Comm 202 Midterm Chapters 1-6

Nurture Pg. 62

how much is learned

Schemata Pg. 26

They are patterns we use to organize an interpret information.

Working memory Pg. 12

the information that is accessible to you during a listening event.

Paul Rankin Pg. 4

Results of Rankin's communication time study suggested that people in the early 20th century engaged in listening approximately 42% of their waking hours.

Schemata and perceiving Pg. 50

Schema do this in part by direction our attention to particular aspects of incoming messages. - Schemata help us track information as it comes in and provide as basis for predicting what will be said next.

Alice Mulanax and William Powers Pg. 21

Shifted the focus of fidelity to the receiver's point of view when they introduced the concept of listening fidelity.

Confirmation Pg. 115

confirming messages are one of the important ways in which the identities we seek to construct are maintained. These messages imply an acceptance of and by other.

High Conformity Orientation Pg. 113

stresses the importance of hierarchy and clear rules. Parents enforce the rules and don't tolerate deviation from family norms and expectations. This type of family tends to avoid conflict.

Individualistic Cultures Pg. 33

such as the U.S emphasize individual expression, self-reliance, autonomy, and independence, which leads its members to value being yourself or expressing yourself. As a result, social ties in individualistic cultures are looser than those in collectivistic cultures, such as china and japan.

Paul Schrodt Pg. 118

suggested that families that are more expressive and willing to address issues of contention (willing to engage in some conflict, address uncomfortable topics) tend to have stronger emotional family bonds.

Sibling Relationships Pg. 129

the most enduring and egalitarian connection of all family relationships.

Worthington Fitch-Hauser (WFH) Listening MATERRS model Pg. 9-10

presents our perspective of the listening process.

Engagement Pg. 119

refers to both the overall responsiveness and liveliness of other family members during the telling of the story as well as the level of warmth embedded within the story.

Perspective-taking Pg. 119

refers to family members ability to confirm the perspective of other family members and to take those perspectives and experiences into account while telling a story.

Turn- Taking Pg. 119

refers to not only turns of talk but also how dynamic and/or polite family members are when they listen.

Perspective taking Pg. 31

refers to your ability to put yourself in your friends shoes. If you have not been in a situation like your friend your job is to be able to imagine yourself in her place.

Charles Swanson Pg. 19

"Those who listen, learn. Those who do not or cannot listen, find the classroom frustrating."

Joseph Beatty Pg. 19

"good listener focuses her attention on the other's communication in order to understand the other's meaning or experience." He went on to say that we need to understand the other party to achieve "a kind of fidelity to the meaning or intention of the other."

Glenn Boyd Pg. 116

"listening changes the relationship"

Sympathy Pg. 31

Feeling "for" someone

Collectivistic Cultures Pg. 33

value meeting social and group norms and respecting others of the group. The research indicated that gender specific display rules were associated more with individualistic cultures than with collectivistic cultures. What this means is that women and men different more in how they displayed their emotions if they were from an individualistic culture, while the sexes were more alike if they were from a collectivistic culture

Nature Pg. 62

Temperament or personality

Intrapersonal Information Flow IIF model Pg. 44

- Adapted from an early model of intrapersonal processing developed by early listening scholars Deborah Roach, Larry Barker, and Margaret Fitch-Hauser. - This process illustrates the fundamental elements of cognitive processing that occur during the listening process. - Overview of subconscious and conscious processing.

Stephen Littlejohn and Kathy Domenici Pg. 89

- Addressed the point on why we don't think about the role of listening by saying we normally think of conversations as an event in which people take turns talking. How would conversations change if we thought of them as taking turns as listening? When we take this perspective, listening, not talking, becomes the centerpiece of any conversations.

Conflict and Culture Pg. 103-104

- African americans seem to prefer a highly affect-laden conflict style - Asian americans seem to prefer avoiding conflict or turning to a trusted third party and seeking mediation. - Native americans take a restrained approach to conflict and often turn to tribal elders to help settle the conflict.

Defining Conversation Pg. 88

- An orderly jointly managed sequence of utterances produced by at least two participants who may or may not share similar goals in the interaction. This stresses that all the parties in the interaction working together to manage the sequencing of the speakers utterances. This definition excludes situations where people happen to be in the same space talking past each other.

Internal Stimuli Pg. 44

- Are nerve impulses received by the brain as a result of your own physiological or emotional state. Hunger is an example of a physical internal stimulus, while thoughts are examples of a cognitive internal stimulus, and a feeling of joy is an emotions internal stimulus. Any time internal stimuli prevent us from listening, they become internal noise.

External Stimuli Pg. 44

- Are signs, signals, or any other stimuli transmitted by sources other than the receiver and picked up through the senses. - The senses most used are hearing and seeing. Stimuli picked up subconsciously or consciously, become information that is transmitted to the central nervous system and the appropriate receptor centers in the brain.

David Keirsey Pg. 66

- Argued that this dimension is a primary source of communication problems.

Temperament Pg. 62

- Arnold Buss and Richard Plomin's theory of personality distinguishes temperament in terms of broad personality dispositions. - defined: is generally considered that part of the personality that is "inborn". Essentially, then, temperamental traits form the biological basis of our personalities and is believed to be inheritable. - Your temperament is believed to be quite stable. Thus, your introverted five year old cousin is likely to grow up to be an introverted 20 year old. - Temperament addresses the expressive behavior that a person brings to a role or situation.

Internal Noise Pg. 44

- As stimuli within the person can take many forms. They might occur at a subconscious level, such as a vague feeling of discomfort that occurs when someone stands to close to us. They might also be at a more conscious level, such as being distracted in class when wondering whether you logged off from your bank account site before you left home this morning.

Cognitive Bin Pg. 46

- Associated with thought and the active processing of information. - Included at this level are functions such as the interpretation and storage of information. - Three important factors that influence our cognitive processing. 1. Memory 2. Priming 3. Framing

Conflict Pg. 101

- Can be defined as the interaction of interdependent people who perceive incompatible desires, goals, personal comforts or communication preferences, and the possibility of interference from others as a result of this incompatibility. - conflict can be difficult for listener because it is emotionally defined, addresses our identity, and affects our relationships.

Why parents do not listen: Perspective and parent teen interaction Pg. 125

- Carolyn Coakley and Andy Wolvin found that parents tend to see the lines of communication as open or very open, while teens see them as open or somewhat open. - Parents who have an open style of communication with their adolescents and are able to express their own values, beliefs and expectations are more likely to delay the onset of sexual activity as well as risky behavior on the part of their child.

Bethany Rittle-Johs, Megan saylor, and Kathryn Swygerty learning to problem solve Pg. 120

- Children seem to learn more when their mothers listen. - Also fund that children who have to explain the solution to a problem to their mothers have a much improved ability to solve similar problems later on. - The mothers listening to the explanation was the one most effective in aiding the children's learning process.

Structural expectations and schemata Pg. 50

- Coffee example. Where you have your morning routine and you swear your left your coffee on the bus but really you left it at home.

Kathy Thompson Integrative Listening Model Pg. 9

- Contextually based - based on definition of listening: the dynamic, interactive process of integrating appropriate listening attitudes, knowledge, and behaviors to achieve the selected goals of a listening event. - Four stages: 1. Preparing to listen: establishing listening goals ahead of time, analyzing the interaction context, and addressing potential listening filters. 2. Applying the listening process model: using five distinct components of listening- receiving, comprehending, evaluating, interpreting, and responding- in ways that are appropriate for the specific listening setting. 3. Assessing listening effectiveness: reflecting on one's listening performance by oneself and others. 4. Establishing goals for future listening: ongoing development of listening goal based on self- assessment and feedback.

Attentive listening Pg. 35

- Could be useful in situations where we are trying to diagnose something and keep an open ear and open mind to what the individual is saying. If a person is rambling we can get them on track. Caring health care providers will engage in this type of listening as they try to diagnose what is wrong with a patient. - Listening with an agenda, it includes probing and inquisitiveness. An attentive listener will respond with evaluative questions that guide the responses of the other person. Ex. Your professor might ask you questions that guide you to admitting you chose to go to a concert rather than study. - Attentive listening is from the perspective of the listener.

Perceivers Pg. 67

- Curious, flexible, and like keeping their options open. - delay in making decisions or projects - Too much structure prevents them from being spontaneous and doesn't allow them to integrate play or periods of realization throughout their day. - too much structure = stress - They will focus on information that helps them interpret the same information as just another step along the way to making a decision.

Comprehensive Listening Pg. 25

- Defined as listening for understanding the message. We must pay attention to all of the information coming in: the words; the tone of voice and other paralinguistic cues; all nonverbal cues, including facial expressions; and the interactive situation itself. - To be a better comprehensive listener we can build our vocabulary. - Also involves storing the information into our memory banks. - Allows us to understand and remember information. However, we seldom simply just take information in; we also evaluate the stimuli in some way.

Margarete Imhof and Laura Janusik Systems Model Pg. 9

- Developed to study cultural differences in listening. 1. Persage: includes the interaction of context factors and the mental and motivational aspect of the listener 2. Process: includes different courses of listening action. For example, they feel that listening for information and listening for relationship building are two very different things. 3. Product: reflects the listening outcome the listener seeks and achieves.

Additional Attributes of social support Pg. 97

- Effective social support tends to be non directive as well as invisible. That is, the recipient isn't consciously aware that support is being given and, therefore, doesn't feel any negative consequences of being the recipient. - Negative consequences include feeling obligated to the support giver, losing self esteem, drawing more attention to the problem, and feeling inadequate. - Ex of negative support is overprotectiveness. - Effective support is also reciprocal. - Research shows that to be effective, social support must be well timed.

John Mayer and Peter Salovey Pg. 74

- Emotional intelligence in their eyes is the ability to perceive and express emotions, to understand and use them, and to manage them to foster personal growth. They contend that emotions can inform your decision making in four basic ways. 1. EI helps you to identify or perceive emotions 2. Emotion can be used to facilitate thought 3. understand emotions 4. manage emotions

Empathetic responsiveness Pg. 31

- Essentially what happens is that you take on the emotions being felt by your friend; you feel with her. She is said and upset, so you begin feeling said and upset too.

Event Schemata Pg. 51

- Expectations governing what we expect events to be like, you make assessments about the appropriateness of someone's behavior. - For example, if you go to a boxing match and hear someone in the crowd yell, knock him out, you don't think much about what the person has said. This type of comment is expected. However, if you are walking down a a sidewalk in your favorite shipping area and hear the same phrase you will probably start looking around in alarm and think that something is wrong. As you can see, schemata are used to decode messages.

