Dr. Bailey Interpersonal Communication Final Exam
Developing Intercultural Communication Competence
- motivation and attitude - tolerance for ambiguity - open-mindedness - knowledge and skill - patience and perseverance
Love Languages
-Affirming words -Quality Time -Receiving Gifts -Acts of Service -Physical Touch
Why do we from relationships?
-Appearance -Perceived Similarity -Complementary Personalities -Rewards -Competency -Proximity -Disclosure -Reciprocal Attraction
Benefits of Conflict
-Creates more openness -Can foster deeper love or greater loyalty—respect -Causes us to think before we speak -Absence of conflict can produce bad decisions -Creates an "investment" in the relationship
Constructive Conflict Behaviors
-Honestly identify the problem and your unmet needs (self-assessment) -Make a "date" -Describe the problem -Consider your partner's point of view -Negotiate a solution (try for a win-win) -Implement and follow up with the solution -Be willing to recalibrate your approach to the problem -In romantic relationships or friendships persistence often communicates love and value
Effective practices
-Manage Connection vs. Autonomy -Closeness vs. Boundaries -Encourage Confirming Messages
Climate dialectics
-Open vs. Inhibited -Emotive vs. Non-emotive -Comforting vs. Challenging -Relaxed vs. Intense -Accepting vs. Judging/Critical -Confirming vs. Disconfirming
Reasons why we have conflict
-Perceived incompatible goals -Perceived scarce resources -Interdependence ("I need you to do this") -Poorly-defined roles -Inability to give or accept criticism -Unrealistic expectations of the other
Characteristics of relationships.
-Relationships are constantly changing -Relationships affected by culture -Relationships require maintenance -Relationships require commitment
Succesful friendships
-Share Joys and Sorrows -Listening Ear -Maintaining Confidence -Help -Standing up for Each Other -Honor Commitments -Balanced Exchange -Value Connection and Autonomy
Friendship
-Short vs. Long-term -Task vs. Maintenance Oriented -Low vs. High Disclosure -Low vs. High Obligation -Infrequent vs. Frequent
Repairing damaged relationships
-Work is essential -Forgiveness of transgressions -Not everything is worth fighting over -Put love and respect into action -Learn that "submission" is a mutual thing -Learn how to fight
Fallacy of universal approval
Expecting that nobody will be angry with us or that we will never be unliked
Emotional Leadership
Type of leadership aimed at representing the affective experience of the group membership
nurturing culture
cultures that regard the support of relationships as an especially important goal
interdependent
depending on each other
supportive behaviors
description, problem orientation, spontaneity, empathy, equality, provisionalism
Dimensions of Intimacy
emotional, financial, physical, intellectual, shared activities
defensive behaviors
evaluation, control, strategy, neutrality, superiority, certainty
Fallacy of perfection
expecting perfection of ourselves
Individualism
giving priority to one's own goals over group goals and defining one's identity in terms of personal attributes rather than group identifications
Collectivism
giving priority to the goals of one's group (often one's extended family or work group) and defining one's identity accordingly
Salience
how much weight we attach to a particular person or phenomenon-especially when and where culture is concerned
family communication
interdependent, synergistic
companionate love
intimacy and commitment
romantic love
intimacy and passion
Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love
intimacy, passion, commitment
consummate love
intimacy, passion, commitment
individual climate
one on one communication climates
high-context culture
people rely heavily on situational cues for meaning when communicating with others
Emotional Fallacies
perfection, universal approval, shoulds, overgeneralizations, helplessness, and catastrophic expectations
low-context culture
shared meanings are primarily derived from written and spoken words
code switching
switching back and forth between one linguistic variant and another depending on the cultural context (especially important for members of co-cultures within the dominant culture)
verbal codes
symbols and their grammatical arrangement, such as languages
conformity orientation
the degree to which families believe that communication should emphasize similarity or diversity in attitudes, beliefs, and values
conversation orientation
the degree to which family members are encouraged to participate in unrestrained interaction about a wide array of topics
uncertainty avoidance
the degree to which societies are willing to tolerate uncertainty and risk
communication climate
the emotional tone of a relationship
fallacy of catastrophic expectations
the irrational belief that the worst possible outcome will probably occur; self fulfilling prophecy
Culture
the language, values, beliefs, traditions, and customs people share and learn
emotional labor
the need to manage emotions to complete job duties successfully
emotional contagion
the process by which emotions are transferred from one person to another
