Pathways to Conflict Management - Test 2

chilling effect cycle

-The prelude to conflict may include a history of messages from the feared partner that suggested ending the relationship -when triggering event is perceived, the more fearful partner must consider whether the conflict is worth the effort -The conflict is not dealt with -Unresolved grievances leads to a decreased in a commitment to the relationship. -After several cycles of unresolved conflicts and decreased commitment, partners may simple cycle out of the relationship altogether. PG 115

Steps to forgiveness

1. The account and the apology 2. Acceptance of an Account and an Apology or Its Absence 3. Forgiveness May or May Not Be Communicated 4. Transforming the Relationship, if desired 5. Actions Confirm Forgiveness and Reconciliation ● Self-Fulfilling Prophecies: people act towards us in the way that we expect

ABC Model

A = Stressful Event B = Resources C = Perceptions of "A" X = Outcome (crisis or adaptation)

Sociogram

A diagram or chart that shows individuals and their relationships to one another. This demonstrates how conflict is interacting with relationships. Circles to identify participants Double ended arrow to identify conflict Straight line to represent relationship One sided arrow is the communication line *example on slides 3-6 Coltri ch. 6*

Diversity issues in conflict

A diversity issue is one involving the apparent or actual membership of conflict participants in diverse social groups. The term social group includes nationality, ethnicity, gender, race, cultural or subcultural affiliation, religious affiliation, and professional affiliation - any affiliation that involves the sharing of special values, communication styles, or patterns of behavior; tends to be the subject of stereotyping by others; or is associated with inequities of power, compared with other groups involved in the conflict. Three types: Stereotyping Culture Power

Harmful Conflict Climate

Conflict management produces destructive and negative results when it suffers from a harmful conflict climate, consisting of threats of power abuse, competition, distrust, and defensiveness. This is where avoidance and competition cycles may come in

6 Step Confrontation Process

Confrontation - interpersonal conflict communication process in which the parties call attention to problems or issues as they occur between them and express their feelings, beliefs, and wants to one another. 1. Preparation: Identify your problems/needs/issues 2. Arrange with the person 3. Interpersonal Confrontation 4. Consider Your Partner's Point of View 5. Manage the Problem 6. Follow Up on the Solution

Culture

Cultural issues arise out of unwarranted beliefs that someone from a different culture is exactly like you Cultural differences in self-concept and identity Cultural differences in values Cultural difference in frame of reference Cultural differences in communication and etiquette Cultural differences in orientation to conflict

Defensive vs. Supportive Behavior

Defensive behaviors are carried out when a person feels threatened during communication and feels the need to defend him or herself. Supportive communication is important as humans interact, as people need to feel a connection with other people.

DEARMAN

Describe, Express, Assert, Reinforce, stay Mindful Appear Confident, Negotiate Clearly and concisely describe the facts of the situation, without any judgment. Use "I" statements to express your emotions. Clearly state what you want or need. Be specific when giving instructions or making requests. Reward the other person if they respond well to you. Being mindful of your goal means not getting sidetracked or distracted by other issues. Use body language to show confidence, even if you don't feel it. Know the limits of what you are willing to accept, but be willing to compromise within them.

Instrumental/Task Conflict

Disagreement over how to get the job done Sometimes asking others for help is good, sometimes it complicates things

Forgiveness vs. Reconciliation

FORGIVENESS: Process undertaken by one person in relation to another with or without interaction with the person RECONCILIATION: The process of re-establishing relationship, renewing trust, and setting differences.

Advantages of forgiveness

Forgiveness benefits our mental health -Holding onto grief and hurt is psychologically unhealthy - The role of forgiveness in counseling and mental health has demonstrated that teaching people about forgiveness helped increase recovery from divorce, decreasing feelings of guilt, depression, and anxiety. Also raising the feeling of self-esteem and improving perceptions of self-efficacy. ● Forgiveness benefits our physical health - People who have high levels of trait-like unforgiveness tend to experience higher levels of pain than those who have lower levels -Those who are able to forgive sleep better than those who do not -People who have high levels of trait-like forgiveness experience lower blood pressure and better recovery from incidents that raise blood pressure compared to those with low trait-like forgiveness.

