Arranging a Marriage in India Reading Guide
What is a "love match?"
A marriage which is not arranged
To what extent are marriages arranged in India?
ALMOST ALL MARRIAGES ARE arranged. Even among the educated middle classes in modern, urban India, marriage is as much a concern of the families as it is of the individuals.
What are some advantages and disadvantages of arranged marriages? Do you feel that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages or vice versa?
Advantages: status, less stress of finding "true love", parental approval Disadvantages: no choice, possible negative relationships, could not like the person From my own personal cultural standpoint, the disadvantages outweigh the advantages
When arranging a marriage for one's adult son, why would traditional Indian parents be reluctant to look for a bride from a family that has many daughters?
Because those daughters have to be married as well and as a result, less resources are focused on each one. Plus, if the mother of the daughter is a hover-er it may prove to be a poor match
What traits do parents in India look for when arranging a marriage for their sons and daughters/What are some of the specific factors that need to be taken into account in the arrangement process?
Good people The basic rule seems to be that a family's reputation is most important. It is understood that matches would be arranged only within the same caste and general social class, although some crossing of subcastes is permissible if the class positions of the bride's and groom's families are similar. Education level
Why was the friend's son originally not considered a good match? What happened to his prospects?
He was in the military, which was dangerous and required a lot of moving around. This made his prospects slimmer
Why would the matches of your siblings matter?
If your siblings are already married, that means there's less wealth and resources to go into your wedding and family
How would the author view the relative success of marriages in India and the US?
Indian marriages have a far lower divorce rate because these people are actually willing to take the time to learn to love one another vs. making rash choices
How do middle class families in modern urban India feel about marriage?
It is a vital connection point and source of new relations with other families. Also almost necessary for positive reputations in the community
How is divorce currently viewed in India? In the US?
It's a scandal in India, but in the US, much of the taboo is gone now
After reading this article, have you reconsidered what it would be like to participate in an arranged marriage? How so?
Not really, it would still probably not be something I would like to find myself involved with. While it doesn't seem as bad and oppressive, I still would not want my free will taken away like that
How and by whom are marriages arranged?
Parents go out and meet perspective men and their families to determine if that man is a viable match for their daughter. The process can take quite some time because the parents want what's best for their children and the entire family
Why is it so important to take one's time in finding a match?
an arranged marriage is the beginning of a lifetime relationship not just between the bride and groom but between their families as well. Thus, while a girl's looks are important, her character is even more so, for she is being judged as a prospective daughterin-law as much as a prospective bride. Where she would be living in a joint family, as was the case with my friend, the girls's ability to get along harmoniously in a family is perhaps the single most important quality in assessing her suitability.
