms. - kids wont blame teacher for bad grade 5. Maintain closer emotional ties with children into adulthood - kids living near parents 6. Emphasizes close proximity and more physical contact..."skinship." individualistic 1. Emphasizes independence, autonomy, self reliance. - encouragement getting a job 2. More likely to open expression of feeling and accept conflict. - especially in middle class 3. Emphasizes doing what the person/child wants—individual achievements are highlighted. - deans list, school awards 4. Encourage competitiveness. 5. Promote questioning and exploration. - especially middle and upper class, govt., authority 6. Include children in decision making.

Millennial Traits: Conventional

Comfortable with parents' values • See rules as important (even if they don't like them) • Education that represent basic human value - respect and accountability

What Does Discipline Mean?

Cultural ideas have evolved about what children need and how best to teach them. - shift in he;ping chjildren learn what they should do rather than not to do The term is derived from disciple, meaning pupil or student. Means to teach, learn and guide Discipline IS NOT just about punishing children. Actions should be positive, reasonable, and temperate.

Stealth Fighter Parents

GenX parents have advocated for them at every turn and twist in the road: They keep a close watch on them and get along with them. • fought for school reform • demanded transparency • imposed accountability • removed their child from schools that appeared to be failing (Howe & Straus, 2007). • K-12 teachers have responded by providing constant feedback and structure for these students.

Methods and Approaches to Guidance

Most stress a reduction in the use of parental power over children They seek to improve children's impulsiveness and promote learning of structure. They emphasize the use of nurturance as well as structure They emphasize adults' understanding of what children need based on their developmental level and individual needs.

Guidelines for Consequences

Must occur close in time to the misbehavior Children must realize unpleasant experience is result of their own deliberate misbehavior - not parent anger or harassment Must be consistent Should make sense - not be more severe than misbehavior Respond in private Use sparingly

Parents as Teachers

Parents are first teachers. Parents socializing their children into adulthood. Preparing next generation for adulthood is filled with uncertainties - preparing children to be socially competent in the world they know - hard to know/predict what the world will be like - 4 categories we can prepare kids for 1. integrity- honest and law abiding 2. self-efficacy- developing goals/objectives and obtaining them; "i can do this" attitude 3. interpersonal and coping skills- help make them successful adults; manners 4. respect for the needs of others- not all about you

Re-ward Oriented Parenting & Positive Reinforcement

Parents or teachers may wish to reinforce children for: Listening attentively; Using appropriate manners (e.g., saying "please," "you are welcome," and "thank you"); Moving and talking in a manner appropriate for the environment (e.g., using "library voices;" "walking feet"); Playing nicely; Completing tasks without reminders; and Calling or texting if they will be late. Examples of rewards and positive reinforcements include: Complimenting a child's behavior (e.g., "I really like the way you put all of your clothes away in your room"); Praising a child's actions (e.g., "I am proud of how hard you studied for your spelling quiz."); Giving additional privileges; Clapping or cheering; Thanking them for behaving a certain way (e.g., "Thank you very much for asking such a detailed question;" "I really appreciate you using your inside voice while we were at the museum."); Making sure they overhear you telling someone else about their positive behavior; Smiling at them; and Giving tangible rewards (e.g., stickers, incentives). In order for these methods to be effective, rewards or incentives must: be important or valuable to the child, occur immediately after the desired behavior, and consistently be implemented.

LGBTQ Families

• For LGBTQ parents, a key issue is to what extent can families be open without fear of discrimination and prejudice. - community settings, less supportive: more protective, hidden fam, bullying; more supportive: less bullying, violence, prejudice • Non-supportive communities there is more protective work for parents to do. • Children and parents are making decisions about disclosure and openness, and these will be shaped by level of acceptance and support within their community. • Gender identity and expression (e.g., non-binary, trans) of children. • The emotional wellbeing and mental health of children is related to family acceptance of gender identity/expression. • Sexual orientation of children (LGBG). • The emotional wellbeing and mental health of children is related to family acceptance of sexual orientation. • Quality of relationship between parents and children is indicator of successful relationship, regardless of children's sexual orientation or gender identity and expression

Boomers as Millennial Parents (Helicopter Parents)

• Helicopter parents - always hovering, ultra protective, unwilling to let go and quick to enlist the team (physician, lawyer, psychiatrist, etc). Now Stealth Fighter parents. • A generation of parents focused more on children than anything else in their lives. • Parents will meddle, fuss and even rant if they feel their special child isn't getting the best of everything. - advocating for kids • Parenting is a competitive sport. • Cell phone is often blamed for the explosion of helicopter parenting - "the world's longest umbilical cord." • The Good.... • More diverse and accepting of diversity • Lots of positive attributes and values • The Not so Good... • Overachievers, high anxiety, high stress, medicated, healthy selfesteem? • Resentful parents of self-centered children • Liberating individuals but losing our sense of connection to community, family, others.

