FAD Ch. 16: Divorce

How has the divorce rate changed since 1860?

- The divorce rate began to rise steadily in *1860*, although it dropped during the Great Depression of the *1930s*. - After the Great Depression & WW11, the divorce rate peaked in *1940*. - It declined with the rise of domesticity, and then peaked again in *1980*. - Since then, the divorce rate declined sharply & leveled off.

How does a reduced standard of living impact children during a divorce?

- The standard of living for mothers & children declines considerably after divorce. - Certain types of clothing, outings, & vacations may no longer be possible. - Teenagers may need to work at after-school jobs to provide basic necessities.

Does divorce hurt kids? Describe the Wallerstein perspective & the Hetherington perspective.

- Wallerstein's research used qualitative microanalysis. She concluded that divorce creates serious psychological debilitations in children, often continuing on through adolescence & adulthood. - Hetherington's research used quantitative analysis. She followed 1400 families for 3 decades and concluded that the majority of children (75-80%) are resilient. - Both perspectives are correct; it is merely the interpretation that makes the difference. Wallerstein was more "glass half empty".

What was divorce like in colonial America? How did Susan B. Anthony & Elizabeth Stanton change divorce?

- Women in colonial America had few legal rights & their ability to initiate divorce was limited. Most divorces were granted to men on the grounds of "cruelty" (a woman attempting to break out of her subordinate role). - Anthony, Stanton, & Bloomer petitioned to make divorce more available to women. In the late 1800's, divorces were granted to women on grounds of drunkenness, cruelty, desertion, & neglect to provide for the family.

Describe how women's attitudes are related to the expected *utility of divorce*.

- Women with *less education* are unsure about their partners' financial prospects and want to keep divorce as an option. - Women with *more education* can be more selective about who they marry and are less likely to anticipate divorce.

What is *legal custody*? What is *sole legal custody* and *joint legal custody*?

*Legal custody* is a custody agreement in which one parent has the legal authority to make important decisions concerning the children after a divorce (e.g. where they will go to school, where they will live, & who will be notified in case of an emergency). - *Sole legal custody* grants legal custody solely to the parent with whom the child lives. - *Joint legal custody* is becoming more popular. It grants non-custodial parents (usually fathers) to retain their legal rights with respect to their children.

What is *physical custody*? What is *sole physical custody* and *joint physical custody*?

*Physical custody* is a custody arrangement that determines where the children reside. - *Sole physical custody* - the child legally lives with one parent & "visits" the other parents. *In more than 82% of divorces, mothers have sole physical custody*. - *Joint physical custody* - children spend a substantial portion of time in the homes of both parents, perhaps alternating weeks or days.

Discuss "his" and "her" divorce.

- "His Divorce" involves: ● Loss of time with children ● More general loneliness (women have more support groups) ● Elevated anger & grief (anger is one of those "manly" emotions that is okay to feel) ● The male gender role discourages men from sharing their feelings with other men. - "Her Divorce" involves: ● Financial worries ● Emotional overload (e.g. Trying to be the "complete" parent for children) ● Personal identity

What is *child-snatching*?

- *Child-snatching*, the act of a non-custodial parent kidnapping his or her child, is an epidemic. - Parent claims it is in the best interest of the child, but it is usually done for revenge or other self-serving reasons. - Most cases of child-snatching happen prior to the final court decree.

What is *divorce mediation*?

- *Divorce mediation* is a non-adversarial means of resolution, in which the divorcing couple, along with a third party such as a therapist or mediator, negotiate the terms of their financial, custody, & visitation settlement. - The couple chooses to work as a team to resolve all of their divorce issues & avoid the court process. Once an agreement is reached & filed with the court, it has the same effect as a court order.

Describe the role of the initiator in the emotional divorce.

- *Initiators* have the advantage of preparing emotionally for the separation. - They express general discontent at first without attributing it to the marriage per se. They may try to alter the relationship or the spouse's behavior by suggesting remedies (e.g. a new baby) or threatening to leave. Some divorcing spouses disagree as to who the initiator actually was.

What is a *child support order*? How was child support arranged & enforced in the past? How has it changed?

- A *child support order* is a legal document delineating the amount & circumstances of the financial support of the non-custodial parent. - In the past, child support privately arranged. The administrative authority was left to the local courts, and enforcement was minimal. - Since then, congress has passed laws to increase child support & improve the collection of child support payments. Unfortunately, these efforts haven't been very successful; only half of custodial parents have a child support agreement.

What is the *legal divorce*? How much does a divorce cost?

- A *legal divorce* terminates the marriage contract by a state court order. The couple is then free to live separate lives & remarry. - For couples who can agree on most things, divorce only costs a few hundred dollars. - For other couples, divorce is an adversarial process. They may turn to separate lawyers to oversee the division of assets, debts, visitation, and child support. *Hiring lawyers can cost an average of over $15,000*.