Listening Fidelity Pg. 20

- Exploring the goodness of fit between what the receiver mentally processes and what the sender actually delivers. - Defined as the degree of congruence between the cognitions of a source following a communication event.

Underaccommodate Pg. 92

- Fail to appreciate, pay sufficient attention to, or simply be unwilling to take into account, the needs of the other party. - Ex. if you have a negative stereotype about older people, you might ignore their needs for you to talk more clearly, use terms they are unlikely to understand or would misinterpret, or fail to appreciate their experiences.

Mothers and fathers respond differently to these rule violations. Pg. 119

- Fathers are more likely to point out violations by using repetition to encourage an appropriate response or be modeling correct responses. - Both mom and dads use clarification to notify children of rule violations (often by making a statement or asking a question) - Mothers are more likely to not respond to a violation, most likely because of a greater concern for maintaining the conversation. For example, if a child respond off topic, mothers are more likely than fathers to change topics.

Empathy Pg. 31

- Feeling "with" someone - a process by which we emotionally connect with others. When we empathize with someone, we use our perceptions of how that person feels to help us determine how we should respond.

Attentiveness affects our storytelling Pg. 95

- For ex. when we feel someone is really listening to us, our stories ten to be longer and more detailed. We also ten to be more expressive and more eloquent. Essentially then, distracted listeners affect both the quantity and quality of our storytelling.

Sources of conflict Pg. 102

- For example we differ in the following: 1. Judgements of what constitutes good evidence (is global warming real or just a weather blip in the history of the world?) 2. Personal interests ( who gets the dog in the divorce) 3. Beliefs about how something should be done ( flip a coin to decide the sinner of have a playoff) 4. Role expectations ( beliefs in what a role entails or power imbalances from the roles) 5. Communication (how something is said how it is interpreted) 6. Values ( what is most important to us: spending money on cancer research or reducing carbon emissions) 7. Views of relationships (lack of trust, respect, or honesty; don't feel listened to)

Akiyo Hirai Pg. 24

- Found a relationship between listening and proficiency in a second language. - he concluded that proficiency in a second language is dependent on the ability to process the spoken language, which we can get only through listening.

Susan Timm and Betty Schroeder Pg. 27

- Found a relationship between training in listening and nonverbal communication and cultural sensitivity. It seems that people who learned to listen and focus on the nonverbal aspects of the message are more aware of and accepting of cultural differences. - This finding suggest that if you are sensitive to the sublets of the relationship between verbal and nonverbal messages, you will probably also be more aware of and open to cultural differences.

Eric Kandel Pg. 46

- Found that repeated stimulation of sensory neurons in cells strengthened and created new synaptic connections that lead to long term memory of appropriate reactions. - If you are accustomed to engaging in the same behaviors every time you are asked to listen to information, that response might become so automatic, or habitual, that you no longer engage the conscious aspects of cognitive functioning necessary for you to truly listening to the information.

Jeff Bannon Pg. 103

- Four Stage Conflict Process 1. You should Inquire, using your active- listening skills to fully focus on the other persons concerns. For example, you might say you seem to be upset that you couldn't have saturday off. is there something going on we need to know about? 2. You should empathize by connecting with other person on his or her emotional level. This is important in an emotionally charged situation, such as when you are dealing with someone who is angry or experiencing other very strong emotions. He suggested expressing empathy, using a two step model. Step one goes like this: I _____ your ______. ( i understand your frustration) This type of statement helps the other know you are attempting to connect with him and better understand his frustration. Second stage he suggests a phrase such as I, too, _____. This blank will be filled in with words that let the other person know that you feel or have felt the same type of emotions ( I've also missed a family rennin because i couldn't get off from work.) 3. Asking for permission. Ask if the other person wants more information; don't just assume that you should automatically give him further explanations. By asking, you give some control over the interaction, and it reduces the chance that you will engage in unwanted problem solving. For example, a question that you would use in a situation such as this is: What information would be helpful? 4. You should both explain and offer choices. If you get a yes in the third stage you can continue the other person's positive involvement by explaining the situation and offering options from which the other party can select.

Allow children to look away Pg. 123

- Gaze aversion is often a sign that the child is taking time to formulate a response. - It appears that the human face is stimulating to small children, which results in its taking up additional cognitive processing time and space.

Bill Arnold Pg. 30

- He adapted the work of Robert Carkhuff when he suggested that we engage in there types of listening that correspond to the color of traffic lights. 1. Red listening: does not involve much listening. Tend to ignore the needs of the other person and instead focus on their own needs. So the red listener will acknowledge the other person in only the most cursory manner. 2. Yellow listening: Characterized by a tendency to be judgmental and evaluate what is said. This is often accompanied by a yes, but or let me tell you how to fix it type of approach. We listen to the message and respond from our perspective without really thinking about whether we truly address the needs of the other party. They acknowledge the speaker but in some way downplay the person's concerns. 3. Green listening: is true, supportive listening, the type that involves listening to the person from where he is, not where we want him to be. Green means you withhold judgment and don't unnecessarily shift away from the other person's concerns or needs. In essence, green listening is empathetic listening.

Ralph Nichols test Pg. 7

- He designed a test to tap listening comprehension of a lecture and compared the results with several standardized tests covering intelligence, social ease, and other mental and social variables. - His results suggested that there are a number of elements affecting listening comprehension, including cognitive factors, language related factors, speaker-related factors, contextual factors, and demographic factors.

Carl Rogers Pg. 31

- He is credited with developing a client centered style of listening that used in therapy and taught to a new generation of therapists. - The primary role of the listening response is to acknowledge a client's feelings and experiences and encourage her to build on and continue communicating them with the therapist.

Intimacy Pg. 115

- High intimacy you are very close to someone, you will probably use a pleasant voice when talking with him as well as have a more pleasant facial expression. You will probably also confirm the relationship and your feelings for the person by using personal nicknames and increasing the level of verbal intimacy. - When level of intimacy is less, as when you are talking with someone you don't know well or are in the midst of a conflict, you may compensate by leaning forward and increasing attention, almost as if you are trying to resolve the loss of connection with the other person.

Feelers Pg. 66

- Higher need for affiliation or belonging. - They value sympathy, empathy, and harmony. - When making decisions they are more subjective, weighing the relative merits of alternatives. - They rely on attuning to what matters to others and an understanding of people. - Thus, they tend to consider what the human effect of their decision will be. - When working with others feelers, value tactfulness because it is related to being a sympathetic and empathetic, two qualities feelers also value quite highly. - Do not understand why thinkers are very blunt and critical. - pay more attention to the human element of a message.

Accommodation Pg. 92

- How we adjust our communication behavior to the other party. - Accommodation allows us to respond to the needs of the other party whether it be for privacy or empathy. - In accommodating listening behavior, we take into account the other party's uniqueness and social identity. This will include making adjustments in your delivery style as well as your nonverbal behavior. - As listeners, when we accommodate our conversational partner, we attempt to fit our responding behavior to that person. We would listen closely, put ourselves in the other person's perspective (be empathetic), and respond in a way that is respectful of the other person.

Wolvin and Coakley Pg. 22

- Identified five categories of listening in their book. - Using a tree as a metaphor for listening, they made discriminative listening the root that feeds the tree; comprehensive listening the trunk that supports the branches; and critical, appreciative, and therapeutic listening the branches.

Conversational Context Pg. 93

- If conversations have difficulty succeeding in noisy settings. If setting is too difficult, the listener less motivation to remain engaged. In addition, it is very difficult to respond appropriately in ways that will sustain a conversation. - Research shows that listeners tend to engage in certain coping behavior in very noisy settings. 1. withdraw form the conversation. With this strategy, the listener might physically remain in the location but mentally seem to withdraw.

Disconfirming messages Pg. 115

- Ignoring people, talking about them as if they were not there, or excluding them from conversations (verbally or nonverbally) are just a few of the ways we can send disconfirming messages. - When we get these types of messages we assume we aren't being listened to, and when we send nonconforming messages, we are sending messages that we aren't willing to listen.

Empathy Pg. 72

- Important aspect of relational listening. - central to building relationships with others.

Manage emotions Pg. 75

- Important part of this dimension is simply being open to feelings, both your own and others. - For example you have to be willing to recognize when you are sad but also when you make someone else sad. - Another aspect of this dimension invokes being able to regulate your feelings and assist others in doing the same. - People who are particularly adept in this area of EI always seem to know just what to say and when to say it, so you end up feeling inspired or happier. - This part leads to self actualization. Essentially the more you know about and understand emotions, the better you understand yourself and the better you can communicate with others. - Low EI competency if you would not recognize how her anger is getting gin the way of finishing the project.

Judy Brownell's HURIER model Pg. 8

- Include elements of the cognitive and speech science perspectives. Also a interpersonally based model. 1. Hearing: the accurate reception of sound. This element of the process includes fouling on the speaker, discriminating among sounds, and concentrating on the message. 2. Understanding: Listening comprehension or understanding the message. This element involves information processing and inner speech. 3. Remembering: retaining and recalling information. 4. Interpreting: using the interaction context and knowledge of the other person to assign meaning to the message. 5. Evaluating: applying your own perspectives and biases to your interpretation. 6. Responding: appropriately responding to the message.

Literal Comprehension Pg. 19

- Includes the ability to identify main ideas, supporting details, and the relationships among ideas. - Ex. Carter must use literal comprehension to understand his professor's lecture on ceramic materials.

High and Low Communication Apprehension Pg. 77

- Individuals experiencing high levels of CA often have difficulty achieving personal and professional goals. For example, the high CA person and the low CA person will differ in terms of their social relations and conversational skills as well as in nonverbal leakage. - Individuals with Low CA tend to be less shy, making it easier for them to establish friendships. They are more likely to date a variety of people, to take on group leadership positions, and to be less conformist. - Individuals with high CA tend to view themselves as less attractive, are more lily to avoid blind dates, and have greater difficulty in developing friendships. They also have a poorer conversational skills, as evidenced by a greater number of nonfluencies (um, you know), longer silences, and increased speech repetitions. They are often unskilled at initiating or controlling conversations and can find it difficult to interrupt others. Finally high CAs tend to have more nonverbal leakage.

Intuitors Pg. 65

- Intuitors are more abstract in their thinking. - They tend to be more imaginative and practical. - They place greater trust in their intuition and imagination than in their senses. In other words, they will sometimes rely on a personal insight or a hunch when deciding a course of action rather than searching out facts or evidence as the sensor would. However, the downside is that intuit ors are often not as good as sensor in focusing on current events or paying attention to details. - Intuitors have a better ability to address potential futures or courses of action. - Looking at the big picture and planning the next stage - Have the vision

Directive Support Pg. 96

- Involves providing unrequested specific types of coping behaviors or solution for the recipient of the support.

