Week 1

Advantages to an appeal to values:

Builds support for a position and energizes people

How can we determine if value differences are genuinely and inescapably a core element of a conflict?

By articulating the relevant values and beliefs that we think are in play, and doing so in affirmative terms (what people believe in rather than what they don't believe in).

How can people empower themselves?

By naming a conflict, by confronting their own avoidant tendencies, by finding a voice and constructing an effective conflict narrative, by getting clear about their own genuine needs and those of others, by developing effective alternatives, by informing themselves about the issues involved, by gaining experience in raising issues effectively, and in many other ways.

Who developed the circle of conflict?

Christopher Moore

Thomas-Kilman's five general strategies people use to approach conflict:

Collaboration, accommodation, competition, avoidance, compromise

meta-communication

Communicating about communicating

Behavioral variables:

Direct versus indirect, relational versus substantive, submissive versus dominant, threatening versus conciliatory

Accommodation:

Focuses more on satisfying others' interests

Who must have power in order for a conflict to develop?

For a conflict to develop, all involved must have some power that they can bring to bear, even if it is slight.

Where are most intimacy needs met?

In family and friendship structures

Unrealistic component of conflict:

Involves people's need for some from of energy release

Compromise:

Is directed toward sharing losses and gains jointly.

A second school of thought on conflict:

It is better to act preventatively, to have the courage to engage in a. Difficult process, and to deal with feelings or concerns proactively. Although conflict is inevitable, we have a role in determining whether it is destructive or constructive, and that it is not conflict itself that we need to fear but how it is handled.

Flexibility of response

One important predictor of how well people will handle conflict in their lives

How many people must believe that there is a conflict in order for it to exist?

1

Resources

Access to resources, such as money, time, or labor, is a major source of power — a related source is the ability to provide or deny resources to others.

Behavioral

Actions

Normative approach to influencing others' behavior

Appealing to other people's values, beliefs, and best selves.

What two things do we need to look at in trying to understand a conflict?

Both eh individual patterns of behavior in conflict and the different styles of interaction that particular disputants establish with one another.

What is the currency of conflict?

Power

Community needs:

Refers to that aspect of people's identity that derives from feeling connected with groups with which they can identify and in which they feel recognized.

What is often argued concerning resolutions that address interests but not needs?

That they are less meaningful, more Band-Aids than real solutions

Risk taking versus risk averse

The major goal for some in conflict is to minimize risk or potential harm. For others the primary goal is to maximize the possible benefits that might be accrued. The former's approach to conflict is characterized by caution, the latter's by risk taking.

Interests:

The most easily accessible or observable type of need

A revealing window into how people approach conflict:

The narratives they construct te explain their disputes

We can think of interests as:

The practical concerns that drive participants in most conflicts

How can the realistic component be satisfied?

The realistic component requires a satisfactory outcome of solution, one that addresses people's essential interests

Avoidance through denial

The simplest (and most primitive) approach is frequently the most prevalent. Often people deny that a conflict exists, hoping that in some way the denial will become the reality. Sometimes the existence of a conflict is acknowledged, but its scope or magnitude is minimized.

What happens if disputants do not develop their ability to be effective in an adversarial context?

They often fail to give others a reason to work collaboratively with them.

What happens if disputants are too preoccupied with preparing for an adversarial encounter?

They will create a momentum that is hard to escape, and they will complicate the process of developing hte rapport and establishing the communication necessary to work collaboratively.

Contrary to popular belief, what is sometimes the wisest course concerning emotions in conflict?

To contain our feelings until a more appropriate opportunity for dealing with them presents itself.

What is often the best way to enhance one's power?

To develop better choices

What is the purpose of conflict behavior, regardless of tone?

To either express the conflict or to get one's needs met.

What happens if we fail to look at the deeper levels of interests?

We are likely to end up working on the wrong issues and overlooking some important areas of mutual concern.

What are disputants most likely to talk about when you ask what a conflict is about?

What happened or what they wan to happen—behavior

Do systems and structures generally experience conflict along all three dimensions?

Yes

Linear versus holistic:

A linear style is characterized by taking issues one at a time and considering facts, options, costs, and benefits sequentially. In the linear style fo communication, one person speaks at a time and one subject is considered at a time. People employing a holistic style consider many issues simultaneously and move around easily among a focus on interest, an expression of feelings, a consideration of solutions, and a discussion of issues. In holistic communication, people may speak about several different things at once.

What is involved in the de facto partnership with informal and powerful norms and strategies that allows for successful communication?

A reciprocal process of sending and receiving messages about how to communicate, what is working in an interchange, and how to adjust communication to make it work better.

Relational versus substantive

A relational style focuses on building, repairing, or maintaining a relationship, whereas a substantive style is oriented toward addressing the issues in dispute

What is one of the best services interveners can offer in a conflict where emotional interchange is needed?

A safe container fo rate expression of intense feelings

Wheel of conflict:

A tool for considering where people are stuck, where insights are needed, and where opportunities to improve a situation can be found.

The narratives people use provide what?

A window into the cognitive dimension and a means of working on the cognitive element of conflict

The six most prevalent roles in conflict:

Advocate (negotiator), decision maker (arbitrator), facilitator (mediator), conciliator (empathizer), information provider (expert), observer (witness, audience)

Eight distinct methods of avoidance seem prevalent in conflict:

Aggressive avoidance, passive avoidance, passive aggressive avoidance, avoidance through hopelessness, avoidance through surrogates, avoidance through denial, avoidance through premature problem solving, avoidance by folding

Aggressive avoidance:

Aggressive behavior is sometimes an effort to avoid conflict. For many people aggressive behavior is best understood as an effort to intimidate others and thus keep them from engaging in a conflict. Escalation can be fight as a means to flight.

