COM 220 Final; Ch. 9 Conflict

Kitchen-Sinking

everything except the kitchen sink is thrown into the argument

The Middle Stages (constructive)

-agenda building -bracketing -don't interrupt except for clarification -recognize and acknowledge each other's point of view

Conflict Management Skills

-attend to the relationship level of meaning -communicate supportively -listen mindfully -take responsibility for your thoughts, feelings, and issues -check perceptions -look for points of agreement -look for ways to preserve the other's face -imagine how you'll feel in the future

The Early Stages (unproductive)

-communication is disconfirming -cross-complaining -negative climate and mind reading

Disconfirming Communication

-communication that fails to confirm individuals -not replying, refusal to acknowledge

Social Media and Conflict

-conflict exists in social media environments -key advantages to online environment is ability to step aside during a conflict check perceptions with others to manage conflict -flaming

The Later Stages (unproductive)

-counterproposals -excessive metacommunication

Social Groups Shape the Meaning of Conflict Behaviors

-cultural differences regarding conflict -differences among social communities

Guidelines for Effective Communication During Conflict

-focus on the overall communication system -time conflict purposefully -aim for win-win conflict -honor yourself, your partner, and the relationship -show grace when appropriate

The Middles Stages (unproductive)

-kitchen-sinking -frequent interruptions

Orientations to Conflict

-lose-lose -win-lose -win-win

Conflict May be Expressed Overtly or Covertly

-overt conflict -covert conflict

Constructive Communication Patterns During Conflict

-the early stages -the middle stages -the later stages

Unproductive Communication Patterns During Conflict

-the early stages -the middle stages -the later stages

Cross-Complaining

-when one person's complaint is met by a counter complaint -attempt to divert the conversation and switch the fault

all of the above

Conflict can: benefit a relationship, benefit individuals in a relationship, benefit both a relationship and its individuals, all of the above, none of the above

Conflict Can be Managed Well or Poorly

Depending on how we handle disagreements, conflict can either promote continuing closeness or tear a relationship apart

"NIGYYSOB"

In this one, a person deliberately sets another person up for a fall

bracketing

Janelle and Letisha are arguing over household chores such as doing dishes, vacuuming, and doing laundry. When the subject of laundry comes up, Janelle accuses Letisha of wearing Janelle's clothes without permission. "Look, we can talk about that one later," says Letisha. "For now, let's just figure out who's going to do what chores when." Letisha is demonstrating:

a lose lose orientation to conflict

Someone who believes conflict is destructive to a relationship and should be avoided at all costs is showing:

"Mine is worse than yours"

Suppose you tell a friend that you have two tests and a paper due next week, and your friend says, "You think that's bad? Listen to this: I have two tests, three papers, and an oral report all due in the next 2 weeks!" Your friend expressed no concern for your plight; rather, she told you that her situation is worse. In this game, people try to monopolize rather than listen and respond to each other

3 minutes

The early stages of a developing conflict are critically important to determining whether it will take a productive or unproductive path. This early stage usually lasts:

all of the above

To adopt a win-win orientation toward conflict, we should: recognize our emotions, use I-language, make an effort to see the other person's needs, all of the above, none of the above

Passive Aggression

acting aggressively while denying feeling or acting aggressive

Win-Lose Orientation

assume that one person wins at the expense of the other

Win-Win Orientation

assume that there are usually ways to resolve differences so that everyone gains

Lose-Lose Orientation

assumes that conflict results in losses for everyone and that it is unhealthy and destructive for relationships

Frequent Interruptions

attempts to derail a partner's issues and reroute discussion

Contracting

building a solution through negotiation and the acceptance of parts of proposals

Excessive Metacommunication

communication about communication

The Early Stages (constructive)

communication is confirming

The Later Stages (constructive)

contracting

Games

highly patterned interactions in which the real conflicts are hidden or denied and a counterfeit excuse is created for arguing or criticizing

Agenda Building

involves staying focused on the main issues

Bracketing

noting that an issue arising in the course of conflict should be discussed later

"Blemish"

one person pretends to be complimentary but actually puts another down. Focusing on one thing that is wrong and downplays all that is right

Negative Climate and Mind Reading

poor listening and disconfirmation establish a climate in which dual perspective is low and defensiveness is high

Confirming Communication

recognizing and acknowledging each other's concerns and feelings

Conflict is Natural in Most Western Relationships

the presence of conflict does not indicate that a relationship is unhealthy or in trouble, although how partners manage conflict does influence relational health

Overt Conflict

out in the open and explicit

5 Principles of Conflict

1. conflict is natural in most Western relationships 2. conflict may be expressed overtly or covertly 3. social groups shape the meaning of conflict behaviors 4. conflict can be managed well or poorly 5. constructive conflict management can promote personal and relational growth

grace

After many years of being alienated from her father, Leah decided to forgive him for his violent outbursts that had been fueled by his alcoholism. Leah demonstrated:

Constructive Conflict Management Can Promote Personal and Relational Growth

When managed constructively, conflict provides opportunities for us to grow as individuals and to strengthen our relationships. We deepen insight into our ideas and feelings when we express them and get responses from others. Conflict also allows us to consider points of view different from our own. Based on what we learn, we may modify our own views

strong emotions

Which of the following criteria is NOT part of the definition of interpersonal conflict? strong emotions, expressed tension, a felt need for resolution, perceived incompatible goals, none of the above

none of the above

Which of the following statements about social media and digital communication is NOT true? It is easier to disengage from conflict when communicating online, It is easier to attack others online, It is important to check our perceptions when communicating online, It is sometimes ok to engage in conflict online, None of the above.

"Yes, but"

a game in which a person pretends to be asking for help but then refuses all help that's offered

Counterproposals

each person is more interested in pushing his or her solution than in considering the other person's

Flaming

excessively insulting others online: ignore, ask moderator to intervene

Covert Conflict

exists when people express their feelings about disagreements indirectly

Interpersonal Conflict

exists when there is expressed tension between people who are interdependent, perceive they have incompatible goals, and feel a need to resolve those differences