Ralph Nichols Pg. 7

- Known as the father of listening because his early research had a profound effect on how scholars viewed listening. - His work motivated scholars to think of listening as a separate and identifiable aspect of communication. - Most important concussion he drew from his work was that listening comprehension apparently involves a number of factors not operative in reading comprehension.

Appreciative Listening Pg. 29

- Listening for sensory stimulation or enjoyment.

Listening as a critical communication competency Pg. 19

- Listening is both a critical communication competency and a critical life competency. - Listening may well be the key for the development and enhancement of language and learning skills.

Discriminative Listening Pg. 23

- Listening to distinguish aural and sometimes visual stimuli. In essence, it is the physical reception of the stimulus. - When you engage in discriminative listening, you focus on whether a stimulus is worthy of paying attention to or not; how you should classify the sound; and detecting changes and nuances in a speaker's pitch, volume, rate, and language related sounds. - Also helps you to determine where the sound is coming from. - Helps your if sound is friend or foe. - This is crucial to your survival that you develop this capability in utero and continue to develop it during the first few months of your life. - It is interesting that this discriminative capability is also illustrated by a newborn's ability to distinguish its mother's voice from other female voices. This happens by four days old. - Another way you use discriminative listening is to make sense out of human sounds. If you are flying on a crowded plane and hear the person sitting next to you make a sound, you will try to determine whether the person is talking or simply making noise. - Key to learning another language as adults. - Even at the discriminative levee, an individual has the responsibility of making the choice of whether or not to attend to the stimulus or make an effort to attend to the stimulus.

Personality Type Pg. 63-64

- Myers Briggs Type indicator is one of the best known and most used personality inventories.

External Interference Pg. 44

- Noise that makes it difficult or impossible to perceive or identify external stimulus. Examples would include the temperature of a room, a train rumbling by, or a competing conversation. External interference is anything in the surroundings of an interaction that hinders you from focusing on the desired stimulus.

Self- monitoring Pg. 91

- Occurs when we attempt to manage the impressions we leave with others. - Low self monitors tend to be more consistent in the "face" they present to others. What this means is that they present a very similar "face" regardless of who is in the conversation or what the context might be. - According to Mark Snyder, low self monitors are more likely to look at a situation and ask, who am i and how can i be while the high self monitor will ask, who does this situation want me to be, and how can i be that person?

Nonaccommodation Pg. 93

- Occurs when we engage in behavior that in some way either excludes the other party or makes them feel excluded. - Ex. male dominant workplace. women feel excluded and sometimes offended. - Students interacting with international students or students who choose to adopt a different style of dress, hair color, or body art.

Janet Bavelas, Linda Coates, and Trudy Johnson Pg. 86

- Offered one explanation for why scholars have largely ignored the importance of the listener to a conversation. - They believe the problem might be traced back to the shannon- weaver model of communication. This model presents the linear configuration. sender--> message --> channel --> receiver ---> feedback - From this perspective the role of the listener is to respond minimally and in a non interruptive manner until it is his or her turn to be the sender. - This research has shown consistently that when appropriate listening behavior is removed, reduced, or eliminated, the performance of the sender as well as the quality of the communication suffer. - For example, when listener feedback is reduced or absent, speakers tend to use more words. However more words do not necessarily make for greater understanding. Other research finds that listeners better understand a speaker's message when they are allowed to provide feedback. - this research conclusion is that a conversation is a cooperative interaction between speakers and listeners.

Listening MATERRS: "A"wareness Pg. 11

- Once you have become fully aware or intentionally listen to a sound or message, you can then say you have moved to awareness. - You engage in mental sorting process, which means you have begun to listen more closely to the message or sound. - Your decision to actively attend to a message is affected by any number of factors. they are motivation and cognitive load.

Relationship between family talk and family schema Pg. 114

- One study found that strong stepfamilies engaged in more everyday talk, openness, and family problem solving than did families struggling to blend. - Other studies have found that families who value expressiveness were more likely to be cohesive and adaptable. - Families with a schema of structural traditionalism and conflict avoidance tend to be less cohesive and adaptable.

Individual differences Pg. 91

- One way we differ is in terms of our cognitive complexity, or the number of personal constructs we use when evaluating messages or our conversational partners. - Those who are cognitively complex tend to be more accurate when processing information about others, are better able to imagine themselves in the other persons's place, and ten to withhold judgement when forming impressions of others. - People who are less complex are more likely to quickly form initial impressions and find it more difficult to change that impression. thus when they receive contradictory information (ella's evil stepmother does something nice for ella) they might choose to minimize or ignore it. - Those who are more cognitively complex should be more capable of keeping an open mind and responding in ways that are appropriate for the specific conversation.

Why parents do not listen: Role Definition Pg. 124

- Open communication behavior on the part of the mothers promotes reciprocal communication from their children - The quality of discussion during a conflict is important to a child's mental health and ability to internalize problems.

Effect of values on Schemata Pg. 50

- People can respond to contradictory information in one of several ways. They can discount or suspend the information, or they can reevaluate their schema and change it. - Discounting information means that you basically ignore it. For example, you might convince yourself that the information is unimportant, that your friend had a good reason for being late, and so on. - Suspended information is left in a type of cognitive limbo. It is significant enough for you to make not of, but you might not be sure what to do with it. In such cases you might TAG the piece of information or the experience. However, one tags will rarely lead someone to adjust or reevaluate a schema. Generally the stronger the schema the more tags will be needed to change it. For example if you have a schema of your best friend as a warm and caring person, he or she will likely have to engage in a number of negative events or actions before you will reconfigure your schema to include the contradictory information.

Emotional Intelligence Pg. 74

- People who are conversationally sensitive are likely to have a higher emotional IQ (emotional intelligence or EI) - Trait emotional intelligence is a new concept introduced by John Mayer and Peter Salovey.

Sociability Pg. 72

- People who are highly sociable are adept at expressing sympathetic responses to others and believe it is important to try to engage in perspective taking. - People who are more egocentric generally do not demonstrate sign of either empathetic or sympathetic responsiveness. - Listeners high in empathy are often quite skilled at picking up on cross-cues. Can tell something is not right. Very good at picking up on subtle, nonverbal cues. - Empathy and sociability are believed to occur together is that highly empathetic individuals also ten to be highly sociable. - Sociability people have awareness, translation, and response.

Conversational Sensitivity Pg. 73-74

- People who are more empathetic then to be more conversationally sensitive. - This refers to how attentive and responsive you are to your conversation partners. - People high in sensitive are good at picking up cues during social interactions. For example, if you are high in conversational sensitivity, you will ten to enjoy conversing with other more than your friends who are low in conversational sensitivity. - High people listeners are more likely to be conversationally sensitive and that persons who ten to be more caring are more apt to be effect listeners.

Speaker affect Pg. 24

- Perceived by listening to the pitch, precision, and patterns of emphasis. - Findings led researchers to conclude that listeners have to work extra hard to decode speech that is different from what they are accustomed to hearing.

Several factors affect social support Pg. 98

- Perceptions of our relationship with the other person and his or her vies of what has upset us. - other factors can include our personalities and our views of the risks and benefits of seeking support. - Whether or not the timing is right seems to be dependent on how willing the partners are to engage in direct communication and listen to both the spoken message as well as the nonverbal message.

H. P. Grice (Grice's Maxims) Pg. 87

- Proposed some conversational maxims based on the key principle that we engage in an interaction to get the maximum amount of information possible and that we expect the other party to cooperate in this effort. This expectation is called the Principle of Cooperation. - To get the information you must focus on both the actual words of the message and any information implied in the comment. That is, as we listen to a conversational partner, we draw inferences based on what is said. these help us complete the picture of what the speaker intend to convey. - Grice's maxims lay out a logic for what we expect from the cooperating partner when we participate in a conversation. 1. Quality 2. Quantity 3. Relation 4. Manner

Communication Apprehension Pg. 76

- Refers to the anxiety we feel when communicating with others. It has been associated with general social anxiety. - Ideally you should be higher in approach predispositions and lower in avoidance predispositions. - First people experience generalized anxiety. This type of feeling is often considered trait or personality based. The public speaker who engages in negative thinking- i can't do this, I'm going to faint- would be said to be expressing a trait-baesd predisposition or motivation. Other scholars suggest that we can also learn apprehensive behavior. Where you had a bad experience with public speaking. This is conditioned anxiety, most likely manifesting itself as sweaty palms, hyperventilation, or nausea. - Research suggests that communication apprehension is heritable.

How people respond to storytelling Pg. 94

- Research suggests that how people respond to our storytelling can actually affect this self confirmation or self verification process. Self verification is possible when our families, friends, and other significant individuals agree with our personal views. - Ex. So when you tell a story about someone being rude to you, your listener might disagree with your interpretation. Because we tend to tell stories that support our self-view, we tend to find it problematic when others don't agree with our interpretations. Thus, if our friends and families outright disagree with our story, we might feel we have been disconfirmed.

Dale Leathers's Pg. 28

- Research tells us that we respond to inconsistent messages in one of the three ways. 1. we attempt to determine the literal meaning of the inconsistent message. 2. we try increasing our level of concentration and search for any overlooked clues that will help us clarify the message. 3. We might withdraw from our interaction with the sending party. - Overall, the upshot of this research is that inconsistency between verbal and nonverbal messages is very disruptive to a relationship and to an interaction.

Character or State Pg. 63

- Researchers often use these terms when discussing the effect that the external environment has on us. For example, your general temperament traits can often be discerned shortly after birth. while your personality state develops as you grow into adulthood. Personality states, then, are those parts of your personality that are shaped by your experiences with your environment and the people within it. - Remember that temperament traits are considered to be relatively stable over the course of your life and they are generally consisted acres situations.

Memory storage and recall Pg. 54

- Schemata help you decide when a message is complete and can be stored in memory or when you need to keep a category open until you gain sufficient information to formulate a working schema. - Most research has shown that schema consistent information is more readily and accurately remembered over time, while schema inconsistent information tends to fade from memory. - A category of information that does succumb to decay, however, is schema irrelevant information, or information that has no relationship to the schema itself. - Suspended information, information that doesn't readily fit a schema, is often held in memory until either you get enough information to form the foundation of a new schema or you can link it to one of your existing categories. - Contradictory information can be held as a tagged memory until a sufficient number of tags lead you to adjust or change your existing schema.