Advantages of uncle are communication:

Allows us to move forward despite our differences by obscuring disagreements or different interpretations of agreements - this can eventually cause worse conflict, but sometimes it allows us to get through a particularly problematic interaction successfully.

Can disputants choose whether or not to define a conflict by values?

Although some conflicts are inescapable about fundamental value differences, more often disputants have a choice about whether they will define a conflict in this way.

Sources for a sense of community:

An actual physical neighborhood or geographical area, group affiliations, social action organization, church, synagogue, or mosque, an athletic or artistic subculture, a profession, or an ethnic group

What do people need to participate effectively in conflict?

An adequate basis of power. They require enough power that others must at least consider their concerns and enough power to resist any solution that fundamentally violates their interests.

An example of constructive manipulation:

An elderly parent is increasingly unreliable driving. The parent may be very resistant to openly giving up the "right" to drive. Suppose, however, that alternative arrangements are always made for transportation, the car license is not renewed, and the parent goes along with this, without ever actually agreeing not to drive.

Conflicts with a long history cannot easily be addressed without:

An understanding of the complicated systems of interaction that have developed over time and the degree to which the conflict has become part of the disputants' identity.

Cognitive variables:

Analytical versus intuitive, linear versus holistic, integrative versus distributive, outcome focused versus process focused

Utilitarian approach

Appealing to people's self-interest or to indicate that they will obtain certain tangible benefits if they do what we wish

Power-based approaches

Are often destructive, are sometimes violent, and seldom lead directly to improved relations. However, they are not always harmful.

Advocate/negotiator

Arguing or pushing for a particular outcome or set of interests

Do groups, organizations, communities, and societies have conflict styles?

As parties to conflict these entities do exhibit styles of conflicting, but this does not mean that all the individuals who make up each entity themselves share these approaches.

Submissive versus dominant

At one end of this continuum are those who are always content to let others take the lead in a conflict interaction, even when they are in extreme disagreement with them. At the other end are those who must be the driving force of the process. Sometimes the submissive style is actually the most powerful in controlling the course and outcome of a conflict—meekness and humility can be a morally effective strategy and can induce others to work very hard to obtain the submissive disputants' agreement.

Are distributive applications of power sometimes necessary?

At times the only way to attain a satisfactory outcome is to do so at someone else's expense.

Indirection of manipulation approach to conflict

At times this approach may be a form of conflict avoidance, but it can also characterize a conflict engagement strategy.

Situational attribution:

Attributes behavior to the situation

Structural components of conflict include:

Available resources, decision-making procedures, time constraints, legal requirements, communication mechanisms, and physical settings

Our attitudes toward conflict are in part the result of how we:

Balance our belief that conflict ought to be avoided with the recognition that avoidance is itself a major problem.

Conflict is seen as arising from:

Basic human instincts, from competition for resources and power, from the structure of the societies and institutions people create, from flawed communication, and from teh inevitable struggle between classes.

Why do we often default to a dispositional attribution in conflict?

Because it is easier and perhaps emotionally more gratifying than taking personal responsibility or looking for systemic or structural explanations.

One reason conflict frequently escalates:

Because we act on the assumption that we have communicated or understood someone else's communication accurately when we have not.

Why is it hard for us to compromise when our core beliefs are in play?

Because we feel we are compromising our sense of integrity and self.

Values:

Beliefs we have about what is important, what distinguishes right from wrong and good from evil, and what principles should govern how we lead our lives.

Cognitive variables definition:

Cognitive variables describe differences in how people make sense of conflict, how they present heir ideas and needs, and how they approach the problem-solving process.

Conflict merges and is experienced along what three dimensions:

Cognitive, emotional, behavioral

One of the greatest sources of both difficulty and hope in dealing with serious conflicts:

Communication

Data can be viewed as an issue within which two sources of conflict?

Communication and structure

Five sources of conflict:

Communication, emotions, values, structure, and history

Procedural interests:

Concerns about a process for interacting, communication, or decision making

Psychological interests:

Concerns about how one is treated, respected, or acknowledged

Substantive interests:

Concerns about tangible benefits

Alternatives to using the term "interests"

Concerns, what is important, or needs

Behavioral dimension of conflict

Conflict is also understood and experienced as the actions that people take to express their feelings, articulate their perceptions,and get their needs met, particularly when doing so has the potential for interfering with others' needs

Emotional dimension of conflict:

Conflict is experienced as an emotional reaction to a situation or interaction

Our approach to conflict may be heavily influenced and at times even determined by what?

Core values concerning conflict

Factors that may contribute to communication problems:

Culture, gender, age, class, cognitive capacity, and environment

Four variables that seem particularly important to understand as contextual factors that cut across all the sources of conflict:

Culture, power, personality, and data

Information

Data and knowledge are important sources of power.

Data as a contextual factor:

Data themselves are not seen as a major source of conflict, but how data are handled and communicated can exacerbate conflict.

Decision maker/arbitrator

Deciding among competing positions or claims

An additional complicating factor:

Different disputants often experience a conflict at different levels

What is the relationship between sources of conflict and challenges for conflict engagement?

Different sources of conflict produce different challenges for conflict engagement.

