Chapter 11-14
affectionate love
the type of love that occurs when someone desires to have the other person near and has a deep, caring affection for the person. Fueled by sexual attraction and gratification, a reduced sense of loneliness, uncertainty about the security of developing another attachment, and excitement from exploring the novelty of another human being.
Drinking
20% of college students don't drink. 30% of College students drink 5 or more beers in a row in the last week. 13% of college kids are ranked extreme binge drinking 10 or more in a row. half of binge drinkers 11 times more likely to fall behind, twice as likely to have unprotected sex, 10 times more likely to drive, than those who don't binge drink. there is a peak in binge drinking which is 21-22 years.
sexual orientation and behavior
25-44 found that 98% of woman and 97% of men had vaginal intercourse. 89% of women and 90% of men had oral sex with an opposite-sex partner, 36% of women and 44% of men had anal sex with an opposite partner.
single adults
45% of US adults of 18yrs and older are not married. 64% are not married global. US has the lowest percentage of single people. Being single in china, india, and brazil are common. Common challenges are will be forming intimate relationships with other adults, confronting loneliness, and finding a niche in a society that is marriage-oriented. Advantage is that you can make all the decisions, self development, freedom, privacy, opportunities to try something new.
sexual activity
60 % of people had sex in age 18 while people of age 25 mostly all of those people had sex. casual sex is more common in emerging adulthood than it is during the late twenties. 20% of girls engage in a hook up (kissing to sex) in one school year. Sensation seeking, alcohol, impulsivity increase this drive. 40% of 22 year olds had casual sex partners. friends with benefits also increased.
Letting your partner influence you
Bad marriages often involve one spouse who is unwilling to share power with the other. Although power-mongering is more common in husbands, some wives also show this trait. A willingness to share power and to respect the other person's view is a prerequisite to compromising.
Health
Inactivity, diet, obesity, substance use, reproductive health care, and health-care access worsened in emerging adulthood. Higher death rate than adolescents, 12-18 5% don't exercise why 19-26 46% don't exercise.
Turning toward each other instead of away
Spouses are adept at turning each other regularly. They see each other as friends. This friendship doesn't keep arguments from occurring, but it can prevent differences from overwhelming the relationship. In these good marriages, spouses respect each other and appreciate each other's point of view despite disagreements.
Sternberg's Consummate Love
Sternberg proposed a triarchic theory of love in which love can be thought of as a triangle with three dimensions passion, intimacy, and commitment. The strongest love is consummate love
romantic Love
Strong components of sexuality and infatuation, and as well-known love. It often predominates in the early part of a love relationship. A meta-analysis found that males show higher avoidance and lower anxiety about romantic love than females do. sexual desire is the most important ingredient for romantic love
Anxious attachment style
These individuals demand closeness, are less trusting, and are more emotional, jealous, and possessive.
recognized as being influenced by emotion
Understand that their thinking is influenced by emotions. However, too often negative emotions produce thinking that is distorted and self serving at this point in development
Divorced Adults
United States have one of the highest divorce rates in the world. Youthful marriage, low educational level, low income, not having religious affiliation, having parents who are divorced, and having a baby before marriage increases divorce rates. Characteristics of a partner can increase it if they are alcoholism, psychological problems, domestic violence, infidelity, and inadequate division of household labor. Most marriages divorce in 1-10 years. 5-10 is the peak.
Avoidant attachment style
avoidant individuals are hesitant about getting involved in romantic relationships, and once they are in a relationship they tend to distance themselves from that partner.
intimacy
emotional feelings of warmth, closeness, and sharing in a relationship.
reflective, relativistic, and contextual
engage solving problems, they might think deeply about many aspects of work, politics, relationships and other areas of life. post formal thought holds that the correct answer to a problem requires reflective thinking and may vary from one situation to another. reflective thinking continues to increases and becomes more internal and less contextual in middle age.
Love maps
individuals in successful marriages have personal insights and detailed maps of each other's life and world. They aren't psychological strangers. In good marriages, partners are willing to share their feelings with each other. They use these "love maps" to express not only their understanding of each other but also their fondness and admiration
attitudes and behavior of lesbians and gay males
lesbians have fewer sexual partners than gays, and lesbians have less permissive attitudes about casual sex outside a primary relationship than gays do.
Marital Trends
marriage rate in the united states declined. 6.7 in 1000 to 8.2 in 2000. In 2012 48.6 percent of Americans were married down from 72 percent in 1960. First married are 30 years old for men and 27 for women. Internet relationships don't usually last for more than two years. So meeting face to face is better. Men are more happy in there marriages than women are.
Married Adults
personal fulfillment both inside and outside marriage has emerged as a goal that competes with marital stability. All couples has optimistic forecasts of how their marriage would change over the next four years. Marriages last with ethnicity and education. People with bachelors get married and stay married for more than 20 years. Asian women were the most likely of all race to be first married and last 20 plus years.