Sensing Pg. 65

- Sensors tend to be quite practical and pragmatic. As a result, they are more interested in the here and now and are less interested in addressing hypothetical futures. - Sensors trust their own senses and personal experiences, eying on their senses and experiences to aid them in assessing their perceptions. - they tend to develop strong observational skills and are generally quite good at retaining and recalling details. - Known for being detailed orientated. - focuses on the details necessary to complete the current stage of the project. - have the follow-through

Laura Janusik (Cognitive model) Pg. 8

- She proposed a model of listening grounded in working memory. - Her model addresses how we process information as well as how we store it. - Her findings support claims that listening is a cognitive process.

Nondirective Support Pg. 96

- Shifts the focus of control from the giver to the receiver. The recipient dictates the support provisions. - Ex. If radley were to ask you advice on how to handle a problem with a group member in his health communication class and you suggest he make an appointment to see his instructor, your suggestion is considered non directive support because radley specifically asked for the advice. - Nondirective support tends to be more effective than directive support.

Why parents do not listen: Inability to accept criticism Pg. 124

- Some parents see disagreements as attacks on their parenting skills. - Parents who are aware they are not perfect, especially those with a good sense of humor, are usually accepting of their teenagers comments and criticisms.

Why parents do not listen: Willingness to listen Pg. 125

- Sometimes it seems that parents and teenagers work at cross-purposes. When one is ready to listen the other isn't ready to talk. Recognizing and taking the opportunities to actively engage each other is crucial for quality family listening.

Speech communication models Pg. 6-7

- Speech communication models look at listening within the context of a communication setting or as a communication specific skill. - Ex of this category include models by Larry Barker and Andy Wolvin and Carolyn Coakley. - Both models highlight the role and importance of receiving information and assigning meaning to messages.

Anthony Clark Pg. 29

- Stated that appreciative listening occurs when a perceptive listener derives pleasure or satisfaction from the form, rhythm, and/or tone of aural stimuli. - Refers to a perceptive listener is someone who is sensitive to the aesthetic elements of spoken and/or musical qualities. - The pleasure of satisfaction element refers to our physical or emotional response to sound. Ex. Baby dinosaur sounds are cute compared to big dinosaurs that are scary. - Should help us become more enlightened and expand our minds as we learn to appreciate a wider variety of sounds. - This is critical if we are going to expand our ability to understand and accept cultures other than the one in which we grew up.

Michael Beatty and James McCroskey Pg. 62

- Study the relationship between interpersonal communication and temperament. They notes that a variety of communicative attributes have been associated with inherited neurobiological processes such as temperament.

April Trees Pg. 101

- Stuided nonverbal and verbal behaviors when giving/ receiving support. - Focusing on conversations between young adults and their mothers, she found that emotion disclosures (I'm really upset, this is driving me crazy) at the beginning of a conversation were a sign that these adults were seeking social support, either emotional or problem focused. - A louder voice combined with less movement apparently suggested to moms that their children were having problems that they needed advice or help with.

David Bohm Pg. 86

- Suggested that human relationships are essentially collaborative activities and a process of creation. - He also believes that in many listening instances we are blocked from fully understanding the other. Our need to protect ourselves and the meanings we create often gets in the way of our ability to truly understand one another. - Argued that we should use collaborative dialogue when we communicate. - It necessarily entails an ability to truly listen to others without bias and without trying to influence others, with a willingness to move beyond our own beliefs. To do this, Bohm essentially argued that we embrace and acknowledge our blockages while fully giving our attention to what our conversational partner is saying.

Laura Janusik Pg. 46

- Suggested that working memory serves us in two important ways: 1. the processing of information 2. Information storage.

Susan Scott Pg. 90

- Talked about the importance of fierce conversations, conversations that thrive on openness and debate, not anger and hostility. - She believes that our successes and failures are built one conversation at a time and stress that the conversation is the relationship. - She argued that when our conversations slow or stop, our relationships are weakened. To be responsive, to engage in fierce conversations, we have to be open to change. - When we assess conversational listening, our assessments should include who the speaker is, what is said, and how it is said as well as the underlying reasons it was said.

Extraverts Pg. 64

- Tend to be outgoing, action oriented, and social. They enjoy spending time with others and find it easy to communicate with them. - Extraverts become energized through their contact with others and might experience a power drain if they experience too much quiet or seclusion. - Quick to speak and slow to listen - tend to work out problems out loud or like to talk to themselves to solve a problem.

People Listening Pg. 70

- Tend to focus on their relationships with others. - good at identifying the moods of others. - moods might rub off on them. This means they might internalize the emotional states of others. - They pay attention to speaker's emotional states. - They will let speakers know they are interested in and concerned about their emotional state. - Feeling has been associated with people listening style - Associated with empathy, sympathy, and conversation sensitivity.

Content listening Pg. 71

- Tend to welcome complex and challenging information, listen to facts before forming judgements and opinions, or favor listening to technical information. - Analyze incoming messages - Interested in how speakers support their claims. - Normally ask speakers to expand on their ideas or provide additional support for their claims. - They will listen to a message in its entirety before forming a conclusion. - associated with thinkers.

Critical Comprehension Pg. 19

- The NCA suggested that a competent listener listens with an open mind. Listening with an open mind means you are aware of your biases and recognize that everyone has a unique perspective. Also means that you will send feedback that indicates your willingness to listen. - Also critical comprehension also includes identifying the speaker's purpose and pattern of organization of the ideas. Should also be able to identify the speaker's bias and prejudice, the effect of that bias and prejudice, and the speaker's attitude. - You will be able to pick up the connotative mean sing, or meanings that are intended rather than literally stated. So when calling your friend a her, you are not being literal; you are engaging in light banter.

Why parents do not listen: Confusion over Acceptance Pg. 124

- The best listening occurs when we accept people just the way they are and accept their views. - Parents have to understand both the content and the underlying emotions involved

listening MATERRS: "T"ranslation Pg. 11-12

- The listener begins to recognize the basic components of the message. - Language begins to be processed, nonverbals are interpreted, schemata are triggered. - Three types of processing of information might occur: 1. Affective listening 2. Rational processing 3. Dual processing

Working Memory Pg. 46

- The memory most related to listening. - This is the active contents of memory.

Social Support Pg. 95

- The most desired and essential types of support we seek from our close relationship partners.

Reasons for inconsistent messages Pg. 28

- The sender might not be clear as to his or her intent. If you don't know what you want to accomplish by sending a message, it will be difficult for you to truly be consisted in all aspects of your message. - A person might also have conflicting intentions in sending a message. - There is a disconnect between what is being said and what the individual actually means. Ex. holding a surprise party from a friend but the friends picks up on your signs. - Information is unpleasant. The message might be bad, but we use nonverbal behavior to take part of the sting out of the message. - Also will use our nonverbal behavior to protect ourselves from being perceived in a negative light. Ex. experience of giving a speech.

Empathetic Listening Pg. 30

- Therapeutic listening is an example of empathetic listening.

Primes Pg. 47

- These are clues embedded in a message that signal how the information should be interpreted. For example, if someone says to you that he wants to discuss an opportunity, the word opportunity will influence how you interpret the message that follows. - The prime helps you decide what to focus on or attend to in the message. - Primes are part of how a message is framed.

Specific Responses Pg. 89

- These are responses that are directly tied to what the speaker is saying. - These responses should be appropriate for the content and emotional load of the speaker's narration. So a sad facial expression is appropriate feedback when we listen to a sad story and so forth.

Speech Science Models (auditory processing models) Pg. 8

- These models seem to focus more o the physiological aspects of listening or hearing and the act of discrimination types of incoming stimulus. - Witkin identified a number of important auditory elements affecting listening, such as pitch/intonation and oral language processing. - These models emphasize two critical aspects of listening: 1. Physical reception of the stimulus 2. the ability to discriminate among pieces of the stimulus.

Introverts Pg. 64

- These people prefer solitary pursuits. They generally find working in groups or being in crowds tiring. They experience a power drain if they socialize with other for too long. Essentially introverts need time alone to recharge their mental batteries. In addition they need time for contemplation and thought. However, that this does not necessarily mean that introverts avoid working in groups or dislike parties. - Quick to listen and slow to speak - want additional time to translate and evaluate information.

Emotion can be used to facilitate thought Pg. 74-75

- They believe that emotions can help you focus your attention and process information more rationally. - Emotions can assist in solving personal problems, can be used to encourage creativity at work, and can lead to more flexible and adaptive communication with others.

Storytelling and Identity Pg. 94

- With our storytelling we maintain and change our identities. - Personal storytelling is important to the development of self identity, not when we are children or young adults, but throughout our lives.

Isabel Myers and Katherine Briggs Pg. 64

- They believe that many of the differences we see in people have to do with the way people prefer to use their minds. - Myers Briggs type indicator measures centers around four bipolar preferences: 1. extraversion/ introversion 2. thinking/ feeling 3. sensing/intuiting 4. judging/ perceiving - Myers and Briggs believe that our preferences indicate two very important things about us. 1. they reveal how we perceive or view things around us. 2. they draw attention to how we evaluate or draw conclusions about these perceptions.

Baveda, Coates, and Johnson Pg. 89

- They examined actual conversations (instead of written descriptions), and their line of investigation raises a number of important points for us to consider. - They pointed out that not all listening responses are verbal or actual words. The researchers identified two kinds of listener responses. 1. Generic responses 2. Specific responses

James weaver and Michelle Kirtley Pg. 73

- They found that people with high people listening style scores- those who express a strong interest in listening/ hearing about the relationships and emotions of others- tended to have higher sympathetic responsiveness scores but lower empathetic responsiveness scores. - One reason for this empathetic split is that people listeners are trying to control their emotions so they can be prepared to offer assistance or help in some active way. - In comparison those scoring high in action and time listening tended to score lower in empathetic responsiveness. - Action and time listeners are more businesslike in their approach to listening. - High content listeners are unique in that they appear to have the ability to deal with someone who is emotionally upset without experiencing emotional contagion; that is, like strong people listeners, they remain in control of their emotions.

Frames Pg. 47

- They function in two ways. don't know the 2nd way 1. they are an aspect of how speakers compose their messages. At the same time, frames act as cognitive structures that guide information processing. Thus, the way in which a message is framed will promote a particular view, evaluation, solution, and so forth. A message is framed affects individual perception.

Time listening Pg. 71

- They prefer hurried interactions - engage in communicative time management. - No unusual for them to check their watches or have clocks displayed in their workplaces. - They might interrupt the speaker to hurry the conversation along or they might tell the speaker how much time they have available for listening. - Also not unusual for them to discourage speakers they perceive to be wordy or rambling. - Associated with thinking, the dimension that addresses how we make decisions.