Constructive alternatives to direct displays of emotion in conflict situations:

Discuss feelings without demonstrating them, work toward establishing a safe environment for hte expression of emotions, let emotions out in safe increments, or express them to a third party rather than directly to the other person

The "conflict dance"

Disputants cocreate a system of interaction

Conflictants adopt a new style

Disputants sometimes find a third way—one that is completely different from either of their natural tendencies but allows them to interact. In this circumstance, each participant moves into a relatively new approach—one that can move the conflict forward in a productive or nonproductive way.

Essence of the interest—based approach

Disputants try to deal with the conflict by discussing the various needs they have as opposed to trying to impose a solution through the application of power or the assertion of rights.

How can we find a way to work at both levels when disputants are experiencing a conflict a different levels?

Each party has to be willing to address the conflict at the level at which it is experienced by others, but disputants are often resistant to doing this.

Why do people engage in conflict?

Either because they have needs that are met by the conflict process itself or because they have needs that they can only attain (or believe they can only attain) by engaging in conflict.

Emotional variables definition:

Emotional variables describe people's attitudes and feelings concerning conflict and how they handle these in conflict.

Competition:

Emphasizes one's own interests

Emotions

Energy that fuels conflict

Emotional variables:

Enthusiastic versus reluctant, risk taking versus risk averse, emotional versus rational, volatile versus unprovocable

A direct display of feelings can:

Escalate a conflict

The need for meaning has to do with:

Establishing a purpose for one's life, existence, actions, and struggles

Legal prerogative

Everyone has rights and choices defined by law or policy

A variation on the power of information:

Expert power. This is the power that derives from having expertise relevant to a conflict or access to such expertise.

When might manipulation be necessary?

Exploited and disempowered people often have no alternative for addressing their needs in a conflict except to use indirection or manipulation. Manipulation may be motivated by a sense of powerlessness or vulnerability.

Emotional

Feelings

What may be essential to progress if disputants are experiencing a conflict at different levels?

Finding a way to work at both levels

One possible challenge for interveners in many conflicts:

Finding an adequate way to deal with the feelings of all participants so that these are neither ignored nor allowed to escalate out of control.

Dealing with the intense emotions often associated with conflict usually requires:

Finding some opportunity to express and release emotions and to experience someone else's understanding and empathy

The art of dealing with conflict often lies in:

Finding the narrow path between the useful expression of emotions and destructive polarization.

Who popularized the concept of interests and interest-based negotiation?

Fisher and Urey in Getting to Yes

Specific sources of power:

Formal authority, social legitimacy, legal prerogative, information, association, resources rewards and sanctions, nuisance, procedural power, habitual power, moral power, personal characteristics, perception of power, definitional power,

Our approach to conflict derives from what?

From what we have been taught about conflict, our experiences in conflict, our personality, culture, the nature of the conflicts we find ourselves in, and the roles we are playing.

Identity needs:

Fundamental to our sense of ourselves

Three kinds of bias:

Fundamental, actor-observer, and intergroup

Habitual power

Habitual power derives from being in the position of trying to prevent change as opposed to fomenting it. Sometimes this is referred to as the power of inertia.

Dispositional attribution:

Has to do with attributing behavior to personality traits

Personal power

Has to do with individual characteristics, such as determination, knowledge, charisma, wit, courage, energy, and communication skills.

Facilitator/mediator

Helping others communicate and negotiate

Whether we will succeed in accomplishing our aims depends in part on what?

How much power we are able to muster and how wise we are in using it

An essential part of the conflict story is:

How parties correlate their experiences of a conflict

What does our description of conflict usually reflect?

How we are experiencing the conflict - Conflict can be described using the language of feeling, perception, or action.

What lies at the core of all conflicts?

Human needs

What is at the center of the wheel of conflict?

Human needs that drive people's actions, including their engagement in conflict.

How can manipulation be destructive?

If a person lies, cheats, misleads, and in general behaves in an untrustworthy way, the potential for conflict escalation and long-term destructive consequences is great.

What is a likely outcome when value differences are genuinely and inescapably a core element of a conflict?

If the most significant values of those involved are clearly in opposition, then we are not likely to end the conflict through a process of compromise or creative problem solving. We may be able to arrive at some understanding about how to move forward, despite value differences, but the core conflict will probably remain until circumstances change, larger values intervene, or those involved modify their core beliefs in some way.

How can we often achieve progress in a conflict, even when disputants have incompatible interests of one kind?

If we are careful to address other types of interests

Is implied or direct power more powerful?

Implied power is often far more effective than power brought directly to bear on a situation.

How is the cognitive dimension often expressed?

In the narrative structure that disputants use to describe of explain a conflict

Conflict can be understood as an:

Inevitable and necessary expression of human systems and an important means by which systems maintain their adaptability and adjust to change.

Personal characteristics that could be sources of power:

Intelligence, communication skills, physical stamina and strength, concentration, wit, perceptiveness, determination, empathy, and endurance

What lies at the heart of most negotiations?

Interests

Distinction often made between interests and needs:

Interests are viewed as more transitory and superficial, needs as more basic and enduring.

What happens when survival needs, interests, and identity needs overlap?

Interests become a category of human needs that exists along with basic survival and identity concerns

Avoidance:

Involves a low commitment to addressing either set of interests

Collaboration:

Involves an effort to solve both sets of interests

Interest-based problem solving:

Involves asserting one's needs or concerns and working toward a resolution that adequately addresses them. This also entails trying ot understand and address the interests of others.

Power as a contextual factor:

Is partly embedded in the structure within which the conflict is occurring, but it has to be understood as a product of personal styles and interpersonal interactions.