How does the loss of a parent impact children during a divorce?

- Children often live with their mothers & only see their fathers sporadically (if at all). - However, fathers are extremely important to their children's lives. For instance, children whose fathers are involved have less behavioral problems. - Additionally, fathers who have frequent contact with their children during younger years have closer relationships with them in adulthood. - Many fathers choose to ignore their children, but the residential parent is a gatekeeper and may interfere with the relationship between father & children.

How does non-marital childbearing influence divorce?

- Couples who bear children prior to marriage have higher rates of divorce when married. - Pregnancy may encourage people to marry when they may not otherwise have chosen to do so, or before they are financially or emotionally ready.

How does parental status affect the likelihood of divorce?

- Couples who have children (particularly young children) are less likely to divorce. - Children provide stability; a couple may stay in an unfulfilling marriage for their children's sake. - Child-free couples have fewer barriers preventing them from leaving an unhappy marriage.

How does age affect likelihood of divorce?

- Couples who marry at a young age are in one of the highest-risk categories for divorce. - This is especially true for teenagers. They often lack maturity, marry after a premarital pregnancy, and struggle with low income & an interrupted education.

What can divorce be envisioned as? What are the two main reasons people choose to divorce?

- Divorce is a *process*. - The most commons reasons for divorce are "growing apart" and "not being able to talk together".

Describe the emotional divorce.

- Divorce is extremely difficult emotionally. In fact, divorced individuals have more health problems, experience more depression & anxiety, and have a greater risk of mortality. - Emotional divorce involves withholding positive communications from the relationship. You must emotionally detach yourself from your partner, no longer sharing the good or bad things that happen in your life.

How do women's status & employment influence divorce?

- Divorce laws are more restrictive in patriarchal societies. - Women are put at such an economic disadvantage that they often don't ask for a divorce. - In the U.S., women have been economically dependent on men for centuries. In the 1970's, changes in women's employment patterns enabled women to support themselves more easily, & thus, to end unhappy marriages. - Women who are more self-sufficient are more likely to divorce than those who are economically dependent.

At which age is divorce most difficult for children?

- Divorce may be most difficult for school-age children, who experience a greater number of transitions with school & friendships. - Boys may experience more difficulty than girls, particularly if they have little contact with their fathers. - However, there may be a *sleeper effect* among girls, meaning that their behavioral problems are simply delayed until adolescence or adulthood.

Describe the economic divorce. Who does divorce hurt more financially? What is *alimony*?

- Economic divorce involves dividing assets & debts. It also involves instating alimony & child support. - The economic fallout after a divorce is more painful for women & children than it is for men; men's income declines slightly in the divorce year & women's income declines dramatically over the next five years. Women are twice as likely to become impoverished. - Some women request *alimony*, which is a payment by one partner to the other to support the more dependent spouse for a period of time. Unfortunately, there are no universal standards for alimony, as there are for child support; many states are trying to limit payments or terminate lifetime alimony.

What percentage of divorces involve children? When do children's difficulties regarding divorce begin? How do young children cope in particular?

- Half of divorces involve children. - Children's difficulties occur before *and* after the divorce. - Young children are egocentric, and may feel that they are responsible for their parents' conflict & divorce.

What characterizes a "good divorce"? What are *bi-nuclear families*?

- Having a "good divorce" depends on your perspective of your ex-partner. You can either view them as a lasting enemy; or the end of a romantic relationship with continued co-parenting. - *Bi-nuclear families* are a type of family consisting of divorced parents living in two separate households, but remaining one family in spirit for the sake of their children.

How do race & ethnicity influence divorce?

- Hispanics & Asians are least likely to divorce. - Blacks are most likely to divorce (due to a lack of jobs & higher rates of unemployment).

How do divorce laws influence divorce?

- In many parts of the Middle East, men can divorce their wives for any reason by declaring "I divorce thee", but women do not have the same right. Only recently have Egyptian women been allowed to file for divorce. - Not long ago in the U.S., one of the marriage partners had to be "at fault" (for mental cruelty, adultery, or desertion) in a divorce proceeding. - Today, divorce is more lenient in the U.S. *No-fault divorce* is prevalent in all states. A divorcing couple can go before a judge without one party having to blame the other & claim "irreconcilable differences".

How does parental adjustment impact children during a divorce?

- In the first year or two following divorce, parents may be preoccupied by their own distress, making it difficult to be an effective parent. - Some parents, in fact, turn toward their children for comfort & support. This can lead to closer relationships, but it might also involve putting a child into an adult role that is will beyond his years.

What does joint physical custody require? How does it benefit children?

- Joint physical custody requires a lot of cooperation between parents. It tends to work best when both parents want it & are willing to work with one another. It is almost never granted if either parent objects. - Children in joint custody arrangements tend to have better social, emotional, and academic outcomes.