Judgers Pg. 67

- They value time and using it effectively. - push others for decisions - They organize and plan a schedule - lack of structure = stress - Value work before play - Strong work ethic - They will focus on information that helps them to reach the closure they desire

Thinkers Pg. 66

- Thinkers have strong analytic skills. - They like focusing on the technical aspects of problems. - They value logic, truthfulness, and criticism as well as objectivity, justice, and fairness. - When making decisions, they analyze things in terms of causes and effects, and logic guide their behaviors and actions. - Thinkers will listen for causes and effects as well as for facts and evidence they believe will assist them in making a logical, objective and fair decision. - When engaging in discussions, thinkers stress truthfulness and criticism, two aspects they value highly.

Scripts Pg. 48

- This address the sequence of actions associated with a particular event. - When you think of such stores, Cinderella likely reflects what you typically think of as a script. - For example, you have a script for the sequence of events that occurs when you go to your typical college class (find your seat, get your books ready, silence your phone, stop talking when the professor begins to speak).

Mechanical Bin Pg. 45

- This addresses learned behavior. Included in this type of processing are those everyday tasks that seem to take little cognitive effort on your part. - The knowledge has become automatic, almost encoded into your muscles. - More recent research indicates that some of this processing might become programmed behavior or muscle memory.

People Schema Pg. 51

- This affects how we perceive individuals. We often use these schemata to help us categorize people so we can better understand them or make decisions about their credibility. - One aspect of people schema is personality. - Stereotypes as schemata contain value- laden attitudes and beliefs.

EI helps you to identify or perceive emotions Pg. 74

- This also goes for others emotions. - They argued that this perception, also known as emotional awareness, can go beyond people to encompass all kinds of things, including your pets, arts, home, and other objects. - Important they have the ability to identify the emotions involved, both yours and others.

Understand emotions Pg. 75

- This dimension is at the core of empathy. - What sets this aspect of EI apart is the emphasis on how emotions affect the changes that occur over the course of a relationship. It addresses the greater variety of emotional or feeling states people can experience.

Sensing and Intuiting Pg. 65

- This dimension is particularly important to how you perceive and learn things. It has been described as the method by which people become "'aware of thing, people, events or idea information gathering, the seeking of sensation or inspiration, and the selection of the stimulus to be attended to. - Such differences can affect a number of listening levels, including awareness and recall.

Instinctive Bin Pg. 46

- This function includes the physiological functioning of the human system. You don't have to think about how to sneeze; you just sneeze when your nose becomes irritated by some element such as pepper. This instinctive function also includes the functioning of the five senses through which you receive external stimuli. It is in this capacity that the instinctive function has an effect on listening.

Short- term working memory Pg. 46

- This has a direct effect on attending. Using this aspect of memory, you move information from reception to cognitive interpretation. - Helps you navigate between the awareness, translation, and evaluation functions as you process incoming mental stimuli. Also helps you incorporate the new information with what you already know by allowing you to retrieve appropriate information from your long-term memory. - Short-term working memory becomes the recall link in the listening MATERRS model.

Emotional Bin Pg. 45

- This includes attitudes, values, and beliefs that guid how you live your life. These three things form the predisposition used when responding to people, events, places. or objects. 1. Beliefs are your perceptions of the real world. You act on these perceptions as if they were true and real. Consequently these beliefs influence the way you perceive information as a listener and will influence the decisions you make about the information. 2. Attitudes refer to your view of whether something is good or bad. 3. Values reflect your view of what ought to be. **Thus, your values form the core of the way you think things should be; beliefs reflect your views of the way things are, while attitudes signal how much or how little you like something. Ex. If you are concerned about global warming, that concern likely indicates that you value our environment and caring for it, that you believe global warming is a threat to the environment. As a result, you might develop a positive attitude toward alternative fuel cars.

Schema Pg. 48

- This is a cognitive structure consisting of representations of some defined area. These structures contain general knowledge, including expectations about relationships among attributes function. This knowledge helps you identify what a stimulus is as well as make sense of it. - One of the early wasps we experience schemata is in our expectations for how the information is supposed to be presented. - For example, if your professor were to say, once upon a time, you would have little difficulty in taking up the thread of the story.

Gender Schemata Pg. 52

- This is a subcategory of people schema. - Gender schemata are cognitive representations of traits, attitudes, behaviors, occupations, and other information associated with maleness and femaleness. - this affects how you interpret information and make inferences and predictions. - Gender roles fall under this category

Occupational Schemata Pg. 52

- This is another type of people schema - For example you might think firefighters are supposed to be men or that kindergarten teaches are supposed to be women. However, the reality of both of those occupations is that both men and women choose to enter them. - Five most trusted occupations in great Britain are doctors, teachers, professors, judges, and clergy. - In U.S nurses, pharmacist, physicians, police officers and engineers.

Cognitive Complexity Pg. 77-78

- This is important because it affects how we process information and how we form schemata. - Addresses how you perceive the incoming message, organize it, and use it to interpret the communication event. - When looking at differences, we look at the number of constructs you are able to use or develop. For example, individuals who are lower in cognitive complexity might describe Ben as a white male, majoring gin media studies, who has one brother and one sister, while someone who is more cognitively complex might describe Ben as all of theses things as well as funny, friendly, and gregarious. - The ability to provide complex, detailed descriptions is often a sign someone is more cognitively complex. Normally will use more abstract descriptions. - This is not related to who smart you are but more of an expert-novice distinction. People whoa re expert have more abstract and better developed cognitive schemata. - Cognitive complexity is believed to be associated with social perceptions skills including emphatic perspective taking. It follows, then, that if you are more cognitively complex, you might be better able to understand how someone is feeling. - People who tend to be engaged in polarization are believed to be less cognitively complex. For example they tend to see people in bipolar dimensions: smart/stupid, mean/nice, and so forth. - individuals who are more complex will move beyond the concrete and begin to focus greater attention on more abstract levels of information, such as psychological data and how it fits in with their concrete data: confident, secure, happy, and so on. At this level you would begin assigning causes or reasons for why Ben does a particular thing. The ability to do this is called person-centeredness. - Cognitively complex individuals are more likely to be person centered, tailoring their messages to match the people they are interacting with. - Cognitive complexity is associated with awareness, translation, retention, and response. There is some debate about whether cognitive complexity is motivation or situational.

Individual Receiver Apprehension Pg. 91

- This is linked to cognitive complexity. - This is a type of anxiety that impairs our ability to manage information. - Those who are high in this apprehension tend to experience anxiety and anger or antipathy when facing an interaction. These emotions have a negative effect on their willingness to receive or interpret incoming messages. - People who are highly receiver apprehensive don't want to listen. - One reason they might not want to listen is that they also tend to be intellectually inflexible and fear having to comprehend complex or abstract information.

Speech Intelligibility Pg. 24

- This is one concept that helps clarify discriminative listening. - Speech intelligibility involves a sender and a listener who processes the signal to arrive at some level of understanding or intelligibility. When you use discriminative listing you pick up speaker affect and voice quality as well as the words themselves.

Overaccomodation Pg. 92

- This is talking down to or being condescending. - Ex. using diminutive (sweetie, my dear, little darling) overly simplistic grammar, overnunciation, or excessively slow speech in combination with continual head nodding and excessive smiling and touching. - We find this type of interaction in health care settings when nurses talk in a patronizing way to patients.

Reception Pg. 44

- This is the neural reception of the stimulus. When you register the noise of the train rumbaing by, whether you pay attention to it or not, you have received the sound. If that reception doesn't capture your attention, you will quickly dismiss the sound without registering its presence. To listening you need to choose to attend to the stimulus that you have received.

Quality Pg. 87

- This maxim suggests that we expect the other person to tell us the truth of at least what she believes to be the truth.

Therapeutic Listening Pg. 29

- We engage in this type of listening when we want to show support for someone who is troubled. All of us need someone to just litem, someone who will withhold the impulse to fix the situation or to give advice. - There are five skills essential to therapeutic listening: 1. Focusing attention 2. Demonstrating attending behaviors 3. developing a supportive communication climate 4. listening with empathy 5. responding appropriately All of these skills keep the focus on the other person and away from the listener, who serves the function of supporter. - A good therapeutic listener resists the urge to fix or give advice.

Quantity Pg. 87

- Which leads us to expect the speaker to give us useful information that we don't already know without overwhelming us with too much information. This maxim allows us to rely on our own storehouse of knowledge to interpret the speaker's comments. - For example, when a friend tells you that studying really paid off, he doesn't have to tell you he passed the test; you will assume that from his statement. If, on the other hand, you know someone who seems to constantly dominate the conversation, then he might be violating or breaking this unwritten rule of conversation.

Inattentive Listening Pg. 95

- Worse than disagreeing, another means of disconfirming a story is inattentive listening. - Attentiveness is central to social interactions. We can tell when others are paying attention to our stories by the verbal uh-huhs or nonverbal eye contact and head nods. these attentional cues are also important for maintaining the flow of conversations and provide the means by which we let others know we understand and support what they say.

Long- term memory Pg. 47

- Your memories of language, events that have happened to you, the lessons you learn in school, and other information are all stored in your long-term memory. - This aspect of working memory goes beyond that ability to recall, it also includes your ability to use that recalled information. - To understand most incoming information, you need to be able to access the information you have stored in long-term memory.

Perceptual Screens Pg. 44

- are psychological filters that affect how you perceive the stimulus. Using the example of the train, we can illustrate how different experiences can affect how one perceives the sound. If you live by train you perceive the sound as ordinary, so you ignore it. - Perceptual filters can also take the form of stereotypes about people.

Action listeners Pg. 71

- focus less on personal relationships and more on errors and inconsistencies within an incoming message. - Focus on information related to the task they are working on. For example nolvia is also a representative in the SGA. If she is engaging in action listening, she is more likely to note that the description of expenditures for a concert do not add up to the amount that was discussed earlier. - They prefer logical, organized speakers and direct, to the point message. - often listen to bullet point or outline form. - Action listeners jump to conclusions because they have not fully listened to the speaker. - Become frustrated when they do not fully understand the message. - Associated with thinking, sensing, and judging - analyze incoming messages

Michael Nichols Pg. 30

- he argued that empathy is the essence of good listening, nothing that it is part intuition and part effort , it is the stuff of human connection. he went one saying that listening is the art by which we use empathy to reach across the space between us. A bit later in his book, the lost art of listening, he said that listening often takes a deliberate effort to suspend our own needs and reaction and to control the urge to interrupt or argue.

Kittie Watson and Larry Barker Pg. 69

- identified specific individual listening style preferences. - a short time ago, Watson and barker, along with James weaver, developed the listening styles profile, a measurement designed to identify our individual preferences. They identified four listening styles: 1. People 2. Action 3. Content 4. Time

Emotional focused support (Burleson) Pg. 100

- includes helping distressed others work through their upset by listening to, empathizing with, legitimizing, and actively exploring their feelings. - Ex. your significant other just dumped you, your dog was hit by a car, etc - this is important given that the stress and emotional pain often seem from the invalidation of the self, with either directly or indirectly.