What happens when a conflict is defined or experienced as a struggle about values?

It becomes more charged and intractable.

Advantages of rights-based conflict:

It discourages destructive power struggles and sets parameters around both the process and the potential outcome of the conflict

Shortcomings of the Thomas-Kilman model:

It does not take fully into account just how variable approaches to conflict can be under different circumstances. In many conflicts people move among all of these strategies, and avoidance and engagement strategies are fundamentally different in nature.

Why is it tempting to define conflicts as questions of right and wrong?

It empowers and fortifies us, allowing us to "take the moral high road" even as it rigidifies our thinking and narrows acceptable options. It is often easier to carry on a conflict if we can view ourselves as honorable and virtuous, and opponents as evil, malicious, and dangerous. This stance, comforting though it may be, tends to escalate and perpetuate conflict.

Disadvantages of litigation:

It is a structure that exacerbates conflict, makes compromise difficult, and casts issues as win-lose, right-wrong struggles.

Disadvantages of using "interests" as a term:

It is confusing to people outside of the field of conflict work, not easily translatable into other languages, seems to refer more to our areas of interests.

One widespread belief about conflict:

It is dangerous and perhaps even immoral. Many sayings warn us against engaging in conflict or raising divisive issues. Consider conflict a sign of dysfunction and to be avoided.

Result of believing that two parties can have major difference of opinion about an issue without either party's being wrong or bad:

It is easier for us to to see conflict as acceptable and less threatening

Culture affects conflict because:

It is embedded in individuals' communication styles, their history, their ways of dealing with emotions, their values, and the structure within which conflict occurs.

Why should people maximize their choices?

It is important for people to maximize the choices they have should the negotiation not result in a satisfactory agreement, and it is also important for people to create alternatives that can be brought to bear within the negotiation itself.

Are there good and bad conflict styles?

It is less productive to think about whether conflict styles are good or bad than to consider whether they are effective or nonproductive in any given circumstance. The most important question here is how adaptable and flexible people can be in the style they bring to any given conflict. When people can alter their style to adapt to a particular situation, they are likely to be more effective than when their approach is extremely limited.

Advantages of litigation:

It is well designed for achieving a decisive outcome when other, less adversarial procedures have not worked.

Disadvantages of rights-based conflict:

It tends to distract people from considering what their needs really are or what the wisest approach to the conflict might be, and it can emphasize form over substance, justification over motivation.

Which aspect do people most often need to deal with first?

Often people must find a means of dealing with the expressive aspects of conflict—sometimes directly in the conflict interaction, sometimes elsewhere—before they can effectively focus on an outcome that will adequately address their needs.

To ideas about whether there can be a conflict in which no one is wrong:

One hand believes that two individuals or societies can have a major difference of opinion about an issue without either party's being wrong or bad. The other things that at least one party in any conflict must be wrong

Two important beliefs about conflict embedded in poker metaphors:

One is that conflict is a win-lose game. The other is that it takes cunning, deception, and even lying to be effective in conflict.

Avoidance through hopelessness

One of the easiest ways to avoid a conflict is to view the situation as beyond repair or to deny that one has any power to affect a problem. If there is no hope, then what is the point of engaging in conflict?

Give an example of how conflict experienced by one party is closely intertwined with how others experience it.

One party may be more likely to express and react to the emotional dimension, and another party may be more attuned to the behavioral dimension, their approaches affect each other.

Patterns we might look for in interaction all systems:

Opposites attract, opposites repel, similarities attract, similarities repel, styles converge, multiple styles coexist, conflictants adopt a new style

Our most important beliefs deal with:

Our basic attitudes about conflict, how people should behave in conflict, and what kinds of outcomes are possible or acceptable.

As a set of perceptions, conflict is:

Our belief or understanding that our own needs, interests, wants or values are incompatible with someone else's

What is something that might influence whether someone attributes behavior to dispositional or situational factors?

Our history with the person

One key variable that defines our power is:

Our intention and focus

How we bring to bear these often contradictory values in different conflict situations reflects:

Our personal beliefs, but it is also influenced by the values of those with whom we are in conflict. It is a lot easier to buy into collaborative values and approaches when the other side shares them.

Emotions are generated by:

Particular interactions or circumstances and previous experiences

Association

People derive power from their connection with other powerful individuals or organizations

Enthusiastic versus reluctant:

People have widely different tolerances for being in conflict. Some are "conflict junkies" who feel most alive and engaged int eh middle of a conflict. Some individuals seem to feel that any current or potential conflict must be raised at every opportunity and that if they are not in conflict why are not fully alive. Most of us, however, are at least somewhat reluctant or fearful about being in conflict, and as a result occasionally sue several of the avoidance strategies. sometimes people will go to great extremes to maintain their distance or minimize their participation in. A conflict and to avoid having any direct interaction with anyone with whom they are in conflict.

Why might coercive approaches be necessary?

People in positions of privilege seldom give away their advantages unless they are to some extent forced to do so.

Personal characterstics

People may derive power from a broad set of personal characteristics

Avoidance by folding

People sometimes avoid engaging by caving in—by accepting more repsonsibility than they really feel or by conceding on all the issues. Sometimes disputants will sacrifice very important needs to avoid engaging in a conflict or even seeing whether a conflict really exists. People may also make premature or insincere apologies at least in part to avoid engaging in a conflict. An apology under such circumstances can be very close to saying, "What more do you want? I have apologized. Do I really have to listen to you go on and on?"

