Soc test 2
Vazonyi & Jenkins (2010) pg. 116:
"Individuals may engage in oral sex rather than sexual intercourse to avoid getting pregnant, to avoid getting an STI, to keep their partner interested, to avoid a bad reputation, and to avoid feeling guilty over having sexual intercourse."
Glass (2014) pg. 142:
"Because black individuals are more likely than white individuals to view homosexual relations as "always wrong," African Americans who are gay or lesbian are more likely to face disapproval from their families than are white lesbians and gays."
Amato (2015a) pg. 153 to 154:
"Being married is associated with positive mental health-happier, less anxiety."
Gender differences in communication: Women
Women and men differ in their approach to and patterns of communication. Women are more communitive about relationships issues, view a situation emotionally, and initiate discussions about relationship problems.
Perceived quality of sex in different types of relationships: Divorced
almost 2 million will have sexual intercourse within one year of being separated, the meanings of this intercourse vary Used to repair self-esteem and to feel loved
Characteristics of those who are more likely to have positive attitudes toward homosexuals:
females, whites, supporters of egalitarian gender roles, younger age, advanced education, no religious affiliation, liberal political party affiliation, and personal contact with homosexuals
Psychological factors in relationship development: Exchange Theory
finding a partner who offers the greatest rewards at the lowest cost Rewards, costs, profit, loss, alternative
Evolutionary: Theories of the origins of love
individuals are motivated to emotionally bond with a partner to ensure a stable relationship for producing and rearing children. Love's strongest bond lasts about four years after birth when the children are most dependent, have another kid then the clock resets.
Sexual scripts or social scripts
the identification of the roles in a social situation, the nature of the relationship between the roles, and the expected behaviors of those roles... two individuals kiss because they are in a relationship where the expectation is such that they are expected to kiss
Psychological factors in relationship development: Complimentary needs theory
(opposites attract) states that we tend to select mates whose needs are opposite yet complementary to our own
Alcohol's effect on quality of sexual experiences
A moderate amount of alcohol can help a person become aroused through a lowering of inhibitions, too much alcohol can slow the physiological processes and deaden the senses Excessive amount of intake for women is a reduced chance of orgasm; for men excessive amounts in a reduced chance of attaining an erection
Easterling et al (2012) pg. 106- Self Disclosure in relationships:
College students keep secrets from their partners... he found that: Most kept secrets- over 60% Females, Spouses, Blacks and Homosexuals kept more secrets 39% reported as the top reason being that "to avoid hurting the partner" "It would alter the relationship" 18% & "I feel so ashamed for what I did" 11%
Sexual fulfillment prerequisites
Condom assertiveness- the unambiguous messaging that sex without condoms is unacceptable and identified the characteristics of undergraduate woman who are more likely to insist on condom use. This is important in not getting STIs or HIV Open sexual communication and feedback- sexually fulfilled partners are comfortable expressing what they enjoy and do not enjoy in the sexual experience Frequent initiation of sexual behavior- researchers found that both men and women who reported initiating sex more frequently and who perceived their partner as initiating more frequently reported greater sexual satisfaction
Sexual fulfillment prerequisites
Having realistic expectations- do not as things of the sexual relationship that is cannot deliver Sexual compliance- an individual willingly agrees to participate in sexual behavior without having the desire to do so Avoid spectatoring- this is mentally observing your sexual performance and that of your partner...avoid this Female vibrator use, orgasm, and partner comfort- most indicated comfort when using and positive sexual satisfaction
Egalitarian marriage:
Husband is expected to meet emotional needs of his wife and children Wife is expected to earn income Emphasis is on companionship Couples often live together before marriage Wife may keep her maiden name. In some cases, he will take her last name Neither spouse is dominant Roles for spouses are flexible Either spouse initiates sex Fathers more involved in child rearing Education is important for both spouses Career of either spouse may determine family residence
Traditional marriage:
Limited expectation of husband to meet emotional needs of wife and children Wife is not expected to earn income Emphasis in on ritual and roles Couples do not live together before marriage Wife takes husband's last name Husband is dominant; wife is submissive Roles for husband and wife are rigid Husband initiates sex; wife complies Wife takes care of children Education is important for husband, not for wife Husband's career decides family residence
Learning: Theories of the origins of love
Love feelings develop in response to certain behaviors engaged in by the partner Love can be viewed as a feeling that results from high frequency of positive behavior and low frequency of negative behavior
Biochemical: Theories of the origins of love
Love is chemical. Oxytocin is an amphetamine-like chemical that bonds mother to child and produces a giddy high in young lovers
Psychosexual: Theories of the origins of love
Love results from blocked biological sexual desires
Motivations to marry
Love: marriage is the ultimate expression of love Personal fulfillment: marry with an anticipation of fulfillment Companionship: greatest expected benefit of marriage, legitimate goal of marriage Parenthood: prefer to have children inside of marriage, this view is becoming more relaxed Economic security: higher household incomes Psychological well-being: marriage is associated with positive mental health, happier, less anxiety
Attachment: Theories of the origins of love
Primary motivation in life is to be connected to others. Children bond with parents and spouses to each other.
