chapter 8 conversational messages

Apologizing

Be apologetic (really) and specific, express understanding and a commitment to it not happening again, omit excuses, and express the apology through the appropriate channel DeVito, Joseph A.. Interpersonal Communication Book, The (p. 234). Pearson Education. Kindle Edition.

Complimenting

Be honest, compliment in moderation, avoid qualifying compliments, be specific and personal. DeVito, Joseph A.. Interpersonal Communication Book, The (p. 234). Pearson Education. Kindle Edition.

The principle of process

Conversation can be viewed as consisting of five stages: opening, feedforward, business, feedback, and closing. DeVito, Joseph A.. Interpersonal Communication Book, The (p. 214). Pearson Education. Kindle Edition.

The principle of dialogue

Conversation relies on each person listening and responding as well as speaking. DeVito, Joseph A.. Interpersonal Communication Book, The (p. 214). Pearson Education. Kindle Edition.

The principle of cooperation

Conversation relies on the maxims of quantity, quality, relation, and manner. DeVito, Joseph A.. Interpersonal Communication Book, The (p. 214). Pearson Education. Kindle Edition.

The principle of turn taking

Conversation works best when messages are relatively short and easily exchanged. DeVito, Joseph A.. Interpersonal Communication Book, The (p. 214). Pearson Education. Kindle Edition.

The principle of politeness

Conversations generally follow the maxims of tact, generosity, approbation, modesty, agreement, and sympathy. DeVito, Joseph A.. Interpersonal Communication Book, The (p. 214). Pearson Education. Kindle Edition.

Making excuses

Demonstrate understanding, responsibility, personal displeasure, and a commitment to it not happening again. DeVito, Joseph A.. Interpersonal Communication Book, The (p. 234). Pearson Education. Kindle Edition.

cooperation

During conversation, you probably follow the principle of cooperation; you and the other person implicitly agree to cooperate in trying to understand what each is saying. DeVito, Joseph A.. Interpersonal Communication Book, The (p. 208). Pearson Education. Kindle Edition.

dialogue

In dialogue, each person is both speaker and listener, sender and receiver. DeVito, Joseph A.. Interpersonal Communication Book, The (p. 211). Pearson Education. Kindle Edition.

Advising

Listen, empathize, be tentative, ensure understanding, maintain confidentiality, and avoid should. DeVito, Joseph A.. Interpersonal Communication Book, The (p. 234). Pearson Education. Kindle Edition.

meta- advice

One of the most important types of advice is what we might call meta-advice, advice about advice. DeVito, Joseph A.. Interpersonal Communication Book, The (p. 232). Pearson Education. Kindle Edition.

Asking a favor

Select the right channel, give appropriate feedforward, ask for the favor. DeVito, Joseph A.. Interpersonal Communication Book, The (p. 234). Pearson Education. Kindle Edition.

Making small talk

Small talk about noncontroversial topics and be brief. DeVito, Joseph A.. Interpersonal Communication Book, The (p. 234). Pearson Education. Kindle Edition.

disinhibition effect

Some researchers have pointed to a disinhibition effect that occurs in online communication. DeVito, Joseph A.. Interpersonal Communication Book, The (p. 215). Pearson Education. Kindle Edition.

phatic communication

The greeting is a good example of phatic communication: it's a message that establishes a connection between two people and opens up the channels for more meaningful interaction. DeVito, Joseph A.. Interpersonal Communication Book, The (p. 206). Pearson Education. Kindle Edition.

maxim of agreement

The maxim of agreement (Statement 5) refers to your seeking out areas of agreement and expressing them ("That color you selected was just right; it makes the room exciting") and at the same time avoiding and not expressing (or at least minimizing) disagreements("It's an interesting choice, very different"). DeVito, Joseph A.. Interpersonal Communication Book, The (p. 211). Pearson Education. Kindle Edition.

maxim of approbation

The maxim of approbation (Statement 3) refers to praising someone or complimenting the person in some way (for example, "I was really moved by your poem") and minimizing any expression of criticism or disapproval (for example, "For a first effort, that poem wasn't half bad"). DeVito, Joseph A.. Interpersonal Communication Book, The (p. 211). Pearson Education. Kindle Edition.

maxim of generosity

The maxim of generosity (Statement 2) helps to confirm the other person's importance, the importance of the person's time, insight, or talent, for example. DeVito, Joseph A.. Interpersonal Communication Book, The (p. 211). Pearson Education. Kindle Edition.

maxim of modesty

The maxim of modesty (Statement 4) minimizes any praise or compliments you might receive. DeVito, Joseph A.. Interpersonal Communication Book, The (p. 211). Pearson Education. Kindle Edition.

maxim of sympathy

The maxim of sympathy (Statement 6) refers to the expression of understanding, sympathy, empathy, supportiveness, and the like, for the other person. DeVito, Joseph A.. Interpersonal Communication Book, The (p. 211). Pearson Education. Kindle Edition.