How does the level of socioeconomic development influence divorce?

- Less developed countries have significantly lower divorce rates than do developed countries in North America & Europe. - Most people can't support themselves on their own in less developed countries, and families are of the utmost importance.

How does the age of a couple influence divorce?

- Likelihood of a couple divorcing rises in adulthood & declines in old age. - Unhappy older couples decide it is better to remain married than to divorce later in life; the financial & emotional costs would outweigh the benefits.

Who believes that divorce should be more restrictive?

- More people now oppose divorce & believe that it should be difficult to obtain than people of a generation ago. ● In particular, *younger adults* (not older adults) want divorce to be more restrictive. ● Blacks are more likely than Hispanics & Whites to favor restrictive divorce. ● Women with college degrees are more likely to say that divorce should be difficult to obtain than high-school graduates.

How does parental conflict impact children during a divorce?

- Parent conflict is the most potent predictor of childhood problems. - Parents may try to use their children as a weapon to hurt the ex-spouse or communicate their hostility toward one another to their children. - This can cause children stress & lead to depression. Children have fewer problems if their parents cooperate or minimize conflict in front of them.

How does the degree of similarity between partners (heterogyny) influence divorce?

- People are less likely to divorce when they share age, religion, race, or ethnic group. - Interracial marriages have a higher rate of divorce, especially if they are between a black husband/white wife, or a hispanic husband/white whife.

How does income influence divorce?

- People with lower incomes are more likely to divorce. - Financial & job-related stresses contribute to marital problems.

How does education influence divorce?

- People with lower levels of education are more likely to divorce. - However, women with very high levels of education are also more likely to divorce; an advanced degree contributes to their ability to be economically independent.

Describe the community divorce. Which relationships may deteriorate? How does divorce affect the extended family?

- Relationships between former in-laws and shared friends may deteriorate. - Community ties to teachers, neighbors, churches, and children's recreation groups may be severed if a parent moves to a different neighborhood or school. - Divorce can also affect the extended family. In some cases, the custodial parent may choose to deny visitation to former in-laws. For this reason, grandparents have sought legal protection & media attention to maintain ties with their grandchildren.

Which is worse for children - divorce or marital conflict?

- Researchers suggest that it's the *severity of the conflict*, rather than a divorce per se, that causes harm to children. - One study found that the worst situations for children are to be in either (1) a high-conflict marriage that doesn't end in divorce, and (2) a low-conflict marriage that does end in divorce.

What are the long-term effects of divorce on children?

- Some children continue to feel the effects of their parents' divorce for years. *The Wallerstein study show that 1/3 of children were still depressed & suffering from behavioral problems many years after the divorce*. - Children whose parents divorce are more likely to become pregnant before marriage, drop out of school, use alcohol/drugs, or be unemployed. They also have more behavioral problems and poorer health. - Children from single-mother homes produced by divorce were less likely to graduate high school or attend college. They also had lower occupation status.

What is the *intergenerational transmission of divorce*?

- The *intergenerational transmission of divorce* is a pattern noted by researchers that people whose parents divorced are also more likely to divorce.

Of the two-thirds of couples who stayed together, what were the 3 broad categories?

- The *marital endurance ethic* - these couples became happier not just because partners resolved problems, but because they stubbornly outlasted them (over time, the sources of conflict ceased). - The *marital work ethic* - these spouses actively worked to solve problems, change behavior, & improve communication. - The *personal happiness ethic* - these spouses' marriage problems didn't diminish, but they found other ways to improve their happiness.

What are the phases of separation?

1. *Pre-separation* - One partner (or both) begins to think about the benefits of separation. This happens at the individual level. - They may fantasize about freedom from responsibilities. - The partners may not reveal their intention to separate to friends or family & will often continue to attend family functions together. 2. *Early separation* - Couple faces series of issues as they separate: Who will move out? How will we divided finances? How will we divide parenting? How do we tell our others? - They have conflicting feelings about separation. 3. *Mid-separation* - The realities of daily living set in (e.g. maintaining two households, arranging visitations, living on reduced income). - In this stage, the partners may get back together; some people reconcile simply to avoid these pressures. 4. *Late separation* - Couple must learn to live as two single people. - They also must decide on their next step. Some couples may file for a *legal separation* (a binding agreement signed by both spouses that provides details about child support), and others may decide that divorce is the only option.

How are people seeking to make divorce more difficult to obtain?

1. A restoration of fault for all divorces (no more "no fault divorces") 2. A waiting period of as long as 5 years 3. A more extensive process for divorces involving children (to prioritize the needs of children).

How do attitudes toward divorce influence divorce?

