Managing Conflict - Ch. 9

What are the conflict management skills?

1.Attend to the relationship level of meaning 2.Communicate supportively 3.Listen mindfully 4.Take responsibility for your thoughts, feelings, and issues 5.Check perceptions 6.Look for points of agreement 7.Look for ways to preserve the other's face Imagine how you'll feel in the future

What are the principles of conflict?

1.Conflict is natural in most Western relationships 2.Conflict may be expressed overtly and covertly Passive aggression and games 3.Cultural/social groups shape meaning of conflict 4.Conflict can be managed well or poorly 5.Conflict can be good for individuals and relationships

What is complementary conflict? What is symmetrical conflict?

Complementary: The partners use different, but mutually reinforcing behaviors Symmetrical: partners use the same tactics

What are the 5 conflict styles? Where do these fall in terms of concern for self and concern for others?

1. Avoidance (Lose-Lose): people ignore, or stay away from conflict through physical or conversational means 2. Accommodation (Lose-win): one person allows other to have their own way rather than asserting their point of view 3. Competition (Win-lose): assumes one person will win at expense of the other 4. Compromise (Negotiated lose-lose): gives both people at least some of what they want, but both sacrifice part of their goals 5. Collaboration (Win-win): seeking win-win situations to conflict, satisfying need of everyone without compromising anything Refer to ppt for scale of where it falls in concern for self vs. concern for others

What are the four responses to conflict?

1. Exit response: physically walking out or psychologically withdrawing 2. Neglect response: denies or minimizes the problem that could lead to overt conflict 3. Loyalty response: staying committed to a relationship despite differences 4. Voice response: addresses conflict directly, & attempts to resolve it

What is a conflict? What are the elements of conflict?

An expressed tension between people who: are interdependent, perceive they have incompatible goals, feel a need to resolve these differences

What happens during the stages of an unproductive conflict? What happens during the stages of productive conflict?

Unproductive: Reflects a preoccupation with oneself and disregard for others Early Stages: First 3 minutes are most important Negative climates build on themselves Middle Stages: Kitchen-sinking by throwing everything into argument Later Stages: Proposals met with counterproposals Productive: Reflects a supportive, positive climate that increases possibility of resolving differences without harming relationship Early Stages: Set far before conflict with the communication climate Middle Stages: Agenda building by staying focused on main issues Later Stages: Attention shifts to resolving tension Dual perspective and contracting