Passive aggressive avoidance

People who are masters at provoking others without owning up to their own actions in any way.

Cognitive

Perception

What are other names for the three primary ways to influence others' behavior?

Persuasion, reward, and punishment

How can power be used?

Power can be used intentionally or unconsciously, collaboratively or coercively, obviously or implicitly, constructively or destructively

Moral power

Power can flow from an appeal to the values, beliefs, and ethical systems fo others or from an attack on the values of those with whom someone is in conflict. Also, people's belief that they are actin accordance within important values is a significant source of personal power.

When value differences are genuinely and inescapably a core element of a conflict, will a rational problem-solving problem be helpful?

Probably not.

Procedural power

Procedural power arises from the ability to control or influence a decision-making process

Information provider/expert

Providing information or opinions to decision makers or negotiators

What is required to build a deep democratic foundation for social and personal change?

Providing not only a format for democratic decision making but also the tools and skills to make such decision making a vital part of people's everyday lives. It means giving people access to a significant voice in all the major decisions that affect their lives. For this kind of democracy to be a reality, people need to be protected from oppression, coercion, and violence from those in more powerful positions.

Fundamental bias:

Refers to the likelihood that our first assumption of why someone has behaved in a way we experience as harmful is that he behavior is attributable to that person's nature or disposition.

Nuisance

Related to sanctions as a source of power, this is the ability to irritate, bother, interfere, or harass, but it falls short of the ability to impose significant consequences or penalites

Realistic component of conflict:

Relates to people's desire for a result that will meet their needs

Five component's of Moore's circle of conflict:

Relationship problems, data problems, value differences, structural problems, and interests

Intangible resources

Reputation, the ability to handle stress, and physical endurace

Opposites attract:

Styles that are very different can sometimes work well together. These approaches can sometimes effectively balance each other out, each disputants allowing the other to stay in his or her comfort zone and still move the process forward. Similarly, if one person prefers a facilitator role and another the advocate role, each can enable the other.

Two elements of the cognitive or perception dimension of conflict

Subjective and objective

Moore suggests three types of interests:

Substantive, procedural, and psychological

Actor-observer bias

Suggests that we tend to ascribe our own harmful behavior to circumstances, but that of others to disposition.

Three overlapping types of needs that operate in conflict and can assist us in understanding teh core of what motivates people in conflict:

Survival needs, interests, identity needs

How are the cognitive and emotional dimensions often characterized when discussing group conflict?

Terms such as culture, ethos, organizational values or family values, public opinion, or popular beliefs

Successful communication requires:

That people enter into a de facto partnership with each other in which informal but powerful norms and strategies are developed to allow communication to occur.

Attribution theory

The fundamental insight is that how we explain the causes of behavior has a job impact on how we respond to it.

Three histories that have a powerful influence on the course of a conflict:

The history of participants in a conflict, the history of the system in which the conflict is occurring, and the history of the issues themselves.

What is the implication of the set of values that call for us to be open-minded, to acknowledge other points of view, to be fair, to see both sides of an issue, and to respect the humanity of those with whom we are in conflict?

The implication here is that it is better to be non reactive, nonjudgmental, polite, and open-minded.

integrative versus distributive

The integrative style promotes a focus on common interests and opportunities for joint gain. People exhibiting this style have a tendency to think in terms of maximizing everyone's satisfaction. Disputants with a distributive style focus more on how to divide existing benefits among disputants and are usually particularly oriented to determining how to maximize their own gain or minimize their loss.

Where should we focus first wen we try to understand a conflict

The interests

What happens when vomiting is used to resolve serious differences about an issue?

The issue tends to become polarized, and constructive communication can become difficult.

Give an example of a contradiction between putting energy into collaborative conflict engagement efforts and at the same time preparing for an adversarial contest

The more reticent negotiators are to share information, the more difficult it is for them to find creative solutions to contentious problems. But if negotiators readily share too much information, they can compromise their ability to prevail later in a legal forum.

Structural versus individual dilemma:

To what extent is behavior in conflict primarily a result of the structure within which the conflict takes place, and to what extent does it reflect what individuals bring to that structure? Does the situation call forth the behavior, or do individuals' values, styles, and role preferences determine their approach? It is obvious that both the nature of the conflict and the nature of the disputants are important.

Avoidance through premature problem solving

Trying ot a love a problem before the timing is right,t eh conflict is understood, feelings have been expressed, values have been articulated, and people have been heard and acknowledged can be a very powerful way of avoiding conflict. Sometimes all someone wants is a solution, but to the extent that the conflict possesses a significant expressive element or more deeply entrenched issues, problem solving can be equivalent to conflict avoidance. Many conflicts are long term or enduring. By focusing on short-term solutions to long-term conflicts, people often avoid the most significant and difficult elements of those conflicts.

Coercive approach

Trying to force people to agree to something by threatening significant sanctions or by manipulating the external environment to take away their freedom of choice

Conciliator/empathizer

Tuning into and addressing the emotional elements of a conflict

Things that are critical to effectiveness:

Types of power people choose to apply, their timing, and their sense of how they can use their power to meet their needs—and the responses that their use of power will engender from other disputants

Factors that can be critical to how we intervene in a conflict:

Understanding how complex adaptive systems operate—and in particular how energy flows through systems; how systems emerge, adapt, adjust and reorganize; and how conflict in one part of a system may be an expression of system dynamics of conflicts in another part of the same system

Lewis Coser proposes what two components of conflict?