Communibiology Pg. 62

- is a term referring to a research paradigm that emphasizes the "neurobiological foundations of human communication behavior". - The study of biologically-based personality traits and their effects on communication - many of the researchers studying this area argue that personality and communication are inherently intertwined. They believe that our communication behaviors are, in part, influenced by biology.

Relation Pg. 87

- leads us to believe the information we get is going to be relevant to the purpose of the interaction as well as to the flow of the conversation. - So we expect to get information that we don't already obviously know and that is relevant to the specific conversation. When this expectation is violated, it frequently leads to confusion or the feeling that we were being misled.

Manner Pg. 87

- leads us to expect the speaker to be brief, orderly, and unambiguous. - Unfortunately this maxim assumes that we share the same level of ability and knowledge about the language we use to converse. If this assumption isn't correct, we are talking with someone who isn't as well versed in our language, we ten to rely on tactfulness and politeness to help us cope with this turn of events. - For example, when you talk with a young child you adjust your expectations of her ability to use the language in a sophisticated manner.

Avoidance Predispositions Pg. 76

- make you feel uncomfortable.

Laura Janusik and Andy Wolvin Pg. 4

- measured media usage and looked at communication in specific settings such as work and family/friend time. They concluded that on average we spend at least 50% of our day listening to either another person or to media. - Also found that use of technology has affected how much time we interact face-to-face. Their research suggests that while overall communication time has increased, it appears that for the first time, we spend less than 50% of our communication time speaking (20%) and listening (24%) - Their study indicates that we still spend more time listening in a face-to-face context than we do in any other communication activity

Critical Listening Pg. 26

- most important type - It is in critical listening that we think about the message, make inference, and evaluate both the speaker and the message. This type of listening is important any time we need to assess the value of information. It is perhaps most important when we are listening to information meant to persuade us. - Should be able to distinguish if story is factual or not. - Should be able to recognize discrepancies between verbal and nonverbal messages. - A good critical listener knows that the vast majority of a message is contained in the nonverbal behavior of the speaker.

Brant Burleson: positive social support Pg. 97

- provides several suggestions for how we can respond as supportive conversational listeners. 1. express your understanding of the situation and the other's feelings (avoid saying i know exactly what your going through) 2. convey your interest in listening. 3. use open ended questions. 4. Encourage the other to talk or explain the situation or her feelings, to tell her story 5. Clearly express your desire to help 6. express positive regard or affection. 7. Express concern and active interest in the situation. 8. show that you are available for the person. 9. Express your support ( I've got your back; I'm behind you all the way.)

Approach Predispositions Pg. 76

- refer to communication behaviors that lead you to interact comfortably with others.

Self- Verification Pg. 94

- refers to how we as individuals construct our own social worlds. The social world we construct is based on perceptions of ourselves and includes our self-concept and self-esteem, and it helps us to support our beliefs about ourselves. - Ex. if you view yourself as funny, you are more likely to tell personal stories that reflect the funny things that you did or that happened to you in the past week. If you value work and play then you are more likely to tell tales related to the work or projects you completed.

Personality Pg. 62

- refers to personality traits we might possess. - Traits are enduring personal qualities or attributes that influence behavior across situations. - The underlying assumption of the study of temperament is that our personality traits should meaningfully differentiate us from other. In other words people with different traits, such as introverts and extraverts, should systematically differ from one another.

Memory and Organization Pg. 54

- research shows that information about people is stored in a different category than information about objects. - Our schema based expectations also undergird how we organize information. For example, if your friends says that a group wen tot the beach and rented a place, you will probably store the information in the following manner: [a group of friends] [vacationed on a beach] [rented a place]. You will break the information down into logical units, separating people form actions and places. When you recall this you will probably say that your friends rented a condo on the beach. Using your schema you know that people who rent places don't stay in hotels; they rent either a house or some type of condo. So when you reconstruct the story, you reconstruct it based on your schema and add the element of the condo.

Laura Janusik Pg. 86

- said that such a perspective ignores the transactional nature of conversations. All parties are both a sender and receiver , creating a transactional process where the listener both receives and responds.

Problem focused support (Burleson) Pg. 100

- seek support to solve a problem. ex. you flunked the last exam, your dog keeps jumping the fence, etc.

Schema theory Pg. 55

- shows that human interactions processing's dynamic. In other words, listeners actively seek to make connections in their minds. Schemata help prioritize information based now hat is relevant or irrelevant for the purpose at hand. - Another way that schema theory explains what happens to information during the listening process sis to account for the effect of culture on how listeners structure schemata and subsequently interpret information. Being open to the cultural values of others helps listeners more accurately understand what the speaker is saying and intending. - Third way schema affect listening is by providing a means to incorporate the context of the listening event. Schemata help listeners make sense of the world around them. - Fourth way schema affect listening is assisting in the understanding of conversation and listener perceptions.

Roger Schank and Robert Abelson Pg. 49

- suggests that narrative information that evokes one of the story lines in your story bank can lead you to rely on a script rather than paying attention to the details of the incoming information. - When you recognize the story, you are steered toward listening to specific aspects of the story, particularly those that are really important to you. In essence, the schema helps you prioritize information so you focus your energy on that which is most important to you.

Generic Responses Pg. 89

- these include nonverbal actions such as nodding and vocalizations such as "mhm" or "uh-huh". Anther term that has been used to describe this type of response is back channel. Generic or back channel responses aren't specifically connected to what the speaker is saying. Instead they serve as markers that we are cognitively engaged in what the speaker is saying. - If we give generic response when we are not cognitively engaged, we are merely making listening noises and essentially deceiving the speaker.

Loretta Pecchioni and Kelby Halone Pg. 96

- they determined how to provide social support. - they said it depends on the type of relationship and the support that is required.

Bob Bostrom and Enid Waldhart pg. 8

-Felt that component so memory were essential to understanding the listening process. - They did find relationships between memory and listening and concluded that listening includes short and long term components.

6 suggestions to model Children's listing behaviors Pg. 122

1. Avoid distractions 2. Be a good role model 3. Be direct 4. Asking children to paraphrase 5. Allow children to look away 6. Reward good behavior

Brant Burleson: negative social support Pg. 99

1. Be wary of giving advice (it should be desired, be sound, and have the ability to actually solve the problem with few significant disadvantages) 2. Avoid platitudes (it will all work out.) maybe it will but when someone is in the middle of a crisis, he likely won't feel that way. 3. Don't tell people they should stop crying. everyone releases emotions differently. 4. avoid telling people that what they are feeling is wrong, embarrassing, and so forth. 5. dont minimize what people are feeling (its not such a bid deal) 6. avoid making the support seeker bad or responsible for the problem. (well, you didn't lock your car; no wonder your CDs were all stolen) 7. Don't tell others how they should be feeling or that they should forget about the problem or ignore their feelings.

Example 2 ch. 6: Strong families display multiple characteristics and similarities. Identify the six characteristics of family strength discussed in this textbook, and explain how family talks might be important to reinforcing these characteristics.

1. Commitment to the family and well-being of its members. 2. Positive communication and the ability to engage in constructive conflict management 3. Regular expression and confirmation of affection among family members 4. Enjoyment of quality time together 5. A feeling of spiritual well- being 6. Ability to effectively mange stress and crisis situations As your read the list you can see that both talk and listening are critical to several of these characteristics. having family talks play a huge role in all six of these characteristics. For example to have positive communication you have to be able to talk and listen. Family talks provide all these six characteristics in my opinion. When you are having a family talk you are engaging in in positive communication, commitment to the family, spending quality time together, etc. All these characteristics are expressed in family talks and make ones feel loved and accepted. These families establish high conversation orientation which encourages family talk time.

Individual differences that influence our listening Pg. 63

1. personality type 2. Listening style preference 3. communication apprehension 4. receiver apprehension 5. Cognitive complexity

Example 3 Ch. 4: According to researchers, being aware of Emotional Intelligence can inform one's decision-making in what four ways?

1. EI helps you to identify or perceive emotions 2. Emotion can be used to facilitate thought 3. understand emotions 4. manage emotions

Once information gets into the system, you begin to sort it so it can be process appropriately. There are four distinct areas. Pg. 45

1. Emotional 2. Mechanical 3. Instinctive 4. Cognitive

Factors affecting empathy Pg. 32

1. Gender 2. Culture 3. Sociability

Example 3 Ch. 2: What are the six levels of listening identified by Van Slyke?

1. Passive listening 2. Responding listening 3. Selective listening 4. Attentive listening 5. Active listening 6. Empathetic listening

Example 3 Ch. 1: The Integrative Listening Model focuses on distinct stages of listening. Please label and define each stage.

1. Preparing to listen: establishing listening goals ahead of time, analyzing the interaction context, and addressing potential listening filters. 2. Applying the listening process model: using five distinct components of listening- receiving, comprehending, evaluating, interpreting, and responding- in ways that are appropriate for the specific listening setting. 3. Assessing listening effectiveness: reflecting on one's listening performance by oneself and others. 4. Establishing goals for future listening: ongoing development of listening goal based on self- assessment and feedback.

Example 3 Ch. 5: What are Grice's conversational maxims? Identify and describe each one.

1. Quality: - This maxim suggests that we expect the other person to tell us the truth of at least what she believes to be the truth. 2. Quantity: Which leads us to expect the speaker to give us useful information that we don't already know without overwhelming us with too much information. This maxim allows us to rely on our own storehouse of knowledge to interpret the speaker's comments. 3. Relation: - leads us to believe the information we get is going to be relevant to the purpose of the interaction as well as to the flow of the conversation. - So we expect to get information that we don't already obviously know and that is relevant to the specific conversation. When this expectation is violated, it frequently leads to confusion or the feeling that we were being misled. 4. Manner: leads us to expect the speaker to be brief, orderly, and unambiguous. - Unfortunately this maxim assumes that we share the same level of ability and knowledge about the language we use to converse. If this assumption isn't correct, we are talking with someone who isn't as well versed in our language, we ten to rely on tactfulness and politeness to help us cope with this turn of events.

Types of schema Pg. 51

1. Social Schemata 2. People Schemata 3. Event schemata 4. Gender schemata 5. Occupational schemata

Personality is divided into two broad categories: Pg. 62

1. Temperament 2. Personality

Parent-Child conflict Pg. 126

Adolescents from families with higher levels of positive family expressiveness tend to have better family relationships.

Social Schemata Pg. 51

Affect the way we perceive people, relationships, and events. These are expectations about how the social world operates. - These schemata include how we organize our knowledge about people, self, social roles, and events. Other names associated with this type of schema are prototypes, stereotypes, and scripts.

