Com 110 Final Exam

incongruous response

A disconfirming response in which two messages, one of which is usually nonverbal, contradict each other.

ambiguous response

A disconfirming response with more than one meaning, leaving the other party unsure of the responder's position.

What are emotions?

A natural instinctive state of mind coming from ones circumstances, mood, or relationship with others

What is a family?

A system with tow or more interdependent people who have a common history, present reality, and expectations for the future

How do communication climates develop?

Climate is determined by the degree to which people see themselves as valued

what are the internal pressures on friendships

Competing demands → social systems affect how they function Personal changes → change as our lives do too Geographic distance sexual

What are the three relational dialectics?

Connection Autonomy Dialectic - want to be close to other people but, want to also be independent novelty dialect - we want familiarity , but we also want "newness" too closeness dialectic - conflict between open communication but also privacy

What are the cultural influences on emotions?

Different ways and rules of expressing emotions

What happens during the three stages of productive conflict?

Early → foundation set far before conflict begins Middle → positive groundwork supports what happens when conflict is dug into Late → attention shifts to resolving tension

what happens in the three stages of an unproductive conflict?

Early → set stage for conflict is handled Middle → negative climate is toked by other unconstructive communication Later → proposals are met with counterproposals

seven steps of the family life-cycle

Establish a family Enlarging a family Developing a family Encouraging independence Launching children Post-launching of children Retirement

what are the 4 responses to conflict?

Exit response Neglect response Loyalty response Voice response

what are the six steps of a romantic relationship

Individuality → different needs/goals, identities, histories that affect what we look for Invitational communication → people signal they are interested Explorational communication → escalation of romance Intensifying communication → view themselves as a couple Revising communication → look at relationships more realistically (may not always happen) Commitment → the decision to stay with the relationship

What are committed romantic relationships? How are they unique?

Individuals who assume that they will be primary and continuing parts of each others lives Include romantic and sexual feelings Primary and enduring

how do friendships grow and develop?

Initial meeting → uncertain and obvious, rely on social rules Fledgling friendship starts → small self-disclosure Stabilized friendship →become closer and more important

What are the conflict management skills?

Listen mindfully Attend to the relationship level of meaning Take responsibility for your thoughts, feelings, and issues Check perceptions Look for points of agreement Time conflict appropriately Look for ways to preserve the others face Imagine how you'll feel in the future

social and professional roles

May discourage direct expression of emotions

what are the different types of friendships?

Short vs. long term Task vs. maintenance oriented Low vs. High Disclosure High vs. Low Obligation Infrequent vs. Frequent Contact

What is placemaking?

The deliberate shaping of an environment to facilitate social interaction and improve a couples quality of life.

grave-dressing phase

This is the time when each gives an account of why the relationship failed. This is the final phase.

voice response

addresses conflict directly and attempts to resolve it

what are three types of disagreeing messages?

argumentativeness, complaining, agressivness

What are confirming messages?

behaviors that indicate how much we value another person

What is intimacy?

closeness between two people

what are the five conflict styles?

competing, avoiding, accommodating, compromising, collaborating

what are the 4 family communication patterns

consensual, pluralistic, protective, laissez-faire

Framing rules

define the emotional meaning of situations

emotion work

expression of an emotion, often because of a role requirement, that a person does not really feel

Storge (primary)

friendship love

Ludus (primary)

game-playing love

consensual

high convo, high conformity

pluralistic

high convo, low conformity

what is conversation orientation?

how open or closed communication is

what are the seven types of disconfirming messages?

impervious, interruptive, irrelevant, tangential, impersonal, ambiguous, incongruous

how do we define family?

interaction rather than biology

What is the triangular theory of love?

intimacy, passion, commitment

exit response

involves physically walking out or psychologically withdrawing

how can social media affect relationships?

it can help or harm

What does it mean that beliefs about events, rather than the event, cause people to feel something?

it means that the thought of an event itself. stresses people out before they even experience it

protective

low conversation, high conformity

Laissez-faire

low convo, low conformity

Traditional gender roles

men and women have the same emotions they just express them differently

what is a disconfirming message?

messages that deny the value of other people

intrapsychic

one or more partners feel dissatisfied

What are relational dialectics?

opposing and continual tensions that are normal in personal relationships

resurrection process

part of the breakdown of relationships that deals with how people prepare themselves for new relationships after ending an old one

social support

partners look to friends and family

neglect response

passively allows conditions to worsen and includes chronic absenteeism or lateness, reduced effort, and increased error rate

what are the dimensions of intimacy?

physical, intellectual, emotional, shared activities

what is a communication climate spiral?

positive --> positive negative --> negative

what is relational culture?

private world of rules, understandings, meanings, and patterns of acting and interpreting that partners create for their relationship

what are the three confirming messages?

recognition, endorsement, acknowledgment

what are the guidelines for expressing emotion?

recognize your feelings, choose the best language, share multiple feelings, recognize the difference between feeling and acting, accept responsibility for your feelings, choose the best time/place, respond sensitivly

Eros (primary)

romantic, passionate love

feeling rules

socially constructed norms regarding the expression and display of emotions; expectations about the acceptable or desirable feelings in a given situation

What are ineffective ways that we express emotion?

speaking in generalities, not owning feelings, using counterfeit language

pragma (secondary)

storge/ludus, practical with clear critera

What is emotional intelligence?

the ability to perceive, understand, manage, and use emotions

Dyatic Process

the breakdown of established patterns

what is conformity orientation?

the degree to which families believe that communication should emphasize similarity or diversity in attitudes, beliefs, and values

what is communication climate?

the overall feeling or emotional mood between people

what is social support?

the perception or reality that one is cared for by a social network

emotional contagion

the process by which emotions are transferred from one person to another

impersonal response

the speaker conducts a monologue filled with detached, intellectualized, and generalized statements

What is conflict?

An expressed tension between people who are interdependent and perceive they have incompatible goals, and feel a need to resolve those differences

What are the influences on relationship formation?

Appearance, Similarity, Complementary, Rewards, Competency, Proximity, Self-disclosure

What are disagreeing messages?

Messages that say "you're wrong" in one way or another

what are the principles of conflict?

Natural in most Western relationships Cultural/social groups shape meaning May be expressed overtly or covertly Can be good for individuals and relationships

How do we navigate romantic relationships?

The ongoing process of staying committed and living a life together despite ups and downs

how do friendships deteriorate?

When one or both friends stop investing in friendship it is likely to wane More common for friendships to wane gradually When friendship declines, there is a change in communication Decreased quantity and quality of communication

impervious response

a disconfirming response that ignores another person's attempt to communicate

tangential response

a disconfirming response that uses the speaker's remark as a starting point for a shift to a new topic

self talk

a person's internal dialogue

what is defensiveness?

a protective reaction to a perceived attack on our self-esteem

what are the three types of social support?

emotional support, informational support, instrumental support

Mania (secondary)

eros/ludus, love is a game

agape (secondary)

eros/storge, selfless

what is involved in the nature of friendships?

willingness to invest emotional closeness acceptance trust support

What are the love languages?

words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service, physical touch