Unrealistic and realistic

Factors to consider in order to understand how people handle conflict:

Values and beliefs about conflict, how people explain conflict, approaches to avoiding and engaging conflict, styles of conflict engagement, the roles people are drawn to play in conflict, and patterns of conflict interaction.

Are values always a source of conflict and an impediment to its resolution?

Values are often a source of conflict an an impediment to its resolution, but they can also be a source of commonality and a constraint on conflict escalation. Disputants usually can find some level on which they share values.

Observer/witness, audience

Watching, reporting, and reacting to others in conflict

What is likely when we believe conflict is solvable?

We are more likely to aim for a full resolution of our differences, a genuine transformation of hte conflict, and the restoration of a positive relationship.

What is likely if we do not believe that significant conflict can be resolved or even made less toxic or that people can genuine change as a result of experience?

We are more likely to look for quick fixes, superficial solutions, or ways to circumvent the conflict

Similarities attract

We are sometimes much more comfortable working with people with a similar engagement style, and we can sometimes elicit a style from others by modeling it.

What are some ways that we can look at differences in power:

We can look at differences in power, at whether someone has the power to make something happen, at sources of power, and at people's vulnerabilities to the power of others.

What order are approaches commonly employed?

We commonly start with a more normative or interest-based approach but then move to a rights or power-based approach when we find our needs are not getting met.

What happens if we address the sources of conflict at a level that is too deep?

We make the conflict much harder ot resolve and we may also fail to match the reality experienced by the disputants.

Another way to the label unrealistic and realistic components:

We might hteink of them instead as the expressive and the outcome-oriented aspects of conflict

When we learn that others are acting on the basis of different information and assumptions, we often attribute this to what?

We often attribute this to bad faith or deviousness and not to the imperfections of human communication.

Normative or principled approach to conflict

We often try to get our way by asserting a moral right to a certain outcome or course of action. In doing this we are trying to meet our needs through an appeal to what is fair, ethical, moral, or just.

Description of engagement:

When engaging, our energy is directed toward participating in a. Conflict, asserting our needs, expressing our feelings, putting forward our ideas, and promoting particular outcomes.

Why is recognizing when values are in play in conflict critical to moving hte conflict in a constructive direction?

When individuals address values directly and express their beliefs affirmatively, they can address conflict more constructively.

When will the fight or flight response exacerbate a conflict considerably?

When no genuine danger is present

Distributive application of power

When people try to get their way by directing enough power at others to force a compromise or concession of some kind

Integrative application of power

When people use their power to increase the overall influence of all the parties involved in a dispute or negotiation, they are applying their power in an integrative way.

What is needed when someone feels severely at risk?

When someone feels severely at risk, reassurances that all will be well in the end are usually ineffective. What is needed is immediate assistance or attention to the threats that the individual is experiencing.

Description of avoidance:

When we are avoiding conflict, our efforts are focused on preventing a conflict from surfacing, denying a conflict's existence, or staying out of an ongoing conflict. In general we are limiting our investment of emotion and energy in a conflict.

When might someone be tempted to define an issue as a matter of right or wrong?

When we feel unsure of ourselves, confused about what to do, or under attack.

Things to consider concerning whether or not to escalate a conflict

Whether escalation is wise, if it may be, we should consider how to escalate incrementally, proportionately, in a time-limited way, and in keeping with our own values

An important consideration concerning whether collaborative efforts:

Whether such efforts are in some way impeding unempowered individuals' or groups' access to sources of power that they might otherwise have.

When are intervention efforts focused more on the relationship and system of communication among disputants and less on achieving a specific outcome often more valuable than efforts to arrive at tangible agreements?

With identity based conflicts

Give an example of how implied power can be more effective than direct power:

developing the capacity to sue and building a strong legal case are often much more effective than actually suing or threatening to sue. Arming oneself with relevant information is usually more empowering than demonstrating how well informed one is.

Survival needs include:

Fundamental concerns about safety and security, but also about food, shelter, and clothing

Specific variables to consider when looking at how people explain a conflict:

1. Are the explanations personal (dispositional) or systemic (situational)? 2. How rigid and narrow are the explanations (as opposed to multifaceted and open to change)? 3. Can disputants understand what is motivating the people they are in conflict with from those people's perspective, or can disputants only see it from their own point of view? 4. Are they aware of others' narratives—or of their own, for that matter? 5. Have disputants incorporated other points of view into their own explanation? 6. What are the dimensions of disputants' narratives (how far back do they go, how deeply do they delve, how broad a set of issues and players do they incorporate)? 7. Have the explanations changed? Recently? Frequently? Never? 8. Do the explanations focus on behavior, feelings, or attitudes? 9. Are the narratives hopeless (tragic)—suggesting that nothing can improve—or hopeful (comedic)? 10. What are the metaphors used to explain the conflict, and what are their implications? 11. Are the explanations specific to the conflict or do disputants tend to explain all conflicts in the same way? 12. What are the cultural contexts of the narratives? 13. How widely held—versus how idiosyncratic—are disputants' views of the conflict?

Maslow's hierarchy of needs:

1. Physiological needs for food, clothing, and shelter. 2. Security needs. 3. Social needs. 4. Needs for esteem and self-esteem. 5. Self-actualization.

Two ways collaborative efforts could impede unempowered individuals' or groups such access to sources of power that they might otherwise have:

1. They may deter people from choosing approaches that might give them access to more power - for example, if a victim of domestic violence chooses to negotiate an agreement rather than seek the protection of a court order, she could end up in a less powerful and more dangerous position. 2. They may lead people to seek a solution before they have developed their own power to a fuller level.