Passion
physical and sexual attraction.
unemployment
produces stress whether the job is loss temporary, cyclical, or permanent. 21 century had high unemployment rate. unemployment is linked to physical problems(heart attack stroke) and mental problems (depression and anxiety), maritial difficulties, and homicide. life satisfaction drops when your fired and even if you find another job your still not the same. When you lose your job your self esteem goes down as well.
Postformal thought
reflective, relativistic, and contextual, provisional, realistic, recognized as being influenced by emotion.
Secure attachment style
securely attached adults have positive views of relationships, find it easy to get close to others, and are not overly concerned with or stressed out about their romantic relationships, these adults tend to enjoy sexuality in the context of a committed relationship and are less likely than others to have one-night stands.
heterosexual attitudes and behavior
1/3 had sex twice a week or more, 1/3 had sex a few times a month, 1/3 a times a year to none. married people had more sex than single people. Most Americans aren't kinky. 96% said vaginal sex was very or somewhat appealing. oral sex was third place while second place was watching their partner undress. 75% of men and 85% of women who were married said that they were unfaithful. Men think about sex more than women. 54% of men think about it everyday or several times a day while 67% of women think about it few times a week to a few times a month. Men are more engaged in masturbation, using porn, casual sex, permissive attitudes than females. A lot of sex equals greater life satisfaction.
exercise
1/5 of adults do 30 min aerobic exercise everyday and exercise vigorously so that the heart rate is 60% up. 18-29 years 56.8 percent were more likely to exercise. Men are more likely to exercise than women. exercising can decrease depression and anxiety and give higher life satisfaction.
Piaget post-formal operational
11-15 years of age adolescents which are more logical, abstract, and idealistic thinking than the concrete operational thinking of 7-11 years old. Young adults are more quantitatively advanced in their thinking in the sense that they have more knowledge than adolescents possess. knowledge is increased in specific areas. Many adults do not think in formal operational ways at all.
Erickson's intimacy vs isolation
At this time, individuals face the developmental task of forming intimate relationships. If young adults form healthy friendships and an intimate relationship with a partner, intimacy will be achieved; if not, isolation will result.
career & work
Earing a living, choosing an occupation, establishing a career, and developing in a career. hard work and long hours will produce a path to status, security, and happiness. 12-22 people had a clear path on what they want to be. 60% had service learning or fruitful discussions with a career counselor. They also seek a feeling of purpose.
gay and lesbian adults
Legal context of marriage created barriers to breaking up that did not exist for same-sex partners. They are the same as straight marriages. Lesbian couples are 5 times more likely to raise a kid. But most of them want long term relationships.
Benefits in marriage
Live longer, healthier lives. An unhappy marriage can shorten your life by 4 years. Happy marriages have less physically and emotionally stressed.
cohabiting Adults
Living together in a sexual relationship without being married. 60% of people do this before getting married. Sweden is the highest. Fewer than 1 out of 10 make it. It's easier to destroy this than a marriage. If you do this before marriage then you have a higher divorce rate. But if you do it in your mid twenties it can actually help you.
substance abuse
Male college students and young adults are more likely to take drugs than their female counterparts.
provisional
Many young adults also become more skeptical about the truth and seem unwilling to accept an answer as final. They come to see the search for truth as an ongoing and perhaps never-ending process.
making marriage work
Marriages will work with there are establishing love maps, nurturing fondness and admiration, turning toward each other instead of away, letting your partner influence you, creating shared meaning.
Adolescence to Adulthood
Occurs from approximately 18-25 years of age. experimentation and exploration characterize the emerging adult. At this point in their development, many individuals are still exploring which career path they want to follow, what they want their identity to be, and which lifestyle they want to adopt.
dual earner couples
Special problems finding a balance between work and the rest of life. Like who cleans or who picks up the kids. they range in adaptive strategies to coordinate their work and manage the family side of the work family equation. Gender inequality doesn't exist. Women are more likely to care for the kids and the man is the one who is working. Also women don't get paid as much as men.
Creating shared meaning
The more partners can speak candidly and respectfully with each other, the more likely they are to create sheared meaning in their marriage. This also includes sharing goals with one's spouse and working together to achieve each other's goals.
Realistic
Young adults understand that thinking can't always be abstract, in many instances, it must be realistic and pragmatic.
Commitment
cognitive appraisal of the relationship and the intent to maintain the relationship even in the face of problems.
Sources of sexual orientation
compared with men, women are more likely to change their sexual patterns and desires. Women are more likely than men to have sex with same sex and opposite sex. Women are more likely to be bi. 2.7% of men and 1.7% of women had same sex in the past year.sexual orientation is determined by genetic, hormonal, cognitive, and environmental factors.