Chapter 2: Listening and Criticism

Remembering

recalling, retaining what you remember is not what they said, but what you think to improve remembering: - identify the thesis or central idea and the main points - summarize - repeat - identify the organizational patter

Respond to criticism

- accept the critic's viewpoint - listen with an open mind - separate speech criticism from personal - seek clarification - evaluate the criticism

Listen with an open mind

- avoid prejudging - avoid filtering out difficult, unpleasant, or undesirable messages - recognize your own biases - Avoid assimilation

Listening for total meaning

- focus on both verbal and nonverbal messages - see the forest, then the trees - balance your attention between the surface and the underlying meaning - resist the temptation to filter out difficult or unpleasant messages

Listening Politely

- given supportive listening cues - show empathy with the speaker - maintain eye contact - give positive feedback

Guidelines for listening

- listen actively - listen politely - listen for total meaning - listen with empathy - listen with an open mind - listen ethically

To feel empathy for the public speaker

- see their POV - understand the speaker's thoughts and feelings - avoid "offensive listening" - don't distort messages because of the "friend-or-foe" factor

Giving

- stress the positive - be specific - be objective - be constructive - focus on behavior - own your criticism - recognize your ethical obligations

Ethnocentrism

the tendency to evaluate the values, believes, and behaviors of your own culture as being positive, logical, and natural than those of other cultures.

Assimilation

the tendency to reconstruct messages so they reflect your own attitudes, needs or values

Giving Criticism

1. You saying something positive 2. You identify something that was not effective (to you) 3. You suggest some way to improve what you suggested was not effective

Understanding

Learning, deciphering, meaning grasping not only the thoughts that are expressed but also the emotional tone that accompanies these thoughts to improve understanding: - relate the new to the old - see the speaker's message from their POV - rephrase, paraphrase

Active Listening

act like an active listener: focus your complete attention on the speaker - use your listening time wisely - work on listening - assume there's value in what the speaker is saying - take notes if appropriate

Responding

answering, giving feedback occurs in two phases: nonverbal (occasionally verbal) and responses you make after the speaker has stopped talking When responding: - backchannel - support the speaker - own your own responses

Ownning criticism

avoiding attributing what you found wrong to others I-message rather than you-message

Collectivist Culture

emphasizes the group and places primary value on the group's goals

Individualist Cultures

emphasizes the individual and places primary value on the individual's goals

Receiving

first stage of hearing (hearing and understanding) to improve receiving skills: - look at the speaker - focus attention - avoid attending to distraction - focus your attention on what the speaker is saying

Backchannel cues

gestures that let the speaker know that your listening (nodding your head, smiling, and leaning forward)

Evaluating

judging, criticizing judging the message and the speaker's credibility, truthfulness, or usefulness in some way to improve evaluating: - resist evaluation - distinguish facts from inferences - identify any speaker bias - identify any of your own biases

Nonverbal Communication

people with different cultures may have different display rules

Bias

prejudice, or particularity

Empathy

the process by which you are able to feel what others are feeling, to see the world as they see it, to walk in their shoes

Criticism

the process of evaluating a speech, of rendering a judgment of its value

Listening

the process of receiving, understanding, remembering, evaluating, and responding to verbal and/or nonverbal messages