maxim of tact

The maxim of tact (Statement 1 in the self-test) helps to maintain the other's autonomy or negative face. DeVito, Joseph A.. Interpersonal Communication Book, The (p. 210). Pearson Education. Kindle Edition.

manner maxim

Thus, in accordance with the manner maxim, use terms that the listener understands and clarify terms that you suspect the listener will not understand. When talking with a child, for example, simplify your vocabulary. DeVito, Joseph A.. Interpersonal Communication Book, The (p. 209). Pearson Education. Kindle Edition.

quantity maxim

Thus, in keeping with the quantity maxim, include information that makes the meaning clear but omit what does not; give neither too little nor too much information. DeVito, Joseph A.. Interpersonal Communication Book, The (p. 208). Pearson Education. Kindle Edition.

relation maxim

Thus, the relation maxim states that, if you're talking about Pat and Chris and say, for example, "Money causes all sorts of relationship problems," it's assumed by others that your comment is somehow related to pat and Chris. DeVito, Joseph A.. Interpersonal Communication Book, The (p. 209). Pearson Education. Kindle Edition.

Making introductions

When introducing yourself, make eye contact and smile. When introducing others, the lower rank is introduced to the higher rank, the man to the woman. DeVito, Joseph A.. Interpersonal Communication Book, The (p. 234). Pearson Education. Kindle Edition.

quality maxim

When you speak with people who frequently violate the quality maxim by lying, exaggerating, or minimizing major problems, you come to distrust what such individuals are saying and wonder what is true and what is fabricated. DeVito, Joseph A.. Interpersonal Communication Book, The (p. 208). Pearson Education. Kindle Edition.

conversational turns

You accomplish this through a wide variety of verbal and nonverbal cues that signal conversational turns—the changing (or maintaining) of the speaker or listener role during the conversation. DeVito, Joseph A.. Interpersonal Communication Book, The (p. 212). Pearson Education. Kindle Edition.

reciprocity

You are also more likely to disclose when the other person has disclosed, a pattern referred to as reciprocity; you give back what you get. DeVito, Joseph A.. Interpersonal Communication Book, The (p. 217). Pearson Education. Kindle Edition.

conversational maxims

You cooperate largely by using four conversational maxims— principles that speakers and listeners in the United States and in many other cultures follow in conversation. DeVito, Joseph A.. Interpersonal Communication Book, The (p. 208). Pearson Education. Kindle Edition.

conversation

an essential part of interpersonal communication and may be defined simply as informal social interaction. DeVito, Joseph A.. Interpersonal Communication Book, The (p. 205). Pearson Education. Kindle Edition.

apology

an expression of regret or sorrow for having said or done something that you shouldn't have. DeVito, Joseph A.. Interpersonal Communication Book, The (p. 227). Pearson Education. Kindle Edition.

advice

best viewed as a process of giving another person a suggestion for thinking or behaving, usually to effect a change. DeVito, Joseph A.. Interpersonal Communication Book, The (p. 232). Pearson Education. Kindle Edition.

self-disclosure

communicating information about yourself to another person. DeVito, Joseph A.. Interpersonal Communication Book, The (p. 215). Pearson Education. Kindle Edition.

excuses

explanations that are designed to reduce any negative reactions to what you've said or done; the objective is to maintain your positive image. DeVito, Joseph A.. Interpersonal Communication Book, The (p. 226). Pearson Education. Kindle Edition.

interruptions

interruptions are attempts to take over the role of the speaker. DeVito, Joseph A.. Interpersonal Communication Book, The (p. 213). Pearson Education. Kindle Edition.

compliment

message of praise, flattery, or congratulations. DeVito, Joseph A.. Interpersonal Communication Book, The (p. 231). Pearson Education. Kindle Edition.

small talk

pervasive; all of us engage in small talk. DeVito, Joseph A.. Interpersonal Communication Book, The (p. 223). Pearson Education. Kindle Edition.

backhanded compliment

really not a compliment at all; it's usually an insult masquerading as a compliment. DeVito, Joseph A.. Interpersonal Communication Book, The (p. 231). Pearson Education. Kindle Edition.

politeness

tendencies by indicating how closely each of the statements below describes your typical communication behavior. DeVito, Joseph A.. Interpersonal Communication Book, The (p. 210). Pearson Education. Kindle Edition.

Monologue

the opposite side; it's communication in which one person speaks and the other listens—there's no real interaction between participants. DeVito, Joseph A.. Interpersonal Communication Book, The (p. 211). Pearson Education. Kindle Edition.

back- channeling cues

used to communicate various types of information back to the speaker without your assuming the role of speaker. DeVito, Joseph A.. Interpersonal Communication Book, The (p. 213). Pearson Education. Kindle Edition.