Dr. Bailey Interpersonal Communication Final Exam

Developing Intercultural Communication Competence

- motivation and attitude - tolerance for ambiguity - open-mindedness - knowledge and skill - patience and perseverance

Love Languages

-Affirming words -Quality Time -Receiving Gifts -Acts of Service -Physical Touch

Why do we from relationships?

-Appearance -Perceived Similarity -Complementary Personalities -Rewards -Competency -Proximity -Disclosure -Reciprocal Attraction

Benefits of Conflict

-Creates more openness -Can foster deeper love or greater loyalty—respect -Causes us to think before we speak -Absence of conflict can produce bad decisions -Creates an "investment" in the relationship

Constructive Conflict Behaviors

-Honestly identify the problem and your unmet needs (self-assessment) -Make a "date" -Describe the problem -Consider your partner's point of view -Negotiate a solution (try for a win-win) -Implement and follow up with the solution -Be willing to recalibrate your approach to the problem -In romantic relationships or friendships persistence often communicates love and value

Effective practices

-Manage Connection vs. Autonomy -Closeness vs. Boundaries -Encourage Confirming Messages

Climate dialectics

-Open vs. Inhibited -Emotive vs. Non-emotive -Comforting vs. Challenging -Relaxed vs. Intense -Accepting vs. Judging/Critical -Confirming vs. Disconfirming

Reasons why we have conflict

-Perceived incompatible goals -Perceived scarce resources -Interdependence ("I need you to do this") -Poorly-defined roles -Inability to give or accept criticism -Unrealistic expectations of the other

Characteristics of relationships.

-Relationships are constantly changing -Relationships affected by culture -Relationships require maintenance -Relationships require commitment

Succesful friendships

-Share Joys and Sorrows -Listening Ear -Maintaining Confidence -Help -Standing up for Each Other -Honor Commitments -Balanced Exchange -Value Connection and Autonomy

Friendship

-Short vs. Long-term -Task vs. Maintenance Oriented -Low vs. High Disclosure -Low vs. High Obligation -Infrequent vs. Frequent

Repairing damaged relationships

-Work is essential -Forgiveness of transgressions -Not everything is worth fighting over -Put love and respect into action -Learn that "submission" is a mutual thing -Learn how to fight

Fallacy of universal approval

Expecting that nobody will be angry with us or that we will never be unliked

Emotional Leadership

Type of leadership aimed at representing the affective experience of the group membership

nurturing culture

cultures that regard the support of relationships as an especially important goal

interdependent

depending on each other

supportive behaviors

description, problem orientation, spontaneity, empathy, equality, provisionalism

Dimensions of Intimacy

emotional, financial, physical, intellectual, shared activities

defensive behaviors

evaluation, control, strategy, neutrality, superiority, certainty

Fallacy of perfection

expecting perfection of ourselves

Individualism

giving priority to one's own goals over group goals and defining one's identity in terms of personal attributes rather than group identifications

Collectivism

giving priority to the goals of one's group (often one's extended family or work group) and defining one's identity accordingly

Salience

how much weight we attach to a particular person or phenomenon-especially when and where culture is concerned

family communication

interdependent, synergistic

companionate love

intimacy and commitment

romantic love

intimacy and passion

Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love

intimacy, passion, commitment

consummate love

intimacy, passion, commitment

individual climate

one on one communication climates

high-context culture

people rely heavily on situational cues for meaning when communicating with others

Emotional Fallacies

perfection, universal approval, shoulds, overgeneralizations, helplessness, and catastrophic expectations

low-context culture

shared meanings are primarily derived from written and spoken words

code switching

switching back and forth between one linguistic variant and another depending on the cultural context (especially important for members of co-cultures within the dominant culture)

verbal codes

symbols and their grammatical arrangement, such as languages

conformity orientation

the degree to which families believe that communication should emphasize similarity or diversity in attitudes, beliefs, and values

conversation orientation

the degree to which family members are encouraged to participate in unrestrained interaction about a wide array of topics

uncertainty avoidance

the degree to which societies are willing to tolerate uncertainty and risk

communication climate

the emotional tone of a relationship

fallacy of catastrophic expectations

the irrational belief that the worst possible outcome will probably occur; self fulfilling prophecy