1. In many parts of the world today, women who divorce are stigmatized. 2. 50 years ago in the U.S., a divorced person wouldn't have been elected to political office. However, societal attitudes toward divorce have changed as it became more common. Today, most people in the U.S. believe that divorce is morally acceptable. As divorce became less stigmatized, more unhappy couples considered it an appropriate way to end their relationship. 3. Some couples that contemplate marriage have begun to see marriage as semi-permanent. This is a self-fulfilling prophecy; if partners enter marriage with the idea that it can be easily terminated, it is more likely that it will.

Which macro-level factors predict divorce?

1. Level of socioeconomic development 2. Religion 3. Divorce laws 4. Women's status & employment 5. Attitudes toward divorce

Why do noncustodial fathers have poorer relationships with their children?

1. May be due to a selection effect (i.e. fathers with custody value their children more, which is why they sought custody). 2. The presence of children in the home allows the father a greater sense of control over his children's lives. 3. Co-residence frees the father from the aggravation of negotiating future visits 4. Living together may encourage fathers to become more involved with their children's lives.

What are the short-term effects of divorce on children?

1. Parental adjustment 2. Parental conflict 3. Loss of a parent 4. A reduced standard of living (economic hardship) 5. Adjusting to transitions (family instability)

Which 11 micro-level factors predict divorce (A PANTS PRIDE)?

1. Parental divorce 2. Age at marriage 3. Parental status 4. Non-marital childbearing 5. Sex of children 6. Race & ethnicity 7. Education 8. Income 9. Degree of similarity between spouses (heterogyny) 10. The couple's age 11. Attitudes

What are the reasons for the intergenerational transmission of divorce?

1. Parents serve as role models for their children in commitment & relationship behavior. ● How can you be a good partner if you don't know what a healthy relationship looks like? 2. The transmission of intergenerational socioeconomic risk. ● Children whose parents divorced tend to marry younger, have lower incomes, are more likely to have children non-maritally, & are less likely to go to college. 3. Children with divorced parents sometimes experience negative long-term consequences (anxiety, depression) that can harm their marriages.

What are the 6 stations of divorce?

1. The Emotional Divorce 2. The Legal Divorce 3. The Economic Divorce 4. The Co-Parental Divorce 5. The Community Divorce 6. The Psychic Divorce

Why do men have more emotional difficulties following a divorce?

1. They have a weaker network of supportive relationships. 2. Men are more dependent on marriage; those with traditional marriages may struggle with routine household tasks. 3. Many men lose custody of their children.

What explains the income difference between men and women after divorce?

After a divorce, men become single, and women become single parents: ● Women's employment opportunities are restricted due to the demands of raising children. ● Many women have been out of the labor market while raising children & struggle to re-enter. ● Women struggle to balance work & family because of uncompromising workplaces.

Describe the co-parental divorce.

Co-parental divorce involves agreeing on parenting strategies & deciding on custody.

How does the sex of a child influence divorce?

Couples who have sons are less likely to divorce than couples who have daughters. *This is because fathers are more engaged with their children, & therefore mothers perceive the relationship as more equitable*.

What is a covenant marriage?

Covenant marriage demands premarital counseling & an oath of lifelong commitment. It makes divorce more difficult by requiring counseling & offering limited grounds. It is legal in 3 states.

Describe the stations of divorce (Paul Bohannon).

Divorce doesn't end a relationship between two people alone; it alters & severs many personal & legal ties. The *Stations of Divorce* are the interrelated emotional, legal, economic, co-parental, community, & psychic dimensions of divorce, which together attempt to capture the complexity of the divorce experience.

Describe the *psychic divorce*.

The *psychic divorce* refers to the process of regaining psychological autonomy and beginning to feel whole & complete again as a single person.

Is divorce a "new phenomenon"?

Some people believe that divorce in the U.S. is a relatively new phenomenon, but people throughout history have found ways to terminate marriages (separation, desertion).

Describe the model of deciding about divorce (exchange theory).

Spouses assess they remarriage in terms of: - The *rewards* of the marriage (e.g. "This is the person knows me inside & out") - The *barriers* to divorce (e.g. "Can we afford to live in two different places? Do I only want to see my kids part of the time?") - The *alternatives* to marriage (e.g. Picturing yourself as single, or in a different relationship).

Are people happier after divorce?

There are conflicting studies: *Study 1*: One year after separation, people were found to be less happy; but in one year after divorce, people were happier than they had been while married. *Study 2*: Two-thirds of couples who reported low marital satisfaction & did not divorce described themselves as being "very happy" five years later. Those who reported low marital satisfaction & did divorce were no happier after becoming divorced.

How does adjusting to transitions impact children during a divorce?

Transitions can be very difficult for the child: 1. The family's house may have to be sold and the child may have to move to new neighborhoods, schools, & friends. 2. The child must adapt to a visitation schedule with the noncustodial parent. 3. The child must meet the parents' new partners, adapt to adults moving in/out of the household, and experience stepparent relationships.