Overgeneralization
the tendency to interpret a single negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat and failure
social exchange theory
the theory that our social behavior is an exchange process, the aim of which is to maximize benefits and minimize costs
The fallacy of shoulds
the world shouldn't be this way
Synergistic
working together
Responding to criticism
•Ask for specifics •Paraphrase the other speaker's ideas •Ask what the critic wants •Ask about the consequences of your behavior •Don't disagree with everything •Remain open and communicate your concern for them and their feelings
Making and assertive statement
•Behavior: Description of a behavior one person has observed •Interpretation: Describes what must be happening or what the behavior must represent •Feeling: Telling the other how their behavior makes you feel •Consequence: Describes the consequences of another's behavior or your feelings •Intention: Explains what your intentions are as a result of what you're saying or what the other person is doing
Minimizing debilitative emotions
•Monitor your emotional reactions •Note the activating event •Record self-talk •Reappraise irrational beliefs •Stay mellow—avoid the fallacies and the emotional extremes •Recognize your worth •Focus on the completion of important tasks •Remember what you're good at
conflict
An instance of verbal, physical or emotional struggle involving two simultaneously independent yet interdependent parties
reappraisal
changing one's emotional experience by changing the way one thinks about the emotion-eliciting stimulus
Ideal state of love
consummate love
incongruous response
A disconfirming response in which two messages, one of which is usually nonverbal, contradict each other.
Avoidance
A reaction to conflict that involves ignoring the problem by doing nothing at all, or deemphasizing the disagreement.
achievement culture
A results-oriented culture that values competitiveness, personal initiative, and achievement.
symmetrical style
Both use the same conflict style (e.g. both avoid or both seek collaboration)
Inclusion of Other in the Self
Closeness is such that another becomes a part of you.
Knapp's Model of Relational Development
Coming together: initiating, experimenting, intensifying Relational maintenance: integrating, bonding, differentiating, circumscribing Coming apart: stagnating, avoiding, terminating
spiral
Conflict can become spiral-like when it develops into a reciprocating communication pattern in which one person's message reinforces the other's.
Openness vs. Privacy
People want open relationships but still need a "zone of privacy"
power distance
Degree to which societies accept the idea that inequalities in the power and well-being of their citizens are due to differences in individuals' physical and intellectual capabilities and heritage
collaboration
Seeking win-win solutions where nobody loses anything
Intimacy
Feelings of closeness, bondedness, and connectedness
friends with benefits
Friendships which include sexual activity. Men are interested in benefits while women value friendship aspect more. Avoid defining relationship
Fallacy of helplessness
Im powerless in this situation
Co-cultures
Memberships in groups (often associated with demographic categories, i.e. age, race, gender)
Complimentary style
Mutually reinforcing behaviors (e.g. one complains the other avoids in response)
Components of Emotion
Physiological, nonverbal, cognitive, verbal expression, and spiritual
Parallel style
Shifting back and forth between complementary and symmetrical
aggressiveness
The tendency to attack another person's self concept
complaining
The tendency to complain about another's behavior or some personal characteristic of another
argumentativeness
The tendency to defend one's own positions and attack positions held by others. Not necessarily a bad trait
VOCAB
Vulnerability Ownership Communication Acceptance Boundaries
Predictability vs. Novelty
We are comforted by the predictability, but need new things to spice things up
Connection vs. Autonomy
We value connection, but crave independence
interrupting response
a disconfirming response in which one communicator interrupts another
irrelevant response
a disconfirming response in which one communicator's comments bear no relationship to the previous speaker's ideas
impervious response
a disconfirming response that ignores another person's attempt to communicate
tangential response
a disconfirming response that uses the speaker's remark as a starting point for a shift to a new topic
accommodation
allowing others to have their way rather than asserting your own (low self-concern, high other-concern)
Mass Climate
applies to and among a large group of people
competing
attempting to get one's way through some type of competition with another party (high self-concern, low other-concern)
Conflict styles
avoidance, accommodation, competition, compromise, collaboration
disconfirming messages
behaviors that imply a lack of respect or value for others, verbal or nonverbal
confirming messages
behaviors that indicate how much we value another person, verbal or nonverbal
Compromising
both participants give a little (lose-lose)