Sunwolf and Lawrence Frey Pg. 118

Agree with Kellas comment on the relationship between storytelling and personal identity. They argued that storytelling is a tool for the construction of shared identities and communities. Believed we are socialized via the stories we hear.

Multidimensional listening Pg. 22

Any attempts to measure listening should take into account as many of theses dimensions as possible.

Joseph Beatty Pg. 3

Argued that good listening is both an intellectual as well as a moral virtue because it is fundamental t understanding both yourself and others. He went on to say that it is only with good listening that you have the ability to transform yourself and others.

listening MATERRS: "R"esponding Pg. 13

At this level you make decisions about how you will respond to the other party. Your internal response occurs at both the translation and the evaluation levels.

Dual processing in Translation Pg. 12

At times effective listening requires you to use both affective and rational procession got translate a message.

Be direct Pg. 123

Avoid making statements in the form of a question. "Would you like to go study now" it sounds like an option or choice is being offered when in reality it is not.

Emotional Closeness with siblings Pg. 129

Based on shared experiences, trust, concern, and enjoyment of the relationship

When does listening bein? Pg. 3

Before you are even born. During the last trimester of a pregnancy, the fetus actively processes incoming auditory input.

Responsive Listening Pg. 35

Described this as making acknowledgements, either verbal or nonverbal, that we are listening. We would prefer to call this responding listening because all we are doing is going through the motions of listing and making listening noises rather than truly engaging our listening brain. This type of listening can potentially damage a relationship because we remain disengaged as a communicator but send the false message that we are paying attention and listening. This is only useful when exchanging greetings as we pass someone in the hall or other setting. Ex. Person 1: hello person 2: fine, thank you? The listener relied on a social schema

Cognitive Models Pg. 7-8

Developed in the field of cognitive psychology. While theses models are not listening specific, they do include in-depth analyses of two essential elements of listening: attention and memory.

Avoid distractions Pg. 122

Do not listen when distracted along with parents as well. Cut out distractions during important conversations.

Intangible conflict Pg. 126

Elements address issues such as what makes your family unique and what binds you together. It can include your level of inclusion or exclusion in the family (the golden child versus the black sheep).

Tangible conflict Pg. 126

Elements focus on specifics of the conflict, such as what time curfew should be.

Emotional Closeness with siblings Pg. 129

Emotional closeness may be expressed in affectionate communication and communication based emotional support, both of which have been related to concepts such as relational satisfaction, relational closeness, and self disclosure.

Importance of high fidelity listening Pg. 21

Example of this is getting directions. Whether you are getting directions on how to get somewhere or how to perform a particular task, you know the importance of being able to faithfully recreate the information in your mind so you can follow through with your objective.

Conformity Orientation Pg. 113

Extent to which a family stresses the importance of having homogenous attitudes, values, and beliefs.

Environmental factors in Cognitive filtering Pg. 11

Factors can be internal or external. For example, loud radio, uncomfortable temperatures, hunger pangs, and the like can distract you from listening.

Low Conformity Orientation Pg. 113

Families encourage the diversity of thought and opinion. They also encourage children to ask questions and challenge family rules. That is, they tend to encourage healthy conflict management as well as freedom to negotiate house rules.

Low in conformity and high in conversation Pg. 115

Families tend to be much more forthcoming with positive confirmation.

High Conversation-Conformity Pg. 113

Families tend to have more listening anxiety and intellectual inflexibility.

One Dimension of family communication is Pg. 114

Family Strength. Strong families are characterized by the following: 1. Commitment to the family and well-being of its members. 2. Positive communication and the ability to engage in constructive conflict management 3. Regular expression and confirmation of affection among family members 4. Enjoyment of quality time together 5. A feeling of spiritual well- being 6. Ability to effectively mange stress and crisis situations For most of these things to occurs you need both talking and listening to occur.

Common family communication schema Pg. 117

Family members are more likely to agree on the dimension of expressiveness, the level to which family members are encouraged to express viewpoints, ideas, and emotions.

Two goals that are closely tied to family conversations Pg. 114

Feeling loved and Accepted.

listening MATERRS: "R"ecall Pg 12

First you determine what gets stored in your memory. Secondly, you assess whether a message requires a response. In this level of the model you can break it down to working and long term memory.

Sending confirming or disconfirming messages seems to be part of the family communication schema Pg. 115

For example, husbands and wives seem to use many of the same nonverbal behaviors when they convey negative emotions toward something the other spouse is saying. This commonality for the type of backchannel message (nonverbal messages) being sent would indicate that the family has developed a schema for how to react in such situations.

Schema- based distortions Pg. 55

For example, lets say you are the witness to a bank robbery. You overhear the robber demanding money. When later being interviewed by police, you might remember a weapon being used to threaten the bank employees. Visualizing a weapon would be consisted with most schemata about bank robberies. consequently you remember that detail even though it was not part of the actual robbery.

Gender affecting empathy Pg. 32

Girls generally react with more empathy and greater distress than boys when someone gets hurt.

Sociability Pg. 32

Girls ten to display a more social nature than boys by initiating more social interactions, engaging in turn taking, and developing more expressive language, including brooder vocabularies, earlier than boys. - Parents respond to these characteristics by expressing more positive emotions to their daughters as well as using a greater variety of emotional words.

Higher Conversation Orientation Pg. 113

Grew up interacting frequently and embraced open and direct conversations regardless of how controversial the topic may have been. Ex. Family members listening to each other

Fredrick Bartlett Pg. 52

He articulated that culture affects schema in two ways. 1. it affect stye content and structure of any schema we form, which in turn influences how we use schemata to make sense of information, events people, and other things we encounter. For example, by listening to the traditional folk tales of many native american tribes, we can identify a reverence for nature and the belief that we coexist with all creatures. This reverence impart of the cultural schema of how people treat the land and animals as well as how they would interpret certain events. - Your expectations about a culture are based on your exposure to it. That exposure can be direct or indirect.

Alexander Rothman Pg. 47

He wrote Gain-framed statements can refer to both good rings that will happen and the bad things that will not happen, whereas lost-framed statements can refer to bad things that will happen and good things that will not happen. For example, if you floss, you will enjoy fresh, minty breath is a gain-framed statement, If you don't floss you will have bad breath is a loss-framed statement. - People exposed to a gain-framed message tend to be less willing to risk the bad outcome. So frames, or how the message is worded, can affect how you process an incoming message by leading you to focus on specific information or by enhancing the importune of a particular part of a message.

Scripts Pg. 117

Help us assign meaning to an interaction and act as a guide to behavior (expectations, beliefs, norms)

Erik Van Slyke Pg. 34

Identified six levels of listening that provide a guide for us to sue as we determine how deeply we need to listen. 1. Passive listening 2. Responding listening 3. Selective listening 4. Attentive listening 5. Active listening 6. Empathetic listening

Learning to manage emotions Pg. 122

If we grow up with an emotional expressive family, we likely view the world, and those in it, as empathetic and demonstrative.

Motivation in Awareness Pg. 11

If you are motivated by the subject matter, the situation, or the individual, you will find a way to four and pay attention.

Learning to manage emotions: schema effecting our emotions Pg. 122

If your experience with anger or your anger schema, is such that anger is always negative, chances are you will become anxious when someone around you gets angry, rather than viewing it more objectively and exploring the causes.

Parent-Child conflict Pg. 126

If your family has a high conformity orientation, chances are that conflict is discouraged, whereas if your family is conversation oriented you are encored to express yourself and view conflict as an opportunity to both express and learn.

Why parents do not listen: Lack of time Pg. 124

Important strategy, is to acknowledge when we are too busy to listen. - Set a time when each person can listen closely, and keep that promise. - Have weekly family meetings to build quality listening time.

Active Listening Pg. 36

Involves us using all of our listening capabilities. It is total sensory listening. - Active listeners respond with reflective responses that provide feedback to the other party. - The use of paraphrasing shows that someone is truly listening to what she is saying as well as the affect, or feelings, she is expressing. - Reflective listening tends to boost the self-esteem of the listener because we have been willing as listeners to accept the fact the other person has particular feelings, but we might not accept the justifications of those feelings from that persons perspective. - Active listening allows us to accept the message, but we do not have to understand or accept the messenger.

The purpose of a model Pg. 6

Is to illustrate complex, abstract processes in such a way you have a clear understanding of how the process works.

Example 4 Ch. 1: How does listening affect the ability of a person to learn language? Pg. 3

Learning to speak a language is very largely a task of learning to hear it. You are born with the ability to distinguish sounds necessary to produce any human language. However if infants do not hear certain sounds, they eventually lose the ability to easily reproduce them. Reading comprehension is highly correlated with listening comprehension. This finding can be illustrated by how number of children learn to read by first listening to others read aloud then listening to the words as they themselves read aloud. By reading aloud, children can recognize and self correct their pronunciation.

Reward good behavior Pg. 123

Let them know they have done a good job of listening is an important means of encouraging future good listening habits.

Be a good role model Pg. 122

Listen closely and without criticism is important for building trust. Avoid giving out too much advice, denying feelings, jumping to conclusions, or brushing children off, all of which send the message that they and their concerns are not important to you. Do not interrupt your children when talking, let them finish.

Measuring Listening Pg. 20

Listening is a hypothetical construct, something you know exists but you can't physically see.

Receiving and Processing Information Pg. 43

Listening is defined by both the ILA and NCA is an active, conscious communication act. Much of this activity occurs within your information processing system.

International Listening association listening definition Pg. 5

Listening is the process of receiving, constructing meaning from and responding to spoken and/or nonverbal messages. (definition most used today)

Empathetic Listening Pg. 37

Listening with the intent to accept and understand the other person's frame of reference. This level of listening requires us to suspend our personal reality and immerse ourselves in the other persons reality. - Carl Rogers suggested that we must separate the person from the problem and accept the value of the person.

Belle Ruth Witkin Pg. 6

Looked at listening models and divided the models into three broad areas: 1. Speech communication models 2. Cognitive models 3. Speech science models

Selective Listening Pg. 35

Occurs when we engage our brains and listen for only things that support what we believe, think, or endorse. In essence, it is listening with an agenda. This is the type of listening we use when we argue or debate. We remain focused on what we want in the conversation with this take of listening.

Rational processing in Translation Pg. 12

Occurs when you focus on the information itself and the logic of that information. In this type of processing, you analyze, fairly objectively, the validity of the message and being to connect it with what you have stored in your won information banks. When you use your rational processing as a listener, you are assessing the information according to your individual understanding of the rules of logic.