Culture

the language, values, beliefs, traditions, and customs people share and learn

emotional labor

the need to manage emotions to complete job duties successfully

emotional contagion

the process by which emotions are transferred from one person to another

Overgeneralization

the tendency to interpret a single negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat and failure

social exchange theory

the theory that our social behavior is an exchange process, the aim of which is to maximize benefits and minimize costs

The fallacy of shoulds

the world shouldn't be this way

Synergistic

working together

Responding to criticism

•Ask for specifics •Paraphrase the other speaker's ideas •Ask what the critic wants •Ask about the consequences of your behavior •Don't disagree with everything •Remain open and communicate your concern for them and their feelings

Making and assertive statement

•Behavior: Description of a behavior one person has observed •Interpretation: Describes what must be happening or what the behavior must represent •Feeling: Telling the other how their behavior makes you feel •Consequence: Describes the consequences of another's behavior or your feelings •Intention: Explains what your intentions are as a result of what you're saying or what the other person is doing

Minimizing debilitative emotions

•Monitor your emotional reactions •Note the activating event •Record self-talk •Reappraise irrational beliefs •Stay mellow—avoid the fallacies and the emotional extremes •Recognize your worth •Focus on the completion of important tasks •Remember what you're good at

conflict

An instance of verbal, physical or emotional struggle involving two simultaneously independent yet interdependent parties

reappraisal

changing one's emotional experience by changing the way one thinks about the emotion-eliciting stimulus

Ideal state of love

consummate love

incongruous response

A disconfirming response in which two messages, one of which is usually nonverbal, contradict each other.

Avoidance

A reaction to conflict that involves ignoring the problem by doing nothing at all, or deemphasizing the disagreement.

achievement culture

A results-oriented culture that values competitiveness, personal initiative, and achievement.

symmetrical style

Both use the same conflict style (e.g. both avoid or both seek collaboration)

Inclusion of Other in the Self

Closeness is such that another becomes a part of you.

Knapp's Model of Relational Development

Coming together: initiating, experimenting, intensifying Relational maintenance: integrating, bonding, differentiating, circumscribing Coming apart: stagnating, avoiding, terminating

spiral

Conflict can become spiral-like when it develops into a reciprocating communication pattern in which one person's message reinforces the other's.

Openness vs. Privacy

People want open relationships but still need a "zone of privacy"

power distance

Degree to which societies accept the idea that inequalities in the power and well-being of their citizens are due to differences in individuals' physical and intellectual capabilities and heritage

collaboration

Seeking win-win solutions where nobody loses anything

Intimacy

Feelings of closeness, bondedness, and connectedness

friends with benefits

Friendships which include sexual activity. Men are interested in benefits while women value friendship aspect more. Avoid defining relationship

Fallacy of helplessness

Im powerless in this situation

Co-cultures

Memberships in groups (often associated with demographic categories, i.e. age, race, gender)

Complimentary style

Mutually reinforcing behaviors (e.g. one complains the other avoids in response)

Components of Emotion

Physiological, nonverbal, cognitive, verbal expression, and spiritual

Parallel style

Shifting back and forth between complementary and symmetrical

aggressiveness

The tendency to attack another person's self concept

complaining

The tendency to complain about another's behavior or some personal characteristic of another

argumentativeness

The tendency to defend one's own positions and attack positions held by others. Not necessarily a bad trait

VOCAB

Vulnerability Ownership Communication Acceptance Boundaries

Predictability vs. Novelty

We are comforted by the predictability, but need new things to spice things up

Connection vs. Autonomy

We value connection, but crave independence

interrupting response

a disconfirming response in which one communicator interrupts another

irrelevant response

a disconfirming response in which one communicator's comments bear no relationship to the previous speaker's ideas

impervious response

a disconfirming response that ignores another person's attempt to communicate

tangential response

a disconfirming response that uses the speaker's remark as a starting point for a shift to a new topic

accommodation

allowing others to have their way rather than asserting your own (low self-concern, high other-concern)

Mass Climate

applies to and among a large group of people

competing

attempting to get one's way through some type of competition with another party (high self-concern, low other-concern)

Conflict styles

avoidance, accommodation, competition, compromise, collaboration

disconfirming messages

behaviors that imply a lack of respect or value for others, verbal or nonverbal

confirming messages

behaviors that indicate how much we value another person, verbal or nonverbal

Compromising

both participants give a little (lose-lose)