Future for Gen Z Artificial maturity, grateful to parents and embrace parents' overprotection

• Help them find compass not map • Artificial Maturity (Elmore, 2012) - have experiences without wisdom and understanding. Twenge (2017) reports they have "maturity fears" - want to return to security of childhood. Being a child is associated with less stress and more fun - "adult" or "adulting' has become a verb - which means less fun. • GenZ grateful to their parents - they don't rebel against parents' overprotection they embrace it.

Millennial Traits: Pressured and Scheduled

• Higher college admission standards • National Standards -- Assessment • Difficulty or mediocrity met by the team (coaches, doctors, tutors, specialized instructors, therapists) • Highly scheduled lives • Zero tolerance

Contemporary Influences on Parenting

• Historically, child-rearing practices less restrictive, more emphasis on psychological well-being. • More gender sharing in family and parenting roles. • Societal issues of poverty, employment (recessions, depressions, inflation) and educational issues (availability, cost, location) impact families. • Worldwide terrorism is issue since 9/11. Sense of safety or danger. • Technology - internet and social media - have impacted communication patterns, education, privacy, and other aspects of family life. • Political issues of family formation choices, reproductive rights, civil rights, immigration law impact families.

Generation X (1961-1981)

• Hurried childhood of divorce, latchkeys, open classrooms and devil child movies • Parents worked hard and away from home often. • Self esteem crisis - task forces formed • Lower test scores, higher crime and delinquency rates, higher teen pregnancy rates - put "Nation at Risk" • More hardened edge - grunge to hip hop • Lean toward pragmatism and non-affiliation - rather volunteer than vote. • Era of political, military and economic failures • First generation adept with technology - prefer informal communication and via email

Children of Traditional cultures

• In traditional cultures, children generally accept the authority of the parents - and also expressing a strong sense of attachment to their fams • And also expressing a strong sense of attachment to their families • Extended family members, especially grandparents, provide opportunities for guidance and closeness. • Thus, children in those families receive guidance and support from parents as well as from other adult family members.

Social Class and Parenting

• Lower SES parents reflect a more "parent centered" approach or "natural growth" approach. • Those parents emphasize children's obedience and conformity to parental rules without discussion or explanation. • They also spend less time reading with their children and less time in other verbal interactions with them. - children will grow and develop naturally - not getting involved in extra curricula's, don't have money but also don't see it as a need, give them more free time to "figure it out" The Impact of Higher Socioeconomic Status on Parenting Patterns • Higher SES parents tend to adopt a "child-centered" or "concerted cultivation" to parenting. • Seek out opportunities to develop children's skills and abilities. - kids get over scheduled, kids don't have time to play on their own • Seek to understand children's feelings and motivations. • More verbal with children. - professional parents speak about 3 times as much to their kids as low income parents • Professional parents speak about three times as much to their children as do low-income parents. Why these parenting differences by SES? • Differences in parenting approaches are related to the job experiences of parents in these two groups. • Lower SES parents (working class and poor families) are order takers. Following rules and obedience are important. - retail, cleaning, factories, this is what kids need to be successful • Higher SES parents have professional jobs where creativity, input, curiosity, innovation are values and important.

Millenial Generation (1982-1994)

• More diverse • Child abuse and child safety hot topics • Virtues and values best sellers • Adult issues looked at as effect on kids • Higher education standards, school uniforms, and cooperative learning • Lower levels of drinking and drug use- peaked 1996 and declined since • Violent crimes by youth peaked 1993 and declined

Culture and Social Competence

• Most research in child development & parenting uses US samples. • WEIRD society (Western, educated, industrialized, rich, and democratic) • What we view as "social competence" varies by cultural values. Western culture very child-centered with self-sufficiency goal. • Social competence in collectivistic cultures relates more to interdependence, obedience, and promoting the goals of the group.