Affective processing in Translation Pg. 12

Occurs when you primarily focus on the emotional elements of what you are hearing. Is the person upset? Does the message make you happy? At those times you are less concerned about whether a person's message makes sense and are more interested in determining how he or she is feeling.

Example 4 Ch. 4: What is meant by the phrase "empathetic split?" Give an example of when/how a person might experience such a split.

One reason for this empathetic split is that people listeners are trying to control their emotions so they can be prepared to offer assistance or help in some active way. Pg. 73

listening MATERRS: "S"taying connected Pg. 13

Overreaching the entire process is staying connected and being motivated. Staying connected implies that the listening process is more than in one ear and out the other.

High conformity orientation Pg. 115

Parents often set the pattern of withdrawing confirmation and affection when the child fails to conform to the excepted family standards.

Greater Disclosure Pg. 116

Parents who are the most nurturing and supportive tends to receive greater disclosure.

Emotion coach Pg. 121

Parents who engage in this type of coaching actively discuss their children's emotions, helping them to distinguish between differing emotions and assisting them with their emotional skill building.

Example 5 Ch. 4: Of the four individual listening style preferences, which best reflects the characteristics associated with a "Feeler" personality?

People listening

Koerner and Fitzpatrick Pg. 113

Proposed that families have one of two orientations to, or schemata, about communication. 1. Conversation orientation 2. Conformity orientation

Communication and social competence appear to be linked Pg. 112

Socially skilled children are better able to regulate their own and to read others' emotions and non-verbals, to strategically choose the best communicative means of reaching personal and social goals, and balance personal goals while maintaining positive relationships with others.

Jody Koenig Kellas Pg. 117

Storying telling is important to family life.

Michael Nichols Pg. 128

Suggested that responsive listening is one means of handling parent child conflicts. His technique was designed to provide children with greater opportunity to express themselves while reducing the odds of a major meltdown. - Method relies on mutual respect, cooperation, and empathy. - First suggested that parents get the right attitude. Parents need to understand that conversations are about listening not arguing or establishing who's right or in authority. - Secondly suggested that parents are in charge. he believes that taking on the role of listening is a purposive, active event, one that puts parents in charge. - Thirdly suggested that it is ok to postpone decision making. An immediate no is very likely to trigger an immediate argument. - Fourthly suggested to keep it simple. Parents don't always need to provide long, reasoned out justifications for their actions. Long justifications can invite debate. - Fifthly suggested that children grow up, and their listening needs change as they grow and mature.

Skilled Communicators Pg. 112

Tend to be less lonely, be more accepted by their peers, have better relationships, and generally be more sociable.

National Communication Association competencies of listening Pg. 19

The NCA suggested that a competent listener should be proficient in two areas. 1. Literal comprehension. 2. Critical comprehension.

1st step in listening Pg. 42

The message must be physically received. This step is physiological

Dismissing Parents Pg. 121

These parents are not comfortable with emotion coaching because in their effort to be helpful and make their children feel better, they often ignore the children's emotions. In other more negative cases, parents can be dismissive, actually punishing the child for either showing or asking about emotions.

Agneta Fischer and Anthony Manstead Pg. 33

They examined the data from approximately 3,000 surveys administered to men and women from 37 countries across five contents. their research focused now how men and women from these different cultures compared in their intensity, duration, and nonverbal expressions of their emotions. - Intensity: refers to the strength or level of an emotional response - Duration: refers to the overall time a respondent reported an emotion lasting - Nonverbal expression: refers to the beavhioral expression of an emotion (laughing, crying, yelling, withdrawing form others). - Results reports that women from all over have more intense emotions, which were longer in duration. Also that the women were more overtly expressive of their emotions.

Family Communication Schemata: Ascan Koerner and Mary Ann Fitzpatrick Pg. 113

They feel that these schemata are originally shaped by how parents communicate with each other and their children. Also feel that the schemata are reflected in the communication behaviors as family members interact with each other.

Thinking and Feeling Pg. 66

This dimension or function addresses how people make decisions about what they have perceived. - Thus, it includes "decision making, evaluation, choice, and the selection of the response after perceiving the stimulus." - Rationality is at the core of this dimension of the MBTI. However, thinkers and feelers employ rationality in very different ways.

Sympathetic responsiveness Pg. 32

This is where we feel for someone else. When you engage in sympathetic responsiveness, you also feel other emotions that are in keeping with the situation. You might feel concern for her, while at the same time you are angry at the evil former boyfriend. So with empathetic responsiveness, you would feel sad and upset, reflecting her feelings of sadness and being upset at the breakup, but with sympathetic responsiveness, you would feel other related emotions that would reflect your emotional concern for your firmed.

Passive Listening Pg. 34

This type of listening is one in which we sit quietly while another person talks. Also has been referred to as marginal listening because the receiver hears words but is easily distracted and allows his or her mind to wander. We are engaging in low-fidelity listening because we catch only a few phrases or words. We are aware that the other person is talking but we don't expend enough energy to truly comprehend what the individual is saying. Ex listening to music while driving you are using passive listening.

Example 4 Ch. 2: Briefly describe how empathy, gender and sociability are inter-related. Pg. 32 Factors affecting empathy

Well gender and empathy are related to empathy. Girls generally react with more empathy and greater distress than boys. Girls tend to display a more social nature than boys by initiating more social interactions, engaging in turn taking, and developing more expressive language, including broader vocabularies, earlier than boys.

Culture Pg. 32-33

Western cultures such as the U.S tend to share a cultural belief that women are more emotional than men. Men, are more likely to express powerful emotions such as anger and pride. Women in the western cultures appear to have an advantage in terms of both biology and cultural learning.

David Brant and William Powers Pg. 20

When the concept of fidelity was first intro ducted, they focused on how well a sender could communicate with a receiver. - They felt that a sender should be able to communicate clearly enough that the receiver could create a representation of the message that was very similar to the original.

listening MATERRS: "E"valuation Pg. 12

When you truly begin linking what you hear to what you know, you have moved to evaluating a message. This level involves the actual cognitive processing of the information. This level also includes value assessments.

Asking children to paraphrase Pg. 123

Whether orally or written, good listening requires the ability to analyze and summarize information. Avoid yelling across the room, down the hall, or out the door. Tell them you need their attention for a specified amount of time.

Ethel Glenn Pg. 5

Wrote an overview of definitions of listening. She concluded her article by stating, universal definition of listening from which operational guidelines may be established will not be easy to formulate.

Low Conversation Orientation Pg. 113

You didn't feel particularly free to share your thoughts or opinions with other members of the family.

Personal bias in Cognitive filtering Pg. 11

You might stop listening to a speaker because you think you have heard it all before, you personally dislike him, or you think he is too young to offer insight into your conversation. Your bias have a tremendous effect on your choice to engage in the next aspect of our model: translation.

Example 2: One's perception of something as true or real is called what? A: A

a. belief b. attitude c. script d. value

Example 1 Ch. 2: The type of listening that helps us identify if we are in harm's way after hearing a sound is ____________ listening. A: A

a. discriminative b. comprehensive c. appreciative d. critical

Example 2 Ch. 2: The type of listening that addresses the physical reception of a stimulus is ____________ listening. A: A

a. discriminative b. comprehensive c. appreciative d. critical

Example 2 Ch. 5: Levi decides he wants to purchase a home because it will be a good investment. He visits a house with a realtor and decides to place an offer. His realtor suggests that he look at more houses or do more research on the surrounding community, but Levi tells his realtor, "I just got a good feeling from this house." Levi would be best described as a(n) A: D

a. extrovert b. intuitor c. sensor d. feeler

Example 1 Ch. 6: Studying listening in the family context can be difficult because A: A

a. family make-up varies widely today b. families are private about their communication c. family dynamics are predictable d. families are in more conflict than ever before

Example 1 Ch. 1: The use of technology has ____________ our overall communication time and ___________ overall time spent speaking and listening. A: B

a. increased / increased b. increased / decreased c. decreased / increased d. decreased / decreased

Example 2 Ch. 1: Jane is talking on her phone to her mother while walking to her next class. She has an exam the class, so she also is trying to look at vocabulary flash cards as she walks. In this situation, Martha is experiencing which of the following? A: C

a. low motivation b. low cognitive filtering c. high cognitive load d. high mental stimulus

Example 1 Ch. 5: Grice's maxim of manner guides a speaker to be A: B

a. organized b. well-mannered c. useful d. truthful

Example 1 Ch. 3: Min has a headache that is preventing her from fully paying attention during class lecture. Min is experiencing A: B maybe

a. physical internal stimuli b. internal noise c. cognitive internal stimuli d. external interference

Example 1 Ch. 4: Researchers divide personality into which two of the following categories? A: C

a. temperament and traits b. personality and states c. temperament and personality d. traits and biology

Example 2 Ch. 4: Which of the following aspects of personality are considered to be most stable? A: A

a. temperaments b. states c. polarization d. sociability

Avoidance Pg. 118

addresses how much family member will avoid conflict (engaging in an unapproved behavior; avoid certain topics of conversation).

Cognitive filtering in Awareness Pg. 11

addresses your ability to filter out common noises.

Structural traditionalism Pg. 117

how much family members embrace conventional notions of marriage and family life (ex, parents have the ability/authority to get children to conform to family life) Ex. if someone feels that a family is only two herterosexual people legally connected to each other by the laws of the land they are unlikely to consider other perspective on family.

Self-disclosure Pg. 115

is a process of communication by which one person reveals information about himself or herself to another.

Coherence Pg. 119

is related to family members ability to work together during the joint telling of a story to be able to integrate it into a larger whole.

Cognitive Load in Awareness Pg. 11

is the amount of information you are mentally processing at a given point in time. For example, if you are experiencing a particularly high cognitive load, you might tnot be able to listen any further. The student who is worried about an exam; the woman driving and talking on her mobile phone; and the dad with a child jumping up and down, trying to get his attention will all have a higher cognitive load than the person who is sitting quietly, focused on a presentation. - The higher the cognitive load, the fewer mental resources you have available to listen.

Conversation Orientation Pg. 113

is the degree to which a family encourages its members to participate in unrestricted discussions about a wide variety of subjects.

Family Communication Schemata Pg. 113

knowledge structures that represent the external world of the family and provide a basis for interpreting what other family members say and do.

Listening MATERRS: "M"ental stimulus Pg. 10

occurs when you actively attend to a physical noise or stimulus. You make a conscious decision to focus and listen to a particular input. Thus, you hear your name from across the room, someone raises his voice and speaks angrily, or you see a quick movement and direct your focus to that particular listening event. - hearing is the physiological process, while listening involves intentionality on the part of the receiver.

Long term memory Pg. 12

your storehouse of information. It contains all the information you have learned in life.