Principles of effective communication:
Prioritize communication Avoid negative statements and make positive ones to the partner Establish and maintain eye contact Establish empathy Ask open-ended questions Use reflective listening Use "I" statements Touch Identify specific new behavior one wants Stay focused on the issue and avoid branching Make specific resolutions to disagreements Give congruent messages Share power Keep the process of communication going
Sexual fulfillment prerequisites:
Self-knowledge, body image, and health: know your body, positive body image, good physical and mental health Committed loving relationship- focus on the relationship before the sexual issue, what happens outside the bedroom has a huge impact on what happens inside Equal relationship- By putting aside the gender roles and by women taking the role in initiating sex, taking the dominant role, insisting on her own sexual pleasure, and informing her partner about what she needs, the couple is on the path to a more fulfilling sexual relationship
Perceived quality of sex in different types of relationships: Married
Social legitimacy: most legitimate form of sexual behavior, it is expected that married couples make love... not okay for homosexual, premarital or extramarital intercourse Declining Frequency: occurs about six times a month, which declines as spouses age, pregnancy also decreases frequency, satiation or repeated exposure also reduces frequency Satisfaction (emotional & physical): remains a richly satisfying experience, 88% say received great physical pleasure, 85% say they received great emotional satisfaction
Edwards (2000) pg. 83
The behavior that 60% of a national sample of adult single women reported as the most serious fault of a man was his being "too controlling"
Sociological: Theories of the origins of love
The wheel theory whereby love develops from rapport, self-revelation, mutual dependency, and personality need fulfillment
Characteristics of successful marriages:
Time together or attachment Communication or humor Common interests or positive self-concepts Not materialistic Role models Religiosity Trust, forgiveness, and flexibility Personal and emotional commitment Sexual satisfaction Equitable relationships Marriage or connection rituals Absence of negative statements and attributions Economic security Physical or emotional health Mindset or marriage success Exchange minded Empathy
Gender differences in communication: Men
To men conversations are about winning and achieving the upper hand. They differ in regard to emotionality; men see it as a weakness and don't go at situations with emotions. Women's tend to approach situations with emotions
Tannen (1990 and 2006) pg. 105
To women conversations are negotiations for closeness in which they try "to seek and give confirmations and support, and reach consensus" To men, conversations are about winning and achieving the upper hand
Rites of passage:
an event that marks the transition from one social status to another... starting school, getting a driver's license, and graduating college Wedding is a rite of passage that is both religious and civil Honeymoon is a rite of passage where the couple isolates themselves to recover from the wedding and to solidify their new status change
Communication
as the process of exchanging information and feelings between two people
"Coming out"
being open and honest about one's sexual orientation and identity (particularly to parents) are agonizing to LGBT individuals Risks: Parental and family members reactions, harassment and discrimination at school and the workplace, hate crime victimization Benefits: higher levels of acceptance from parents, lower levels of alcohol and drug consumption, and fewer identity and adjustment problems
Alternative sexual values:Absolutism (asceticism)
is a sexual value system which is based on unconditional allegiance to tradition, religion or law (waiting till marriage to have sex) Asceticism- believe that giving to carnal lust is unnecessary and attempt to rise above the pursuit of sensual pleasure into a life of self-discipline and self-denial
Alternative sexual values: Relativism
is a value system emphasizing that sexual decisions should be made in reference to the emotional, security, and commitment aspects of the relationship, moral correctness of sex outside of marriage depends on the situation They would consider sex between two unmarried people better than sex between two abusive partners.... Or Friends with Benefit
Nonverbal Communication
is the "message about the message" the gestures, eye contact, body posture, ton, and rapidity of speech (80% of interpersonal communication) The greater the congruence between verbal and nonverbal the better. Flirting is an example of the use of both of these out together
Power (in relationships)
is the ability to impose one's will on the partner and to avoid being influenced by partner. One of the greatest dissatisfactions in a relationship is a power imbalance and conflict over power.
Alternative sexual values: Hedonism
is the belief that the ultimate value and motivation for human actions lie in the pursuit of pleasure and the avoidance of pain. 31% of undergraduate males and 19% females defined this as their primary sexual desire
Cultural and social factors in relationship development: Exogamy
is the cultural pressure to marry outside the family group (don't marry siblings, cousins, parents, etc.) (Fear of genetic problems in offspring)
Sexual "double standard"
more prevalent among males and those adhering to the traditional religious scripts, is the view that encourages and accepts sexual expression of men more than women Men can be promiscuous, but women cannot, men are studs & women are sluts For men sexual history is forgiven but for women it may haunt them
Close-ended questions
questions that allow for a one-word answer and do not elicit much information
Open-ended questions
questions that encourage answers that contain a great deal of information
Satiation
repeated exposure to stimulus results in the loss of its ability to reinforce (when married individuals have sex for the thousandth time it isn't as new and exciting) Stimulus loses its value with repeated exposure, speeds disenchantment Happy long-term spouses are unaffected by the principle and do not require newness for excitement or contentment
Perceived quality of sex in different types of relationships: Never Married
report having more sexual partners but lowest level of satisfaction, less emotionally satisfied
Cultural and social factors in relationship development: Endogamy
the cultural expectation to select a marriage partner within one's own social group, such as in the same race, religion, and social class.
Cultural and social factors in relationship development: Homogamy
the tendency for the individual to seek a mate with similar characteristics (age, race, education) ...the more couples have in common the more satisfaction and more durable the relationship Race, Age, Intelligence, Education, Open-mindedness, Social class, Physical appearance, Marital status, Religion/Spirituality/Politics, Personality, Circadian Preference, Traditional roles, Geographic background, Economic values, money management and debt