Millennial Traits: Confident

• Optimistic -- 90% teens say personally happy and excited about the future • Good things happen if make right choice • Less of intellectual risk takers - conformists - fear failure • Trusting of parents and government

Millennial Traits: Special

• Precious "Baby on Board" • Family size and income - decline and increase, in crease in investment and importance • Vital to nation and parents' sense of purpose - child focused laws • Parenting shift - now a full time job • Child-centered cultural shift - adults evaluate how well you parent • Focus on consumer market

Compare Gen Z to Millennials

• Realistic vs. Optimistic - Gen Z raised during Recession. • Independent vs. collaborative • Digital Natives vs Digital Pioneers • Private vs Public (don't share info on social media) • Face-to-face vs digital (technology helps them strike balance) • On-demand education vs Formal education • Role hopping vs job hopping - would like to try different jobs within company and want to make money • Global Citizen vs Global spectator

What is traditional parenting?

• The traditional parenting pattern may be seen in families in the United States if influences of another culture... such as immigrant or refugee families. - some use corporal punishment which is frowned upon • The value of collectivism as well as more involvement of extended family in childrearing is seen in these families. • In collectivist cultures (in non-Western and ethnic minority families), the responsibilities of parents are extended to grandparents and other family members. • Those extended family members offer greater support to mothers with young children, especially among the poorest households • Those families are more likely to have grandparents living in their household or nearby. • Children's relationships with grandparents are highly valued in traditional cultures. - elders respected and look to them for wisdom, advice

Generational theory (Howe & Strauss, 2000, Dougherty, 2000; Pipher, 1999)

• Whatever era we're living in, tend to think future will be straight line extension of present - but that is never true (Howe & Strauss, 2000) • Every generation tries to improve on previous one (Dougherty, 2000) • Every generation has special way of showing love to next generation; it's just next generation may have trouble valuing it (Mary Pipher) - generations may have different definitions of love and ways of showing it

Millennial Traits: Team Oriented

• Worked and involved in teams since toddlerhood • Cooperative learning • Play groups • Community Service • Organized activities

Millennial Traits: Sheltered

• Zero Tolerance in School - if you fit the criteria you get the punishment • Highly supervised - most watched over • Never ridden bike without helmet • Never ridden in car without seatbelt • Car seats, metal detectors, childproof bottles, Megan's law, Amber alert, sunscreen .... • Emotional and learning disability focus - use of medications - diagnosis of ADHD and ADD increases • Rely on authority and trust adults

Statistics on Physical Punishment

•70-94% of parents say they used spanking (Straus) • Decreased somewhat over past 30 years but still used a lot • About 50% of families report using physical punishment. • About 2/3 of parents of preschoolers spanked their children • 60% of caregivers reported using physical punishment • One study 81% parents reported using mild-moderate physical punishment (Brookings Institute, 2014)

Research on Physical Punishment (Baumrind, Strauss, and other critiques)

•Immediate compliance, but risk long term psychological harm to children (Gershoff, 2016). •Gershoff (2016) reviewed 88 studies and found children who received physical discipline were more likely to be aggressive, antisocial and delinquent and had less selfconfidence and poorer relationships with parents. •Baumrind believes effects of spanking depends on context of parent-child relationship. Gershoff (2016) found these Negative Outcomes related to physical punishment: •Mental health problems •Difficult relationships with parents •Lower self-esteem •Lower academic performance

Learning Theory Reinforcement (positive and negative) Punishment

•Reinforcement vs. Punishment •Reinforcement want to increase likelihood that behavior repeats •Positive reinforcement = adding something to increase likelihood behavior reoccur (Token economy) •Negative reinforcement = taking something away to increase likelihood behavior reoccurs (Time out) •Punishment want to decrease or stop a behavior from reoccurring Issues with punishment •Attempts to punish might actually serve as a reinforcement •Example: if the child is misbehaving for attention •In most cases, punishment is not logically related to the child's problematic behavior •If the child spills milk and the parent scolds the child, where's the logic? •A side effect of punishment is that it compromises the parent-child relationship

Are Spanking and Physical Abuse Connected

•Spanking is hitting. •Research has repeatedly found that the more parents' spank, the greater the risk that they will injury or abuse their children. •The association between spanking and child outcomes is two-thirds the size of the association between abusive or injurious hitting and the same outcomes. •75% of physical abuse cases in Canada started as corporal punishment to correct a perceived child misbehavior