I-Statements

I-statements personalize the conflict by owning up to our feelings rather than making them the responsibility of the other person Advantages include providing others with necessary information, revealing the truth, and reducing defensiveness. I feel... when I... because I (think, believe)... I'd like (want or wish)... Feelings statement - description of your feeling, don't make it vague Problematic behavior statement - a description of the upsetting behavior Consequences statement - description of the consequences Goal statement - description of what you want specifically

Intersectionality

Intersectionality is the acknowledgement that everyone has their own unique experiences of discrimination and oppression and we must consider everything and anything that can marginalise people - gender, race, class, sexual orientation, physical ability, etc.

Intractable issues

Not typically encountered in day-to-day interactions ● Extremely difficult to resolve - communication and negotiation techniques alone are not enough ● Intractable issues are at the center of social conflict - a clash of their world views - Becomes a battle of who is right and who is wrong

Truth Bias

People assume someone is telling the truth because they have developed a friendship. Truth bias makes us more vulnerable and less accurate in detecting deception when it occurs

Conflict Onion

Position- What people enter a conflict saying that they want Aspiration - the practical hope that drive the position -Underlying interest - the underlying issue, what is motivating the person -Use open-ended questions and "why" to get to this Principles and values - what you believe that drives your motivation Basic human needs - water, shelter, safety, air, food, sleep, clothing, reproduction.

Power Abuse

Power abuse is when this power is threatening Do you know someone who abuses their power? Many people use their power to get others to "respect" them

Power (ch. 14)

Power issues arise when cultural, racial, ethnic, or gender-based inequalities in power affect the process and outcome of the conflict Include: racism, sexism, etc. This can happen in ways we don't expect - (example: education) Using inclusive language -Pronouns, gender neutral terms, not saying "Christmas break", guardian vs. parent

Roles

Roles - associated with a set of expectations for the successful performance of a particular job or task Task - help the group work toward expected outcomes. The means to achieving instrumental goals. Conflict over these roles may result in a warning or eventual termination Maintenance - facilitate communication and resolve conflict in the pursuit of task roles Supporting and encouraging others, helping relieve tension, and monitoring feelings Disruptive - unmet personality needs may cause someone to engage in a disruptive role Isolate themselves, demand to be the center of attention, have consistent issues, etc.

S-TLC

Stop, Think, Listen, Communicate S: take a time out, count backwards, collect yourself T: consider the cause and possible outcomes before taking action. L: Eye contact, understand their feelings not the argument, not getting defensive C: speak clearly for yourself/set boundaries, say no without feeling guilty

Power

The ability to influence or control events

Conflicts at stages of development

The forming phase - tremendous amount of unfamiliarity with people who are in the work group and what they bring to it creates some conflicts over differing expectations The storming phase - as people begin to feel some identification with the group but don't really feel a sense of unity around its purpose The performing phase - conflict serves to focus individuals on reaching consensus on expectations regarding problem-solving behaviors and accomplishing instrumental goals. The termination phase - final phase of group development.

Stereotyping

They allow us to make decisions about people and situations with little information. When we stereotype, we are attributing characteristics and behaviors to a social group. This can have two major impacts: - The attributions that one makes as a result of stereotyping may be wrong - It is demeaning This impacts us during conflict because we may be completely wrong about how to navigate a conflict with someone when we stereotype them. Sometimes we also assume things about how people perceive us and our culture

Types of Speech

Thromise - something that sounds like a promise but functions as a threat Powerful speech - using speech to dominate and control Powerless speech - talking up to others, making requests, or asking questions Neutral speech - talks to others as equals and relies on objective language

Trust

Trust - firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability or strength of someone. Distrust - doubt the honesty or reliability of someone Unhealthy trust - being gullible Healthy trust - we gain the trust of others over time

Groupthink

When people are so committed to the people, goals, and/or ideals of a group that they fail to engage in conflict when they should

Work-life Conflicts

Work-life conflicts between one's personal life and the demands of work exist in two directions: the outside responsibility may interfere with one's job performance, or the job may interfere with one's adequately managing a responsibility outside of work

intrapersonal conflict

conflict that arises within a person (internal

Interpersonal Conflict

conflict that occurs between two or more individuals

Nurturing Conflict Climate

consisting of equal power, cooperation, trust, and supportive behavior that encourage openness, assertiveness, collaboration, and mutually satisfying outcomes The goal is to change a harmful climate into a nurturing one

Process Conflict

disagreements over the management style that is typical of a particular organization

Category-based Processing

draw inferences about the person and fit them into a category

Systematic Processing

gather the information we need from scratch We use this when we have more time and are more motivated

Lucifer Effect

get so caught up in the situation they are experiencing that they begin to act in ways that are harmful When you cannot separate yourself from the role How the roles play into one another We should be able to ask : What if we did it this way? How could we do this better?