Structural or systemic power:

Lodged in the situation, the objective resources people bring to a conflict, the legal and political realities within which the conflict occurs, the formal authority disputants have, and the objective choices that exist

Disadvantages to an appeal to values:

Makes a constructive debate much more difficult.

Explain how emotions can be key to de-escalating a conflict:

Many emotions can prevent, moderate, or control conflict. Part of everyone's emotional makeup is the desire to seek connection, affirmation,and acceptance. The genuine expression of sadness or concern by a party to a dispute can be essential to addressing the conflict effectively.

Outcome focused versus process focused

Many people focus primarily on outcomes in conflict. They want to figure out what is going to be done and when. Others are more concerned about the process of the interaction.

Four elements of identity needs:

Meaning, community, intimacy, and autonomy

Intergroup bias:

Means that we are more likely to give the benefit of the doubt to those within our own group than to outsiders

Tangible resources

Money, personnel, or property

What are people trying to invoke by portraying themselves as the victim or the underdog?

Moral power

Intimacy needs:

Need for a different kind of connectivity. It goes beyond needing to be recognized and involves wanting to be special, unique, and important to other people

Are expressed and interests and motivational interests the same?

Often people are most vocal about one kind of interest but most genuinely motivated by another.

Examples of legitimate exercise of power that can produce positive results:

Strikes, public protests, letter-writing campaigns, boycotts, and efforts to obtain political power

Can conflict be understood independent of its historical context?

No

Is ventilation always advantageous?

No, frequently ventilation is neither possible more desirable.

Do the dimensions change in the same ways at the same times?

No, not necessarily. Sometimes an increase in one dimension is associated with a decrease in another. For example, the emotional component of conflict occasionally decreases as people increase their awareness of the existence of the dispute and their understanding of its nature.

Must flings of being upset, angry, or in some other way in emotional conflict with another be reciprocated?

No, often a conflict exists because one person feels upset, etc., even though those feelings are not reciprocated by or even known to the other person.

Does the strength and character of conflict remain stable across all dimensions?

No, the strength or character of conflict along each dimension can change rapidly and frequently

Are all interests constructive or reasonable?

No.

Can conflict be transformed without addressing needs?

No.

Must a conflict manifest itself behaviorally?

No. Even with no action taken, a conflict can generate considerable emotional intensity

Will needs stay the same throughout a conflict?

No. The needs we experience are constantly evolving and changing as we interact with others.

Is the state of avoidance or engagement permanent?

No. We sometimes go back and forth between avoidance and engagement many times during the course of a conflict, particularly when long-term relationships are involved.

Three ways we can use power to try to influence others' behavior (and they ours):

Normative approach to the application of power, utilitarian approach, coercive approach

What does a rights-based conflict tend to focus us on?

Rights based conflicts tend to focus us less on what we need and more on what we have the right to get.

Autonomy

Sense of independence, freedom, and individuality

How we handle conflict is basic to our:

Sense of ourselves, to how we try ot make our way in life, and to how we relate to others.

Different types of needs:

Short-term and long-term interests, individual and group interests, outcome-based interests and process interests, and conscious and unconscious interests

Passive avoidance:

Staying removed from and non reactive to a. Situation is the approach we most often associate with avoidance-an effort to avoid conflict through inaction of some kind.

Political power

Stems from people's ability to bring the power of others to bear in a political context

Avoidance through surrogates

Some people are masters at setting up or at least allowing others to fight their battles while they remain on the sidelines. Sometimes people avoid a conflict about a sensitive issue by engaging over a less sensitive one. Likewise, sometimes people will engage in a conflict with a person who functions as a surrogate for a more intimidating adversary.

Emotional versus rational

Some people are more likely to be emotionally expressive and to focus on their feelings, whereas others are more likely to concentrate on employing an ostensibly logical process to work through the conflict.

Direct versus indirect

Some people assert their needs, issues, or feelings directly and openly, and others express them indirectly through surrogate issues, metaphors or third parties.

Volatile versus unprovocable

Some people seem to remain consistently calm, even, and not easily provoked in conflict, whereas others seem always on the edge of a temper tantrum or emotional meltdown. Individuals often become less volatile as they mature or develop their interpersonal skills.

Threatening versus conciliatory

Some people try to get their way by intimidating others, threatening consequences, and using whatever sources of coercive power they have. Others try to placate, repair relationships, and avoid the direct application of coercive power at all costs.

Similarities repel

Sometime sit is very hard for both parties in a conflict to adopt the same style because certain approaches require the energy or input of other approaches to be effective. For example, if both want to be the facilitator, if both want to take up the emotional space in a group, or if both take a very assertive approach to promoting their point of view, the conflict can stagnate or escalate.

Styles converge

Sometimes disputants with very different styles prompt each other to move toward a common or at least overlapping style, more toward the middle of the spectrum of approaches.

Disadvantages of imperfect communication:

Sometimes imperfect communication generates conflict, whether or not there is a significant incompatibility of interests, and it almost always makes conflict harder to deal with effectively.

When might power-based approaches be necessary?

Sometimes individuals or groups must develop their potential to exercise power and demonstrate their willingness to use it before less confrontational approaches can be effective.

Is an emotional interchange ever necessary?

Sometimes it is exactly what is needed

Opposites repel

Sometimes one style provokes the opposite style in another, and this encourages the first party to move further toward the extreme of his or her natural style.