Relationship Conflict

issues of power, trust, supportiveness, competition, and differences over the rules that govern various types of workplace relationships This could be between level differences as well as friendships

Identity Conflict

one's desire for status, prestige, and authority. When others treat a person contrary to the way that person sees himself or herself, this causes identity conflict.

Core relational rules

our expectations about the way we should behave toward others as well as the way they should behave toward us

Conflict Climate

psychological atmosphere impacting a conflict, to these opposing concepts: imbalance of power versus equity, competitive versus cooperation, distrust versus trust, and groupthink versus individual decision making

Interest

the considerations that motivate people in a conflict: the reasons underlying the positions that people take in a conflict (also known as principles, values, and needs)

abuse

the physical, mental, emotional, or sexual mistreatment of one person by another Verbal abuse: One of the most common forms of non-physical violence, which can be defined as psychological intimidation and attacking the self-concept of another person to cause emotional distress and pain. • Verbal abuse often plays a role in conflicts that turn physically violent, it is part of a pattern of escalation that frequently leads to physical aggression. • Forms of psychological intimidation: character attacks, insults, ridicule, profanity, threats, stereotypical and prejudice remarks. • Text example: "Men who were raised in violent families are more likely to be verbally aggressive, domineering, and negative with their dating partners, showing potential for physical aggression" (p. 112).

Workplace conflict

the same as interpersonal conflict, but the interdependence among the parties involves workplace relationships

Position

the stances or demands taken by disputants in an interpersonal conflict

violence

•An act of physical force that causes or is intended to cause harm. The damage inflicted by violence may be physical, psychological, or both. • Physical violence • Verbal violence • Psychological violence • Socio-economic violence • Cultural violence • Religious violence Domestic violence

Anger management

•Conflict situations are associated with many emotional responses ( excitement, sadness, resentment and anger) •Anger is a strong feeling of displeasure like rage or antagonism •A lot of times when anger drives you in a conflict situation a lot of people don't remember remember what originally caused the argument •Many times, to win an argument people resort to physical violence or discomfort •Anger can occur instantly like an eruption in people who aren't generally viewed as hostile or aggressive because it's been festering for days months or even years •For some it goes with their personality and its lying beneath the surface and can quickly manifest in the form of hostility •Reasearch indicates that those people have a trait-like anger where they experience anger more frequently, intensely, and for a longer period •People who have high anger traits process events differently than those with lower traits of anger and are more prone to lash out to others when confronte

do's and dont's of anger management

•Do •Use your S-TLC skills • Use "I" messages • Try to avoid raising your voice • Keep your body language as open as you can by leaning forward and using nonverbal indicators to show you are listening • Keep your conflict focused on one issue. •Don't •Speaking more loudly or yelling. • Standing over another person or invading their personal space. • Making threatening gestures. • Poking or pushing or shoving another person. •Swearing and cursing.

Types of Stress

•Eustress - Short term •Hypostress - Bored or uncertain •Demotivated - Hyperstress •Too many tasks •Distress -Most extreme anxiety

interpersonal violence

•Occurs when a person imposes his or her will (i.e. wants, needs, or desires) on a friend, romantic partner, family member, or work colleague through verbal or physical intimidation •Has physical, emotional, and mental effects •Ranges from relatively minor (verbal threats, threatening gestures) to extreme acts of physical aggression, torture, and bodily harm •Ranges from carefully planned attacks to sudden emotional outbursts that injure others •Some may choose aggressive behavior in only one situation for a particular reason (such as revenge), while others choose it in many situations for many reasons

self-talk

•Self-talk can be defined as verbizing, either out loud or to ourselves, inner messages. •It offers a way to talk yourself into avoiding or confronting a conflict and as a means for improving one's self-confidence. •Goal is to focus on the power ad choices we have within our own mind. •Negative self-talk: poor means of controlling in a situation that can lead to more stress.