How identity needs can complicate conflict resolution:

Sometimes pursuing a conflict is a great source of meaning for people. In that case the resolution of the conflict entails a significant loss of meaning. Unless they can find a new source of meaning, this loss may be devastating and may cause them to hold on to a conflict regardless of how well the proposed solution addresses their interests.

Multiple styles coexist

Sometimes we find that multiple styles can evolve, and groups in particular find ways to accommodate quite a few different approaches. People may move rapidly among different styles in response to others who are moving rapidly among different styles. This can seem volatile and confusing, but sometime sit works remarkably well, for example when participants in an interaction seem to rotate through the roles of facilitator, analyzer, emoter, and decision maker.

Can structural realities be changed through a conflict resolution process?

Sometimes, but often, part of what that process must accomplish is to help disputants identify and accept those structural elements that are unlikely to be altered. It is also important to consider system dynamics.

Tow general categories of power:

Structural and personal

Definitional power

The ability to define the issues and the potential outcomes in a conflict is a crucial source of power

Power may be defined as:

The ability to get one's needs met and to further one's goals

Rewards and sanctions

The ability to provide or withhold meaningful rewards and the ability to impose negative consequences on others or to prevent Tito's consequences are twin sources of power.

Analytical versus intuitive:

The analytical style is characterized by the use of logical reasoning and data analysis. Individuals attempt to weigh costs, benefits, and choices and to consider issues one at a time, individuals suing the intuitive approach rely more on perceptions, insights, and feelings as guides to how to proceed.

Important things to understand about the group disputants if we are to understand what the conflict:

The attitudes, feelings, values, and beliefs that these groups have concerning each other

How do attribution biases hinder conflict resolution?

The attributions are crutches because they don't really explain why particular conflicts have arisen or developed in the way they have—or what is really going on for the individuals involved and how they might make sense of their own actions, however irrational or repugnant they appear to us. These explanatory crutches allow us to bypass the hard work of understanding the structural or systemic roots of conflict. Moreover, they interfere with our ability to understand a conflict from the perspective of those engaged in it.

Formal authority

The authority given by an institution, by a set of laws or policies, or by virtue of one's position in a formal structure—it is a form of structural power, but how effective people are in using it is often related to their personal power.

Perception of power

The beliefs people have about their power and that of others are often as important as the power itself

How we experience needs is influenced by what?

The context and the unfolding interaction.

What is the usual response when it becomes clear that power is sufficiently distributed among the contending parties to make power-based approaches costly and the outcome doubtful?

The creation of a rights-based framework, through which disputants can attempt to get their needs met by asserting their privilege or claim under some established structure of law, policy, regulation, or procedure.

Social legitimacy

The cultural or social belief that someone's authority is legitimate, that he or she has the right to make decisions or enforce consequences, is as important as formal authority in most settings.

Core beliefs concerning conflict can be rooted in:

The culture in which we have been brought up and the era in when he we have come of age.

Examples of destructive or unreasonable interests:

The desire for revenge, to hurt someone, to exclude someone from a certain racial or ethnic background from a leadership role, to make a great deal of money at someone else's expense, or to be able to exploit natural resources for a profit are all interests that could be motivating someone in a conflict. Just because someone is focusing on interests does not mean that he or she is being ethical, fair, or collaborative.

Result of believing that at least one party in any conflict must be wrong:

The existence of conflict is more likely to threaten our relationships. This believe also makes it difficult for disputants to think of anything short of complete victory as an acceptable outcome.

What happens when people or animals are genuinely endangered?

The fight of flight response

What did Gandhi call moral power?

The force of truth or satyagraha

How can the unrealistic component be satisfied?

The unrealistic component will not be satisfied by a good solution, but instead requires listening, ventilation, acknowledgment, validation, a "day in court," or some other means of expressing or releasing the feelings and energy associated with a conflict.

Five contextual factors that generate and define and conflict and affect how people experience their needs and how they choose to pursue them:

The ways in which people communicate, their emotions, their values, the structures in which they interact, and history.

What conflict strategy is the most preferable?

There is no one style that is always preferable, and the cultural meaning of these approaches varies tremendously. We are probably most effective in conflict if we can develop the capacity to use a variety of different approaches depending on the circumstances we find ourselves in and the approaches of other disputants.

Why do mediators often try to shut down an emotional interchange?

They are afraid that a situation will spin out of control or because they feel unable to deal with the intensity of the feelings being expressed.

Why do disputants often act in ways that seem to go against their best interests?

They are sometimes more interested in expressing their feelings than in getting results. Conversely, people sometimes dismiss attempts ot explore shat they are experiencing as inappropriate or touchy-feely.

In what way can emotions be a source of power?

They contribute to the energy, strength, courage, and perseverance that allow us to participate forcefully in conflict.

A major criticism of mediation and related cooperative approaches to conflict:

They do not necessarily promote social justice or protect the disempowered

Five basic ways people try to meet their needs when engaged in conflict:

They may work through the exercise of power, an assertion of rights, an interest-based negotiation process, normative, manipulation/indirection

To ventilate:

To let an emotion out through a direct and cathartic expression of it

When might escalation be necessary?

To make it in someone else's interest to take our concerns seriously, to bring an issue to the forefront fo people's attention, or to respond effectively to others' destructive use of power.

What should the goal of a third party to conflict be?

To promote the ability of all disputants to advocate for their legitimate interests in an effective and constructive way

The essence of manipulation:

To try to get others to meet one's needs without directly confronting hte issue or putting one's needs or desires clearly on the table.